Cat Powers (The Adventures Of)
Chapter 1

My name is Cat Powers. I suppose you want to know what I look like and all that junk, but really, suffice it to say that I'm beautiful. The eyes have it. No one has blue eyes like mine.

Until recently I was homeless. Now I found someone to live with. He's really nice, but I don't want to talk about him right now. I wanted to tell you about what's happening in my neighborhood.

Where to start? Well, the boys in my neighborhood are tough. They think they are anyway. But some are so stupid! I go for the smart ones, like Satch. He's cool and tough.

And daring! Last night we did it in the middle of the road. I love that. The thrill is undeniable. At any moment someone could drive by and see us going at it. Or even run us over! No one did, though. But the way Satch was yelling, I thought the neighbors were sure to come out and see what was happening.

I'm a screamer too. The boys love that, you know.

Burl is a retard. He's the anti-Satch. Just a few weeks ago we were all hanging out in the alley, and he started boasting that he could touch the Andersen's house. We started laughing. No one could do that. They had a huge guard dog inside of that wall.

But the idiot went ahead and hopped over. He made it to the house and was just tiptoeing back when the dog saw him. He barely got out, but not before the dog got a nip on his leg. What a fucking idiot!

Burl will be alright (there was only a little blood), but he's still dense. Some never learn. He's always coming up with stupid stuff like that. When I first came to the neighborhood, I thought he was hot, but now he's just stupid. He's always inciting fights with the boys from the other side of the wash. Then that gets everyone involved. They start coming over and causing trouble.

I don't have too much trouble, though. When you look like I do, there will always be those around to protect you. Like Satch. He doesn't let anyone mess with me.

Don't get me wrong. I have my enemies. Some are jealous of my looks. But they don't get too close.

I shouldn't ramble so much, but so be it. The guy I live with doesn't know I'm writing this. If he did, he'd literally die of shock, I'm sure. So I should stay to the point. But I probably won't. I'm daring too, you know.

So a week ago Billy died. We didn't know how it happened at first. We found him in the yard of the empty house down the alley. Well, Satch found him. It was terrible. Billy was so chilled out, so easy-going. He never hurt anyone.

He was just crumpled in the corner. Satch took care of the body before he told anyone. He said it was ugly.

When a few of us got together to figure out what happened, naturally blame fell first on those ruffians across the wash. Burl was all for going out on an ass-kicking raid, but luckily cooler heads prevailed. I say luckily, because it turns out that it probably wasn't them after all.

See, the next day Satch came running over to my yard. I wasn't even awake yet, but he called me from outside, so I went to see what he possibly could want at this hour. It had to be important. He knew better than to wake me at noon for something stupid.

Satch led me out into the alley and down to the empty house. We looked through a gap in the gate and into the yard.

Well, it was no longer empty. There were a couple of men on the roof working on the fan box and two kids we had never seen were running around the yard. They looked like trouble. Round faces, tiny eyes and stupid looks on their faces.

"I think we found our problem," Satch said quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, when I went in there earlier, these two idiots came charging out of the house and were looking to pick a fight. One threw a rock at me."

"And?" I knew Satch was too smart to face two kids at once.

"Of course I ran."

"You think they killed Billy?"

"I wouldn't put it past them."

"So now what?"

"We need to tell the others to stay away."

So we did. Things were calm for a few days. Then yesterday Pip disappeared. Pip is sort of air-headed. She's blonde, but that's no excuse, really.

Well, I should say was blonde. I won't tell you what they did to her. Burl is seriously pissed. He and Pip were lovers sometimes. It's taking everything Satch has to keep Burl from going into the yard and retaliating. And probably getting killed himself too.

For now we've taken to staying out of the alley, in case the kids figure out that we hang out there sometimes.

We've lost two friends now. I considered Pip a friend. Her name was really Fluffy. What a stupid name! But she didn't have any say in it, of course. My real name is stupid too, and I'm not telling you what it was.

I got my current name from the guy I live with. He is rather unimaginative, methinks. I mean, come on. Cat? That's the best he could think of?

But really, I like it. His last name is Powers. I like that too. I sound like a superhero or something: Cat Powers to the rescue!

So John (that's the guy I live with), he likes to spend a lot of time in front of this TV thing here, clicking on these buttons. And he sometimes leaves it on overnight. For what reason I don't know. But last night after he went to bed, I got up here, and decided to see what it is he does on this thing.

And lo and behold, isn't he naughty! Writing such things and posting them on this website. Stories Online, hello! So I decided to tell my story.

I won't tell you who he is. The stuff he writes isn't that great, anyway. Besides, who wants to read about humans? Especially humans doing that! Thought so.

He takes himself seriously. I guess most of them do.

It's pretty funny, though. Some of them act like they own us! That's why I ran away from my house early on. This couple had this insane little kid who constantly was picking me up, moving me, throwing me. When it started trying to ride me, I slipped out the door one day and never looked back. Satch was the one who managed to slip my collar off.

So I stayed with him in his neighborhood. I'm a bit of a princess, though, you see. I mean, my parents were all champions. I like living on the streets, but I need my comforts too.

That's where John comes in. He's not as attentive as the couple from my first house. They used to cook for me. John just opens a can. Still, after six months of chasing mice and scavenging, this is gourmet!

And he made me a door, which lets me come and go as I please. It took a while to show him how to do it, but after I scratched the door enough, he finally figured out where to put it. Sometimes I wonder how he even functions during the day.

I get some crap from the others about being a part-time streeter, but I don't give a shit. When I'm sleeping soundly on a pillow and they're getting startled out of the weeds by that garbage machine, I have the last laugh.

Well, we're trying to figure out what to do with the two kids who just moved into that old empty house. Milli says we need to just stay away from that yard, but Satch is right; those kids are going to be exploring the alleys and surrounding areas soon enough. Nowhere will be safe for an afternoon nap in the sun. I can stay in my walled yard, and naturally the others can be my guests as well, but that is so confining!

We will not be cowed by these twerps. I'll keep you posted. If John keeps leaving his computer on at nights, that is. Meow...

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Humor / Superhero / Anal Sex /