Samantha, Beth And Me
Copyright© 2007 by Just Plain Bob
Sex Story: Chapter 1 - A cheating story with a twist.
All of the signs were there; had been for some time, but for various reasons they hadn't registered on me. The biggest reason being my job. My company had been bought out and the new management had come in, reorganized and I was scrambling to re-learn that I thought, up until then, that I had down cold. I concentrated on work and as a result I didn't notice what was going on at home.
The one thing I did notice was that my wife Beth was working late more often than she had been and when I asked about it she explained that she was shooting for a promotion at work.
"I want to make more money Rob. I'm scared right now. You hear all kinds of horror stories about what happens when one company buys out another. You are busting your ass to try and fit into the way the new company operates, but what if they suddenly decide that you aren't doing it fast enough or the way they want it and let you go? The promotion will give us the extra money we will need while you find something else."
It made sense to me so I put it out of my mind.
But I did learn to do my job the new way and I did it well enough to get a promotion out of it. With the job pressures gone my mind was freed up and I began to notice things. Things like phone conversations that ended abruptly when I would come into the room. Things like answering the phone and hearing the other party hang up. Things like Beth still working late and on some Saturdays for a promotion that never seemed to come.
The biggest thing however, was the change in our sex life. It had always been good and we usually made love three or four times a week. That didn't change, but what did change was the way it occurred. Our usual practice had been "anywhere, anytime" the mood grabbed us, but that gradually changed. It wasn't spontaneous anymore, it took on more structure and it was a while before I noticed that it usually happened on the nights Beth worked late and always on Saturdays. Always on a Saturday whether she worked or not. On the Saturdays she didn't work she had a standing lunch/shopping date with her best friend Marci and when she got home she always wanted to make love.
I don't know if I ever would have connected the dots had it not been for a broken beer bottle. It was a Tuesday morning and Tuesday is trash pick-up day in our neighborhood. I usually put the trash out when I leave for work. That particular morning as I was carrying out the trash bags one of the bags broke open and spilled its contents in the driveway. A piece of a broken beer bottle had cut a slit in the bag and the jouncing of my steps as I carried the bag to the curb had caused the hole to enlarge and eventually the trash spilled out.
I went back into the garage and got another trash bag and started picking things up off the driveway. One of the things I picked up was a motel bill from a local motel. It had Beth's name on it and it was from the previous Saturday and it had been paid for with cash. I knelt there staring at the bill in my hand and I started having bad thoughts. Beth must have cleaned out her car and dumped the trash in one of the garbage cans in the garage. No need to be careful about something like that, right? After all, who digs through the garbage?
The conclusion was inescapable - Beth was cheating on me. The question was did I confront her with what I had - just a motel receipt - or did I look for more. I finally decided that I needed something a little more definite than what I had. The next time Beth told me she was working late I drove over to where she worked and found all the lights off and the place locked up tight. The following Saturday she said she was working and I told her I had an early golf date with a couple of the guys I worked with and I left the house. When Beth came out I was down the block and I followed her. She drove to the other side of town and pulled into the parking lot of a Super 8 motel. She pulled up in front of one of the units, got out of her car and went up and knocked on the door, it opened and she went inside.
I settled down to watch and wait and three hours later Beth came out, got in her car and drove off. I sat there and kept my eye on the door to see who would be coming out. It was almost a half hour wait, but then the door opened and Beth's lover came out. I was stunned - it was a woman! My wife was cheating on me with a woman. The woman got in a car and drove off and I sat there staring at the door to that motel unit for another twenty minutes before I shook off the funk I was in and headed home.
On my way home I stopped off at my favorite watering hole and I was sitting at the bar nursing a Black Jack with water back when one of my buddies took the stool next to me. He took one look at me and said:
"Problems hoss? You look like you best bird dog just died."
"Not far from it, not far from it at all."
I told him the story and he shook his head. "Sounds like she was using you to camouflage the fact that she is a carpet muncher."
"What I don't understand is the sex angle. Why is she always wanting to make love to me after she has been with her lover?"
"Guilt man. Either she is feeling guilty over what she has just done and is trying to assuage the guilt or it is more camouflage. She figures if she jumps your bones as soon as she gets home you won't wonder about what she might have been doing while she was out."
