Chapter 1

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Fa/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Reluctant, Mind Control, Lesbian, Humor, DomSub, Humiliation, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Doctor/Nurse, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: Chapter 1 - A private secluded Nude Day for two. What could possibly go wrong?


"And I'm horny!" says my lovely significant other as she loosens her firm grip on my manhood. Normally, hearing this sweet GILF (that's a second generation MILF) whisper something like that in my ear would bring a prompt response from me, but today has been a trying day, to say the least. We are sitting in the hot tub on our back deck, overlooking the scene of the crime. The almost full moon above the mountains in the distance is painting contrasting shadows over the deck. Laura has just returned from a quick reconnaissance of the main house and a peek at the security cameras. She dropped her lithe naked body back in the tub with a generous splash and has given me an update as to where everyone is and what they are doing. It sounds like we might have a little happy time to ourselves, but, the way the day has gone thus far, I am half expecting a Navy Seal Team to rappel down ropes into the pond from a hovering chopper and assault the utility building.

But, this is actually almost the end of the story and I really do need to start the narrative at the beginning. Today is Saturday, July 14th, and, for some reason, Laura had decided a week ago that we were going to celebrate Nude Day today. Like most captive males, I have learned long ago not to question my mate's declarations when they were made in "that" tone of voice and, besides, I thought at the time, "what could possibly go wrong?" We live on a secluded piece of country property that is very private, so I thought that we could enjoy a quiet day together without clothes. Little did I know!

Laura and I - oh, by the way, I'm Jack H. - met at an AA meeting in town a little over six years ago when she moved to southern Appalachia to be with her eldest daughter and first grandchild. She was at the Monday night open meeting of my home group to check out the situation for this same daughter. What she saw in me, I'll never know. I'm a rather nondescript guy, fifteen pounds overweight on what was once a six foot frame, but now is probably barely 5' 11", approaching 60 years old way too fast, gray haired, and somehow all the extra poundage seems to have settled to my waistline. What used to fit into a 28" waist size, now takes a crowbar to cram into a size 34.

My ex divorced me while I was in rehab and I had carefully avoided the fairer sex for most of my time in sobriety. So when Laura deftly cut me out of the herd and laid claim to my soul, I was shocked, amazed and mystified. I must admit that I didn't put up much of a struggle. Since then, I have earnestly proposed marriage on a number of occasions, but she doesn't want to chance ruining a good thing, and I'm willing to settle for joint custody.

She is a wonderful example of what a mature woman can be with a little effort, great genes and proper planning. She is tall at 5'7" and I won't risk physical disfigurement by revealing her actual weight, other than to say that it's less than 150 lbs., or, at least, that's what she tells me. There is just a hint of lines at the corners of her wide set icy blue eyes and around her charming smile. Her hair is short and naturally curly, I think, but only her hairdresser knows for sure. It's currently blonde, but that is subject to change without notice. Old photos of her display a variety of hairstyles and colors and she carefully removes any other body hair, so there's nothing to compare. If you look closely, her body shows the toll that the years and gravity have taken on her figure. There is a gentle outward curve to her belly, and a delicate web of stretch marks around it, a slight droop to her delicate breasts, and her hips are certainly a little heavier and wider than what her college pictures show, so that's why I don't look too closely. She'll never see her fiftieth birthday again, but somehow I seem to add years to my age more frequently than she does.

Laura was married to an abusive drunk who fathered her two daughters. He managed to end their suffering by wrapping his car and himself around a tree at a high rate of speed. Her younger daughter had still been in high school at the time, so Laura took over what was left of the family business and put it back on its feet through sheer guts and determination. After she put both girls through college and got them married off, she sold the business for a tidy sum and moved here. When she decided that we were going to be a happy couple, I sold my house in town and we bought a piece of property on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. The closest neighbors, who you will get to meet shortly, live three miles down the road in the valley.

The property we purchased included an old, one story house that we fixed up and lived in while we built the main house. It boasts two small bedrooms, a simple bath and a large open space that serves as living room, dining room, and kitchen. Out behind the house is a small tobacco curing barn that became the garage and utility shed. I added a covered extension down the side of the back of the barn that now serves as a parking area for guests and our small fleet of ATVs and electric carts. When we were laying out the main house, we realized that there wasn't enough level ground to both build the house and to provide room to turn a car around, so we simply trucked in topsoil and covered the gravel construction access drive with earth and sod after the house was finished.

The carts and all the ATVs, except one, have wide, flat, low-pressure tires, so the grassy route between the houses looks more like an extension of the lawn than a thoroughfare. It's only 150 yards or so on a slight upgrade and around the side of the hill, so we often just park in the barn and walk. But when we have groceries or guests to haul, we have what I call "the golf carts" and, if we're just feeling lazy or in a hurry, the ATVs can get us up the hill quickly. I have chased Laura's lovely ass up that hill on every form of transport available at various times when she's been in a frisky mood. Being the gentleman that I am, I always let her win the race, knowing that I can corner her in one of the bedrooms and ravish her properly.

The main house is two full stories plus a third floor master bedroom suite. We have two guest bedrooms and a bath in the west wing of the ground floor, the kitchen in the center under the master bedroom, and a large open living room and dining area in the east wing. The basement has the office, the mini-gym, and the laundry/half-bath under the guest bedrooms, a large, open recreation room in the center, and our one excessive indulgence in the back corner of the east wing. That extravagance is a home theater with a large screen high resolution monitor, plush rocking armchairs and a superb sound system. The room is well sound proofed, so we can enjoy ourselves whether we're watching sports on TV, a movie, or a hard-core DVD.

The hillside that we built the house on slopes from north to south, so the basement recreation room opens onto the ground floor deck while the main foyer on the northern side of the second floor is at ground level. The southern exposure is mostly glass and provides a panoramic view of the mountains in the distance and the valley below as well as ample sunshine in the winter. Large solar panels mounted on the roof provide a slight surplus of power so, if we're careful about our usage, the monthly electric bill from the local utility is minimal. We have a small bank of lithium-ion batteries and a little gasoline generator to provide backup power for my servers and for when a tree limb comes down on the overhead lines somewhere.

