What Does It Mean?  - Cover

What Does It Mean?

Copyright© 2007 by Agena

Chapter 2

My days were filled now with waiting for my cell phone to alert me that Grace had driven outside the boundaries I'd established in the computer program. I'd deliberately established the boundaries in the program to put Clara's apartment outside it but most other innocent places inside the boundaries. I figured that Clara would not go to Betty's house but if they were to meet it would be at Clara's apartment. What I couldn't control was if they met elsewhere, but it didn't seem to make sense for them to do that. But then, what makes sense when you're dealing with a cheater.

Occasionally, Betty did drift outside my pre-established boundries, but checking verified they we innocuous excursions to a doctor's appointment, dentist, etc.

Betty was keeping me posted on Grace's activities as far as visits to the psychiatrist were concerned but except for the tracker all I knew was that she went to work at her school every day, where she may have met Clara. However, according to the tracker alert she wasn't going over to Clara's in the evenings. I'd have to see what would happen when she moved into her own place.

About a week and a half after she left home Betty informed me that Grace was moving into a furnished apartment and she would no longer be able to keep me posted on Grace's appointments with the psychiatrist. Now, I was dependent on the tracker to keep me posted.

When Grace moved to the apartment I readjusted the boundaries in the program to include her new domicile, the school and Betty's and the psychiatrist's office. I continued to monitor her. The only thing the tracker wouldn't tell me was if Clara came over to her apartment. However, I didn't think Grace would allow that as I knew what Clara's car looked like and I might see it at her apartment. I did go over some evenings but never saw Clara's car there.

Finally, one evening I received a phone call from Grace.

"Jim, I just wanted you to know that I've had three sessions with the psychiatrist and she would like you to come to my next session, Thursday afternoon, so she can explain some things to you. Can you come?"

"I'll be there Grace. What time and where?"

I knew where it was by means of the tracker, but I wanted to ask so she wouldn't be suspicious that I was following her.

"Its at 4 PM in room 204 in Medical Plaza West on Graves street... Thank you so much for supporting me, honey."

"I want to get this resolved as soon as possible."

I heard her sob then speak, "You don't know how much I've missed you."

"OK, Grace, I'll see you Thursday."


Thursday afternoon I was at the psychiatrists office early and had to sit in the waiting room with Grace for a few minutes. I was hopeful that when we left there we could go home together.

When we finally got into the psychiatrist office she had us sit in an alcove in the corner of her office where there was a couch with an easy chair facing it. She waved us to the couch and took the chair.

The psychiatrist was a pleasant appearing woman about our age with a nice body who introduced herself as Dr. Knowles.

"Jim, I'm glad to finally meet you. As you know, Grace and I have had three sessions now and I think we need to talk about her visits here. First, can you tell me what you expect to get from this? Grace has told me what you've told her, but I'd like to hear it from you."

"You know Grace had an affair with another woman and I can't and won't differentiate between having an affair with a man. I'm not sure she sees this the same way I do, but I look on it as a serious breach of our marriage contract. I want to know if her actions were due to a mental illness or what would cause her to break her wedding vows and if so is there a way to cure it so that she will never be tempted to do it again. I can forgive her transgression and continue our marriage if I felt that I could trust her again."

"I can understand your concern about your marriage and how important trust is to you. However, you must know that psychiatry deals with mental illness and I've determined that Grace is not suffering from a mental illness that requires psychiatric care or that would require a cure. She has normal mental responses and some minor hangups but no illness. I would recommend a psychologist or marriage counselor as your best means of resolving your marital problems."

"All right, she doesn't have a mental illness, but why would she take up a relationship with someone else, especially another woman? Or have I been wrong?" I asked as I turned to face Grace. "Was this your first time with someone else?"

"Oh Jim, there has never been anyone but you and I'm so sorry for my affair with Clara."

I had to believe her. Grace was not someone who could hide her feelings easily, especially under stress.

"I still need to know why."

"Jim, I'm going to ask Grace to tell you something about her past you may not have known. Grace, can you tell Jim what you told me?"

Grace looked at me with apprehension and took a deep breath.

"Jim, I never told you this before, but while I was in college and before I met you I had an affair with another woman. She was my room mate at the time. After I met you I decided that I loved you and wanted a home and a family so I broke off the relationship. Do you remember when you helped me move out of my room in the dorm? That's when I broke it off."

"When I met Clara something just seemed to click in my brain and I was very suseptible when she seduced me. After talking with Dr. Knowles I realize how wrong I was to take up with Clara and how much it has done to hurt you and jeopardize our marriage. I guess I just rationalized to myself that a same-sex affair was okay. Looking back I should have known it wasn't okay when I didn't want to tell you about it and hid it from you."

