Caution: This Erotica Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Tear Jerker, Cheating,
Desc: Erotica Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Two people lose their way after the husband's mistakes in business. She strays and he leaves. Their lives change.
The sound of the rain as it fell on the surface of the temporary cover I was standing under was like a hiss of anger at the fates for taking away the person that I had loved for so long. I was there alone, the others giving me this moment to say a private goodbye. The two workmen were standing just out of sight, giving me the illusion of privacy. The coffin had been lowered into the gaping hole and the cover kept the rain away until it could be filled, closing off forever the world above. I let the tears flow now that I was alone. I cried for the loss of that person who understood me, who had maintained me and had given me back my life. I would miss the friendship, the companionship and the love given without reservation for so long. I let the tears fall as I remembered our life together and the wonderful gifts that it brought into my life.
The beginning of the end of my other life began as I watched Albert walk out of the room and down the hall to our bedroom. I waited until he had closed the door and then I let go. I began to cry, holding my head in my hands and giving vent to all of my grief. I cried until I was gasping for breath and then I lay down on the couch with my legs drawn up to my chest and cried some more. I couldn't keep it back any longer. It had been coming for a long time and now I was lost to it.
I cried for many reasons, the least of which was my guilt and sense of betrayal of my husband and our marriage, but also for the loss of our life together and the loss of my husband to his depression and his deceit.
In order to understand what happened to bring me to this place, I went back to the beginning.
My husband's name is Albert Bennington. Most people recognize him from the scandal several years ago when the company he worked for was implicated in a national security issue. It was in all the papers and even on national TV. I am his wife, Angelina or Angie as my friends call me. We've been married for just over 33 years now. I'm 53 and Al is 55. We have one daughter, Jennifer who is now 30 but we haven't seen or talked with her for over 10 years. She was adopted and was trouble from the time she was old enough to find ways to sneak out of the house. To make a long story short, she left home at 18, already pregnant and we had no contact with her after she left.
Al worked for a company that sold machine parts to companies off shore. It involved government contracts and there was always some kind of scam going between the people his company sold to and who ultimately got the parts. I never understood much about it and Al tried to keep me out of it for the most part. He had been with them for 14 years and had moved up rapidly until he was President and CFO. That was when the scandal broke and Al was implicated in a money laundering deal with an Iranian company.
The Justice Department filed suit and Al and several other men were indicted. The trial was nasty and blame was scattered far and wide. That trial lasted for over two years and during that time, Al tried to hide most of our assets in offshore accounts. The FBI was able to find and freeze many of those assets and money became a problem for us. We sold our home and cars and moved into a smaller place. Against Al's wishes, I finally decided to get a job. I needed the job for my own sanity and we needed it to bring in a little extra money. I found a job in a bank here in town, beginning as a teller and finally working my way up to agent, dealing with corporate accounts.
The trial caused Al to sink into a deep depression. He lost his job of course and he was not able to find another while he was under indictment. He spent most of our money on lawyers and our funds went from modest to nonexistent in less than two and a half years. At the end of the first trial, Al had lost almost all of our money and assets and his health had started to decline. By the time all of the appeals were finished, we were down to only my income and we were living in a small single level, two bedroom house outside the city limits. It was the best we could do.
During all of this, I stayed with Al and never even thought about a divorce. I was his wife and I had promised for better or worse and richer or poorer. That time was the worst and we became poor. But I stayed.
Unfortunately, our marriage began to suffer almost from the first when the indictments were handed down. Al and I had a good solid marriage and had few problems during our 30 plus years. Our sex life was not exciting but it was solid and we both enjoyed our times together. I had two different moods for making love; the first was what I called my pleasure mode and the other was my pain mode. Not really, but that's what Al and I called them. My pleasure mode was the one where I loved to make Al happy by giving him oral and then letting him lay back while I mounted him and made love to him. My pleasure was in making him happy. Often, I had no climax during these times but I didn't care. It made me happy. The pain mode was more typical for couples and Al took the lead. We enjoyed both equally.
