Chapter 1

"Unka Ky! Unka Ky!" My four year old nephew Connor cried as he dashed into the hallway where the wedding party was waiting. Connor was closely followed by his identical twin brother Noah. "Is the wedding gonna start soon?"

I glanced down at my watch. "Not for another twenty minutes." Noah and Connor hadn't been able to pronounce their 'L's' when they started talking three years ago. I've been Unka Ky since then. My brother Andy's sons looked so cute in their tuxedos.

Andy asked, "Do you have the pillows for the ring?" Connor and Noah pulled them from behind their backs and showed them to their father.

Noah asked, "When do you put the ring on it?"

"Just before the wedding starts. Why don't you two go see Mom-Mom? She might need your help." Andy suggested. The twins raced off to find our mother.

My best man and my best friend growing up, Ed Fritz, asked, "Are you ready for this, Kyle?"

Am I ready? I looked down the hallway at my wedding party: Ed Fritz, Jeremy North, Hal Long, my older half-brother Will Henry, and my younger brother Andy. My college friends Christian Hunsecker and Damian Thompson were in the church helping seat my guests. All my closest friends were at my side. I had been preparing for this day for years.

"Yes," I answered. "Everything feels right."

Ed said, "I've lost count how many times you've told me 'This is the girl. This one is for life.' There was Penny in ninth grade, Julie in tenth grade, back to Penny for the rest of high school, in college there was..."

"Enough!" I interrupted. "I have it right finally. Forget all the ones I lost. I found the right girl."

"Kyle's right," Jeremy added. "He's the luckiest guy in the world that she'll have him."

These guys didn't know how lucky I was. My mind started to drift back to four years ago, when I was starting college. I stared out the window into space.

My reverie was interrupted by Will's half-brothers bursting in on us. Ethan and Cody Henry were from Will's dad's third marriage. They were spending the summer in Lancaster County with their grandfather. Ethan and Cody were spending a week with Will and his wife Abby. I insisted the boys had to come to my wedding.

"Did you know the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers just walked in the door?" Ethan asked.

"Of course," I answered. "He's my friend. Zack Hayes and I played together in college."

Cody added, "He came in with his brother. Doesn't his brother play for the Seahawks?"

I confirmed, "Sam does."

At fourteen Ethan and Cody had the Henry build. Tall and thin. They had grown into good looking young men since I saw them four years ago at Will's wedding. Ethan and Cody were fanatic football fans. They were going to be heaven today. I'd invited twenty some teammates from Penn State – current and past players.

Ethan realized who was standing beside me first. He gawked at Jeremy and asked, "Mr. North, can I get your autograph?"

Jeremy chuckled. "Sure thing."

Ethan fumbled in his pockets. "I don't have any paper."

"Don't worry about it, kid," Jeremy explained. "I'm not going anywhere today. See me at the reception. I'll sign whatever you boys have."

"Thanks, Mr. North." Ethan said. Cody echoed his brother.

"You can call me Jeremy." Jeremy added.

Ethan and Cody were still standing there when three more of my friends popped into the hallway. Their eyes bugged out when they saw who my friends were.

Zack Hayes, Aaron Morano and Chip Brinton stepped into the hallway. "The happy day is here," Zack stated. "It's been a long time coming. Good luck, Kyle."

"Thanks, Zack," I answered. We noticed Ethan and Cody standing there, mouths open wide. "Have you met Will's younger brothers?"

"No." I introduced Cody and Ethan to Zack, Aaron and Chip. They were nearly speechless in the presence of real NFL players and a big time college quarterback.

Our circle of friends talked about our experiences in football. Hal looked around the circle. He asked, "Do you realize that between all of us, we've accounted for five high school and college championships?"

The rest of us looked around the circle of friends. He was right. "We've been blessed by football," I said. We were quiet for a few moments. "We've been blessed in life."

"Amen," "Indeed we have," "Yes, you're right," my friends agreed.

"Jeremy, when are you getting married?" I asked.

"Not until next winter," Jeremy answered. "Things are too crazy right now. I want a real honeymoon and time with Kath after we marry."

"I hear you. My honey and I didn't want to wait. Now is the right time for us." I turned to Hal. "What about you?"

