Chapter 11

Jen could not think, she found out that she had lost her ability of coherent thoughts the moment his lips touched hers. How could he arouse her so easily? All her things that she denied herself were haunting her. The desire to be with a man, which she had so easily suppressed had come back with a vengeance. The moment their bodies were close, the moment his mouth was on hers she knew that she would do whatever he asked.

But she couldn't. Of course she wanted him. Of course her knees were weak every time he kissed her but she still had to think about herself. Because Alex was ready to give her everything except from the thing she wanted most. Whereas she was ready to offer everything to him, heart, body and soul and that was out of the question. Jen had made that mistake before and now she knew better.

Alex tore his mouth from hers. "What's wrong?", he asked.

"What's wrong?", she repeated as if she didn't understand the meaning of his words.

"I don't want to sound too smug Jennifer but usually when I kiss a woman she kisses me back. You were miles away", he said matter-of-fact.

"I was thinking that we have reached an impasse Mr. Devlin".

"Really?", he mocked raising an eyebrow.

Jen took a step back and folded her arms. This was a battle of wits and wills and she was determined to win. "You said before that all you want from me is a fuck and I don't think that I can give you that".

"Would you feel better if I said that I want your heart as well?"

She gasped. How would she feel? Afraid, terrified, scared to death. "I can't afford to give my heart to you Mr. Devlin", she stated calmly.

He walked towards her and his forefinger caressed her chin seductively. "I know. But I'm not asking for it, am I?"

No, he was not. He was just asking for other parts of her anatomy but certainly her heart was not one of them. Jen tried to sound stern. It was difficult to speak when he was touching her. "The problem Mr. Devlin is that wherever my body goes my heart follows. I am afraid that you can't have one without the other", she admitted. Surely that would frighten him enough to leave her alone.

Devlin just grinned. "Although I should praise you for your honesty Jennifer, that doesn't solve our problem. I still ache for you", he said and placed her right hand on him, where she could feel his throbbing erection beneath his jeans.

"It's not my problem", she muttered but she didn't take her hand away.

"It's not?", he laughed.

Jen felt the need to hit him even though she had never hurt another human being in her life. "Why is that so amusing?", she asked and removed her hand from him.

"Because you forget that I have touched you before. And you were not so indifferent then".

"I told you", she insisted firmly, "that won't happen again. I am a woman after all and you are a very experienced man. But that doesn't mean that I can't control myself".

"Are you challenging me Jennifer?" His gray eyes were gleaming and he gave her a lopsided smile that made her insides melt. "I can make you want me".

"I have no doubt that you can Mr. Devlin. But that isn't much of a victory, is it?"

That silenced him for a while. He was studying her and he didn't look amused anymore. "I have underestimated you, haven't I?", he said suddenly but Jen didn't reply. "However, part of you still wants the same thing that I do and the longer we deny it the worst it will get for both of us. Or am I wrong?"

His eyes were challenging her to deny it, to refuse the attraction between them but of course she couldn't. She longed to tell him that he wasn't right, that she didn't care, that she could live under the same roof as he did and forget that he had ever kissed her mouth or touched her breasts or ... But she couldn't lie. And even if she did that wouldn't help her. "So, what do you propose Mr. Devlin?"

"A deal. I take part of what I want and I won't bother you anymore".

"And what does that deal entail exactly?", she demanded full of suspicions.

"We will stay in Paris for a few more days and during these days you will sleep with me. In my room". He emphasized the words as if she were too stupid to understand their meaning.

Jen felt every part of her body screaming yes while her mouth said otherwise. "I told you already that I won't have sex with you. For me it's something very intimate and personal-"

"And you don't allow yourself to get that close with anyone, right?"

There was a hint of accusation in his tone and she didn't like it. Sex meant letting go, trusting a man enough to see you at your most vulnerable and Jen was not so sure that she wanted to reveal any part of her to Alexander Devlin.

"Except from Jason Williams, that is", he corrected himself.

If she didn't know any better she would assume that he was jealous. But no, he was just possessive. "This is between you and me Mr. Devlin. It has nothing to do with Jason".

"I wonder...", he said looking thoughtful, "What did he do to get you to sleep with him? Perhaps I should call him and ask for advice..." He reached for the phone but Jen smacked his hand.

"Don't you dare!"

"Jennifer you look like a smitten teenager". How she hated him when he was saying things like that! "Don't worry, I was just kidding. Besides, you have already explained it to me. He is kind and caring and I'm a heartless bastard. Let's leave it at that. However, I still believe that the best way to deal with our problem is to fuck".

Jen wondered if he was trying to shock her. She decided to fight back. "Very well Mr. Devlin, I'll sleep with you..." He was smiling triumphantly and he approached her, ready to claim his prize. "Once", she added.

The shot found its target. He was staring at her in disbelief but she remained calm. Devlin recovered soon. "Give me one night", he shot back. She was ready to protest but he didn't let her. "You already agreed to this and I'm not asking for a few days anymore. Does it matter if you spend the whole night with me?"

Actually it didn't. She was in trouble either way. She nodded but before she could speak his mouth was on hers. This time she didn't push him away. Instead she put her arms around him and brought her body closer to his. Devlin sensed her surrender and he slowed down.

He feasted on her mouth, nibbling, licking, taking small bites. His tongue opened her lips gently and he murmured, "Open for me Jen ... That's it ... Give me you tongue". She did as he asked. At that moment she would have done anything to please him. Suddenly, her insecurities got the better of her. How could she, a plain girl, please Alexander Devlin? He had been with beautiful girls, more experienced girls, who were willing to do a lot of things she was not just to satisfy him.

She almost asked him to stop. She was no great beauty and what is more she hadn't done that sort of thing for years. What if he compared her to others afterwards and found her lacking? She would die out of shame.

Devlin's grip tightened. "You're doing it again", he whispered biting the lobe of her ear softly.

"What am I doing?", she asked. She didn't recognize her own voice. It was hoarse and husky, filled with lust.