Chapter 6

That evening after the kids and Mary had all gone to bed; Mike sat there thinking about the doctor's advice. On impulse, he picked up his cell and called the number on his speed dial.

Kelli came out of the shower to the ringing of her phone. Still damp and wrapped in a large towel, she answered the phone. "Hello?" "Kelli?" choked the male voice on the other end. "Mike, is that you? What is wrong darling? You sound absolutely awful!" "Kelli, I think I'm going to lose my mind. I'm so desperate and I feel sometimes that I'm going to collapse and have a heart attack. I need someone to talk to and I want to come see you in Seattle for a few days. I need help and I need it before it's too late." "When can you get here?" She asked. "I can be there by tomorrow evening." "Tell me what you flight number is and time of arrival and I'll be there to pick you up at the airport." Mike couldn't help but laugh a little at Kelli because he was so relieved at her answer. She didn't waste time asking dumb ass questions but went to the heart of the matter knowing that the only important information was the Mike was welcome to come and that she would be there to pick him up at the airport. Quickly giving her his flight information, Mike couldn't help but say before hanging up the phone, "Kelli, I think you are going to save my mind and maybe even my life!"

The next morning, Mike called his boss and arranged for the week off then before Mary left for work, he asked to speak with her in the kitchen. The kitchen had become almost their formal meeting ground when they needed to speak with each other. Outside of these meetings, they rarely had more words with each other than absolutely necessary in taking care of business, the house or the children. "I'm leaving later this morning on a trip and I'll probably be back by Friday or Saturday at the latest." Taken by surprise by the sudden announcement, Mary looked at Mike with a deep misgiving. "I didn't know you had a business trip planned and I can't help but wonder why you waited until the last moment to tell me." With a sudden suspicion, she looked at him with a glare in her eyes and asked "This isn't a business trip, is it? Are you meeting with someone? I don't understand what is going on here and I think it's only fair that you tell me if there is someone else. I know you have filed for divorce but I had hoped that you would at least wait until we are no longer married before you start having relations with other women." Mike sighed deeply and said "You're right about this not being a business trip. When I went to the doctor the other day, he said I was one foot out of the hospital." Mary gasped and clutched her breast as she almost staggered and then sat quickly in the nearest chair. Mike quickly held up his hand and continued, "I'm not dead yet so don't go running to the bank just yet. The one thing the doc stressed was that I needed help and I needed it quickly. It was then that I realized that I needed someone to talk to about all this shit that my life has turned into. I have spent all my time with you and the children and then with my job. I don't have any close friends and I haven't for a long time. It's amazing how I have let myself get to be such a loner. All I know is that I can't talk to you. The only one I can talk to is Kelli." "I knew it" Mary hissed. I just knew there was something about that bitch and now you are going to her. I just bet that you've got a whole week of fucking and sucking planned and you're just running off to leave me here with the kids by myself."

Mike and Mary sat there glaring at each other. They were only a small spark from a major blow-up and both were more than ready to take this fight to the next level. As someone in the military might have said "The body count is going to be really high when the action is done." Suddenly, without warning, Mike just seemed to deflate and seemed to become smaller than he actually was. With almost a pleading in his voice he leaned towards his wife and said in a softer tone "Mary, I'm almost at the end of my rope here. I don't think that you realize how close I am to some kind of really desperate kind of action. I need someone to talk to if I'm going to survive all this hell my life has become and if Kelli is the only one then you are just going to have to just suck it up and deal with it. I didn't create this mess. I'm sure that somehow and some way, I must be at least partly to fault but you were the one that made the decision that it was ok to ruin all of our lives by fucking a man who is not your husband. You are the one that has been living a lie of being my faithful and loving wife for these past two years. I am the one who is trying to get some kind of sanity back in my life and if Kelli is the one to help me then so be it."

The next morning Mary watched her husband walk through the security gate at the airport on his way to Seattle and to Kelli.

"I can't believe just how fucked up my life and my marriage have become. My husband hates me and right now I hate myself." Wearily, Mary turned and walked back to the parking lot where she had left her car. Her depression was so deep and overpowering that she would hardly function but she was able to drive herself home without killing herself or anyone else. Later that day, she sat in the office of her counselor and while she sat there waiting, she reviewed the last several visits she had attended.