Hal laughed. "It will be awhile. Tammy's starting grad school in August. We aren't going to talk about it until after I am sure that I have a job beyond the summer."

I teased Ed. "I assume you're going to be a perpetual bachelor?"

"I'm happy playing the field now," Ed replied. "I'll settle down when I finish college next year. I'm not ready to be tied down yet."

"You say that now," Zack teased. "Wait until the right girl finds you. You aren't going to want to run around every Saturday night anymore. Take it from someone who has been there and done that. I wouldn't trade married life for anything."

I asked, "How is Laurie?"

"The rug rat? She's great. We left her with mom. Mom loves it when we get back home and she gets time with her granddaughter." Zack answered. I knew Zack was teasing when he called his year old daughter a rug rat. Laurie was daddy's little girl. Zack doted on his first child.

I asked Aaron, "How's Tania doing?"

"She's doing well. She complains that she feels like a whale. She's only seven months along. I don't know what she will be like when our son is due." Aaron married his four year girlfriend three years ago when the two of them graduated from college. Aaron added, "You'll see what it is like Kyle someday."

"Yes ... Yes I will," I answered. Zack, Chip and Aaron excused themselves. They went back to their seats. I had ten minutes until the ceremony. My groomsmen left me to my thoughts.

I thought back to that day four years ago when I left home, a callow youth seeking glory on the football field and his place in this world. I lost and found love as I matured. I was fortunate to finally find my life mate. I was fortunate too to have survived four years of craziness in college. I had changed so much since that day I crossed the Susquehanna on the way to Penn State.

The stadium loudspeakers blared, "TOUCHDOWN! Number 87, Freshman Kyle Martin of Paradise, Pennsylvania scores first for Penn State."

The other announcer continued, "This is an auspicious debut for the young man from Lancaster County. This is the first time he has touched the football here at Beaver Stadium."

HONK! HOONNKK! I woke from my daydream. The light was green! I quickly turned left off Park Avenue onto Bigler Road. I snickered to myself as I drove down University Drive. That was a hell of a day dream. Score a touchdown on your first touch of the ball when you start college. Only in my dreams.

I drove two blocks south and turned onto Pollock Road. I pulled my red VW Golf into the assigned parking lot. My directions said I was to report to Pollock Commons to check in and get my room key. I sighed and gathered up my housing information. College was officially starting for me!

I walked across the grass in the commons area. Five of the ten dorms in Pollock Halls faced the grass commons in front of Pollock Commons Center. Pollock was going to be my dining hall, post office, and snack bar for the next year of college.

I walked in the double doors and down the hallway. I passed the post office when I saw a sign on the far wall. It said "Freshmen Arrivals ==>" I followed the sign. I stopped at a door that said "Housing and Residential Life". I went inside.

A young man, maybe in his early twenties said, "Full name please?"

"Kyle David Martin"

He scanned down a list. "407 Hartranft Hall."

I confirmed my room assignment. He handed me the key to my room. "Your roommate, Mr. Hunsecker, has checked in already, Mr. Martin. Did you contact him before you arrived?"

"Yes. Christian and I are friends from back home. We requested that we room together."

"That's good. Check in with your resident assistant when you get to your floor. Mr. Klein is in room 419. It is on the right when you get off the elevator," the man said. He handed me a map and a card. "This is your parking pass. You can park here to unload. You have a half hour to unload. Return your parking pass to me and move your car to the East Parking Deck." He pointed at the parking lot beside the Pollock Library and then to the big parking garage across from East Halls. I knew where it was. I had just passed it on the way in.

I thanked the man and headed back out to my car. I had turned a corner in the hall when I heard a familiar voice. "Kyle!" I looked up. It was Trevor Conwell and his parents.

"Trevor! It's good to see you," I declared. I knew Trevor from my state semi-final playoff game last fall. Trevor's a big guy. He goes 6'-3" and probably 240 pounds. He plays defensive end. I say I knew Trevor from the state semi-final playoff game. Actually my best friend, quarterback Ed Fritz, knew Trevor much more intimately from that game. Trevor had sacked Ed three or four times and had at least a dozen hurries in the game. Of course Trevor's team advanced to the state championship game and we went home.

