Four of the most dreaded words a man can hear from his woman are: "We need to talk". Those words are a woman's secret code for: ha-ha boy, you're fucked. The worst thing about hearing these words from my woman is that it undoubtedly signaled the oncoming of a long drawn out conversation about how I don't have a vagina and how she doesn't understand that. Other features are senseless bitching about her ridiculous insecurity's that defy logic and rationality. And my wife Kaelyn had said those words to me the moment I walked through the door after work.
I knew that "We need to talk" might be said after the toilet seat is left in the upright position, and/or she felt that I put my needs before hers and/or I had forgotten our anniversary, and/or I'd been spending to much time at work, and/or I didn't help around the house enough and/or ... but I didn't take those words lightly knowing they were my clue that I needed to act quickly.
"Okay honey. When?" I asked tentatively.
"Both the girls are over at my moms doing their homework, so we can either talk now or we can wait until after dinner and the girl's are in bed."
As serious as Kaelyn looked there was no way I was willing to wait until after dinner for the shit to hit the fan so I said, "I'm just going to grab a beer and then we'll talk. Do you want one?"
"No thank you." She answered curtly then turning she walked away and took a seat at the dinning room table.
I went into the kitchen, grabbed a Corona out of the frig, popped the top and then joined my wife in the dinning room. Taking a seat across from her I said, "Okay, so what did I do now?"
Kaelyn just looked at me and without answering my question she said, "I've lost the passion for our marriage Jack. Whatever we used to be, who I used to be, and how our relationship was set up isn't working for me anymore. I feel trapped and I think we need to get a separation."
I loved my wife and my two kids more than life itself and her words came like a kick in my gut! I knew that things had been tough in our marriage from time to time, but we always would work things out. But today, out of the blue, she announced that she thought we should separate!
"What!" I snapped. "Are you asking me for a divorce?"
"Yes ... no, I don't know." She answered.
"What the hell does that mean for Christ sake?!"
"I don't know what it means," she responded calmly. "I just know I have to make a change."
"A change! What the hell has gotten into you Kaelyn?! We've been married for sixteen years for Christ sake. We have two teen-aged daughters together. I don't believe this shit!" My voice had risen quite a bit.
"If you're going to sit there and yell I'm not going to talk to you Jack. I'm trying to be as fair to you as I can possibly be." Kaelyn said while making a motion to get up.
I forced myself to calm down and in a more reasonable tone of voice I said, "Alright Kaelyn, sit down please. I'm sorry. I just don't understand where all this came from all of a sudden."
Retaking her seat Kaelyn said, "It isn't all of a sudden Jack I've been miserable for quite a while now. Believe me I didn't want things to end this way. I'm sure neither of us had ever imagined this moment when we vowed to love each other. But I also know I can not keep going the way we're going. I wake up every morning feeling trapped and stuck. I go to bed every night feeling like I'm living a lie. Sure, I care for you Jack, but other than that, I feel empty for you. As we are now there is little warmth and even less affection between the two of us. Over time, I realized that I had to take action. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and feeling that I must preserve what is left of my life my only choices are to either fall over that cliff or walk away. I'm trying to decide if I need to walk away."
Just like that, I felt the earth being pulled out from under me. How could this have happened? Sixteen years of marriage should not just end like this. Those were the words that echoed in my mind.
"Is there someone else Kaelyn? Have you found someone else? Is that it?" I asked barely able to contain the fear in my voice.
"I'm not sure. Maybe." She answered.
"Maybe!" I shouted. "Maybe! Are you sleeping with another man behind my back Kaelyn?!"
"I told you not to shout Jack or this conversation is over." Kaelyn admonished me. "And no I'm not sleeping with him. I wouldn't do that to you. I respect you far too much to do anything like that. I'm not one of those women that cuckold's their husband striping away his manhood, dignity and self respect. You should know me better than that."
"So you expect me to believe that you're not having some tawdry little affair with this dick head is that right?" I asked feeling really pissed off now but controlling my voice.
"Not a physical affair no, but it may be an emotional one." She responded.
"In all the years that we've been together I have never once cheated on you Kaelyn, not even emotionally, so I'm not thinking very nice things about you right now, and even if I did believe that you haven't spread your legs for this guy yet, and remember I said yet, just what in the hell is it you two do together then?!" My voice rose again uncontrollably.
