Chapter 1

I'm need to be careful with this story. You see — It's 80 percent true and 20 percent fiction. It's up to you to figure out which is which. However, anyone who knows me well will recognize this story and will know who I really am. Kinda dangerous if my wife ever reads this. This will be a long story and I will try to update as often as possible. You will see that I HATE cheating and HATE cheaters. Your feedback is most welcome.

Yes it is so easy to cheat on your spouse, especially after the first time. The first time is so exciting and yet the guilt is almost enough to take away your breath and stop your heart beating for all time. After that is gets just gets easier until there is no guilt at all and you get to enjoy the best of both worlds. I mean, after all, what could be better. You have a loving spouse who hasn't got a clue and you are so careful and you just know that he/she would never have any doubts about your love for him/her and fidelity to your marriage vows. You may or may not actually form any real affection or even love for your lover and if you do it is mostly to make it ok that you are cheating because... well you know what I mean. You may even think that it's ok because it's just a fling, a temporary thing, and that it will end soon and your spouse will never know and you will never do something like this again.

You are sure that after the affair, all will magically return to the way it was before — before the cheating and the unknowing destruction of something that was once the most wonderful, loving caring relationship between husband and wife. But it's really ok because you don't intend to get caught and what they don't know won't hurt them. You think you are so smart and so careful. You have been living with your spouse for so many years now that you immediately know if something is wrong. You can instantly tell when they are not feeling well. You are so in tune that you know from just a glance that they want to make love. When they walk through the door you know without a word whether they have had a good or bad day at work.

I mean you really know that person almost better than you may know yourself. So why would you not realize that your spouse also knows you just as well. Let's see if I can explain this a little better. I guess may I could just list the ten signs of a cheating spouse. (1) Working more overtime than usual. (2) Unusual one sided telephone conversations or quickly hanging up when you come in the room. (3) Excessive admiration or talking about another person. (4) Sudden unexplained Increase or Decrease in sexual interest in you (5) Takes excessive time in returning phone calls from you. (6) Frequently uncommunicative or distracted and avoids most conversations other than what is needed for daily living. (7) Excessive cash withdrawals from banking accounts. (8) Is frequently unavailable while at work. (9) Dresses more attractively when going somewhere without you. (10) Unexplained changes or requests for new or untried sexual acts.

These are probably the most common signs of a cheating spouse. They are not the only signs that can be a clue to a spouse cheating. I don't believe that there is any real difference between men and women and their reasons for cheating. Oops, I said reasons for cheating. I need to change that. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is absolutely no acceptable reason for being unfaithful to your spouse. So instead of reasons for cheating, I should say, excuses for cheating. Anyway I guess I got a little sidetracked. It you are so in tune with your spouse, how can you be so blind and stupid to think that they won't notice anything is different and out of character for you. Duuuhhh, I mean really how anyone could think so little of their spouse and the relationship of how many years to be so dumb. Like I said, cheating is easy. Unfortunately, most spouses who are being cheated on cannot believe that their one and only true love could have a sexual relationship with another person. Because of that belief, they will, over and over again, make excuses that in hindsight are absolutely so ridiculous that they can't believe that they didn't suspect anything was wrong much earlier. I call it the "head in the sand" syndrome.

Like I said, cheating is easy. And if you're not a complete idiot, not getting caught is not much more difficult. I mean, listen, your already ahead of the game when your spouse will refuse to see or even make up your excuses for your infidelities. Most couples don't have the resources or money to pay a professional private investigator to follow you around. They don't have the knowledge and again the money to buy expensive spy ware such as recorders, cameras and gps trackers. So as long as you are reasonably discreet you won't get caught. Like I said, it's one thing to suspect that you're being unfaithful but it's and entirely different thing to PROVE it. How does one go about asking a partner if they've been fucking around. If they have been lying about the affair, could you possibly believe that they will just come out with it and confess all their sins. Hell no. Lies breed lies. And most cheaters know (kinda like politicians) that if you keep denying, and keep denying until doomsday, eventually they will convince all that they are the injured party and as pure as the driven snow. (I would like to puke now with that thought) Kinda blunt, I know, but really that's what it is. It's not sleeping, messing, fooling or any of the other words that many people use to describe this terrible act of abandonment. Hey if it involves sex, than it's FUCKING around. It is abandonment! A cheating spouse makes a deliberate and conscious decision to give to another that which in their marriage vows they swore to forsake to all others.

Well, maybe the first time could maybe, in an extreme set of circumstances, be an accident. But not the second, third, fourth, etc. and each act is a deliberate act of total abandonment of their spouse and the marriage vows. I think that in a really big way, this is where the most pain comes from when the affair is discovered. In most cases the cheating spouse is caught by accident or actually confesses. I must admit that the second case is rare and the confession is made more to relieve the guilt of the cheater than anything else. Also the confessor doesn't really understand the depth of the hurt and pain that their spouse will now have to endure for the rest of their lives. Forgiveness may be a possibility but forgetting is not an option. The cheater also does not believe that their spouse could actually consider leaving them because of "a little fling". They honestly believe that if they say that they are sorry, that it just happened, that it was just sex, and that it will never happen again, all will be forgotten and forgiven. Holy shit, Batman, how fucking dumb can anyone be? Every one of those statements are flaming arrows directly to the heart of the poor other half. I mean you have already destroyed their entire lives but you have to try to "explain" it by saying the most stupid and hurtful things on top of it. Why not be at least merciful and just put a damn bullet between their eyes. It would really be much more humane.