Trevor introduced me to his parents. Mr. Conwell thanked me for letting Trevor stay at my house last spring when Trevor, my roommate Christian Hunsecker and our friend Chip Brinton had attended the Blue and White football game at the end of Penn State's spring practice. My friend and former high school teammate Zack Hayes invited us to come to a party later that night. Trevor and Chip had gotten a little drunk at the party. I put them up at my house so Chip wouldn't hurt anyone trying to drive from my house in Lancaster County down to Unionville, Chester County.

"Where are you staying?" I asked.

"I'm in Hartranft Hall, room 420," Trevor asked. "How about you?"

"I'm in 407 Hartranft."

"I guess we'll see a lot of each other," Trevor added. We shook hands and headed our separate ways.

I moved my VW down the road to the correct parking lot and headed for Hartranft Hall. Wheeled dollies were in the entranceway near the elevators. I grabbed one and headed back to my car. I loaded it up to overflowing and carefully wheeled it back down the small hill to Hartranft Hall. I took the elevator up to the fourth floor.

I pushed the dolly off the elevator. I was barely out when someone called out. "Kyle. Welcome to Penn State." I looked up. It was Pete Klein, the starting strong side linebacker on the football team.

"You're the resident assistant?" I asked.

"Guilty. The pay is pretty decent and I get a private room," Pete explained. He pointed across the hall. "You're in 407. It's over there." I saw the room number on the door. It was located just to the left of the elevators. "Get your stuff moved in, Kyle. When you're done move your car over to the East Parking Deck. Meet me at my room, 419, at noon. I am going to take all the freshmen over to the dining hall for lunch. We have an orientation after lunch. Any questions?"

I didn't have any. I pushed my dolly over to my new home and tried to unlock the door. "It's open, Kyle," Christian called from inside our room. I pushed the door open. Christian was unloading things from boxes on the floor into one of the two closets in our room. Christian's parents, Randall and Evelyn, were sitting on a bed.

Mr. Hunsecker asked, "Are your parents still downstairs, Kyle?"

"No. I told them I could handle moving into the dorms on my own. They're back home."

"Evelyn wouldn't allow Christian to do that," Mr. Hunsecker explained. "We had to come up and see that Christian is properly settled in." Christian, Mr. and Mrs. Hunsecker helped me move my first load of things into our room. I went downstairs and loaded the dolly with the rest of my possessions. I finished quickly with the Hunseckers' help. All my things were piled on the floor in the middle of the room.

When everything was moved in Christian asked, "Which bed do you want?"

The beds were on the right as you walked in the door to the room. One was along the hallway wall. The other was along the right side wall of our room. One closet was on the left side of the room behind the door. The other closet was along the right wall against the outside wall of our room. Two desks were placed along the left wall between the closet and the outside wall. The room had a large window that looked out onto the grassy commons in the center of eight of the Pollock dorms. We had a small refrigerator and a microwave in the center of the room.

I looked at the two beds. Christian had already put some of his clothes in the closet nearest to the door. I pointed to the bed along the hallway wall and suggested, "Why don't you take that one. I'll take this bed." I pointed at the bed along the side wall.

"That's cool." Christian continued unpacking boxes. Mr. and Mrs. Hunsecker helped Christian.

"I need to put my car in the parking garage. I'll see you in a little while," I said. I took the parking pass back to Pollock Commons and then drove my VW up the road to the East Parking Deck. It took me eight minutes to walk the couple blocks back to my dorm. The campus map I had told me that this was going to be a relatively short walk compared to some walks I was going to take on campus.

Mr. and Mrs. Hunsecker were getting ready to leave when I got back to our room. Mr. Hunsecker said, "I'm so happy you are going to be Christian's roommate, Kyle."

Mrs. Hunsecker added, "Yes, I was concerned about what sort of person Christian was going to associate with. Your being an Eagle Scout makes me comfortable with my boy going out into the world."

"I think Christian and I will be a good match," I answered. "It will be nice to have a friend while I get used to college."

Mrs. Hunsecker hugged Christian. "I love you honey." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. Christian blushed.