"Don't get vulgar Jack I'm trying to be completely honest with you here. We share our more intimate thoughts, he is quite capable of showing his feelings, and has bared his soul to me more than once. He and I talk. We share our feeling together. We comfort one another. We understand each other's needs and wants. We..."
"I just don't believe this shit!" I shook my head cutting her words off. "You comfort each other? Understand each other's needs? Christ! What he wants is to get into your pants Kaelyn! So what liberties have you allowed this man to take Kaelyn? You said he isn't fucking you, but exactly what liberties are you allowing this man to have with my wife in order to fulfill his wants and needs?"
"None ... well almost none. We've kissed a few times." She answered.
"Kissed a few times huh?" I just stared across at the woman I didn't even know any more. "And you're not fucking each other huh? Have you let him feel your tits Kaelyn?! Have you had his cock in your mouth while he eats you out in order to fill his needs?!"
"No!" She said emphatically. "Damn it Jack! I'm trying to be reasonable about this but obviously you're not willing to act rationally so this conversation is over! I'm trying to be up front with you, which is a lot more than most women would do in my situation. I told you we only relate platonically and I won't do anything with him until you and I are settled. And yes, he has tried to touch me on my breasts and other places but I told him no and he respects my wishes."
With that said she stood up and started walking away.
It took every bit of will power I had to force down my anger when I said in a low, deadly serious tone to her retreating back, "I don't know what I've done to make you hate me so much Kaelyn, because I love you with all my heart, but I do know that "sexual" things happen in life when sex is the furthest thing from our minds, and no matter what has or hasn't happened physically between you two you are at the very least having and emotional affair which includes emotional intimacy and that injures me almost as much as if you had a one night stand or it was just about casual sex. At this point I'm not sure if I'm even able to forgive you no matter what. But I swear before God Kaelyn, if you share spit with this man one more time, or you let him squeeze just one of your breasts, touch one of your nipples, or even one hair on your pussy you won't have to figure out if you want a divorce or not because I'll decide for you."
I saw her flinch and then she stopped walking and turning back to me with tears in her eyes she said, "I don't hate you Jack. I'm sorry. I just don't know what I feel for you right now. And I told you I won't cheat on you. No sex, no petting, no blow jobs, no hand jobs, no nothing until you and I have figured out where we're going. Okay?"
"No it's not okay Kaelyn." I said calmly. "Damn it! Giving your emotions away to another man is just as bad a form of cheating as having sex with him! What you've done just rips my heart out. Can I forgive you? I honestly don't know. How you could just throw sixteen years of marriage away, along with a husband and two wonderful daughters that love you with all their hearts, because of some infatuation that you have with some Don Juan who's probably only playing you so he can knock off a piece of ass and put another notch in his belt is beyond me."
"He's not that way!" Kaelyn defended him. "I'm not just another piece of ass to him. We understand each other. Do you think this is easy for me! I can't help what I'm feeling."
"Oh come off it Kaelyn." I countered. "You're a smart woman with a college education, just think about it. This story is as old as the first cave man and cave woman. Any guy that's willing to mess around with a married woman is after only one thing, some steady pussy for a while. The fact that that pussy happens to belong to another man only makes the conquest that much better for these kinds of creeps. Think about it Kaelyn."
"You're wrong!" She snapped back and then added, "I can see this is getting us nowhere so what's the use in even talking."
"Just remember what I said Kaelyn, any spit, one tit, one nipple, one pussy hair, and I won't even have to think about your emotional infidelity, because there will be no going back for us."
"And just when did you get to be in charge?!" She demanded.
"When you convinced yourself that an emotional affair isn't really cheating, and you weren't sure if you wanted a divorce or not," I answered and then I added, "Just out of curiosity is lover boy married?"
"Yes ... no, he's separated." She returned.
"Ah, I see, he's so damned in tuned to a woman's needs that he can't even hold his own marriage together." I mocked.
"Screw you!" She snapped and then she hurriedly headed up stairs. A few seconds later I heard the master bedroom door slam shut.