Our water comes from the spring just up the hill that keeps the swimming pond clear and cool. I had an existing small pool enlarged to the size of an Olympic swimming pool and lined with neoprene. The pond isn't more than eight feet deep at the deepest and an assortment of floats get used regularly. The end of the pond nearest the house and deck has a sand beach that was trucked in, so it is quite pleasant to lie out in the sun most of the year. This secluded hide-away seemed ideal for a leisurely day of private nude relaxation. I wasn't in the least bit worried. I had even arranged a little surprise for my lover.


I'm always slightly amazed when I wake up curled up next to him in our king size bed. I love to watch him while he's in the last minutes of sleep in the morning. He seems so peaceful and content that I have to pinch myself to make sure that I'm not still dreaming. Jack hasn't had an easy life and now he seems to be so happy that my heart wants to jump out of my chest. He has been so good to me in the years that we've been together and I now have everything that I could have ever wished for.

He is stretched out on his back which means he was probably snoring loudly enough to raise the dead at some point during the night. The sounds of the morning invade my senses as I carefully remove my earplugs and put them away on the headboard where they live during the day. Small compromises allow us to share ourselves and our worlds in harmony. The birds are chattering loudly just outside in the sunlight that is pouring through the glass wall of the bedroom. It looks like our nude adventure day is turning out to be everything the weatherman promised: sunny, clear and moderate temperatures.

I slip out of bed without disturbing my man and pad quietly into the master bath to relieve myself. We both sleep in the nude, so we're already set for the day. After I slip back into the bedroom, I carefully collect the clothes that Jack was wearing the previous evening and stuff them into the closet. He is such a meticulously habitual man! I could predict his every movement if necessary. He always arises after our morning lovemaking, freshens up in the bathroom, and then puts on the underwear, socks, pants, shirt and shoes that he had laid out for himself the night before. I can tell you which pocket his car keys are in and which one his wallet is in. His pocket change and his AA chip are always in his right front pants pocket and his pocket knife is in the left front. Always! The man is so predictable and that's one of the things that I adore about him.

I manage to ease back into bed without awakening him and survey the scene. A handsome, naked man with the beginnings of a morning erection showing through the sheet is enough to get my juices started. Sliding my hand gently down his chest, I manage to slip the sheet down his wonderful body until I can rest my palm on the inside of his thigh just below his balls. I can hear his breathing become a little quicker and I can feel that I don't have much longer to play with him before he is awake. My nipples are already beginning to report for duty in anticipation of the pleasures we'll soon share. The delightful tension makes me warm and soft inside. I carefully cup his ball sack in my hand and lower my lips to the head of his circumcised penis. I pause to enjoy the manly aroma of his genitals. God, I love this man!

My tongue sneaks out from between my lips and I gently lick the crown of his manhood. His cock begins to stiffen further as his breathing becomes deeper and more regular. Though I can't see, I'm sure that he is awake now and looking down at me with those deep blue eyes. He is certain to be thanking God for another day, because that is what he always does first thing in the morning. But, that doesn't stop me from sliding his gorgeous cock further into my mouth as it reaches its fully erect seven inch length. Not too big and not too thick, it is just the right size for me. This cock has been the source of so many orgasms that I've lost count. I know he is awake when his hand gently strokes down my spine from the back of my neck towards my ass. He loves to fondle my ass and I never complain when he does. It's always the first place his hands search out whenever we have the least bit of privacy, and I mean the least bit! He is so predictable! Just as I get my mouth as far down his love tool as I can handle, my damn cell phone rings.

SHIT! Who could be calling at this hour? I roll over and grab the obnoxious device and glance at the caller ID. It's my dear eldest daughter, Post-partum Annie. What the hell does she need? Oh my God, maybe something has happened to the baby! Smiling at Jack, I whisper, "Its Annie. I'd better answer it."


I think, "One of these days, I'm gonna strangle that Son of a Bitch!" as my husband and the father of my children slips out the door with a wave of his hand and a sheepish grin on his face. "How can he abandon me at a time like this?" is my next thought. The tears start flowing down my cheeks. I'm left with a six year old daughter, twin five year old nephews, and a new-born to care for and the bastard promised to stay home this Saturday and help. My heart is racing and I really don't know how much more of this that I can stand! Ever since the baby was born, I've been on the verge of absolute despair. And now, with my sister Deni out of town and her boys to mind as well, I'm gonna lose it. I just know it! "Come on, Mom, please answer the phone. PLEASE!" I beg silently to myself.

Finally the phone on the other end stops ringing and the familiar voice says, "Hello, sweetheart. What's up?"

"Oh, Mom! I need your help! George just ran off to work and I've got all the kids to care for." Panic starts to creep into my voice and I know that I sound shrill. "The bastard promised to help with the kids today, but as soon as his boss calls, he bugs out! I don't know what to do!"

"Well, honey, you can bring the kids out here, if you want. But, today we're celebrating Nude Day, so we plan on going naked all day," says the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Oh, Mom! I can't do that! My body is so fat and ugly right now, I couldn't possibly do that!" I croak.

"Why not, honey? It'll just be us here. And I'm sure the kids wouldn't mind skinny dipping in the pond."

"Are you sure, Mom?"

"Of course, dear. We haven't invited anyone else over. We had planned on a quiet day by ourselves, but we'd love to see you and the grandkids."

"Ok, Mom, I'll call you when I'm on the road. Thanks. You're a lifesaver."


I reach over as she slams the phone closed and gently put my fingers under her chin. Without saying a word, I lean toward her and our lips brush together. My cock had started to lose its hardness when the phone rang and, by now, was drooping.

"Would you like me to fix you some breakfast, my dear?"

Her face brightens and she replies, "You don't mind, do you?"

"Are you referring to fixing breakfast, the mob coming over, or not getting my morning blow job?" I respond and, before she can reply, continue, "No, of course I don't mind. I'll meet you in the kitchen, darling." The smile in her eyes tells me she appreciates my attempt at humor. Before I climb out of bed, I reach over and gently pinch her left nipple, bringing a moan from deep in her throat.