Talking about Beth was depressing me so I changed the subject to football, had one more drink and then I headed on home. As I sat and waited for the garage door opener to lift the door I wondered how long she had been using me for cover; how long had she played me for a fool. I walked into the house and into the kitchen. Beth was at the sink when I came into the room and she came to me, threw her arms around me and tried to kiss me, but I turned my head away from her. She stepped back from me and said:
"What's the matter baby?"
"I don't know Beth; why don't you tell me."
"Tell you what Rob?"
"Tell me all about what you did this morning."
"You know what I did Rob, I worked."
"Then why weren't you there when I came by to take you to lunch?"
"We finished early and I called Marci and met her for lunch and then we did some shopping."
"You and Marci always have lunch and shop at the Super 8 Motel over on Montrose? And how come you never told me that Marci had undergone radical plastic surgery? I didn't even recognize her when she came out of that motel room."
The color drained out of Beth's face when I mentioned the Super 8. I walked by her and went down the stairs into the basement, grabbed a couple of suitcases and then carried them upstairs and put them on the bed. Beth came into the room and saw me taking clothes out of the closet.
"What are you doing Rob?"
"No, no no no Rob, we have to talk."
"No we don't Beth. I saw all I needed to see today and what I saw told me all that I needed to know. You have been cheating on me and I caught you. We are done. History. Over."
"Please Rob, you have to let me..."
"Get out of here Beth. Get out of here and get away from me before I do something I'll regret. Just take your lesbian ass out of here. The sight of you is making me sick to my stomach."
"No Rob, we are going to ta..."
I spun around, grabbed her and pulled her to the front door. I opened it, pushed her outside and closed and locked the door behind her. Then I went through the house and made sure all the doors and windows were locked. Her purse was on the kitchen counter so she didn't have keys to get back in. I heard her beating on the door and demanding to be let back in, but I ignored her as I packed all my stuff and moved it out into the garage and loaded my car. I would have to leave the big stuff like my tool box and compressor, but I could come back in a couple of days and get them when Beth was at work.
When I was loaded and ready to go I went to the front door and opened it so Beth could come in. Not because I wanted to say anything, but because I didn't want her laying down in the driveway or doing some other stupid thing like that to keep me from leaving. She came in madder than a wet hen.
"Damn it Rob, you can't do this without at least talking to me."
"All right then, go sit in the living room. I'll wash my hands and then give you a couple of minutes to tell your lies."
She started to say something, thought better of it and went into the living room. I turned on the water in the kitchen sink to cover the sound of me going out the connecting door into the garage and was halfway down the driveway before she came running out onto the front door and onto the porch. In the rearview I watched her watch me drive away.
I checked into a motel and the next day I started apartment hunting. I found one that I liked, filled out the paperwork and put down a deposit. I wouldn't be able to move in until they ran a credit check and checked my references. I figured that Tuesday would be move in day. Monday morning I did all the stuff with bank accounts and credit cards; called a few people I knew for a recommendation on a divorce attorney, called one and made an appointment for Wednesday. I had a dozen calls from Beth and I didn't take them or return them.
Tuesday brought another dozen or so calls from Beth which I again refused to take. I got a call from the apartment manager telling me that everything had checked out and I could stop by and pick up the key. There were only a half dozen calls from Beth on Wednesday, but I started hearing from friends and relatives who all wanted to put their two-cents worth in. I was over-reacting. I was being cruel in not sitting down with Beth and talking things out. It was all just a misunderstanding that could be cleared up if I would just sit down and talk with Beth. We were obviously meant to be together; just talk it out and you can get by it. And on, and on and on.
The attorney wasn't at all helpful. We lived in a no fault state and everything would end up being split fifty/fifty and I had no problem with that. I would end up paying court costs and I had expected that. The bad news was that if Beth chose to get an attorney and fight, things could drag out for months and legal fees would start to mount and I would probably end up having to pay Beth's attorney's fees. I told him to go ahead and that we would just have to see what happened.
I decided that my best move would be to tell Beth in no uncertain terms that it was over and to leave me alone. I took her first call on Thursday and went straight at it.
"Beth, I do not want to talk with you. I don't need or want to hear what you have to say. There is no excuse for cheating. It doesn't matter if it is with another man, another woman or a Great Dane; sex with anyone other than your spouse is cheating and cheating is something I will not accept. So we have nothing to talk about. I have seen an attorney and started divorce proceedings and I would appreciate it if you would just leave me alone. Goodbye."