I was pissed. I knew what that guy wanted and I couldn't even imagine as smart as Kaelyn is how she couldn't see it. I mean heck, Kaelyn is a stunning woman. At thirty-six, she keeps herself in good shape. Her breasts weren't heavy, so even after nursing two children, they don't sag, and she has the most magnificent pair of nipples, especially when she's aroused, that I've ever seen. When she is aroused and she removes her bra her nipples appeared so erotically engorged that I just love them, love them in my mouth and loved them in my hands. She's tall at five eight and weighs in at about 120 pounds. She has long, gorgeous legs, a small waist and womanly hips. She trims her pubic hair neatly in order to wear her rather smallish bikini, but being blonde, I would be able to see her thick labia when she slipped off her panties even if she didn't shave. Hell, what's not to want.
Playing a hunch I waited a minute or two and then walking into the kitchen I carefully lifted the telephone handset covering the mouth piece with my right palm and listened.
I heard a man speaking, " ... you probably shouldn't have said anything about me to him right now Kaelyn."
Then Kaelyn's voice, "I had to Mark. Jack's a good man and a good father and I won't sneak around on him. He deserves better than that. I've told you that more than once."
The man's voice again, "I know, but I still think throwing me into the mix was a bad idea, but now that it's done I really don't think you should continue to sleep with him until you've figured out what you're going to do."
Now that really pissed me off. Where the fuck did this guy get off telling my wife she shouldn't sleep with her husband. I almost said something but managed to hold my tongue. At that moment I also decided if Kaelyn complied with this ass-holes wish of not sleeping with me our marriage was over.
Kaelyn said, "Do you really think I shouldn't even sleep in the same bed with him?"
He responded, "I most certainly do. You know yourself that you shouldn't have sex with him under any circumstances. Having sex with him would really be a bad idea right now Kaelyn and if you're both in the same bed together who knows he could force himself on you."
She answered, "Jack wouldn't do that. He would never force himself on me. I know him and if I told him no that would be the end of it. Besides we've been sleeping in the same bed and we haven't had sex in over a month."
Mark: "That doesn't matter. I still don't think sleeping in the same bed with him is a good idea especially now that you've told him about me. I strongly suggest you two sleep separately."
Kaelyn: "You're probably right Mark. You normally are. Okay I'll follow your suggestion. Well, mom should be dropping the girl's off at any moment and I still need to get dinner on the stove so I'd better go. I'll see you tomorrow."
Mark: "See you tomorrow."
Kaelyn: "Okay. Bye." The phone went dead.
Fuck! Was all I could think.
I grabbed another beer and then sat down in the living room.
I heard noises coming from the kitchen so I assumed Kaelyn was fixing dinner, then a few moments later the front door opened and I heard my eldest daughter Kim, who had just turned fifteen, shout out, "Mom, Dad we're home. Grams had something to do so she just dropped us off."
"I'm in the kitchen fixing dinner Kim. Did you and Kathy get all your homework done?" Kaelyn called out from the kitchen.
"Yes." Both Kim and Kathy, who was fourteen, said in unison as they entered the living room heading toward the staircase to their bedrooms.
"Hi dad," Kim said coming over and giving me a kiss on the cheek before making her way toward the stairs.
"Hi dad," Kathy mimicked her sister also kissing me on the cheek before chasing after her older sister.
"Hi girl's," I said. "I love you."
"Love you too dad," they both answered before disappearing upstairs.
It was obvious to me that Kaelyn had not said anything about her epiphany of falling out of love with me and finding her new soul mate to our girls. Well I sure as hell wasn't going to tell them. That would be up to Kaelyn.
Dinner was a glum affair. Kaelyn and I didn't speak to each other at all but I don't think the girl's noticed because they spoke to both of us as if everything were normal.
As I picked at my food I reflected on the past trying to figure out when things started falling apart for us.
For most, attending college is a glimpse at life as a grown-up. You make grown-up friends, discover your independent self, study hard by day, and maybe even attend an occasional party by night. These experiences leave you looking back on your college days with a special fondness. But for some graduates like me, the fondness extends beyond good times and friendship to something much more enduring because that's where I first met Kaelyn.
I first saw Kaelyn when I was a sophomore studying electronics. Jim Shade, a Criminal Justice major, my roommate, fraternity brother, and best friend and I were having lunch at the Main House when I spotted this gorgeous, tall, obviously freshman girl sitting at a table with what had to be her parents across the room. I said to Jim, "I'm going to marry that girl!"