"We'll have ample time together later on. I promise," I say, not realizing what the day has in store for us.

I'm momentarily stunned when I can't find my clothes where I always leave them. Glancing over at Laura, I notice a huge grin on her face. Tossing my pillow at her, I head for the bathroom to empty the bladder and make myself presentable. When I get downstairs to the kitchen, I see my lovely mate's naked body already at the sink.

"Would you like bacon and eggs, cereal or a bagel, dear?" I ask as I sneak over and wrap my arms around her. I bend down and nuzzle the side of her neck as I gently cup a breast in each hand.

"Hmmm," she whispers, "I know what I really want to taste."

"Well, I'm not on the menu," I reply, "and, unfortunately, neither are you. And I'm going to have to be careful today."

"You're right," she replies, feeling my dick start to stiffen against her ass cheeks. "We should have plenty of chances to slip away for some relief during the day."

I asked her again what she would like for breakfast.

"Surprise me," is her reply, little knowing the surprises that are in store for all of us.

I fix a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and juice and as we're finishing up, her cell chimes again.

"Annie?" I ask.

"No, it's Maria."

That's interesting, I think to myself as I clear the breakfast dishes and head for the sink. Maria is our ultra sexy young Puerto Rican housekeeper who thoroughly cleans both the houses for us on Mondays and Thursdays. I wonder what she might want. She regularly flaunts her generous boobs while working around the place, her work blouse unbuttoned as far as she dares. It would be too much to ask for to have Maria working around the house in her birthday suit.

Sweet Jesus!

Just the thought of her undressed is enough to give my dick a rise. I suspect that I may have to make a few trips to the pond to cool off today. Maybe I'll have a quick dip before the kids get here, I consider, as I finish the dishes and wipe down the counter. While I'm gazing out the window, deep in thoughts of smooth, young, dark brown Puerto Rican skin, my sweetheart sneaks up behind me, reaches around my waist and eases one hand around my dick and the other around my balls.

"Maria needs to take Monday off to pick up her sister at the airport," she says in a throaty voice. I'm instantly half erect. By the time she finishes saying, "I hope you don't mind if she comes by to clean the houses today, and, yes, I did tell her about Nude Day," I was hard as a rock.

"Today could turn out to be a difficult day for this old man," I think to myself. Aloud I announce, "I'm going to go take a swim."


By the time I get all the kids and their things loaded in the van in the driveway, I can't see through the tears pouring down my face. I've already yelled at Ashleigh to where she is sobbing and I don't know how I'm going to be able to drive. The baby is screaming, even though I just changed him and he's been fed. Everything is going horribly wrong and I just can't cope. I almost jump out of my skin when an arm slides around my shoulders. Spinning around, I see that it belongs to my neighbor, Julie.

"Are you OK?" she asks in genuine concern.

"NO!" I scream and then collapse into her arms. "I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't cope!" I sob between the tears.

"Here, let me help you. I know how hard it is right after you've had a baby," Julie says in a soothing voice. "Just sit down and breathe deeply."

Julie fishes baby John out of his carrier and holds him to her shoulder. The tiny traitor immediately stops crying and snuggles into her neck. Julie chats easily with Ash and pretty soon has her and the twins laughing at her simple jokes. The deep breathing seems to help. I'm starting to calm down and my eyes aren't as full.

"Thank you, Julie. You don't know how much I needed that. You're a real friend. Would you stick around for a few minutes while I call Mom? I promised that I'd call her when we were on our way."

"Oh, you're going up to the mountains?" she asks.

"Yes, George went in to work on his day off and left me alone. He promised to help me take care of the kids today and then he just abandoned me!" I croak as the tears began to flow in earnest again.

"Easy there, dear. It'll be OK," she soothes. Baby John is already asleep in her arms. "Call your Mom."

The phone only rings a couple times before she answers with her usual, "Hello, sweetheart. What's up?"

"Hi, Mom. I've got the kids in the van and we're almost ready to leave. Do you need me to stop and pick up anything on the way?" I volunteer, but I'm relieved when she insists that she has everything she needs. I know I couldn't handle a stop along the way. Not one where I would have to get all the kids out of the van and take them into a store somewhere. My nerves are almost completely wrecked. What is wrong? I wasn't anything like this after Ash was born. I think I'm going insane.

"We'll be there shortly," I say and am relieved when Mom says goodbye and the call ends. Julie has tucked John back into his carrier and I give her a huge hug when she steps away from the van.

"Have fun today," she whispers in my ear. I'm still really apprehensive but I don't really have anywhere else to go. Julie works from her home and I can't impose upon her for any of her valuable time. And I'm sure not going to tell her that I'm scared to death to go to Grandma's and spend the day with no clothes on. God, I would absolutely die if anybody else were to find out. Little did I know what was in store for us today!


Laura's lovely naked body is standing on the beach as I finish my eighth lap of the little pond. The sun is well above her left shoulder and her silhouette is very pleasing to my eye. I pull myself up out of the water on the ladder of the little dock that juts out into the pond. I'm pleased to note that I'm all shriveled up and not likely to embarrass myself.

"Annie called," she says, "they should be here in fifteen or twenty minutes."

"I guess we both had better wander down to the old place to collect them," I say, saving her the necessity of asking or ordering me to come along with her. Her smile is my reward for having made her life easier once again. Now, don't get me wrong; I don't understand women any better than I understand God, but I've been around long enough to know a leading statement or question when I hear one. And I love the woman more than anything and enjoy the rewards I reap from keeping that love obvious.

"Do we need to take anything down with us?"

"I can't think of anything. The carts are down there, so we should be able to walk," is her reply. She holds out her hand as I come off the dock and I take it in mine. Twisting it gently around her back, I pin her to my chest and kiss her luscious lips hungrily. My other hand wraps around her waist and drops down to fondle her ass. The lady puts up no struggle and just melts into my arms, her tongue slipping between my lips and dueling with mine.

"We may just have to celebrate like this more often," I remark as we break our kiss.

"We really should get moving before you need to take another swim, honey," she says softly.

"Yes, dear."

