I'm need to be careful with this story. You see — It's 80 percent true and 20 percent fiction. It's up to you to figure out which is which. However, anyone who knows me well will recognize this story and will know who I really am. Kinda dangerous if my wife ever reads this. This will be a long story and I will try to update as often as possible. You will see that I HATE cheating and HATE cheaters. Your feedback is most welcome.
Yes it is so easy to cheat on your spouse, especially after the first time. The first time is so exciting and yet the guilt is almost enough to take away your breath and stop your heart beating for all time. After that is gets just gets easier until there is no guilt at all and you get to enjoy the best of both worlds. I mean, after all, what could be better. You have a loving spouse who hasn't got a clue and you are so careful and you just know that he/she would never have any doubts about your love for him/her and fidelity to your marriage vows. You may or may not actually form any real affection or even love for your lover and if you do it is mostly to make it ok that you are cheating because... well you know what I mean. You may even think that it's ok because it's just a fling, a temporary thing, and that it will end soon and your spouse will never know and you will never do something like this again.
You are sure that after the affair, all will magically return to the way it was before — before the cheating and the unknowing destruction of something that was once the most wonderful, loving caring relationship between husband and wife. But it's really ok because you don't intend to get caught and what they don't know won't hurt them. You think you are so smart and so careful. You have been living with your spouse for so many years now that you immediately know if something is wrong. You can instantly tell when they are not feeling well. You are so in tune that you know from just a glance that they want to make love. When they walk through the door you know without a word whether they have had a good or bad day at work.
I mean you really know that person almost better than you may know yourself. So why would you not realize that your spouse also knows you just as well. Let's see if I can explain this a little better. I guess may I could just list the ten signs of a cheating spouse. (1) Working more overtime than usual. (2) Unusual one sided telephone conversations or quickly hanging up when you come in the room. (3) Excessive admiration or talking about another person. (4) Sudden unexplained Increase or Decrease in sexual interest in you (5) Takes excessive time in returning phone calls from you. (6) Frequently uncommunicative or distracted and avoids most conversations other than what is needed for daily living. (7) Excessive cash withdrawals from banking accounts. (8) Is frequently unavailable while at work. (9) Dresses more attractively when going somewhere without you. (10) Unexplained changes or requests for new or untried sexual acts.
These are probably the most common signs of a cheating spouse. They are not the only signs that can be a clue to a spouse cheating. I don't believe that there is any real difference between men and women and their reasons for cheating. Oops, I said reasons for cheating. I need to change that. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is absolutely no acceptable reason for being unfaithful to your spouse. So instead of reasons for cheating, I should say, excuses for cheating. Anyway I guess I got a little sidetracked. It you are so in tune with your spouse, how can you be so blind and stupid to think that they won't notice anything is different and out of character for you. Duuuhhh, I mean really how anyone could think so little of their spouse and the relationship of how many years to be so dumb. Like I said, cheating is easy. Unfortunately, most spouses who are being cheated on cannot believe that their one and only true love could have a sexual relationship with another person. Because of that belief, they will, over and over again, make excuses that in hindsight are absolutely so ridiculous that they can't believe that they didn't suspect anything was wrong much earlier. I call it the "head in the sand" syndrome.
Like I said, cheating is easy. And if you're not a complete idiot, not getting caught is not much more difficult. I mean, listen, your already ahead of the game when your spouse will refuse to see or even make up your excuses for your infidelities. Most couples don't have the resources or money to pay a professional private investigator to follow you around. They don't have the knowledge and again the money to buy expensive spy ware such as recorders, cameras and gps trackers. So as long as you are reasonably discreet you won't get caught. Like I said, it's one thing to suspect that you're being unfaithful but it's and entirely different thing to PROVE it. How does one go about asking a partner if they've been fucking around. If they have been lying about the affair, could you possibly believe that they will just come out with it and confess all their sins. Hell no. Lies breed lies. And most cheaters know (kinda like politicians) that if you keep denying, and keep denying until doomsday, eventually they will convince all that they are the injured party and as pure as the driven snow. (I would like to puke now with that thought) Kinda blunt, I know, but really that's what it is. It's not sleeping, messing, fooling or any of the other words that many people use to describe this terrible act of abandonment. Hey if it involves sex, than it's FUCKING around. It is abandonment! A cheating spouse makes a deliberate and conscious decision to give to another that which in their marriage vows they swore to forsake to all others.
Well, maybe the first time could maybe, in an extreme set of circumstances, be an accident. But not the second, third, fourth, etc. and each act is a deliberate act of total abandonment of their spouse and the marriage vows. I think that in a really big way, this is where the most pain comes from when the affair is discovered. In most cases the cheating spouse is caught by accident or actually confesses. I must admit that the second case is rare and the confession is made more to relieve the guilt of the cheater than anything else. Also the confessor doesn't really understand the depth of the hurt and pain that their spouse will now have to endure for the rest of their lives. Forgiveness may be a possibility but forgetting is not an option. The cheater also does not believe that their spouse could actually consider leaving them because of "a little fling". They honestly believe that if they say that they are sorry, that it just happened, that it was just sex, and that it will never happen again, all will be forgotten and forgiven. Holy shit, Batman, how fucking dumb can anyone be? Every one of those statements are flaming arrows directly to the heart of the poor other half. I mean you have already destroyed their entire lives but you have to try to "explain" it by saying the most stupid and hurtful things on top of it. Why not be at least merciful and just put a damn bullet between their eyes. It would really be much more humane.