"You boys behave yourselves," Mr. Hunsecker added. "Listen to what the coaches tell you to do. Study hard."

"Yes, sir," Christian replied.

"We'll do our best, Mr. Hunsecker," I added.

Christian and I filled the fifteen minutes until lunch time by continuing our unpacking. We headed out to meet Pete Klein at 11:55. Christian and I ran into more players by the elevator. Trevor Conwell introduced us to his roommate, Anthony Kennedy. Tony was a linebacker from Tea Neck, New York. He's a big African-American – maybe an inch shorter than me, but much heavier. It turned out that Damian Thompson was on our floor in room 409. He was rooming with Giancarlo "G. J." DeLuca. G. J. was short – 5'-10". He played cornerback. Shawn Byrd, the cornerback who visited Penn State last fall with Christian and me was rooming with Jason Nicholson.

I was surprised to see Jason here. I asked, "What are you here for? I thought only freshmen had to report today."

"Coach Burton insisted I come," Jason explained. "I'm considered a freshman even though I've been here for a semester." Jason had graduated from his high school in Norfolk, Virginia a semester early. He started classes and practiced with the team last winter.

Pete Klein led us downstairs and across the commons area (he called it the quad) to Pollock Commons Dining Hall. The eight of us followed Pete upstairs. He held his ID card up for the clerk at the door to scan. He handed a piece of paper to the clerk. "These are my charges for the day," he explained. The clerk waved us through.

Pete explained the dining hall operation as we went through the line. They had salads, sandwiches, wraps, pitas and hot entrées. We loaded up our trays and found an empty table. Pete filled lunchtime with a briefing about food services for us for the next few weeks. We would get our meals today and tomorrow before dinner here in this dining hall.

When the rest of the team reported we would eat at the Nittany Lions Training Table, another dining hall in the Pollock Commons. We would eat there until classes started in three weeks. After that we were expected to eat there for our dinners. Breakfast and lunch would be at the regular dining room. The team nutritionist wanted to be able to keep tabs on what we ate to keep us properly prepared for football.

Pete introduced us to Cooper Barnes when he came in leading another group of eight freshmen ball players. Cooper was the starting kicker for the team. He's a tall guy – maybe 6'-1" but skinny. Cooper's body proportions were unusual – he has extremely long legs for his height.

The last RA/team leader brought in six more freshmen a couple minutes later. Pete introduced him as Beaumont Cherry, the only Canadian on the team. Bo was a wide receiver like Christian and me. He was 6'-2" with pale skin and jet black hair. He talked with a slight French accent.

Pete, Bo and Coop took the group of twenty-two freshman across campus to the security office. We spent an hour there while security made up photo ID cards for each of us. They explained that these were our tickets to all university services – dining halls, library services, health care, access to the dorms, everything. We had to wear them on a lanyard around our necks so security could identify us as students at the university.

The three RA's led our group of 22 freshmen back across campus to the Lasch Football Center. We had a 3 o'clock briefing with the coaches. We ended up in the team auditorium. Coach Burton and two other coaches I didn't recognize walked in at exactly 2:55 pm.

Coach Burton started talking immediately. "Welcome to the Pennsylvania State University and the Nittany Lions Football team gentlemen. I am delighted to see all of you here. I've recruited over half of you, met with more and have spoken with all of you since you signed your letters of intent. You are joining the one of the top football teams in one of the most challenging conferences in the nation. Thanks to our winning the national championship last season, we will be the premier game on nearly every team's schedule this season. We have a big target on our backs, gentlemen and I am counting on all of you to help us defend our championship this season. I believe you are up to the task.

"I want to introduce our team coordinators. Almost all of you will be working with one of these two men. On my left is John Schroeder. His name is spelled with an 'OE' but is pronounced as a long 'A'. Coach Schroeder is the offensive coordinator. On my right is Larry Czarwinski, our defensive coordinator. He's usually known as Coach 'C'." Both coaches waved to us while Coach Burton continued talking.

He talked about our schedule for the rest of August. We would have two a day practices with position meetings, film study and learning the playbook to fill in the rest of our time six days a week. We would have Sundays to relax and recover from the week's exertions.

