Chapter 4: The Shit Hits The Fan

I was at the store on Friday and of course Carmen was at work. My kids--Brad, Janice and Mandy--came by the store to see me. "Dad, we need to talk to you. Can we all go over to the house for a little bit?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Sure, go on home. I'll be there in a few minutes. Just let yourself in." I knew what this was going to be about and was pretty much prepared for it. I headed home and walked in the house. Everyone (my three kids) was seated in the living room.

"Dad, this is about Carmen and her kids." I guess Brad was going to be the spokesperson for the group.

"No shit, Brad! It took you two hours to drive here for this conversation. I pretty much figured out why. What the hell did Carmen ever do that you dislike her so much?"

"We... I mean, I don't dislike her, Dad. It's just that one day you help her out and the next day she's living here with her kids. I noticed your car is gone too. I take it that you gave it to Carmen to drive."

"Because you are my kids, I'll take the time to try and explain this to you. But before I start, I want to tell you that I'm rather disappointed in all of you."

"Dad, I think this woman is using you. I believe you are lonely for mom and this woman comes along and you fall for her and she senses it; she knows you have needs and she fulfills them. You fall for her and now she knows she has it made, and her kids are well taken care of."

Mandy jumped in. "Bullshit, Brad. You might think that but I know Carmen a lot better than you do. She would never do that to Dad. I feel she just loves him and, to be honest, I think Dad loves her too. I'm here more to support Dad and Carmen than I am you, Brad."

"Brad, if you weren't my son I would have probably knocked you off your chair. Let's begin with Carmen and her house being broken into. What do you think I should have done, Brad. Give her money? Maybe avoid her and tell her it's her problem. Brad, I did what I felt what was right in my heart, not in my groin."

Janice spoke up. "Dad, are you saying you have never had..."

"Sex, Janice? No, Carmen and I have never been intimate... yet! Not that it is any of any of you guys' business what we do. Now, for the big surprise, I'm thinking of asking Carmen to marry me."

"What?" said Brad. "Dad, you hardly know this women. She comes with a lot of baggage, let alone three kids."

"Dad, I have to agree with Brad. Carmen is closer to my age. Isn't she awfully young for you?" asked Janice.

"Look, guys, I'm alone. All three of you are on your own or pretty much so in the case of Mandy. I found a woman I care for and according to Mandy and or course Carmen, she cares for me. I have a big house that I'm willing to share with a beautiful woman and her three kids. Why are you so against it?"

Brad spoke, "Okay, Dad, let's say for the sake of argument that you two are in love and want to be together. She has three little kids. Do you really want to start over and raise three more kids?"

"I'm crazy about the three kids. Playing with the boys like you and me used to play Brad. Molly hugging me and sitting on my lap like my two girls use to do when they were little. They're good kids and I think I could make a big difference in their lives."

"Dad, you're looking through rose colored glasses. These aren't your kids. They're not your flesh and blood like we are. Do you really think that you could care for and raise these kids for the next... say, twenty years and they aren't even your flesh and blood? I'm sorry, Dad, I just don't think you want to spend that many years raising kids that aren't even yours."

"What do you think, Janice? Do you think they need to be my flesh and blood too?"

"Dad, I don't know. I love you, Dad, and you'll always be my dad. Do you have it in you to raise someone else's kid's? I really don't know."

"Janice, let me word it differently for you. Would you have loved me my whole life if I wasn't your dad. Saying of course you knew it from the time you could think for yourself. Would you consider me your dad or someone else as your dad."

"You are my dad and that's too hypothetical. I don't know what I would have thought. I guess since you are the one who paid my bills all my life and raised me as your own that I would consider you my real father. I don't know what that has to do with you raising Carmen's kids."

"I'll be back in a minute. There is something I need to show you."

I went back and took out all the DNA tests that were taken for us. When I came back, I tried to explain some of it for the kids.

"Your mother and I kept some secrets from you. We were never going to tell you what I'm about to show you. It might even be a mistake to show it to you now but this thing about Carmen's kids has gotten out of control. I love the little guys and know I could be a good father to them. I'm showing you my reason right now.

I handed them each copies of their and my DNA.

"What is this, Dad?" asked Janice.

"It's Brad's and your DNA test results. You see it states that you are brother and sister. That means you have the same biological parents. Here's Mandy's and, as you can see, not all the same blocks are marked. It means that more than likely only one of her parents is yours and Brad's parent."

Mandy started crying. "Are you saying you're not my biological father?"

"No, Mandy, here's my DNA. I'm not Brad or Janice's biological father."

Total shock came over everyone. There was total silence while brains were dissecting the information.

"What?" cried out Brad. "Bullshit, you've always been my father."

Janice was crying. "Is that why you asked me about my father, Dad? I can answer it honestly now. You're my father. I don't care what some stupid test said, you're my father and always will be. I love you so much, Daddy. I just came here today to tell you I hope you weren't making a mistake with Carmen. I'm so confused, Daddy. I just want you to be happy. I thought I was looking out for you." She was still crying and I was holding her.

Mandy came over and cried with her, after all it was her sister.

Brad asked, "Are you going to tell us the story about our sperm donor father and how long you have known about it?"

"First Brad I want you and Janice to know that I have always considered you two as my own kids. From the date I found out to now, nothing has changed other than you two knowing. You were and always will be my son and Janice will always be my daughter. Telling you about this is because you needed to know that it's not only blood that holds a family together. It's also love and compassion."

I was going to tell them the story about their sperm donor father. The only thing I was going to change is telling them when I found out. I love them as my own and want them to believe that I had always known. The rue with their mother was dead and gone and I didn't want them to know we were about to divorce.