During that same lunch, seeing me watch his daughter, I learned later that Kaelyn's father had told his wife that Kaelyn and I would marry.
I did a little nosing around to learn her name. Soon a date was set up. We hit it off immediately, going to campus events, fraternity parties, playing down at the bridge in the snow, going to the local Pizza parlor, and Fready's pub. We dated steadily until my graduation.
Then we had to part! I had graduated and Kaelyn was still in school. I knew what I wanted so after sending in my resume and setting up an interview I flew to Kaelyn's home town and got a job as an Electronics Engineer at a well known semi-conductor manufacturing company.
She did a little dating while attending college and I did even less. I really missed her while she was away. Fortunately, I managed to visit her a few times. We talked of marriage. Hey, she was now nineteen years old and we loved each other! Wisely her dad said, "Hands off till she graduates college."
We did decide to wait until she earned her diploma and I continued working while she was in school.
After Kaelyn graduated I drove to Kaelyn's parent's house to talk to her father. I was sitting at the kitchen table when her dad came home for lunch and I asked him for Kaelyn's hand in marriage. He leaned over me and with a gleam in his eye and just the hint of a smile on his lips he said, "Take good care of my little girl or I'll tear your head off and feed it to the pigs!"
Three months later Kaelyn and I were married and we moved into our own rented apartment. With her accounting degree in hand Kaelyn took a job at an accounting firm. Aside from some normal newly wed tension between us we did enjoy our first year together, just the two of us. Then it happened. She was expecting! We went to Lamaze classes. We went through the classes and with her strength and determination she gave birth to our first daughter Kimberly. I can't explain how happy I was that day and how proud I was of her. Kaelyn could do anything she put her mind to. A year after that our second daughter Kathy came along and a year later Kaelyn went back to work.
Both of our careers blossomed and three years later we purchased our first home. Kaelyn continued to amaze me with her talents. Our home, at the time, had decor that many would say should be in magazines. Her artistic talents were fantastic. In the meantime she was a wonderful mother and terrific wife. She could juggle her time with ease. We were in love and very happy.
For the next five years we worked and finally we purchased and moved into our two story four bedroom dream home. I was always very proud of how well Kaelyn handled everything. I was also amazed at how she could do all that juggling of her own. She did well at taking care of our two daughters, her career as an accountant, and she was an amazing home maker, and a terrific wife.
So what in the hell happened? I couldn't think of any point in time throughout the past sixteen years or any one thing in our marriage that would cause Kaelyn to fall out of love with me and become so unhappy with our union. I was totally baffled yet I was also determined that if Kaelyn stopped sleeping with me she could damn well have this new love of her life, but I would fight for custody of my two girls during the divorced.
After dinner both girls had gone up to their rooms and while I was cleaning up and washing the dinner dishes Kaelyn came into the kitchen and said, "Jack, I think it would be best if you slept in the guest bedroom for a while."
"Really?" I answered turning away from the sink and looking back at her. "Since you started all this how about you sleep in the guest bedroom and I'll continue to sleep where I always have. How bout that?"
"I..." Kaelyn started to argue and then she said, "Very well if that's the way you want it."
"Bull shit!" I said. "That's not the way I want it! I didn't find somebody else you did! And it'll be a cold day in hell before I let some little prick that's trying to fuck my wife toss me out of my own bed!"
"You only see what you want to see Jack!" Kaelyn snapped back. "That's always been the problem."
"That's not the problem Kaelyn." I answered slowly. "You're the problem. You know what? A marriage is only as strong as the friendship that it encompasses. If you truly relate to your mate as your best friend and that is reciprocated, then the marriage can withstand a lot of pitfalls. I truly believed that you wife, were my best friend, lover, and soul mate, but obviously you don't feel the same way about me so move out of our bedroom, hell move out of our house for all I care, because right now as Clark Gable said, frankly my dear I don't give a damn. But you'd damn well better take some time to talk with Kim and Kathy about what you're doing, and you'd better not make me out to be the bad guy in this or you'll be sorry."