We stroll leisurely across the deck and around the side of the house to the grassy lane that leads down to the old house. Fortunately there are enough trees and plenty of undergrowth on either side of the place to screen us from the road. Besides, we will be able to hear an approaching vehicle long before it is right at the driveway that cuts between the foliage and curves around the house to the barn. There is little chance of our being spotted walking through the shadows holding hands. We could probably pass for teenage lovers from a distance. Well, maybe if the viewer's eyesight was really poor. At that moment, we don't have a care in the world.

I punch the combination to unlock the house into the keypad at the back door and we step inside. After checking around to make sure that all is in order, we wind up back in the middle of the kitchen wrapped up in another lip lock. I am going down for the third time when the security system lets out the little beep that signals that a vehicle has come into the driveway.

"That must be Annie and the kids," she bubbles and whips out of my grasp to peer out the window.

"That's not Annie's van!" she exclaims. "What is a florist van doing here, I wonder?"

Oh, crap! The delivery wasn't supposed to happen until after lunch. I try to look as innocent as I can.

The van pulls up to the front of the house and the driver pulls a long box out of the truck. He walks up to the door, opens the screen and knocks firmly.

"Who's there?" asks Laura.

"Delivery for Laura Martin," is the reply.

"Please leave it on the porch," she stammers.

"I need a signature."

Laura looks at me while I'm examining a nonexistent speck on the ceiling. Steeling up her courage, she opens the front door and reaches out to take the clipboard the delivery man is holding. She calmly signs the delivery receipt and hands it back to him. It isn't until he hands her the florist box that his jaw visibly drops and he gasps, "You not wearing any clothes!"

"Thank you," she replies as she closes the door. Turning around and boring holes through my body with her eyes, she calmly asks, "Now, who could have sent these?" Putting the box down on the kitchen counter and opening it carefully, she pulls out the large arrangement of cut flowers.

"There's no card," she notices, holding the flowers to her chest.

"You really shouldn't have," she whispers as she puts her arm around my neck. Kissing me gently, she adds, "They're lovely. Thank you very much."


"I can't believe that he did that," is my first thought followed closely by, "I can't believe I did that!"

I just stood in an open doorway in front of a complete stranger in my birthday suit! Somehow I'm shocked that I didn't feel any more embarrassed. I boldly stood there as if it was completely natural! I don't even think I blushed.

"Did you see the look on his face?" I ask Jack.

The next thing I know we are both dissolving in gales of laughter. Thankfully, the pretty bouquet of flowers is on the kitchen table, because the next thing I know, we are sprawled on the sofa howling like banshees. I'm laughing harder than I have in years! As our mad laughter begins to die from lack of breath, the arriving vehicle beep sounds again. Gasping for breath, I say, "Now who could that be?"

"Probably Jehovah's Witnesses," he jokes.

"Oh, Lord, no! That's all we need," I say, straightening up enough to peer through the side window and see Annie's van pull around the back.

"It's the grandkids!"

We hustle out the back door just in time to see the van back into one of the covered guest spots. Annie climbs out of the driver's door and I embrace her in a long and tearful hug.


I slide open the side door and extricate the kids, one by one, from their car seats. "Hi, Papaw," greets Ashleigh, melting my heart. She is the cutest little girl that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, but I may have to admit a little bias. She's so much like her mother and Laura that it's impossible not to notice. Curly light brown hair frames her round face and the wide set big blue eyes could tame any man. Her innocence is so genuine that I just want to hug her forever once I lift her out of the van.

"You're not wearing any clothes, Papaw," she says to break my reverie.

"You're right, sweetheart. We're all going to enjoy a day without clothes," I respond with a chuckle as I ease her down to her feet. "Now, you run on into the little house and get undressed."

"Oh, goody!" she squeals and dashes off toward the back door. Telling Ashleigh to take her clothes off is like telling a child they can have free run of a candy store. When she was a toddler, she could pull her outfits off almost as fast as her parents could put them on. Definitely a free spirit.

"Hi, Papaw," chime Harry and Gerry as I unbuckle them from their safety confinements. Neither needs any assistance in clambering out of the van. Again, the family resemblance is unmistakable. They too dash off in a flurry of youthful exuberance to follow their cousin.

I see that Laura has baby John cradled in her arms, so I take the opportunity to hug my almost step-daughter. Annie is an almost exact copy of her mother. Maybe an inch taller, she has the same slender frame, pretty round face with blue eyes and a head of curly hair that is red this week and pulled back carelessly into a stubby ponytail. Red looks good on her, but, her face is puffy and her eyes are bloodshot from her crying. There are bags under her eyes and she looks unkempt and disheveled. Her normally slender body is overloaded with the weight she gained during her recent pregnancy and even the loose maternity gown she's wearing cannot hide the rolls of fat around her waist and hips. Her normally petite breasts are almost twice their size due to breastfeeding. Pretty much what I would expect a new mother to look like. Poor girl. What women are willing to endure to continue the species always amazes me.

"We'd better get inside before the little darlings have time to destroy the house," I caution, and we head for the back door.


Seeing my daughter looking like she does makes my heart sink. She isn't making any attempt to care for herself and I think the post-partum depression is tearing her apart. Remembering back to when her younger sister was born, I can remember how overwhelmed I felt with too many cares and not enough support. But, Annie has lots of friends and family to help. My fear is that she is isolating herself from her support group and that her self-esteem is really low.

"I'm going to have to talk with her doctor," I vow to myself.

But, holding a two week old grandchild in my arms is the most wonderful feeling in the world. The baby is so cute. What a joy to behold. My emotions are riding a roller coaster right now, going from extreme worry to giddy joy. Jack starts pushing us toward the house. Oh, well, back to reality.

Walking in the back door, we're greeted with a hallway strewn with children's clothing. Stepping carefully around the mess, we make it to the living room to find three cherubic youngsters perched on the sofa with Ash in the middle holding one of the coffee table books. They are quietly engrossed in looking at pictures of kittens.

"Kids!" I say, demanding their attention. "Pick up your clothes out of the hall and put them neatly on the bed in the blue bedroom."