We had settled into a routine where we had sex on those evenings we had been out to a party and almost always at least once during the weekend. Al loved to get up Saturday morning, go into the kitchen and bring back some chilled fruit. We would sit in bed and eat the fruit and then we would make love. We often did it more than once and sometimes as many as three times. Of course, at our age, that meant we stayed in bed most of the morning and part of the early afternoon. But it was our time and we both loved it.
As things went downhill during the trial, so did our love life. After the first trial, we had stopped making love and we only had sex once or twice a month. That was usually only if Al had a bad day and needed comforting. This led to pleasure sex. I didn't mind those times and actually looked forward to them since it was all I had to give Al. But after the trial and finally the appeals, sex stopped completely and Al never came to me for comfort again.
It was after the appeals and well into the third year after Al lost his job that his deep depression worsened even more. It came slowly and I never noticed it since I was gone most of the day at work. Al stayed home and did almost nothing but I didn't complain. I was hoping he would come out of it since he escaped jail time. I tried to get him into calling some of his contacts but if he did, he never mentioned it to me. It finally got so bad that I made him go to see a shrink. She listened to him and finally prescribed some anti depressants. I made sure he took them but I saw little difference. He was seeing her twice a week but we couldn't afford the money so he stopped going shortly after.
I was working at a bank in town that was fairly large. This bank had been expanding by buying some smaller banks and S & Ls. They were a good place to work since I was able to move up in the bank fairly fast. I had become an accounts manager by that time and I had four other people working for me. They were all young and very good. I enjoyed my job and looked forward to going to work. I was sure part of that was getting away from Al. Not that he cared: Al never even commented on my job and never asked about it.
I reported to a gentleman about my age that was very good looking and very nice to work for. His name was Haywood Meisner and we all called him Woody. He took the time to train me when I started and he was the one that had recommended me to management when it came time to pick a department head. He was divorced and lived alone in a very well to do neighborhood. At one time, Al and I would have been his neighbors. He had also been a good friend and a confidant during Al's trial and the time afterward. He was supportive and could always be counted on to lend me a sympathetic ear. I suspected he might have wished for more from me than friendship but he never pressed and I was dedicated to my husband and my marriage.
Al had been out of work for just over three years and in his depression for almost 15 months. He told me that he continued to take the pills the shrink prescribed and they at least kept him moving around most of the time. It was during one of our frequent fights one evening when Al surprised me by saying that he had talked with a friend of his who might have a job for him. I forgot what we were arguing about since I was excited and happy for him and tried to get him to talk about it to me but he just shrugged and said it was too early. He said he had a meeting with the guy in a day or so and then we could talk.
We went to bed that night and I thought that maybe Al would want to make love, but when I tried to initiate it, he just turned away and turned out the light. I was frustrated, angry and becoming bitter at his attitude. He seemed to have no interest in me, our marriage or sex any more. I cried but he seemed not to notice. I fell asleep frustrated and alone with my husband of 33 years lying beside me.
The following morning, I was up and getting ready for work while Al still slept. That wasn't unusual since he rarely got up much before noon. I did shake him awake to ask about his planned meeting that day and he just mumbled that it was later. He rolled over and put the pillow over his head so I left him alone. I finished dressing and went off to work. I usually ate a small breakfast at a diner near the bank since Al never bothered with breakfast.
As I was finishing my coffee, Woody came in and saw me sitting there. He walked over and surprised me by asking if he could join me. Surprise because I had never seen
Woody here before and because he had never asked me for even coffee before. I told him to join me by all means and he slid in across the table from me.
"I saw you sitting here and thought that we could spend some free time before work. We rarely see each other any other time than at work. I hope you don't mind?"
"Of course not Woody. You are most welcome. I could use some friendly company right now anyway."
"Trouble in paradise? I hope everything is OK with Albert?"
"Albert is the problem. Living with him is far from a paradise. I had hoped that things might be looking up for him last night, but I don't think he was being honest when he said he had a lead for a job. I think he was just trying to get me to back off."
Woody and I talked for the next 15 minutes until it was time to go in to work. As we got up to leave, he reached over and took my hand.
"I would like to continue with our discussion, that is if you would. Would you care to have dinner with me tonight?"
