Looking Back
Chapter 1: Helen Begins

Caution: This Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, NonConsensual, Reluctant, Drunk/Drugged, Cheating, Humiliation, Swinging, Gang Bang, Group Sex, Interracial,

Desc: Sex Story: Chapter 1: Helen Begins - As a man gets older he thinks of what he missed sexually. His wife's wants no part of his suggested lifestyle. Who wins? This is a darker story than I usually write. There is a warning at the beginning of the story.

I'm a woman in my mid-forties. I've had what would be considered a normal life. I went to a community college and got a degree in secretarial work. I met my husband at the office when he came to check our books. He was an accountant. He wasn't nerdy or anything like that. We hit it off right off the bat.

We started dating and got married two years later. We have a nice house, two newer model cars, and we have two grown kids. Our daughter got married recently and our son is a senior in college.

All in all we've had a good twenty-four years together. We are like most marriages and have our disagreements. We are always able to eventually iron them out. John, my husband, is a pretty smart person. Together we ran a pretty tight ship at home. Our kids have grown up to be responsible adults.

This story is about our sex life. Before I met John I was pretty wild. Having sex was one of the things I did a lot. I guess you can say I was pretty promiscuous. I've had sex with a number of men. I never kept track like guys seem to do. Luckily, most of it was during my late high school and college years.

John knows that I wasn't a virgin when we married but I don't know if he knew how wild I was... A number of times through our marriage John would ask me about my past. I would tell him over and over again that it is what it is, the past. In the last couple of years, John seemed to have changed.

I know a few women that John had dated before we got married. They're not any close friends of ours but throughout our marriage I have found out most of John's past sex life. It was normal, I was told, nothing wild or freaky. As far as I know he didn't have any real fetishes or anything like that. He hasn't really changed in all these years, until lately. He likes oral sex like most guys. During our early years together we did it quite often. He would prefer to receive than give. So, that's the rule I went by. If he gave oral sex, he got oral sex. Now he has to be really horny before going down on me.

He is pretty much like most men I have known. If they know they are going to get some pussy, the foreplay is almost extinct. I do have to say that John usually tries to hold off till I climax. He's one of the few men that I've been with that feels that way.

Our sex life in recent years has been maybe once a month or so. It's normally missionary or he likes to do it doggie style. My favorite was with me on top straddling him but he never cared for that position much. I think he wants to dominate and he can't do that when he's on his back.

Whenever we saw a porno film or a hot movie, John got hot to trot for sex. He'd start asking me about my past. When I didn't tell him anything he told me to make up a story; to fantasize out loud. I started out years ago telling him what a big cock he had and how good it felt. It was a fantasy, because John was hung like most men I've seen. I've seen some smaller cocks and a few really large ones; most seem to be average. I've never been a size person but more toward how well it's being used.

To be honest, if I were to suck a cock, I prefer a skinny one. It's a lot easier on my jaw. If I'm going to put it in my pussy, the fatter the better. Length really doesn't enter the picture with me except for long strokes; less chance of a long dick coming out.

I've had it in my ass twice in my life before being married. I didn't like it. If I were ever to be forced to have anal sex, I would definitely want a small skinny cock.

For fantasies I always give John what he wants. I usually refer to my past for the information needed. John just never knows it. I have probably told him about most of my sexual escapades in my fantasy talk.

Now that I'm older, sex doesn't really mean that much to me. Sure I'll make love to John whenever he wants it. It feels good up to a point. After awhile I just want it to end; especially if I have already climaxed. John's at a point in his life that he just plows away till he cums; there's not a lot of affection which I would prefer.

Throughout my married life I have not had sex with anyone other than John. Many times he has asked me what I thought about this guy or that guy. I believe he has been reading too many stories about guys giving their wives to other men. I saw him on the computer and he asked me to read part of a couple of stories.

"John, you have to understand that most of what you're reading is pure fantasy written by mostly guys and the fantasies they dream up. Most women, especially happily married ones don't want to be gang banged or be someone's slut. I'm not saying that there aren't any women like that, but they sure aren't in the majority and I know I'm not one of them."

I thought I knew John so well, but lately I'm not so sure. We talked or I should say argued a number of times about extramarital sex. He would read stories and it would say how their marriage was saved because the wife went out and got some strange cock. I told him it was pure bullshit. Extramarital sex ruins marriages. I would go through a list of our friends and known acquaintances whose marriages were destroyed due to extramarital affairs.

I honestly didn't know if I was getting through to him, so one time I told him to go out and have his affair and see what it would do to our marriage. To the best of my knowledge he never did it. It still didn't stop him from talking about it.

When we would go to dances he would always watch me. If a guy got fresh with me I would tell John to see how he would react. As long as I stopped the advances he seemed happy about it. He would also talk about it during his lovemaking that night, asking me if I liked it or wished I wasn't married.

I think John was looking for more or different sex due to his age. I could be wrong but it was like he felt he missed something. You know, he went through his sexual age and nothing special happened. Maybe he wanted threesomes or something. Now he was looking back with regret. I'm just guessing here but it is really bothering me. I'm happy with our life. The sex isn't great but as I mentioned earlier, that's fine with me. I would never want an open marriage or a swinging life.

I talked to a lot of my girlfriends and we talked about relationships. A couple of them were divorced and were having affairs with married men. I asked them how they could ruin someone else's marriage like that. I was told that these married men would be in the bars and lounges looking for women. These marriages were already doomed or were open end marriages. The husbands didn't care if their wife had sex with other men; at least that is what I was told. It was still hard for me to believe.

There couldn't be much love if a man wanted to watch his wife being screwed by other men or cheat on his own wife. I thought about John and he never came out and said he wanted to watch me with other men but he seemed to hint about it a lot during our lovemaking. I was beginning to wonder if my John really loved me anymore.

I did a stupid thing. The next time we went out and John had a little too much to drink I pretended I had drunk too much also. I was on the dance floor and I let this stupid guy put his hand on my ass. To be honest, I really didn't like it but I wanted to see what John would do. Since I didn't stop the asshole he raised my skirt and put his hands on my ass.

Still no response from John who I can see was watching the whole scene right in front of him. When the man slid his hand inside my panties I had enough of him and pushed him back away from me. Of course his hands immediately came out of my panties. When I went back to the table, John kind of looked away like nothing had happened. I didn't know what to think about John anymore. He was supposed to be my love and my protector, but most of all my husband. I probably should have said something but I didn't. I didn't want to argue with him right then.

I decided after that to try and be more loving to John. More oral sex or whatever he wanted. We even had anal sex a couple of times. I never did like it but I was doing it for John. It didn't make any sense to me. He was an inch away from a perfectly fine pussy and he chose the asshole. I guess it made him feel like he was more in control or something. It didn't do much for me besides hurt.

I was worried about our marriage and did my best to be a loving wife. I had hoped it would be enough. Of course that was until the Halloween Party that we attended in Atlantic City.

We decided to take a short vacation to Atlantic City, just the two of us. I was hoping maybe we could light a few romantic fires together. We both took a couple of days' vacation and went in October. There would be a lot fewer people there at that time and the weather would be cool. It just so happened that the hotel John picked out was having a Halloween celebration while we were there. It was a hundred dollars a couple with booze and food included. They were to have a band and everything. We decided to attend.

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