Chapter 35: Need vs. Want

Someone was stroking the side of my face. Another hand was on my chest, another on my stomach, my legs, and my arms. Hands were touching and stroking me. None of it was sexual. In fact, I was still wearing my shirt and shorts. I opened my eyes and looked around.

Renée was curled up to my right. She was stroking my cheek while watching my face. I looked into her eyes and felt her pain. She wasn't physically hurt, but she hurt all the same. It was that gut wrenching feeling of losing a friend or a beloved pet. The feeling that something horrible had happened in your life and there might be nothing you can do to fix it. I understood that pain because I felt it myself.

Erin, Nadia, Tabitha, Chloe and Yvonne were piled on my bed with us. They were gathered to hold me, to help me through my plight. None of them looked hurt like Renée, just concerned. Through our touch though, I could feel relief spreading through them like a cooling wind.

I turned back to Renée and held her gaze. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that," I said softly.

Her eyes brimmed with tears. "It's my fault. I had no right to be jealous of Yvonne."

I pulled her down and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "No, you and the others have all the right to be jealous. It's not your fault..."

"It's not yours either Ral," Yvonne interrupted. It was like she had been waiting for me to say something about it. "You showed me earlier how you have had no control over what's happening. No one is to blame here." The others were nodding in agreement.

I nodded too. There wasn't really anything else to say. We all knew the situation and it was stressful enough without bickering or any one of us trying to take the blame.

I looked at each of the girls gathered, making sure to have full eye contact. "Thank you. All of you." I sat up and they moved around to curl near me. It reminded me of something and I looked up to the mural. It was an abstract that, to me, looked like a bunch of tigers piled together.

"Did you see something like this when you bought the mural?" I asked Nadia.

She smiled. Maybe she had.

I only had one more question. "So, how did we end up in the bedroom?"

Erin looked up, "You were balled up so tight we couldn't get you up, so we all worked together to bring you in here."

"You were crying and apologizing..." Tabitha started.

"Apologizing for what's going on." Chloe finished.

"We said we'd take care of you if you took care of us." Nadia said.

I looked to Yvonne who had let the others explain. She smiled gently and nodded. Our contact let me know that she agreed to help too.

Then I looked back to where Renée still lay. She hadn't tightened in with the rest. I think she was worried about how I saw her. She had been the first to show jealousy. I wondered why for a moment and noticed her curling up tighter while watching me. My expression must have been disheartening, but it wasn't meant to be.

I reached out to her. "Come here. Join us."

She hesitated, looking at my hand.

"If you don't come over here, we'll come over there," I threatened with a slight smile.

She caught the inflection and took my hand. Once she was curled in with the rest of us, everything felt better. It didn't matter that she had been jealous or that I had been upset. It was already forgiven and the emotions forgotten.

"I have an idea about why it was you that reacted like that," I said looking down at Renée.

She looked up, her smile fading. "Why?"

"You have your own genetic gifts and they may be at odds with what you feel for me."

Her brow furrowed. "That can't be. My gifts don't affect me emotionally."

"What if your gifts not only make you a perfect lover physically, but make you believe it? You've always had the ability to choose to remain in your previous relationships. You could leave for any reason. Now you don't want to leave, but..."

Erin piped up. "But if she believes she's your perfect lover, why would you need all of us?"

"Exactly." I turned back to Renée. "You didn't have any problems with me being with the others, but when I altered Yvonne, your perfection would be questioned, especially if I had others that I might have considered perfect. Jealousy always shows up when someone believes their relationship is threatened. In your case, it wasn't the relationship you were worried about, it was your perfection compared to the others."

I looked up at the others. "I'm not meaning any disrespect. This is just how I believe her gifts are affecting her."

The others all shook their heads. "No, it's okay. It actually makes sense," Erin said.

I'm glad it did to someone, I wasn't sure I could repeat it if necessary.

"It's nice knowing why I got upset, but that won't mean I won't get ... well, find another reason to be upset," Renée responded.

To me it sounded like she was trying to avoid the "J" word. I let it go. If she didn't want to say it I wasn't going to make her. However, her response was a good point. "There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. Just don't let it overwhelm you. Talk to us. Talk to someone. Let us know how you're feeling and why."

"That would go for you too, Ral." Tabitha said.

I nodded. "I know. Don't suggest one thing and then do the opposite. I'll try not to."

"Me too," Renée whispered.

I crushed her to my side. "Good. We can help each other."

"So what was the deal with Yvonne?" Erin asked.

"What do you mean exactly?" I asked in return.

"Well..." she looked a bit sheepish, " ... I was curious if you could do that with any of us." She finally looked into my eyes.

I looked around. Tabitha, Chloe and Nadia all seemed to wonder the same thing. I looked at Renée but she seemed lost in thought. I touched her cheek and she looked up. She had heard what Erin said, but she had been trying to avoid my gaze. There were mixed feelings between us about that issue.

"I don't think making changes to any of you would be a good idea until I have better control."

"How do you expect to have better control, or even know your control is better if you don't try?" Tabitha asked.

That was a good question. "Then maybe I shouldn't use it at all." I looked at Yvonne and how the borrowed tank top stretched to hold her increased bust. "Well, I could use it to try and give Yvonne her figure back."

She looked down at her chest and then hugged it with both arms. "No! If you change me back then I won't have the figure you prefer." She looked at Nadia, Erin and Renée to point out her meaning.

The others chuckled. I didn't think it was that funny. "I only suggested it, Yvonne, because you didn't have any say when it happened."

She lowered her arms and pointed her abundance right at me. "Can you honestly say you do not like this?"

"Honestly?" I couldn't help but drop my eyes to the points growing under her taut shirt. After shaking myself out of her glamour I answered, "No, I can't say that I don't like it. But it was wrong of me to make the changes without at least your permission."

"Do you hear me complaining? I mean, it hasn't happened since I came to America, but I have been dumped for more endowed women."

I looked away. The thought of breaking up with the girl I was with just so I could be with another with more impressive endowments seemed so wrong. As if I could actively do such a thing. Without my Charm, I wouldn't have met even half the girls who continued to want my attention. Without my Charm, I might not have met any of them except maybe Renée.

I looked at Yvonne again. "That won't happen with me." My voice was surprisingly steady considering how bad I felt for wanting all of them.

Renée gave me a light nudge to the back. "It better not." She had the tone of a threat but her slight smile told me that it wasn't as dire as it sounded.

"Why would he?" Chloe asked. "I mean, if he wants bigger boobs, all he has to do is change us like he did Yvonne."

Nadia looked up. "Remember our dream from the other night? When it was just you, Renée, Erin and me?"

I remembered the dream. Not only did I squeal on myself about my preferences, but all three had begged me to make them what I wanted.

"What happened?" Tabitha asked.

Erin grinned wide. "Oh, he has the same ability in our shared dreams, but he has very good control."

Tabitha looked at the three of them. "But the changes didn't stay? Are they temporary?"

"No. We woke up with the same bodies we fell to sleep with. We were only affected in the dream." Nadia answered. "Honestly though, I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Ooo, me too," Chloe chimed in excitedly.

I held up my hands to ward off the looks that were turning to something I might not be able to compromise with. "Ladies, that's a dream effect. It's fun for the dreams because we can't hurt each other in the dream. If all of you were that stacked in real life..." I blinked and could envision each of them sitting there, barely able to cover the massive pillows jutting from their chests. "No! I can't do that. Talk about overwhelming."

Renée sat up and pressed herself to my back. "Besides, if you really wanted that, my body would comply." She gave me a kiss on my cheek.