She just looked at me as if I'd grown a second head and then she turned and stormed out. I guess she had assumed I would just accept her physically chaste infidelity as nothing more than what she considered it to be some kind of platonic love or spiritual friendship and that I would just wait around patiently until she decided if she wanted our marriage or not. Apparently even after all our years together she didn't know me quite as well as she thought she did.
About an hour later I was sitting in the living room drinking another beer when Kim and Kathy came down to talk with me.
"What's going on dad?" Kim asked. "Mom just talked to us but she really didn't explain anything."
"I don't know honey," I answered honestly. "But I won't lie to you, and I think you're both old enough to know the truth. All your mother told me was that she wasn't sure if she loved my anymore and that she has found someone else that understands her much better than I do."
"Did you cheat on mom dad?" Kathy asked.
"I would hope you girls knew me better than that." I replied. "I have never cheated on your mother and I never would."
"So do you think mom's cheating on you with this other guy?" Kim questioned.
I paused before speaking, thinking over my answer, "She told me that they haven't done anything together other than a little kissing but it's obvious to me that she's given him her devotion and that hurts me just as much as if they had physical relations. I have a big hole in my heart girls that I may not ever be able to fill in."
"Oh God daddy, I'm so sorry. What's wrong with mom?" Kim said sitting down next to me and hugging me. She was crying.
Kathy, also crying sat down on the arm of the couch and throwing her arm around my neck and through tears she said, "I hate her! How can she do this to us?"
"Hey now, your mother loves you both with all her heart, and no matter what, that will never change. This is between your mother and me and has nothing to do with the two of you directly. Both your mother and I will need all your love, support, and understanding no matter how this turns out. Okay?" I said.
"I don't know dad," Kathy said. "How could she not love you? What's wrong with her? I love you so much, how could she not love you?"
"Dad?" Kim asked rather tentatively. "Do you and mom ... you know, still do it?"
Then it hit me. Kim's question had jogged my memory. Through out the sixteen years of Kaelyn's and my marriage our sex life had always been very enjoyable. Nothing really kinky and mostly a conventional sex life with occasional forays into things that were a little more risqué such as some oral thrown in the mix now and again, and we both seemed very satisfied, that is until about a month ago. Hell, had it been that long since we'd had sex? Yes, it had been that long. I remembered trying to initiate sex on a number of occasions but Kaelyn had complained of being too tired, or not in the mood, or on her period, and such, and being the caring husband I am I had complied with her wishes and hadn't forced the issue. I wondered now if her new found boy friend had even as far back as then told her to stop having sex with me. I felt certain I knew the answer to that question and I became even more angered at the realization.
I hadn't answered Kim's question so she said, "I can see by the look on your face that mom cut you off. Didn't she dad? God how could she do that? I don't care what happens I want to stay with you dad, mom is screwed up."
"Me too dad," Kathy added. "I want to stay with you too. Do you think you and mom will get divorced?"
I threw my arms around both my girls and said, "I honestly don't know what's going to happen. At first it was just your mom telling me she didn't know if she wanted to stay with me or not, but after hearing how strong she feels about this other man I'm not sure I can ever forgive her. I still love your mom as much, if not more, than I did when I first asked her to marry me, but she started this thing with this other man without talking to me, or even telling me there was a problem, or that she was unhappy. How can I forgive that? If I had had a problem I would have talked it over with my best friend, your mother, way before I did anything about it. I don't know girls. I just don't know."
And despite all my resolve not too do so I started crying. That really got the girls going. The both hugged me tightly crying almost uncontrollably. "I hate her. I hate her, I hate her," Kathy repeated over and over again.
"Girls," I said taking control over my emotions. "Talk to your mom. Get her side of the story before you say you hate her. Maybe I've been too insensitive, to uncaring, or I took her too much for granted. I don't know. Perhaps I wasn't as good a husband as I thought I was. Who knows, maybe this whole thing is entirely my fault. Give your mom the benefit of the doubt girls. She loves you both very much."
"Just you saying that proves you're not a fault here dad. And like you said mom should have talked to you before running around on you. No matter what she tells us she should have talked to you first. That's only fair." Kim told me through tears.
"Just talk to her. Okay?" I responded.
"Okay," both of them assured me.
"You know what," I told them. "I think I'll call Gramps and Grams and see if your mother has talked to them at all. Maybe one of them can give me some advice."