The kids jump up, dumping the book on the floor, and scurry to retrieve the hallway mess. I know that their idea of "neatly" putting the clothes on the bed will be a single wadded up pile, but I'm not going to let that bother me. I just want to delight in the pleasure of having my family surrounding me.

Annie has discovered the flowers on the kitchen table and is pestering Jack for the story of how they got to be there. He is still feigning innocent ignorance, so I tell her the tale of the floral.

"You didn't, Mom!" exclaims Annie with a look of shock on her face. "How could you do that?"

"I really don't know, dear," I try to explain. My feelings still aren't clear. "It just happened and somehow it felt like the right thing to do. Don't ask me to explain it, because I can't right now."

The kids return from messing up the bed in the blue bedroom and dear sweet little Ashleigh pipes up, "Mom, why are you the only one here with clothes on?" The look of terror in Annie's eyes startles me. But, before she can think of a response, the now familiar beep signals the arrival of another vehicle in the drive. The look on Annie's face turns to absolute panic.

"Oh, relax, honey," I say gently, "That's only Maria. She's coming by today to do the housecleaning so that she can pick up her sister at the airport on Monday. Nothing to worry about."

Annie starts breathing again. But, it isn't Maria.


Glancing through the window, I think that I recognize the dusty pickup that just pulled into the driveway and comes to a stop in front of the house. After a moment of thought, it comes to me.

"Neighbors," I announce, as a roly-poly, middle aged couple climb out of the truck and head for the front door.

"Your turn," says Laura with a wicked grin on her face.

I start to mumble an excuse when the memory of her courage during the flower delivery flashes through my mind. Hell, if she can handle it, so can I. So, when the timid tap, tap, tap on the screen door pierces the dead silence in the room, I step forward and open the door. Standing on the porch are a short, heavy-set pair of individuals, with the, I assume, husband standing almost directly behind the wife. Both are smiling and the woman is the first to speak.

"Hello. We're your neighbors down the road. I'm Lucy Walker and this is my husband, Billy," she says, turning slightly to indicate the only other person on the porch.

"We'd like to welcome you to our neck of the woods and invite you to join us for services tomorrow at our church," she says, leaning forward to pull something from the huge purse that she had rested on the bench by the door. It is only then that the realization strikes, her head snaps up and she exclaims, "You're not wearing any clothes!"

I am trying to think of some intelligent response when the sudden thunder of small bare feet pounding on vinyl floor approaches from behind. With a shriek, a small body that is being pursued by two cousins slips by me and slams open the screen door as she attempts to escape. Poor Lucy Walker is in almost the worst possible position at that moment because the edge of the heavy wooden screen door smacks into her upturned forehead. The force of the blow and her natural reaction to the injury cause her to fling herself upright and backwards, directly into Billy. The back of her head catches him directly on his rather large nose and both of them let out simultaneous howls of pain. I'm aghast.

Fortunately, Billy manages to wrap his arms around the rotund body of his injured wife and, although staggered, they manage to remain upright. Blood is starting to flow from the gash in Lucy's forehead and drip down her cheek onto the white blouse that covers her bosom. I notice that Billy is also dripping blood from his nose. Poor Ashleigh is petrified in horror at my feet. I ease the screen door back open and gently push her out of the way.

"Go outside and play," is all I can think of to say as I swing the screen door open wide and reach out to Billy.

"Come in and sit down," I say in my best military command voice and they, of course, have to comply. The twins slip through the doorway out of harm's way as Billy guides Lucy through the door. Annie and Laura are standing in the kitchen in shock. Fortunately, Annie's training comes to the rescue. Handing the baby to Laura, she quickly sizes up the situation and asks, "Do we have gauze, alcohol and tape handy?"

"In the medicine cabinet," Laura mumbles, still in shock, and then adds, "in the first aid kit."

Annie is back in a flash as I help Billy lower Lucy onto one of the kitchen chairs and he sits heavily down on another. Seeing that Billy is bleeding from both nostrils, Annie hands me a packet of gauze and says, "Separate the gauze and roll it up into two tubes. Then gently insert one in each nostril. Make sure he can breathe properly and then get some ice." Turning to Lucy, she quickly examines her vital signs and presses a piece of gauze to the split on her forehead.

"Do you want us to call the rescue squad?"

Lucy looks up from Annie's expert ministrations and asks, "Do you think we need it?"

"I don't think so. It looks like you have a minor head wound that I can close up with a couple of butterfly bandages and your husband looks to have a bloody nose." Annie diagnoses. "But, we can call if you wish. It's up to you."

"No, I think we'll be all right." Lucy says in a gentle tone of voice. "We're farmers and we're used to minor cuts and scrapes. It comes with the territory. You certainly seem to know what you're doing."

"Thank you. I'm an RN. I'm so sorry that my daughter did this to you both. I hope that you'll forgive us," Annie adds as she has Lucy hold the gauze. Annie deftly cuts the surgical tape into a butterfly bandage and sticks it to the edge of the table while she cuts the second bandage. After cleaning the wound with an alcohol soaked pad she carefully presses the edges of the cut on Lucy's forehead together, applies the bandages and looks up at me. I hand her the zipper top baggie of ice cubes that I have wrapped in paper towels to form a makeshift ice pack. Her smile lets me know that I've done something right. She hands it to Lucy and instructs her to hold it against her forehead. I realize that I have not seen her smile since she arrived.

Laura hands the baby back to Annie and bends over Lucy saying, "We better get that pretty blouse off of you and soak it in cold water so the blood doesn't stain it."

That's when it dawns on Lucy that I'm not the only adult in the room that isn't clothed. Maybe that is why she doesn't complain when Laura quickly unbuttons her blouse and pulls it out of her skirt exposing her large and utilitarian white bra. Slipping the blouse off her one arm at a time, Laura continues, "And your bra has blood on it as well. We'll need to soak that too."

Reaching for the fastenings at Lucy's back, she asks, "May I?"

I see Lucy's mouth form the word and hear her say, "Sure," but, I'm not certain that she is aware of the question she is answering or what her answer implies. Her eyes are on the baby, who I think she just now became aware of, and they don't seem to be focused quite right. She has a far away look in her eye and a broad smile on her face.