"Jim, the psychiatrist spoke up,"Psychologically speaking, Grace might have felt she was missing something in her life. When a woman hits forty she has a lot of trouble accepting that her looks may be going to fade and she becomes very susceptible to suggestion and seduction. Also, in our society today there is more acceptance of different life styles that tend to compromise previous taboos related to sexual activities. She just downplayed in her mind the importance of mores regarding her relationship with someone of her own sex and how it related to your marriage. I know that you take your wedding vows very seriously and Grace lost track of that fact and she's having to pay for it. Hopefully, not at the cost of losing her marriage. You know she will never make that mistake again. She is totally focused now on doing everything she can to making it a success.

"I would recommend again," she continued, "that you both see a marriage counselor and get your marriage back on track. You've been married for 23 years and I know that you both have too much invested in each other and your marriage to throw it all away now. Does this address your concerns?"

"I believe I can accept your assessment of the situation, but I gather you think my strict observance of our wedding vows is unique. Is there a reason for that? When we say the words 'forsaking all others', what is unique about that?"

She looked stunned for a moment and was at a loss for words momentarily.

"I'm sorry you got that impression. Fidelity in a marriage is very important and I didn't mean to imply anything when I mentioned your strict interpretation of those words." she apologized.

"Can you provide another interpretation?"

"No, I guess I can't."

"Are you married?"

"Yes, I am and I believe, very happily."

"I notice you don't wear any wedding rings."

"I wear them when I'm not involved professionally with a patient. I don't want them to be a distraction."

I noticed she was slightly flushed and nervous as we talked and acted like someone who had something to hide. I didn't push it further but it indicated to me that some people might take their wedding vows too lightly.

"Thank you doctor. I guess we'll go as I need to go and help Grace pack and move back home." I said as I turned to Grace and gave her a hug. Tears were running down her face as we said our goodbyes.


Grace came back home that evening and after going out to dinner we went back home where I helped her unpack some of her stuff so we could go to bed. I was afraid that I might not be able to perform but sight of her body was all I needed to regain our marital intimacies.

The next morning we had breakfast together before going off to our respective jobs and we smiled and laughed together like newly weds. Still a little shy but as if enjoying a new found relationship. As I picked up my laptop to carry out to my car I thought about the tracker still on Grace's car and decided I would leave it there for awhile in spite of the psychiatrist's professional opinion. However, I would have to reestablish the boundaries and replace the batteries in the tracker. I felt confident I could trust Grace now but we still had to have counseling to finally put the trust issue to bed and it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on things till then.

We did start seeing a marriage counselor and after two months of meetings we were feeling more comfortable together. My tracker surveillance had failed to detect any unusual or suspicious activity on her part and I began to relax. She started go back to see the psychiatrist again on Wednesday evenings since Grace felt she needed some psychotherapy and she felt comfortable with the psychiatrist who had agreed to do more psychotherapy with her even though it wasn't her field... I changed my alert boundaries to account for travel to the psychiatrist's office again.

Grace had told me that she had applied for a transfer to another school in the district for next year and was sure she would get it even though it would be further to drive each day. I felt it would be worth it to keep her away from Clara.

One evening several weeks later Grace had departed for an appointment with Dr. Knowles and I was sitting at my desk working with my laptop on and the surveillance program running. I was always fascinated by the technology that allowed me to track her car. Grace was taking evening appointments at the psychiatrist's office on Wednesdays now so she wouldn't have to leave her job early. I noticed that she arrived at the office for her appointment and a short time later her car left the parking lot and moved up the street two blocks and parked again. I tried to remember what was up the street such as a restaurant or something that would account for this movement but all I could recall was that there was a motel at or near that address. It was within my preselected cell phonealert boundaries so if she had been going there before I wouldn't have been alerted... I went to the phone book and confirmed that the address was for a Best Western motel at that site.

I was stunned. What the hell is she doing there?

Realizing that I needed more information I went out, got in my car and headed to the motel. When I got there I confirmed that her car was indeed parked at the motel. Tears came to my eyes as I sat and waited for her to come back. It was an hour and a half later that I saw her and the psychiatrist emerge from a first floor room near her car and leave. During the time I'd waited my rage had grown and my thoughts had turned to revenge. If I confronted them now I would have to forego any thought of a satisfying retaliation. As soon as they left I went into the motel office and found the night clerk. He looked as though he would be agreeable to a little extra remuneration when I accosted him.

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