She was served, she didn't contest it and six months later the final decree was issued. To do the fifty/split of assets the house would have to be sold so I cut a deal and bought out Beth's half, refinanced the house and got on with my life.
Our town wasn't all that big and over the next six months I saw Beth a dozen or so times at stores and restaurants and the like. The first couple of times I just ignored her or turned and walked the other way. Gradually the bitterness faded and a couple of times I caught myself smiling at her. She noticed and smiled back. Another month went by and one day we saw each other at the mall and she waved at me and I caught myself just as I was going to raise my arm and wave back. I couldn't do it. She might take it as a thawing of sorts and make her think she could approach me and start a conversation and that would not be a good thing. I needed to keep her away from me. Why? Because I loved her. Leaving her and divorcing her were the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. But she cheated and to me cheating was the worst sin imaginable. It was the one thing I could never forgive. I could not, just could not get by that.
Another six months went by during which time I started dating again and I eventually found the girl I wanted. She wanted the same thing as I did - a relationship with no strings. All I wanted was some one I could go out with, have fun with and enjoy sex with and not have to worry about rings, wedding bells and the like. On our third date Sam (short for Samantha) said:
"I like you Rob. You are a good looking guy and a fun date, but I'll warn you ahead of time that all I'm interested in is a "friends with benefits" relationship."
"So basically, what you are telling me is that you want me as a part time fuck toy?"
"Well, tell me this; while we are in this friends with benefits relationship will I be exclusive, or will you have other friends who have benefits?"
"You will be my only male friend with benefits."
"What does that mean?"
"What it means sweetie is that I am bi-sexual and I have a female friend who has benefits. When I'm not with you I will be with a hot little redhead named Gail. Will that be a problem?"
"I don't know. How exclusive is the redhead?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't take this wrong, but in this day and age disease is a very big thing. Do I need to worry about what Gail might contribute to the relationship?"
"Oh no sweetie, I have the same worries and I am very careful. You will be my only male friend with benefits and Gail my only female one. As far as Gail picking up something I would very much doubt it. Gail is a stone ass lesbian and she would kill herself before letting a man touch her."
"What about getting something from another woman?"
"Not to worry sweetie; Gail is monogamous. She is faithful to me, God only knows why, since I have told her over and over that all I want with her is a friend with benefits relationship. She thinks she can break me of my disgusting habit of having sex with men. I keep telling her the Sun will explode before that happens. What is that?"
"What is what?"
"That look. You looked like you were going to say something and then didn't think you should."
"It is just that I don't understand the bi-sexual thing. All you can get from a woman is fingers and a mouth. You can get that from a man plus everything else a man has to offer."
"No I can't."
"No you can't what?"
"Get from a man what I can get from a woman. Even a man who likes going down on a girl and who does it enthusiastically can not do it as well as another woman. A woman knows instinctively what to do, where to touch and how hard or how light. A woman seems to be able to sense when the partner she is working on is getting close and what to do to make it last. And the one thing a woman does not do is stop when she just can't wait any longer to shove her cock into the pussy she was working on. So, is this going to be a problem?"
"No, not unless you try to get me and Gail into bed with you at the same time."
That got a huge laugh and a "God, but wouldn't I love to see that."
Sam and I were three months into our relationship when she drug me to a party with her one night. We were having a good time and about two hours into the party I heard her say:
"Oh my God!"
"That gorgeous creature who just walked in. Gail would be history in a heartbeat if I could hook up with that."
I turned and saw Beth standing just inside the door and looking around. She saw me and smiled and I turned back to Sam. I don't know why I did it, what I should have done was head for the back door and get out of there, but what I did was say:
"It shouldn't be too hard. She also favors girls."
"You know her?"
"Well don't just stand there; take me over there and introduce me."
"No thanks. Look, I understand that I have to share you, but I won't be a party to setting you up with who I have to share you with."
"You sure she likes girls?"
"Okay then, I'll handle it."
"Should I stick around, or will you be leaving with someone else?"
"Don't be a spoil-sport sweetie. We have a good thing going so let's not be getting possessive or jealous. I came with you and I'll leave with you, but depending on how things go I may not spend a whole lot of time with you between now and when we leave. Wish me luck" and she headed for Beth.