"Look, Billy! That van just pulled into the old Parker place!" I exclaim to my husband as we speed past the driveway.

"Yeah," he replies, noncommittally.

"Someone must be home. Quick now! Turn around! We've got to go back and meet our new neighbors. We can invite them to come to worship tomorrow at church."

"I've been dying to see what they look like and what they have done to the place," I think to myself. All the months that the construction equipment has been coming and going up there and hardly a sign of what's been done has my curiosity aroused like it's never been before. Here's an opportunity to get to see what they've done to the place. There's almost no visible change from the outside except that now it has the look of a well tended property rather than a run down shack. Fresh paint and a mowed yard can do a lot for a place. But all the delivery trucks that have headed up that way and all the heavy equipment that passed by our front yard couldn't have been just for renovating an old shack. I wonder what they've done up there? Lord knows the place had fallen into disuse for years before the newcomers bought the place. I'd heard from friends that it was now owned by an older couple and they might not be married. He's supposed to be a local boy but she's from out of town. She has family living in the area, though. So many questions.

"Come on, Billy. Turn around," I plead although I realize that there just aren't many places on this narrow country road to safely turn around in, "we're almost home already."

Poor Billy, I think. The dear man has put up with me for all these years. So I add, "Thank you, dear," as he manages to pull into the gate to the upper forty. Backing out carefully, we're on our way back. I'm as anxious as a kid on her way to the county fair with her first home made pie.

I take a minute to think back on my life. Married at eighteen to my childhood sweetheart; three wonderful sons raised and off on their own, although not one of them is married yet. We have a successful farm in a great area and we've got lots of friends and church activities to keep us busy. The Lord has truly blessed us.

Billy pulls into the driveway I point out to him and stops in front of the house. The van must be around back because I don't see it anywhere, but I think I can see movement inside through the windows. We can't let this opportunity pass us by. The Good Lord calls us to spread the word.

We step down out of the truck and climb up the steps to the porch. The porch is clean and everything is freshly painted or polished. The curtains in the windows are bright white and look new. There's a little bench on one side of the door and a wooden rocker on the other side that's been made to look old but isn't. I knock on the door and I'm delighted to see it open. The older gentleman who answers the door doesn't seem to have a shirt on. That's all right, the minister cautioned us to just maintain eye contact whenever that happens. I introduce us and reach for a bible tract to give the man when it dawns on me that he doesn't have any pants on either. Looking up, I exclaim, "You're not wearing any clothes!" Before I can catch my breath, the door flies open and the pain that explodes in my head is excruciating.

The next thing I'm aware of is Billy's arms around me, holding me up while the naked man orders us to come in and sit down. We stumble into what must be the kitchen area and sit down at the table. There's a nice arrangement of flowers lying on the table. They really should get them in some water before they wilt. I'm aware of two other women in the room, and the younger one is tending to my forehead. There is blood all over my good blouse that I just bought with my butter and egg money and the front of Billy's shirt is also covered with blood. The man who answered the door is putting gauze up Billy's nose and the young lady tending me seems to really know what she is doing. This has to be the strangest house call that I've ever been on.

After the young woman patches up my wound and hands me an ice pack to put on my forehead, she steps back and I notice that the older woman is also completely naked. But, strangely, she doesn't seem to be in the least self-conscious about her nudity. This is very strange. When she offers to soak the bloodstains on my blouse, I'm extremely grateful. She pulls my blouse off and then I notice the baby.

The younger lady is wearing a maternity gown! She's holding the cutest little baby in her arms. It can't be more than a couple weeks old. Why can't any of my boys find themselves a good wife and settle down? When the older woman unfastens my bra and starts to remove it, I momentarily freeze. What's happening to me here? Should I resist? I look down and see the bloodstains on the bra cup. She just wants to soak it for me. I realize that I should trust in the Lord and I decide to let it go. Suddenly, my breasts are exposed before others for the first time. I can feel a deep blush spreading over my face. But, the baby is so cute!

"How old is it?" I ask her.

"He was two weeks old yesterday. Would you care to hold him?" she answers.

"May I?" I ask and sit back in the chair. This is the wrong thing to do, because my head is suddenly very light and I feel like I'm falling upward.

"MOM!" she cries and the older lady immediately grabs my shoulders and holds me steady until the feeling passes.

"Thank you." I manage to whisper.

"No sudden movements!" the baby's mother commands. "You haven't lost that much blood, but a head wound can cause dizziness."

"I'm better now. Maybe if I sit on the sofa."

"Would you help her, Dad?" she says and the older man helps me from the chair to the sofa. Sitting down carefully, I'm amazed when I have the newborn on my lap. He takes one look at my face seemingly to reassure himself that I'm OK and then twists his mouth around and tries to suckle my naked breast. I haven't felt this good since Jimmy was tiny.

"Looks like he's hungry," the younger woman laughs and sits down on the sofa next to me. Unfastening the top of her maternity gown and pulling it down, she unsnaps one of the cups on her nursing bra and reaches for her child.

"Let me feed him and then you can burp him, OK?"

She puts the baby up to her breast and he immediately starts to suckle vigorously. "My name is Annie St. James and this is John," she adds, nodding towards the infant.

Billy is mumbling something about how we need to get along home, but there aren't any pressing chores to be done, so I ignore him. The older man steps over to me and hands me back the ice pack to put back on my injury. He introduces himself, "I'm John Horton and the sweet lady at the sink is Laura Martin, Annie's mom." Annie's mom is working on my blouse and bra in the sink and it looks like she's got Billy's shirt and undershirt off him as well. She turns around and says with a smile, "So glad to meet you." Then I hear the oddest beep. Laura spins around and looks out the kitchen window.

"It's Maria," she announces.


"Mah nose hurts," is my main thought. Close behind that is that we really need to get outta this crazy place. These folks gotta be nuts. Running around without the least shred of dignity. Someone's gonna rot in Hades, I'm sure of that. And there's my sweet wife of 23 years, sitting of the sofa playing goo goo eyes with the baby and she's got her titties hanging out for everyone to see.