"Good idea dad." Kim concurred. "If mom has talked to anybody it would be Grams." Then getting up she said to Kathy, "Come on Kath, let's you and me go talk to mom some more and see if we can figure out what's going on inside that stupid head of hers."
Both of them kissed me again and then they headed upstairs.
Although Gramps and Gram were Kaelyn's parents I loved them as if they were my own parents and I know they felt the same way about me. My parents had died in an auto accident when I was a senior in high school and after marrying their daughter they both treated me as if I was their own flesh and blood. I felt close enough to both of them that there was no hesitation on my part to talk to them candidly about what Kaelyn and I were currently going through.
I picked up the phone and heard lover boy's voice saying, " ... I really hate telling you I told you so, but how often have I told you he doesn't care about you or you're feelings. Just move your stuff into the spare bedroom for now and screw him. If he cared at all he would have been more understanding with what you're going through right now. Come on Kaelyn you know I'm right."
Kaelyn: "I don't know. I guess. I've got to go the girls are here. I think they want to talk. Bye."
Mark: "Okay bye. Hang in there." The phone went dead.
I dialed Kaelyn's parent's number.
"Hello?" Gramps answered after the third ring.
"Hi Rick, its Jack. How are you?" I responded.
"Oh, hi Jack. Just chipper. What's up son?" He asked.
I explained that Kaelyn and I were having some marital problems and asked if his daughter had spoken to him about anything.
"No." He responded. "She hasn't said a word to me about anything. Here let me give the phone to Karen, whenever Kaelyn has a problem she usually talks to her mother about it not me. Hang on son." Then I heard him call out, "Hey honey, it's Jack on the phone. He needs to talk to you."
Then Grams voice, "Hi Jack what can I do for you honey?"
I relayed what Kaelyn had told me about not knowing if she loved me anymore and of her having found some man that understands her and her needs so much better then I did before asking if Kaelyn had talked to her about any problems with our marriage.
"What!" Grams exclaimed sounding shocked. "No honey she hasn't said a thing to me. She's got to be out of her mind. I don't know what bug crawled up my daughter's ass but I'm going to straighten her out you can be sure of that. I'm going to call her right now and find out if she needs a straight jacket or not."
"I'd appreciate it if you gave her a day or two before calling Grams." I said. "Right now she's dealing with Kim and Kathy. I really just called to find out if you knew what in the heck she's thinking."
"I have no idea honey." Grams responded. "What I do know is that you're a fine husband, father, and son-in-law and she's got to be out of her mind."
"Thanks Grams that really means a lot to me. You know how I feel about you and Gramps." I told her sincerely and then I added, "Ah, Grams just in case it crossed your mind I swear to you that I've never once cheated on Kaelyn."
"That was never even a thought honey." Grams assured me. "You're not that kind of man and I know how much you love Kaelyn and the girls. That was never even a consideration."
"Thanks Grams. Be sure to say bye to Gramps for me. Love you both." I said.
"I will honey and we love you too. I'm so sorry about all this and I'll respect you wishes and wait a bit before calling Kaelyn but be assured I will call her." Grams told me.
"I know. Goodnight Grams."
"Goodnight honey and don't worry everything will work out. You'll see." She reassured me before hanging up.
After hanging up the phone I wondered why I had even bothered making that call. The way Kaelyn had blindsided me must have really screwed up my mind. Hadn't I already decided that I had given up on both Kaelyn and my marriage after she told me she wouldn't be sleeping in the same bed with me? Hadn't I told myself that I couldn't forgive her for giving her heart, and at the very least, swapping spit with this Mark ass-hole? What the hell was I doing? What was it that I was trying to accomplish? Move on I told myself. Get over it. Accept it. And then find out who this Mark is and fuck him over good. I thought lots of dark and evil thoughts. Revenge? Murder? Contract Killing? Maybe just a little gentle maiming?
I opened yet another beer and was just walking out of the kitchen when Kathy came in.
"Kim and I talked to mom again." She told me. "I think she was talking to 'him' on the phone and we interrupted her. Mom still didn't tell us much but when we told her what you said about how not to hate her, and how much she loved us, and for us to give her the benefit of the doubt, and how you would have talked to your best friend about how you felt way before looking around for somebody else she started crying. I think that really got to her dad. Kim's still up there with her trying to figure out what's going on. Did Grams say anything?"