I shrugged my shoulders and then walked my empty cup over to the keg and got a refill. Then, making sure that I avoided that part of the room where Beth and Sam were I circulated and socialized with the few people there that I knew.
Maybe half an hour went by and then Sam came up to me and said, "You could have told me."
"Why? It's history; it doesn't matter any more."
"Maybe not to you, but it does to her."
"I take it you didn't score?"
"I might have, but it depends on you."
"On me? Why would it depend on me?"
"She says she will have dinner with me if I can get you to sit down with her for just fifteen minutes."
"Oh no, forget it Sam. It is behind me and I want to leave it there."
"Oh come on Rob. She says you have been divorced for over a year. Make me happy and give the girl her fifteen minutes. It can't hurt and I'll treat you really, really nice when we get back to my apartment."
Call me weak, but I had a good thing going with Sam and I didn't want to see it messed up. Sam was obviously hung up on Beth and I didn't know if she would be pissed if I cost her a chance at Beth or not. I took one last shot at trying to avoid talking to Beth.
"Why would we want to complicate what we have going for us by adding my ex-wife to the mix. Don't you realize how awkward that is going to be for me?"
"No I don't because it shouldn't. We have been going out with each other for over three months now and have you ever seen Gail? No you haven't. I keep the two of you separate and I would be the same with your ex. Come on Rob, give the poor girl closure and help me out at the same time."
"Sam. It will end badly for us and that will be twice that Beth has fucked up my life."
"Rob sweetie, I promise you I won't let anything happen. Trust me on this one, please?"
Against my better judgment I told Sam to have Beth call me and we would set up a meeting.
"Do it now baby; do it now and get it over with. If you wait until tomorrow it will just give you more time to think up reasons not to do it."
"Come on Sam; this is a party for Christ's sake. We are here to enjoy ourselves, have a good time, and not re-hash old personal problems."
"There is a Denny's two blocks away. Meet her there for coffee, give her the fifteen minutes she wants and then come on back here and party. You go on over to the restaurant and get a booth. I'll go find her and send her there."
Again, I did not want to do it, but I did want to keep what I had going with Sam so I told her to go ahead and find Beth.
I was sitting in the booth when she walked in the door. I had the same reaction that I had every time I saw her; the same reaction San had had, "Oh my God, what a gorgeous woman."
She walked over and slid into the booth across from me. "Hello Rob."
"How have you been?"
"I've been better. I have to admit I am surprised that you agreed to talk to me."
"Sam can be very persuasive when she wants to be."
"That surprises me too; that you would hook up with someone who is what you divorced me over."
"What does that mean?"
"You called me a lesbian and then walked out on me and here you are hooked up with a girl lover."
"I did not divorce you because you were a lesbian. I divorced you because you cheated on me."
"I am not a lesbian Rob, I am bisexual; there is a difference. I have been bi-sexual since my roommate seduced me in my freshman year at college."
"That doesn't matter Beth. All that matters is that you had a lover on the side; someone you snuck off with and had sex with. That was cheating Beth and cheating is the one thing that I can absolutely not abide. I loved you Beth, and you will never know how much it killed me to find out that you loved someone else."
"I didn't love anyone else Rob. I loved you; I always loved you. Kathy was never a threat to you. She was a toy; a sex toy for me. She gave me something that you couldn't give me. She gave me a woman's touch. I can't explain it Rob, but a woman can turn on another woman in a way that no man can. It was sex Rob, not love. She gave me what you couldn't and you gave me everything else. I didn't see it as cheating Rob. To me cheating is giving away something that belongs to your spouse and I never did that. I gave you all my love and I gave you all the sex you could handle."
"Yeah, sure, but only out of guilt."
"What does that mean?"
"There was plenty of sex all right, but for the last three months of our marriage it was only after you came home from being with your lover. I figure that it was guilt sex. You fucked me because you felt guilty for having been with your lover."
"I never fucked you Rob. I made love with you. There was no guilt involved when I came home from being with Kathy. I'd just had sex and I wanted to make love. I wanted your touch, I wanted you to make beautiful love to me and hold me and cuddle with me when it was over. I hurried home to you Rob because I needed you and I wanted to be with you."