I look at her again closely. Come to think of it, I've never seen her titties completely bare. She's always had at least her flimsy nightie covering her. What in God's name has come over her? Preacher is gonna be mad at the both of us.

Now, the old gal at the sink isn't really bad looking. Too skinny for my taste; I like 'em with a little more meat on 'em. But she is right well put together and she sure ain't hiding any of it. Now, who am I kidding, I ain't never been with any woman other than Lucy. As a matter of fact, this old gal is the first one I've ever seen without her britches on. This here is a really strange day. I wonder what else can happen.

"It's Maria," the naked gal announces. "Who's Maria?" I wonder.

Next thing I know, the back door flies open and three nekkid kids come running into the room shouting, "Maria's here!" Then this drop dead purty little gal comes striding through the door. She must be Mexican or something, because she's got hair as black as coal and eyes to match. Her skin is a dark caramel brown and not because she's spent a lot of time in the sun.

Now, this little filly is put together the way I like! Short and compact, she's got a tube top straining to cover up the biggest set of knockers that I've ever seen on a human. A nice little waist sitting above wide hips wrapped in cutoff denim shorts and set of legs sticking down that I could just drool over. Her body is obviously athletic, with well toned muscles rippling just under her layer of woman fat. Yum!

"You should be ashamed of yourselves!" she announces with her hands on her hips. Finally, someone with a sense of decency. Maybe I'm not going loony, after all.

Then she continues in her slight foreign accent, "How can you let these children run around outside without any sunscreen on?"


The naked lady at the sink says, "Hello, Maria. I'm sorry. They just got here and we've had an accident that distracted us. Would you take care of them, please? The sunscreen is in Annie's bag. Oh, by the way, this is Billy and Lucy Walker," she continues, pointing us out. "They're our neighbors down the road and they dropped in to welcome us. Unfortunately, Ash accidentally beaned them with the screen door and we've been busy patching them up."

"Pleased to meet you," she says to us and then asks the old gal, "Do they know about your Nude Day celebration?"

"Not yet, we haven't had time to fill them in."

Nude Day? What the heck is going on here? Did I fall down a rabbit hole or something?

"OOOOH! Pretty flowers! I'll take them up to the house and put them in some water," the pretty young Amazon says. Then she disappears into one of the bedrooms and pops back out in no time.

OH, MY GOSH! She's naked as a jaybird! I glance over at Lucy, but she's playing with the baby, so I turn my attention back to Maria. Her boobs take up her entire chest and, even as big as they are, they don't sag at all. Big reddish-brown circles in their centers with neat little teats. Between her thighs is a dense pelt of curly black fur that covers the entire V between her legs.

"I'll bet her ass is as tight as a proper strand of fence wire," I think to myself.

She gathers the kids around her and starts greasing 'em up good with the sunscreen. Her vigorous rubbing causes her boobs to ripple in time with the chest muscles underneath them. What a show! Once the kids are greased up, she scoops up the flowers and tells the younguns, "I'll race you to the pond!" With shrieks of glee the kids dash for the back door and Maria turns to follow. Well, looks like I was right about that ass! My, my, that is really fine! As she saunters down the hall following the kids, she rolls her hips as only a woman can do and every muscle from her waist down is on display. And it is ALL muscle! I suddenly realize that my pecker is as hard as a locust fencepost! Boy, am I in trouble.


I take a moment to survey the living area of the house. Lucy has the baby on her shoulder, trying to coax a burp out of him; Annie is sitting next to her on the sofa with the top of her gown down around her waist and one swollen breast still poking out from her nursing bra. This is the first time I've see my daughter look relaxed today. Billy is sitting at the kitchen table, not moving, staring in the direction that Maria just disappeared. His eyes are bugged out of his head like a cartoon character; I'm reminded of Elmer Fudd. Poor guy. It looks like his nosebleed has almost stopped. My dear John is standing behind Billy, gripping the back of his chair and also staring at the thin air in the direction of the back door. He has a slightly distressed look on his face and I think I know why.

Taking pity on my sweetheart, I slide over and push myself between John and the chair. Tilting my head back I offer him a kiss and he sweetly obliges. I reach down and gently grasp his half-erect manhood and chuckle as his entire body stiffens in shock. All of him, that is, except what I'm holding in my hands.

"You're hands are COLD!" he gasps.

"They've been in the sink for a while, dear," I respond.

"Thank you, dear. You are so thoughtful," he whispers, sounding relieved as his body relaxes. His kiss is delightfully passionate. I press my body fully against his and feel the tingles run from my nipples down my belly toward my pussy. It's so nice to know that I can still feel these responses after all that has happened to me in my life.

Suddenly aware again that we have company, I lean back and accidentally bump Billy in the back of the head. My reaction is to immediately reverse direction and John staggers back when I bump into his chest. We collect ourselves and enjoy a good laugh. This gets everyone's attention and John and I wind up standing near the front door with his arm around my shoulder and my arm around his waist.

Clearing my throat, I say, "Well, I'd like to welcome you to our home and try to explain this situation, if I can."

"Boy, is that going to take some doing," cracks my sweetheart, with a grin. So I pinch him on the ass.

"Ouch!" He tries to elude my hand by rising up on his toes and pushing his hips forward lewdly.

"First of all, we do not usually run around in the nude," I start out, sheepishly, feeling the blush spread across my cheeks.

"At least, not publicly," adds John.

"Right. But, a little while ago, I heard of an odd prank that is quite popular in New Zealand called Nude Day and we decided to give it a try. It was supposed to be just a day that the two of us could spend together in private, but, as you can see, it has almost gotten out of hand," I continue.

"Well, I guess that we need to apologize for barging in on y'all," pipes up Lucy, "but, I've been dying to see what y'all have done to the old place here. What's this pond that the kids were so excited about?" asks Lucy. She looks completely relaxed with the now sated infant nestled on her shoulder, sound asleep.

"We dug out a pool behind the house for swimming," says John, "It traps water from the spring."

"Is that why the creek was brown last winter?" interjects Billy.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we had adequate siltation controls in place," John responds.

"It was hardly noticeable," corrects Lucy, "But, when you've lived all your life in one spot, you notice the least change. But I didn't see any pond out back here."