I shook my head, "Your mom hasn't said anything to her or Gramps. They're both as confused as we are." I told her.
Then Kathy looked down at her shoes and said, "Ah ... You know dad ... Ah ... this is kind of embarrassing but well Kim and I were talking when we were going up to see mom, and we, well you know how you said mom has ... you know ... cut you off and all ... well see Kim and I are willing too..."
"Whoa honey," I cut her words off knowing what she was offering me. "Don't even go there baby." Then I took her in my arms and hugged her tightly while saying, "That is the most flattering and unselfish offer I could possibly think of. But sweetheart I love you and Kim so very much as my daughter's that it would be impossible for me to get beyond that. You and your sister must really love me an awful lot to be so generous. Thank you for the offer though."
"We do love you daddy. We would do anything for you." Kathy said holding me as well.
"Even that," I smiled while drawing back so I could look into her eyes. "How fortunate am I to have two wonderful daughters like you and Kim. But tell me honey have you or Kim already ... you know have you..."
Now it was Kathy's turn to cut my words off, "No daddy we haven't honest. Only for you would we even consider doing it right now."
I smiled and then I kissed her on the tip of her nose, "I love you. You know that?"
She returned my smile, "I know. I love you too."
"Come on let's go turn on the TV and see what's on." I said and then I added, "Want a beer?"
She laughed, "No, but a nice chilled white wine would be nice."
Now I laughed as I went to the frig and then handed her a cold can of diet Coke.
We snuggled up together on the couch and turned on the TV not really caring what was on. About ten minutes later Kim joined us forcing me and Kathy to scoot over so I would be sandwiched in-between my two daughters.
Leaning forward Kathy said to her sister, "I told dad about our offer to you know ... relieve him, but he flat turned me down."
"I did not flat turn you down." I corrected. "I said I loved you both far too much as daughters to even consider such a thing. But it does my heart good to know you would go even that far for me."
"That far and even farther daddy," Kim said softly. "We love you. You know mom was still crying when I left her. I think she's really mixed up. Do you think you should go up and try to talk to her dad?"
"I doubt very much that that would do any good. Your mother needs to work things out in her own mind right now and like I told you, I'm not sure I can forgive her for what she's already done." I answered thoughtfully.
"Oh dad, come on, if mom does work things out and she decides that she still loves you are you sure you can't forgive her?" Kim asked.
I thought for a few seconds before answering, "Believe it or not, right now my mind is almost as mixed up as your mothers but I honestly have to tell you I don't know if I can get past this or not."
"I asked mom about that guy." Kim commented. "She told me he's someone she works with named Mark Larson and then she tried to tell me how nice he is but before she could I told her he couldn't be very nice if he was trying to take her away from you and that she was being silly by letting him. She just looked at me and told me I was too young to understand. Then she started crying again."
"You should have asked her if he's such a nice guy why she was crying then." Kathy commented.
"Actually I did," Kim responded. "But all she said was that she didn't know, and that she didn't know anything anymore, or something like that. After that I just left and came down here."
We remained snuggled together watching TV in silence for another half-hour or so and finally I said, "School tomorrow girls. Why don't you guys head up to bed and try to get a good night sleep."
"Yeah sure, fat chance of that. Okay goodnight daddy." Kim said kissing me on the cheek and then standing up.
"Goodnight daddy. I love you. Just think about forgiving mom okay?" Kathy asked me after kissing my other cheek and then also getting up.
"I will. Night girls," I said smiling.
They both turned at the foot of the stairs and give me a sad smile before heading up. God how I loved those two sweet angels.
Over the next hour I nursed another beer before finally making my way up to bed. When I got upstairs both of the girl's and the spare bedroom doors were closed. In the master bedroom I noticed a lot of Kaelyn's clothing had been removed from the closet, and a quick peek inside the dresser reviled that most of her under garments, nylons, and bras were also among the missing.
In the master bath while relieving my bladder of the Corona's that I had consumed I noticed that all of Kaelyn's makeup and other miscellaneous female accouterments had also been removed.
Feeling like shit I undressed and then crawled under the covers of a very lonely, very cold bed.