"Well Beth, you can tell it anyway you want to, paint it any way you want to, but the bottom line is that you cheated on me. My position on that is as clear as crystal. Sex, any kind of sex, with some one not your spouse is cheating and cheating to me is unforgivable and I guess I may as well tell you why. I never told you this; in fact, I have never told anybody about it. You know that my grandparents raised me after my parents died, but I never told you how they died. Most people assume that they died in an accident of some kind, but that isn't true.
"One spring, when I was eight years old, I came home from school early one day because I got a splinter in my hand on the playground during recess. We only lived two blocks from the school and my mom didn't work so I was going to let her take care of it instead of the school nurse. I walked into the house and heard loud noises from my parent's bedroom so I walked back there. The door was open and when I looked into the room I saw my mom on the bed with a man and they were both naked. The man wasn't my dad.
"A lot of eight year olds wouldn't have known what they were looking at, but I did and I knew that since it wasn't my dad it was wrong. My mother saw me standing there watching and she quickly ended things and sent the man packing. Then she sweet talked me into promising her that I would never tell my dad what I saw. She said it would be our little secret and then she said that people who kept secrets should be rewarded and if I would keep the secret she would take me down to the ice cream store and buy me a hot fudge sundae. I loved hot fudge sundaes so I promised I would keep the secret. We went and had ice cream and I never told my dad what I saw that day.
"Once I knew what she was doing during the day while I was in school and dad was at work I saw how I could get all the hot fudge sundaes I wanted so I started coming home early once or twice a week. Maybe once in every three times I would find a man in bed with mom and it wasn't always the same man. I was always sworn to secrecy and bribed with a trip to the ice cream store. Mom wasn't stupid; she knew what I was doing and so she told me to stay in school and stop coming home and that every Wednesday she would take me out for a hot fudge sundae. I said okay and I never did tell my dad what was going on.
"One day dad came home early, found a man in bed with mom and he killed them both and then he killed himself. I've spent every day of my life since then knowing that I could have prevented it from happening. If I had told dad what was going on he would have confronted her, maybe beat the hell out of her and thrown her out of the house, but she would still be alive and so would he. By not telling him I set it up so that he could walk in on them, lose it and then kill them. I sold out for a hot fudge sundae and because of it I lost both my parents. I could have kept it from happening, but I didn't. Mom's cheating caused it, but I could have kept dad from walking in on the two lovers and I didn't. I can not abide cheating Beth, I just can't."
"Why didn't you ever tell me this?"
"I just told you why Beth. I don't talk about it because I am ashamed of what I did. I let my parents die for a fucking hot fudge sundae. Just the memory of it kills me, let alone talking about it."
"Still, it is something that I should have known about you. You should have told me."
"Yeah? Like you should have told me about your bi-sexual preferences?"
"I was afraid to tell you. There are a lot of guys who really get turned off by things like that. I was afraid if I told you that you would stop seeing me. I loved you Rob, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I was afraid I would scare you off. Be honest with me Rob; would you have accepted it if I had told you?"
"I don't really know Beth. I loved you so probably yes, I would have accepted it, but I would probably also have told you never around me, never in our place and never talk to me about it."
"Rob, I still love you. There hasn't been a man in my life since you left me. Is there any chance for us? Any chance at all?"
"I don't see how Beth, not the way I feel about what you did."
"I don't know what to do now Rob. Since you left me I've held onto the idea we could eventually work it out and get back together. I don't know what to do now."
"Well, one of the things you have to do is have dinner with Samantha. Now if you will excuse me I have to get back to her and the party."
When I got back to the party I found Sam, asked her if she was ready to go and then reminded her that she had said she would treat me "really, really nice" when we got to her apartment.
"I gave her the fifteen minutes. Balls in your court now."
Sam wasn't really, really nice to me when we got back to her apartment - she was downright mean! She damned near fucked me blind. I didn't even have enough strength to get out of bed and go home so I ended up spending the night and she tried to hurt me again the next morning.
We went out for breakfast and as we sat sipping coffee Sam asked me if I had settled anything with Beth the previous night and I told her that as far as I was concerned everything had been settled with the divorce. She gave me a long look and then changed the subject.