I was taken by surprise and didn't know what to say. I looked into his eyes but saw only friendship and concern there. For some reason, that gave me the confidence to say yes. We agreed to meet after work and walk to a restaurant about a block away. This way, we would not have to worry about our cars. I went to work feeling slightly giddy. I reminded myself that this was my boss and he was just being a good friend.
I didn't see Woody much during the rest of the day and I had lunch with one of the agents who worked for me. We went to the same diner that I used for breakfast and she and I talked a little about nothing until I told her of my dinner plans with Woody. She immediately perked up and began to question me about it.
"All right, give! What's up with you girl? Woody is a real cute guy and I'd give my right arm for a date with him. Is it serious? Talk to me!"
"Its just dinner and it is only a continuation of a discussion we started at breakfast this morning. He's just being friendly, that's all. I'm married and he knows that."
"So you had breakfast with him too? Way to go. I know he has the hots for you anyway. You have to know how he looks at you when you aren't looking. I wish he looked at me that way."
I admit I was taken by surprise. I had not thought of Woody that way and I certainly didn't notice him looking at me in any special way. However, the thought of it now made me just a little excited. I think it was because I had never considered Woody as anything other than an employer before. I didn't quite know why I thought of this, but I did.
"Stop talking that way. He's my boss and that's all. I'm going to dinner only because he asked me just to allow us to continue talking about things. We'll have dinner and then I'll go home to Al. That's all there is to it."
But I wasn't so sure. We finished lunch and went back to the bank but now I was conscious of Woody and did notice him looking my way several times. I decided that I was being silly and forgot it for the remainder of the day. Since I was a department head, I worked until 4:30 every day and was usually one of the last people out the door. Tonight, since we were going to dinner, I took my time and wasn't finished until just before 5:30.
At 4:30, my usual quitting time, I called home to tell Al that I was going to be late. The phone rang without him picking up and I left a message on the machine. I assumed he would finally get to look at it and thought no more about it. At 5:30 when I finished, I freshened up in the lounge and went looking for Woody. I found him in his office.
"Are you about through? I can leave anytime you're ready."
"Give me 10 minutes and we can go. Why don't you come in and sit down till I'm through." He waved me in and I sat down on his couch. He did have a nice office.
I watched him as he made some calls and finished some work on his computer. I was surprised to find myself looking at him as a man rather than as my boss. I was pleasantly surprised though, and wondered idly what he would be like outside of work. I was daydreaming when he brought me back to reality.
"Hello there? Anybody home? You were a thousand miles away. What were you thinking about?"
I certainly couldn't tell him that so I responded with an inane comment about work. I stood up and followed him out the door. I calmed myself down as he turned to lock the door. We left and walked down to the restaurant together. I was beginning to relax and enjoy his company as we were seated.
The dinner went well and I completely forgot my troubles as we talked about his life. He told me of his marriage and his ex wife as well as his children. It seems that he parted company with his ex on fairly good terms and his children were fully grown so no issues existed there. They all got together at holidays and they enjoyed their time together. He was particularly proud of his two grandchildren. I asked him why he got divorced and he simply said that they grew apart. I told him I was sorry but he said that they really knew some time earlier that they would finally part. He had no regrets.
He asked me about Al and I told him of my concerns. I talked to him as I had talked to no one else and told him my frustrations and concerns. I told him that I worried that Al was not going to come out of his depression and that I didn't know what was going to happen to us as a couple. I told him those things and more. I talked about our lack of a love life and how it used to be. Somehow, I wasn't embarrassed talking to him like that. I really spilled my heart to him and he listened attentively and with compassion. I felt lighter somehow as if I had just shed a great load.
We talked over dinner and then finally ran out of major issues over dessert. We shared a piece of cake and had coffee. I admit I was in a kind of glow by then. It was at that point that my life took a turn.
"Angie, this may not be the time or place but I have to tell you how much I admire you for what you have been through. I know the price you have paid but I also know that it has made you stronger."
"Thank you Woody. It has been a blessing to have you listen to me and let me share my burden with you. I really appreciate it."
"You're most welcome, but I did it for my own reasons. I find you to be a very attractive woman and I've watched you for some time. I'm very attracted to you."
I was shocked at his words but also flattered. I didn't quite know what to say so I just smiled at him and said nothing.