"Your mother and I married very young. Me and a guy named Harvey Kittle both loved your mother. Harvey also loved a woman named Mary and got her pregnant and they got married. Of course, I was happy that I had your mother to myself and asked her to marry me. We got married and I was really happy. Your mom told me a few years later she got married to spite Harvey.

"The four of us remained friends and your mom got pregnant. That was with you, Brad. Two years later, she was pregnant again with Janice. Shortly after Janice was born, Harvey died and your mom went into a depression.

"She broke down one day and told me about you two being Harvey's kids. I was shocked not knowing what to do. We separated for about a month to give us time to think things over. I missed my two little kids and Annie and I had a talk and decided to give it a try. Your mom was the best wife a man could ask for after that. She grew to love me and I always loved you kids as my own. Then Mandy came along and Annie said she definitely was mine. That was it. You all know our life after that. We had a great family till your mom's accident."

"Dad, why did you get tested for giving me a kidney if you weren't my natural father?"

"Hope, Brad, I hoped and prayed to God that I was a match for you. You were my son and I would have given you my kidney in a second if we matched."

Janet asked, "Dad, were you ever tested for a match before Brad was hospitalized?"

"No, back then it was really expensive and I had no reason to be. Since your mom had already told me the truth, there were no surprises. Of course when I did have the test, there was no doubt, but I wasn't surprised. By the way, I have all your families test results. Brad, you and Gail are the biological parents of your kids. Janice, you and Rob are also your kid's parents. Just in case you wanted to know since we all had this conversation. You don't need to tell anyone about this talk. Your mother was a good mom and wife. Let's leave it that way."

"I'm sorry, Dad, I made such a fool of myself. I was probably thinking more about how it affects us than how it affects you and Carmen." With that my son began to cry. I hadn't seen him that emotional since his mother's funeral.

"Brad, I know people always worry about their inheritance in situations like this. It's not good to do but it is real life. My guess is that you guys are more worried about your inheritance than you are Carmen and my well-being."

I think reality set in when I saw Brad and Janice look toward the floor. "Look, you three will always be in my will. My estate is set up that each of you will get a fair share. I just want you to know that I'm disappointed in your lack of compassion for Carmen and her kids."

Janice was still crying. I believe the thought of her not being my daughter overrode even the thought of inheritance. Janice kept hugging me and told me she didn't believe the stupid test and that I was her dad and it was just going to stay that way. I just hugged her back and held on to her. I started hugging Mandy when Carmen pulled up.

"Well, guys, it looks like we will all be going out for dinner. Unless you want to tell Carmen why you're all here," I said.

Carmen walked in. "Hi, everybody, what brings everyone here?"

Mandy thought quickly. "This is my last weekend home and we all decided to go out for dinner."

"Oh, my God, that would be great. Give me a minute to change my waitress uniform. Kids, talk to Mandy, Janice and Brad while mommy gets dressed."

Molly walked up to Brad who was sitting down and gave him a hug. "Hi, Brad. I like you." Brad looked over at me. He got just an inkling of what I had been saying.

Mike walked up to Janice and asked, "Did you bring your kids so we can play. We're learning to share our toys better."

Janice replied, "No, Honey, they're at home. Maybe you can come up after Christmas and see them."

"Can we, Uncle Dan, please? I've never been to their house."

"We'll see, Mike. It's still a couple of weeks away," I replied.

Mandy asked Mark what was new. "We got a new car and Mommy kissed Uncle Dan."

Everyone looked at me. Carmen came in and saved the day. "Yes, I did, Mike, I kissed him twice for letting us use the car. In fact, we are going to use it right now to go to dinner. Come on, kids, back in the car. Uncle Dan will drive so you all have to get in the back."

After we ate, Brad came over and we talked in private. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I'm a fool, I should never have questioned you."

"No, you are right to question things that can affect you, Brad. It's just the way you went about it. I want you to question things I do if you feel strongly about them. We'll talk it over as father and son until we understand each other."

He smiled when I said father and son. I later talked similarly with Janice. I wanted my kids to always know I was there for them. To this day, I don't know if I made the right decision or not by telling them, but it was done.

Mandy asked me if I would mind babysitting the kids because she wanted to go Christmas shopping with Carmen. I asked them if they would pick up some things for me also. I gave them a list and hopefully enough money to cover it. I told them they could leave the stuff in lay away and I would pick it up later. I wanted to buy the kids bicycles. Every kid should have a bike and they now lived in an area where they could ride them.

I pulled Carmen aside, "Do you need any money to go shopping?"

"No, I'm not shopping for myself. Just for you and the kids for Christmas. I got this three hundred dollar windfall when my friend sold my old clunker."

I knew she was too proud to take any more money. She wanted to give the kids nice things without spoiling them. It wasn't an easy thing to do.

I asked Carmen if I could use her car to take the kids shopping and she had to laugh. "Just be careful with it and no eating in it, I just got it a few days ago," she smiled.

I was taking the kids to see Santa and have their pictures taken with him. I told all three of them that we were shopping for mommy for Christmas. They could pick out the gift they wanted to give her.

"Uncle Dan," said Mark. "I don't have any money. I want to buy mommy something nice."

"Okay, kids. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give each one of you twenty dollars to shop with. It's only for your mommy, not for yourselves. So look for things that cost under twenty dollars."

"Can we carry our own money, Uncle Dan?" asked Mike.

"Alright but keep it in your pocket so you don't lose it. Take it out only when you're ready to pay for the gift."

I gave each boy a twenty dollar bill and they folded it and put it in their pocket. Molly had a little purse with her junk in it and we found room for her money in it. Of course, the kids had no idea what the value of money was and were looking at some really expensive stuff. I could see this wasn't going over too good so I took them to a store that catered to kids. They took the kids around and showed them what they could buy for the money they had. I did tell the clerk that if anything they wanted to buy was a little extra to let me know.