A Log Truck Driver In Outer Space
Copyright© 2007 by cmsix
Science Fiction Sex Story: Chapter 30 - Billy Joe Stephens, a real life good ole boy from North East Texas, has an early morning encounter with Space Aliens. Anal probing is not what he is wishing for in this First Contact.
Damn, being King was a worrisome job if you actually intended to do right by your subjects. It sounded great with the nearly unlimited power and all, but there were a lot of hassles involved. I tried to keep track of the first few dozen status updates Johnny provided and then I had to quit. There was no way in hell I could even keep up with the high points.
They'd already saved the lives of thousands by intervening in medical cases that Earth's doctors couldn't handle. The list of prevented automobile accidents worldwide shot up into thousands in just a few hours. Terrorists and common criminals were being plucked up by the tens of thousands.
They'd already confined fifteen thousand members of organized crime from the United States alone and one third of the population of Sicily was currently remanded to custody or scheduled to become our guests as soon as we had space available. This was the first place I'd stubbed my toe.
"Billy Joe, we have run out of room for incarcerations," Johnny told me.
"God, that was quick. Do you have any suggestions?"
"We believe the best solution would be a building on the planet's surface. We estimate ten of the planet pacifiers could construct temporary holding facilities within nine days. We've made temporary plans for your approval."
"Show me what you've got in mind."
Johnny and his buddies were planning on much more comfort for the prisoners than I thought they needed. I didn't mind that they were all getting a private room, since it would keep them from causing trouble. I didn't see any need for an actual bed for each and really, I didn't see the need for halls, stairs, and the like.
Handling the prisoners would be much simpler if we just transported them in and out. At least it seemed that way to me. It got me thinking though. I wasn't sure about the rest of the world, but I knew that US jails and prisons couldn't be maintained without the help of trustees - prisoners that performed the mundane task. Maybe we could eliminate the mundane tasks, or at least cut way back.
"Johnny, why do you need the halls and stairways? Can't the prisoners be transported anywhere they need to be? Would it be too much of a strain on your transporters to do it that way?"
"No. We can easily manufacture dedicated transporters for the job. We thought the subjects would be more comfortable doing it in a way that was more normal to them - at first anyway," he said.
"We are talking about the same type of prisoners aren't we? I assumed that the first roundup was violent or potentially violent individuals."
"Yes. The first are. In fact we have made sure to err on the side of leeway for those that are potentially violent. We have only taken those who have already done violence or those we conclude will commit violence within hours. Others that we expect to commit violent crimes at a later time have merely been marked for continuous tracking and immediate retrieval in the event violence seems imminent," he said.
"Then you are coddling my prisoners. Build the prison without unaided physical access. No halls, no doors, no stairways. I want two different sized cells. Seven by seven for all inmates six foot six or shorter, and eight by eight for all those that are taller than six foot six.
"No permanent beds. Give them a high-density foam pad for sleeping and one blanket. During the day they will roll up and store their pad and cover. Give them a combination toilet and face sink similar to the ones you find in use now in county jails that are reasonably modern. I assume you can provide for the water and sewer without bothering with normal earth type plumbing."
"Yes, plumbing is not an issue. Neither is heating and air conditioning. We have other ways of providing those services. I must point out that opinions on your planet don't consider this type of incarceration to be humane," he said.
"I don't mind that. I don't consider violence against other humans to be humane. Medical attention to the prisoners can be put on the back burner also. I don't want any of them to die if you can keep them from it, but I am not worried about any suffering they may have from pain unless it is severely acute. We will treat them all but only as time can be spared from other activities we might be taking care of.
"I envision a giant cube of cubes for their new home. I do want a desk and computer system for each of them - with educational software to be the main focus. Every one of them should be evaluated to determine their current level of competence and the software should lead them by hand, so to speak, to improve themselves."
"We can do that with no bother, but encouraging them to participate may be problematic."
"I don't think so. They will have to earn entertainment programming by completing educational work. Explain that to them with some type of introductory message. If you encounter problem children who won't work for their entertainment then switch their reward structure to food. Nature will take care of the last of your problems.
"In the event you encounter prisoners who are insane, do your best to alleviate those problems. If it is beyond you we will simply keep them in stasis until I make a decision. Who knows, I might even ask for opinions from others, someday."
"Very well. I'd like to point out that you are making no provisions for exercise or contact with others," he said.
"I knew that. We are building a prison, not a summer camp. Is any notice being taken over the things we're doing by those not directly involved?"
"There is some disquiet but little official notice. We expect news media attention within twelve hours or less though and we expect nearly half of the population to become aware that something unprecedented is going on within thirty-six hours," he said.
"That's acceptable. I'll probably make the happy announcement in a couple of days. You can commandeer all communications media at will can't you?"
"Of course. That will not be a problem."
"Good, then please begin construction of our new facility," I said.
"Where shall we put it?"
"Find ten vacant square miles in Nebraska or Kansas. We'll compensate the current owners later. See if you can locate an acceptable tract on farmland owned by a large agriculture company. Only take land from resident civilians as a last resort," I said.
"Very well. What capacity should we build for?"
"I want a room available for every person on Earth. I don't expect to need them all but I want it known that we can lock them all up if we need to. I think it will help focus their attention."
"Billy Joe! You can't lock up everybody on Earth," Karen said.
"Yes I can, but I'm not going to. Even if I have to for a while, I'll let most of them out before long. Actually I don't think it will come to that but it's a nice option to have. People can be such assholes sometimes."
All my Queens looked at me as if I'd finally gone around the bend. I didn't blame them after a few seconds and it made me think I might have succumbed to the absolute power syndrome. Thankfully I was able to convince myself that I hadn't.
My next job was self-imposed. What in the hell was I going to tell the world when I announced that I'd taken the place over. Stopping all stock markets and options trading would have to come first of course. If the markets went to shit it would cause normal people to go nuts. I wasn't worried about the brokers and traders; I just had to keep the normal people calm. That was going to be one hell of a job.
Just then Johnny let me know he had acquired an interior decorator. He showed me a video of the guy and he was the cutest little thing. I could almost see him stamping his feet when something went wrong. Of course I was being insensitive about his sexual orientation, but I was betting he'd be eating out of my hand minutes after we met.
"Have you contacted him?"
"Yes, we used the telephone. He was a little snippy at first but I explained that we were considering him for a contract to decorate the captain's quarters in Earth's first interstellar space vehicle. I also warned him that it would be top secret and he couldn't mention it to anyone else," Johnny said.
"That sounds great. Has he agreed to come for an interview?"
"Yes, he said he had cleared his schedule and could come anytime today."
"Good, do I have an office anywhere?" I asked, knowing I should have checked for one already.
"Yes, I took the liberty of creating one for you before you came aboard. I have created a large ornate desk and furniture to match since then. There is also furniture for any visitors you may need to meet," he said, and damned if he didn't sound proud of himself.
"Excellent work, Johnny. Put me in it and let me have a look."