"It's behind the main house," I let her know. She is visibly confused.

John jumps in, "We built a new house just around on the other side of the hill. We lived in this house while it was under construction, but now this is our guest house."

"We'd love to invite you both back another time for a complete tour. I'm sure that John can find something that you could wear home and I'll launder your bloody clothes and have them ready when you return," I offer. Lucy is visibly torn. The range of emotions that run across her round face is hard to identify. After a pause, she seems to collect herself. Her curiosity has won out over her reticence, I think.

"I'd like to see your new home today, if I may. We're already here and I think I'm willing join you... ," her voice trails off.

After a short pause she continues, "Shall we join them, Billy?" carefully handing the baby to Annie and ponderously rising from the sofa.

"I gotta use the bathroom," groans Billy, still staring at the back door.

"First door on the right," says John, helping Billy out of his chair. Half bent over, Billy stumbles down the hall and disappears into the bathroom.

"Where do you want us to put our clothes?" Lucy asks me.

"I'll show you," volunteers Annie, standing up and handing me my latest grandchild. "Right this way."

The two of them disappear down the hall and into the bedroom.

"This is getting interesting," I whisper to John as he leans down and presses his lips to mine with a gentle passion.


Gathering the beautiful bouquet of flowers from the table, I move to follow the children. I know I don't have to hurry because I can catch them quickly if need be. Closing the back door and grasping the flowers to my chest, I break into an easy jog up the grassy hillside. The kids aren't far ahead and their youthful energy is not enough to compensate for my rigorous training. I normally run five miles daily and the few hundred yards to the pond won't be enough to even raise a sweat. The fragrances of the blooms in my arms are delightful. I love being naked. The feel of the sun and the breeze on my skin is delightful. This is heavenly! I wonder if I could convince Ms. Laura to let me clean house like this all the time. I'll have to figure out a good way to ask her.

I catch up to the kids as they round the corner of the house and they pour on a final burst of speed running across the deck. Ash's longer legs give her the lead, but the boys are in hot pursuit. I duck into the basement door because I know there is a plastic jar in the utility room that I can put the flowers in some water until I can get the stems clipped and arrange them properly in a vase. Hurrying back outside, I find the kids on the dock waiting for me. They know that they are not allowed in the water without an adult present. I'm impressed at how well behaved they are, especially compared to some of the brats I see in public these days.

"We beat you, Maria," they squeal almost in unison.

"OK. Jump in, kids," I reply, "I'll beat you next time."

I stretch out on the dock in the warm mid-morning sun and keep half an eye and both ears on the children playing in the pond. The twins have to fight over who got to a particular inner tube first and are not satisfied when I point out that there are at least two other identical toys that they can play with. The natural competitive nature of the male animal is obvious even at their age. They resolve that dispute only to move on to squabbling over one of the number of inflatable rafts. All of the kids are good swimmers and, even so, they don't stray far from the sandy end of the pond. They are easy to mind and I can relax and enjoy the lovely day.

"I'll take over watching the little darlings," says Jack, bringing me abruptly back to reality as he leaps off the end of the dock and cannon balls into the water. The splash and the waves bring more squeals of delight from the kids and they start splashing water at him with their little hands. I opt to retreat to the house before someone decides to include me in on the horseplay.

Gathering the flowers from the utility room, I head upstairs to care for them properly. I find Annie in the kitchen making coffee and greet her with a hug.

"Where's the baby?" I inquire.

"Mom and Lucy went to put him down in the bassinette in the guest room. Mom's giving the Walkers the fifty cent tour of the place," is her reply.

"I wonder which vase Ms. Laura would like these flowers in."

"Why not the big white one on the top shelf in the end cabinet," Laura's voice responds from almost immediately behind me, giving me a start. I twirl around and find the three of them behind me in the entryway to the kitchen.

"You startled me!" I complain.

With a laugh, Laura says, "It's too easy to sneak up on people in bare feet. I'll have to see if I can find flip flops for everyone to wear."

Realizing that I can't get to the vase without the stepstool, Annie reaches up in the cabinet and hands it down. I take the opportunity to quickly glance around the room. No one has any clothes on now and Ms. Laura and Lucy Walker seem almost comfortable with the situation, but Annie looks slightly disquieted and poor Mr. Walker looks really uncomfortable. Of course, he's the only man in a roomful of naked women and I guess that he is probably terrified of embarrassing himself.

"Let me show you the rest of the house," says Laura, guiding them off toward the living room, "We'll meet you girls out back on the deck when you're done in here."

Annie slumps down in one of the kitchen chairs with a sigh as I work on the flowers.

"Why are you so uncomfortable?" I ask gently.

"Is it that noticeable? I just feel so fat and ugly these days. I don't know what is wrong with me," she sobs.

I step over and wrap my arms around her shoulders. "You're not fat and ugly; Lucy is fat."

"That's not nice," she insists.

"You look wonderful, Annie. Your skin has that healthy glow that only nursing mothers have. Your hair has never been shinier and you could look great if you just took a little better care of yourself," I reply. "You managed to lose all the weight you gained during Ash's pregnancy, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I eventually did. What do you mean I need to take better care of myself?" she demands.

"Well, when is the last time you shampooed your hair?" I ask, pulling the hair tie off her makeshift ponytail and running my fingers through her hair to fluff it out and give it some body.

"Oh, that feels good, Maria," she sighs.

"And you shouldn't go around naked without your toenails polished properly," I continue as she looks down at her bare feet and wiggles her toes in response to the suggestion. "When is the last time you shaved your legs? And, how long has it been since you shaved here?" I ask, easing my fingers between her thighs and gently exploring the stubble on her labia.

"Too long," she whispers as her body begins to melt into the chair and her legs ease open to allow me better access to her sex. I can feel the heat building inside her. This woman really needs some loving. The coffeemaker spits and sputters the last of the coffee into the pot and I use this as an excuse to slowly pull away from her.

Gently kissing her full on her lips, I promise, "After I've got the houses cleaned up, we're going to make you beautiful again."

"Oh, Maria, that would be wonderful," she groans as she stretches and eases herself up to fix everyone coffee.

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