Coach Burton continued his introduction. "The next topic I want to address is personal conduct. Each of you represent the Nittany Lions, your 107 teammates, your coaches, the 85,000 students and faculty at this university and the 800,000 alumni of this university. That is a weighty responsibility. You will be under a magnifying glass for the next four years. Every action you take will reflect on the Lions and our fans.

"Each of you signed a letter of intent last winter. This document is a binding contract between you and the university. It includes a conduct detrimental to the team clause. You void this contract if your conduct harms the team's image or reputation. I expect every team member to conduct himself like the proverbial preacher's wife – totally proper and above board in every way. Improper conduct will bring you suspension from games, suspension for a season, loss of your scholarship or dismissal from the university. I do not expect that I will need to use those discipline measures.

"One important concern I have is drugs. All drugs you use – prescription drugs, over the counter drugs or illegal drugs – must be taken through the team's medical staff. They need to know everything you use. A seemingly harmless over the counter cold remedy could have a NCAA banned substance in it. You put your scholarship, career and your team at risk.

"All of you are eighteen or older. You may legally smoke cigarettes or cigars if you chose. The team does not ban this. I still strongly urge you not to smoke. This habit weakens your stamina. Your job on our team requires you to be in excellent physical condition. Why would you want to do something that will harm your ability to perform on the field? I don't know. You can go to the Ritnour Center if you are a smoker. They have help for students who wish to quit smoking.

"The next topic I want to discuss is alcohol. I know each of you well enough to know none of you is above the legal drinking age. I don't expect to hear about you gentlemen drinking, getting drunk or getting arrested for underage drinking. This would reflect badly on our program. This could be grounds for suspension or dismissal from the team. Does anyone have any questions about the alcohol policy?"

No one spoke up. Trevor, who was sitting beside me, elbowed me and whispered, "Didn't you and I go to a team party last spring where they happily let me drink as much beer as I wanted?"

"Yes. I remember. Did you notice how Coach said he didn't want to hear about it happening instead of he didn't want us drinking."

"Yeah. You're right."

"I'm going to talk with Zack Hayes tomorrow and get the scoop on what we can do," I answered. "I expected I'd be able to have a beer occasionally while I was here."

Coach Burton continued with his talk. "The next topic I want to talk about is sex." Coach was met with a lot of snickers and a few cat calls. A couple guys called out. "Yeah. That's what we want."

Coach Burton paused until the commotion died down a little. "I'm sure none of you would ever engage in pre-marital sex." Coach got some more snickers. "Seriously, you need to be very careful if you choose to engage in sex outside a committed relationship. When the rest of the freshmen class arrives in three weeks you will get a detailed talk about sexually transmitted diseases, sexual harassment and date rape. In the meantime I want each of you to exercise care if you engage in sexual relations. Make damn sure that she really wants to do this. No really does mean no.

"Please use protection if you must engage in this behavior. You can get condoms from the Ritnour Health Center if you don't have any. I recommend that you refrain from sex for the next few weeks. All of you are going to need to focus all your energy and attention on preparing for the coming football season. During the season I want you to refrain from sex the night before the game. Get a good night's sleep so you are ready for peak performance on game day."

I glanced over at Christian on my right. He was blushing. I leaned to him and whispered, "I guess Bev doesn't get any nookie on Friday nights."

Christian's face turned a deeper shade of pink. He whispered back, "No! Certainly not."

Coach Burton continued on. "The last topic I wanted to talk about this afternoon is the team playbook. Each of you will be issued one before you leave today. Study it. The sooner you learn the plays the sooner you have a chance to get on the field and contribute to the team. The playbook is property of the university. You must safe guard it at all times. You are responsible if anything happens to your playbook. God help you if you lose it. It is a confidential document and can't be shared with anyone outside the team.

"You gentlemen have free time this evening to finish getting settled in your rooms. Tomorrow you can relax while the remainder of the team moves in. We have a team dinner at the Training Table at 5:30 followed by a team meeting at 6:30 here. Does anyone have any questions?"