When she had first started attending counseling sessions with Doctor (Phil) Stephenson, Mary had stated to him that her main goal initially was to discover why she had decided it was ok to have an affair with Sean. Phil had told her that he was there to help her discover these things and to try to help her also discover what she wanted from the rest of her life. This was going to be her fourth session and so far the only thing that she was sure about was that she still loved Mike and she still had absolutely no idea why she had turned her back on her husband and gave herself to Sean. She was becoming very frustrated by the lack of progress. She had really hoped that she could find a way to explain to Mike why she had acted so badly for so long. Her long term goal was to be able to explain to Mike in such a way that she would convince him to try and save their marriage. So far, one thing was very clear; she had no idea how to explain her affair. There simply was no explanation that made any sense to her and sure as hell if it didn't make any sense to her, it wouldn't make any sense to Mike either.

Phil sat at his desk and looked at Mary. He noticed immediately that she was very depressed. He had been worried about her for the last two sessions and had spent several hours trying to decide on his next step. So far they had made very little progress and he knew that she was becoming upset by her lack of improvement in her understanding how this had all happened and how her life seemed to be in the sewer.

With a small sigh, he said "Good afternoon Mary, how are you doing today?"

"Hi Phil, I'm not doing so well today. You see, I just put Mike on a plane to Seattle this morning. He is going to see his girlfriend and I'm just not sure when or even if he is coming back."

The look of dejection on her face was so severe that Phil could not help but feel some of her pain and sorrow. "I have to do something to help this poor woman and I need to be quick about it. I can clearly see that time is something that I can't waste any longer." Clearing his throat, he said sharply "Mary it's time to cut out the bullshit! I'm tired of listening to you whine and whimper about poor little you." The stunned look on her face encouraged him to continue. "I'm here to help you but, damn; I can't if you are only here to feel sorry for yourself. It's time you quit acting like a little girl and someone has taken your little dolly away. It's time that you grow up and start acting like an adult woman who is married and has children. So far all I have seen is a selfish person who is crying because she was caught and now just can't seem to understand why she is being punished."

Mary looked at her counselor with tears in her eyes and a trembling lip. "Why are you being mean to me?" she sobbed. "Everyone is being mean to me. Why can't anyone be nice to me just once?"

"I don't know any other way to get this message across to you" Phil said harshly. "Mary, it's time for you to quit sniffling about poor little you. To put it simply, I'm fucking tired of your bullshit and I'm fucking tired of you acting like a spoiled, selfish cunt. You want to know why everyone is mean to you? It's because you have been selfish and mean to all around you. Look what you have done to your husband and look what you have done to your children. Do you really think that your actions are those of a loving wife and a good mother? Do you honestly believe that it's ok to fuck another man who is not your husband and to practically carry on your affair in front of your husband and children? Come on woman, get a grip please. You're not stupid. Wake up and smell the pile of shit that you are sitting in." Phil was only using a little acting in his tirade at Mary. Actually he really felt most of what he was saying to be accurate so it was easy to sit there breathing a little heavy and glaring at his patient. "It's time for you to get honest with me and yourself. It's time to start answering some questions with the real motives. Simply put, it's time to shit or get off the pot. So what's it going to be Mary? I don't have the time or inclination to sit here any longer and listen to your bullshit." Phil knew that his language was very strong but he needed Mary to get with the program or he was going to lose her and he HATED to LOSE. That was one of the reasons he was so successful.

Mary sat there and looked tearfully at her counselor. Slowly over the next few minutes, he could see the change come over her face. The tears slowly morphed to a glare and then to determination. "OK Doctor" Mary said with some derision, "As you have so clearly stated, it's time for this cunt to shit or get off the pot. As my husband used to be so fond of saying, if you look like a dickhead, act like a dickhead and sound like a dickhead, then... you must be a dickhead. So Doctor Dickhead, what is the first question." Mary looked fiercely back at Phil, daring him to take the next step.

Phil, without letting her see, gave himself a little mental high five. It seemed at least for the moment that Mary had finally come to realize that she was the one who had to do most of the work and it appeared finally that she was ready to take the first step in the right direction. "OK Mary here is your first question that you must find the answer. Tell me you marriage vows and tell me which ones you have honored and which ones you have broken."