One thing I never did with Samantha was inquire about her other friend with benefits - the one on the female side - so I didn't know if she had dinner with Beth or not and I had no idea if Beth had indeed replaced Gail as Sam's female FWB. There was no change in Sam's relationship with me and to me that is all that was important. Sam and I dated two or three nights a week and what she did on the other nights I treated as strictly none of my business. I didn't know if she spent those nights with her "girlfriend" or took evening classes at the community college and only spent one night or two with her female lover. For all I knew she only saw her female lover once every two weeks. I didn't know what happened on that side and I didn't want to know. What I did know was that I was content with my life the way it was.
It was about six weeks after the party and Sam and I were having dinner before going out to a movie. Sam was unnaturally quiet during the meal and as the waiter was clearing away our empty plates I asked her if something was bothering her. She answered my question with a question.
"Have you thought about where you want to be in a couple of years?"
"No, not really."
"Well, I have. I think about it a lot. In two or three years I want to settle down, get married and have a couple of kids. The thing is I know me well enough to know that even after I'm married I'm still going to occasionally want to enjoy what a woman can give me. It wouldn't be a constant thing, maybe once a month or so, but I would want it. The problem with that of course is that I would have to have a husband who was open to it, a husband who wouldn't feel threatened by it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a man like that? I've only met one Rob. I've been bi since my senior year in high school and in the eight years since I graduated I've only found one man who has been able to accept it and we both know who that man is, don't we?"
I didn't have a clue as to what to say at that point so I thought it best to keep my mouth shut.
"My plan Rob, was to marry you in a couple of years."
I started to say something, but she held up her hand and said, "In a couple of years Rob, not now. I know you are not ready to get married again and I'm not really ready right now either, but when it is the right time I want the man to be you. I know that on the surface we have a pretty casual looking relationship, but it is truth time for me Rob. I love you. I have for quite some time now. I have no idea about how you feel about me. I don't know if I'm just an easy piece for you or if you have any feelings for me. It didn't matter because with a couple of years to work on you I was sure that I could make you fall in love with me. I say it didn't matter, but now, all of a sudden, it does."
"What has changed?"
"I've come to believe that you are never going to be able to commit to any woman other than Beth."
"That's just nonsense."
"Is it? I saw how you looked at her at the party when I met her. The night we had dinner at Mario's and she was there you looked at her every time you thought I wasn't looking at you. It is obvious that you still love her. I thought that after you had your talk with her she would realize it was over between the two of you and she would fade away, but that hasn't happened. She loves you and even if you won't have anything to do with her she is always going to hope that some day the two of you will get back together and she is always going to be close by."
"I think you are imagining things Sam."
"No I'm not Rob. I've been seeing her since the party, but it is obvious to me that the only reason she is seeing me is that it keeps her closer to you. Every time we get together she asks me how you are, how you are doing. The other day, just to see what would happen I told her you were sick and she got a stricken look on her face and I could see that she wanted to run to you and nurse you back to health."
"I keep telling you Sam, there is nothing there."
"I know you do Rob, but I also know that you are lying to me and to yourself. You love her Rob and you know you do. The only thing keeping the two of you apart is your stupid behavior toward what she did. It was perfectly reasonable for her to hide what she was doing from you Rob. I've seen how irrational people can be if there is even a hint of homosexuality around. She needed what she was getting from her girlfriend and was afraid of what you would do if you knew she was bi. She was afraid that if she told you you would be disgusted with her and drop her. She was between a rock and a hard place Rob. She loved you and didn't want to lose you, but she still needed that little extra something that you could not provide so she got it on the side. Big deal! It didn't cost you a damned thing Rob, not one damned thing. She loved you to death and she proved it every day. For God's sake Rob, she did what I'm doing and you have no problem with it. Oh shit! Listen to me! I sound like I'm trying to put the two of you back together."
"Yeah, that is pretty much what it sounds like. Just what is it you are trying to do?"
"Christ Rob; I don't know what I'm trying to do. Up until a month ago I lived life for the moment. I didn't think about what was down the road. Now, all of a sudden, I know what I want and I know where I want to be in a couple of years, but I don't know how in hell I'm going to make it happen. I want you Rob, but I'm still going to have my bi-sexual urges. That has been fine with you up until now, but the problem is that those urges are being taken care of by Beth and I want to keep having Beth taking care of them. How can I get what I want when what I want includes the two of you?"