No one did. Coach Schroeder stood and called out, "Offensive players meet with me for your playbooks." Coach Czarwinski called the same thing out for the defensive players. Coach Burton called out, "Mitch, see me. I will get you your playbook." Mitch was easily the shortest guy in the room. He was African-American and couldn't have been more than 5'-10" or 5'-11". I thought to myself – kicker. He has got to be a kicker.

I waited my turn in the crowd of kids standing around Coach Schroeder. One by one he handed huge blue notebooks out to each of us. He recorded the number on the notebook on a sheet of paper as he issued each one to a player. I stepped forward when he called, "Martin." I took my playbook. It had to be 4 or 5 inches thick. It weighed at least twenty pounds.

How in God's name am I going to learn all these plays? Zack had warned me that I was going to work hard, but my God! Was it even possible to learn all of this? Christian seemed as shocked as me at his playbook.

It was after 4 in the afternoon. I followed the other freshmen as we lugged our playbooks back to our dorm. Jason was the only freshman who wasn't bothered by the playbook. That day his six month head start on college seemed like a pretty smart idea.

Christian and I went back to our room, sat back on our beds and started browsing through the playbook. Things were foreign to me from the first page. My high school team numbered the players along the line from left to right. When Drew McCormick ran between our left guard and the center he hit the "23" hole. Penn State numbered the gaps instead. At Penn State it was the 3 hole. Everything was different – the names of the plays, the line calls, the numbering scheme. The only thing that didn't change was the position names of the players; if you didn't include the "hero" who was called a strong safety elsewhere.

Christian asked, "Can you believe this, Kyle?"

"No. It's going to take forever to understand this thing."

Christian and I sat and began our studies. After the initial shock wore off I went to work understanding and memorizing the numbering scheme and nomenclature. I worked on it for about 45 minutes. I was getting hungry.

"Christian, are you ready for dinner?"

"Yes," he sighed. "I need a break from this." He dropped his playbook on his bed with a thud.

"I'll see if Damian, Jay and their roommates want to come too. Why don't you go across the hall and check in with Trevor?" I suggested.

"Sure thing," Christian answered.

I went down the hall two doors and knocked. "Damian, G. J ... Christian and I are going to dinner. Do you want to join us?"

"Sure," "Sounds good," came from their room.

I continued down to the end of the hall to Room 413. "Jay, Shawn – are you guys up for dinner? Some of us are heading over to the dining hall now. They assented enthusiastically. The five of us met Christian, Trevor and Tony at the elevator. I realized we forgot Pete. I knocked at his door. A bunch of us are going to dinner now. Do you want to join us?"

Pete cracked the door open. He was half dressed. He was in his stocking feet in a dress shirt and slacks. An untied tie hung from his neck, his collar turned up. "Sorry guys. Thanks for the invite. My girl and I have a dinner date this evening."

"Your girlfriend is here already? I didn't think students reported for three weeks."

"Brenda is here for summer semester," Pete explained. "I haven't seen her since June. We have a big night planned."

"I understand completely," I replied. "You two have fun tonight."

We took the elevator down to the ground floor and walked over to the dining hall. It was spaghetti night. We filled our trays and found an empty table. Our dinner conversation centered on our new playbook. Everyone was amazed at its size, except Jay. He assured us we would learn it soon enough if we worked on it. He said he was over half way through memorizing the book. The rest of us were shocked. Jay had been studying the playbook for six months. We got to know each other better over dinner. The other guys seemed like they would be good friends.

Some of the guys decided to take a walk around campus after dinner to get their bearings. Christian and I headed back to our room to finish unpacking. I was comfortably settled in by 7:30. I set up my laptop. The directions Pete gave us were easy. I was on-line in five minutes. I composed a quick e-mail to Penny and sent it off so she would know things were going well for me so far.

I went back to studying my playbook. Christian assembled his computer while I was reading. Christian struggled with it for half an hour. He finally asked, "Do you know anything about computers?"

"A little. I'm not the expert in my family, but I can try to help you. What's wrong?"

"I've tried to follow the directions, but I can't get logged onto the network," Christian explained. "It keeps giving me a 'network not found' error."

I went over the directions Pete gave us earlier in the day. I checked all the settings but couldn't find anything wrong. I spent about fifteen minutes and wasn't able to get it working.

Chapter 2 »