I think the worst thing though is when the cheater says "it's really all your fault because you didn't love me enough"! Wow, just take a railroad spike and drive it straight into their heart why don't you??? I mean you felt a little taken for granted maybe or unloved or WHATEVER. Instead of talking to your spouse about these things because you felt that they would be hurt or something as stupid as that, instead, you what? Oh yeah, you FUCKED around on them instead. Now that was really thoughtful of you. I'm so proud of you now. Here is another good excuse about why they cheated. The cheater's lover was nice to them, paid them compliments, made them feel wanted. So that made it ok? Why don't you just say that they had a bigger dick or a tighter pussy or that they were a better lover. Then you can just bury the poor spouse and get on with their sorry ass lives. Cheaters are very, very selfish and even knowing how dangerous and harmful their behavior is, they just don't care about anyone but themselves. They don't care about their marriage, the damage they will do to their spouse, children, family, etc. They also don't care of the damage to any family that may be involved with their lover. They only care about what THEY are getting out of this illicit affair. They also have the knack of actually putting part of the blame on everyone else. That they are really just victims and can't control what is going on. HORSESHIT immediately comes to my mind with that one, don't you think?
Here is a quick little story to show a point.
There is the couple and we will call them Mike and Mary. They've been married for going on ten years and have two wonderful children, Billy and Tammy. They have had a good life and have enjoyed each other both in and out of the marriage bed. In fact they are one of those loving, touching, never apart from each other couples. So what happened? First, Mike always treated Mary with respect and tenderness. He wore his love and affection for her right out there for all to see. He rarely went out with the guys and was the perfect loving husband and father. Over the last few months, Mike has been feeling very upset and unsettled emotionally. Things just didn't seem to be going right between him and Mary. Things that he just couldn't seem to put into words. These things were only feelings. Feelings that were causing him extreme pain that was keeping him so upset that thinking clearly has become almost impossible. He could think clearly about his job, in fact, without realizing it, he was putting more and more into the job and less and less into his daily life with Mary. The kids were still receiving all his love and Mary seemed to be a loving mother as well.
But something was definitely wrong between Mike and Mary. Mike couldn't remember the last time they made love. He could easily remember the last time they fucked. He could remember how unsatisfying it was and how Mary acted as though it was just another chore to be done around the house, similar to washing the dishes or doing the laundry. This all seemed to start shortly after his cousin from back home came to temporarily stay with them. This temporary stay had lasted over a year now and there was no end in sight. Sean and Mary had become almost inseparable. They had started doing more and more things together. They frequently left the house for a variety of reasons and left Mike at home to sit with the children. They would be constantly touching and sitting closely. Mary would even sometimes cut Sean's hair for him. When Mike suggested that Mary might like to do the same for him, her reply was short and cutting.
Now Mike was a pretty smart guy. At the office, he was considered to be the brightest rising star in the company. Mike was simply a victim of the "head in the Sand" syndrome. He refused to admit to himself that there could be any possible way Mary could be having an affair with Sean. Mike finally could take it no longer and had eventually admitted to himself that something was drastically wrong.
He decided to try to follow Mary and Sean one evening. He hated to do it and actually felt guilty for the thoughts in his mind. They were all sitting at home watching TV one evening about 10:PM, the children were in bed and asleep and Mary said "Hey Mike, Sean and I are going to run over to Taco Bueno for a late snack, do you want us to bring you anything? Slowly, Mike looked at Mary and then at Sean, "no thanks, I'm just not hungry." Mary told Sean to get the keys to her car and they went out the front door. Mary said "Don't wait up for us because we may just eat our taco's there and then maybe drive around for a little while".
Mike sat there for a long moment. His eyes were damp, his chest was on fire and the pain in his mind was almost overpowering. Then even though he knew it was wrong to leave his children alone in the house, he quickly went out to the side of the house where he kept his motorcycle. Starting the engine, he pulled out of the drive and went in the direction of the taco joint that Mary had said they were going to. It was just a few miles and then Mike pulled up in a small parking lot where he could easily see the Taco Stand. He looked carefully and could not see Mary's car. "Maybe I beat them here and I'll just wait a few minutes and then they will come." Mike sat on the bike, leaning carefully into the shadows of the building he was parked next to. He did not want Mary to see him spying on them. She would have been furious. She seemed to get that way really easy and really quick. It had gotten to the point where Mike was afraid to talk with her. Mary would turn into a raging bitch in a single second and rip him a new one over the slightest comment or even worse just ignore him. After 30 minutes, he realized that they must have gone someplace else. Nervous about leaving the children alone for long, with a deep sigh, Mike started the bike and drove slowly home. There was no car in the drive when he got there. He parked the bike on the side of the house and went into the house, checking immediately on the children to make sure all was well with them. He wandered into the living room where the TV still flickered and stared blindly at the picture. At midnight, he wearily went to bed and eventually to sleep. The next morning, sitting in the kitchen alone having coffee, he made all the necessary excuses for Mary and Sean's actions so that he could put it out of his mind and go to work.
Next week would be Mike's birthday. In the past, Mary had done a variety of things to celebrate this day with Mike. She had planned birthday parties, romantic evenings out at four star restaurants and overnight stays in nice hotels. In fact the overnight stays in hotels was Mary's favorite. Sex in a hotel room seemed to really get her going and when she got going, it was really good sex. This time it was different. There were no elaborate plans for a party or night out on the town. There was no mention of the upcoming date. Nada, Zip, Zero, Zilch, Nothing. On the morning of his birthday, Mike again sat in the kitchen alone, having coffee and trying to get his head straight for the upcoming day at work. Actually, he was just pissed. "how could Mary forget this date, Mike thought. He never forgot her birthday and sure as hell never forgot their anniversary