I sat there looking at her and thinking, "How indeed?" She was right of course, at least about my still loving Beth. I could deny it to everyone else, but I couldn't deny it to myself. It was the reason I'd never gotten into another serious relationship - I couldn't commit because part of me still belonged to Beth. The friends with benefits relationship I had with Sam was the best I could do and it worked only because Sam didn't require me to commit to anything other than the moment.
"What are you thinking Rob?"
"The night of the party. The night I told you that you going after Beth would screw up what we had."
"It hasn't Rob. I'm keeping things separate like I always have. All I'm doing is talking about what I'm hoping for a little farther down the line. I guess what I was doing was trying to sound you out on the idea and then I went off on a tangent. What it boils down to Rob is that I want you, but I can't have what I want as long as you are hung up on Beth and she is still hung up on you. I need the two of you to work things out."
"Work things out? What the hell do you mean by that?"
"I think the two of you should get back together and see if you can't make things work out."
"That's dumb. No way I could do that; not after what she did."
"Oh bullshit Rob. What you are hung up on is not what she did, but on how you feel about cheating because of hot fudge sundaes."
"How the hell do you know about that?"
"Beth told me."
"Why would she do that?"
"Because she still loves you. If she can't have you she still wants you to be happy. She thinks you are happy with me so she told me so that I wouldn't do anything to trigger that cheating hogwash."
"Yes Rob, hogwash. It isn't the cheating that is your big problem, it is the fact that you think you are responsible for your mom and dad being dead. You blame it on the fact that your mother cheated and you did nothing about it. Do you know why your mother was with other men? No, you don't. Was it because your dad cheated on her, she found out and was getting even? Did he have something wrong with him and he couldn't get it up and she needed to get sexual relief from someone else?
"You don't know if they had an open marriage. Maybe when he caught her it was with someone he hated and she should have known better than to be with that guy. You don't know Rob, you were way too young to know. Look at it from the other side. What if you had told him and he confronted her. Suppose they argued and he pushed her and she fell and hit her head and it broke her neck. Your dad goes to jail. What if they argued and your dad hit your mom and she grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed him. He's dead and your mother goes to jail and all because you told. It wasn't your fault Rob and looking back and saying that you could have prevented it is just plain dumb. Put it behind you Rob and move on. Take Beth out on a date and see where it goes."
"What the hell do you hope to get out of it Sam?"
"Hopefully I'll end up with both of you and you both will be happy about it."
I shook my head at that and Sam said, "It could happen. Even if you got back together she will still want a woman's touch and that would be me. And if she played a little you should be able to also and again, that would be me. Or how about you don't get back together, but get to be friends, friends with benefits maybe. Then I marry you and she becomes "Our" friend with benefits. The possibilities are endless lover."
"Do you not realize that one of those endless possibilities could be that we put things back together and you get froze out?"
"I know it is a possibility baby, but like I said at the start of this conversation I can't have what I want as long as you and Beth are hung up on each other and doing nothing about it. I need it to go one way or the other."
"I just don't think I can do it Sam."
"You won't know until you try Rob."
That conversation stayed with me most of my waking moments of the next two weeks. I loved Beth; God knows I did, but I still couldn't see my way past what she had done. Look at it from any angle you wanted too and the bottom line is that she was sneaking around behind my back. She was lying to me about where she was going and what she was doing. How did I know that all those times were with her girlfriend? How did I know she wasn't seeing a guy sometimes too? If I asked her and she said no, how could I believe her after all the other lies she had told me. No! Regardless of what Sam wanted I could not bring myself to get together with Beth. A couple of times during that two week period Sam asked me if I had gotten together with Beth and I told her that I hadn't. She didn't say anything, but I could tell that she wasn't happy about it.
Sam and I had a standing date for Saturdays. I would pick her up, take her dinner and then a movie or out drinking and dancing and then we would go back to her place or mine and make whoopee. I rang the bell at six-thirty and Sam greeted me in her bathrobe. After closing the door behind me she opened the robe exposing her naked body and said:
Silly question I thought as I reached out and tweaked a nipple.
"I'm horny as hell tonight sweetie and I want to stay in. Why don't you go on in the bedroom and get naked for me. I'll be right there. Oh, by the way, the light is burned out and I don't have a spare bulb. You aren't afraid of the dark, are you?"
"I might be, just a little bit, until you get there and light up the room."
"Oh you sweet talker you. I'll hurry."