"I hope I'm not out of line. I don't want to give you the wrong idea but I would very much like to continue to see you outside of work. I would like to take you out socially if you would consider it. I know you don't get out and neither do I and we could really share some fun things like dancing or theater or other things that you might like."
Now I was really confused. On one hand, I knew that as a married woman, I should not accept his offer. But, with Al as he was, I had no other outlet and Woody was a very nice man and I thought safe as well.
"I would like that Woody. But since I am married, I would have to be sure it's OK with Al. He doesn't go out at all but I don't know how he would feel about me going out. I wouldn't do it without his knowledge."
"Of course. Please don't do anything that you are uncomfortable about. Just let me know when you're sure. OK?"
With that, we talked for a few more minutes and then Woody walked me back to my car. As I opened the door, he leaned over and kissed me on the mouth. I returned his kiss before it occurred to me what I was doing. I suddenly jerked back as Woody apologized.
"I'm sorry. That was a surprise to me as well. I hope I didn't offend you."
"No, no, it was just a surprise that's all. Well, goodnight."
With that I shut the door, started the car and drove home in complete confusion. I remembered the kiss with pleasure and some degree of tingling and tried to calm myself down. By the time I reached home, I had regained my composure and walked into the house calmly.
I looked for Al and found him upstairs in bed. It was only 8:15 and he was already in bed. I walked in to check on him and he was sound asleep. I changed my clothes and went back down stairs to check on things. I noticed my phone message had not been read and Al had eaten a bag of chips for supper. I sat down at the table and looked at the message light and the empty chips bag and started to cry.
I finally went to bed and wondered to myself what I was going to do. As I listened to Al breathe next to me, I finally decided that I wanted to be with Woody. I wanted some fun and excitement in my life and Al had decided some time ago to withdraw from me. I had no plans to do anything other than enjoy the things that Woody had mentioned. I wanted to go dancing and to the movies and maybe to a theater production. I wanted to spend an evening with friends playing cards or barbecuing outside. I wanted some fun. I finally fell asleep knowing that I was going to accept Woody's invitation and that I was not going to tell Al.
The days passed quickly after that. Woody and I met after work two or three times a week and we went to different places and did different things. Woody was a perfect gentleman and we had fun. I was delighted. My days at work went by so quickly and the evenings at home were too long. I talked to Al less and less and he went deeper into his depression, but I didn't care. Things at home didn't change but I did. I started to eat less and I began to exercise more. I was more inclined to dress nicely and I bought some new clothes that emphasized my figure. I even bought some new perfume and I began to wear more feminine undergarments. While I had never been heavy, I had begun to lose some muscle tone and I was dressing down, but that all changed. I started to receive some compliments at work and my coworkers noticed the change. I attributed it to a change in lifestyle and diet and exercise. Most of them thought different but said nothing.
Things went on this way for several months as I stopped worrying about Al and paid a lot more attention to myself. Still, all was innocent until one fateful night. Woody and I had just attended a Friday night concert in the open and the evening was perfect. As we strolled toward the parking lot and Woody's car, he grabbed my hand and held it. I started to resist and then let him hold my hand as I squeezed back. He looked at me and smiled.
"Did you enjoy the concert? I loved the music and being there with you."
"It was wonderful. I can still hear the music in my mind. I will be humming for days."
He laughed and then suddenly stopped. He turned my face to him and he kissed me solidly and passionately right there in the parking lot. I let him and after a brief pause, returned his passion. I put my arms around his head and pulled his mouth to mine. As we continued to embrace, he dropped his hand down my back and pulled me tightly to his body. I felt his arousal and enjoyed the feeling. It had been so long. I ground myself against him and I could feel his moans against my mouth. We stayed that way for a few more moments and then broke apart breathlessly.
"Will you come to my place tonight? I want you so badly. Please come home with me."
I didn't have to think any more. I knew what he wanted and I wanted it too. I wanted him to take me and make love to me and to make me feel like a woman again.
"Yes, I'll come with you. I want you to take me to your bed and I want to make love to you."
He let me go and we hurried to his car. As I got in, I began to have second thoughts but only for a second. I wanted this and I needed this. Al had left me essentially alone for far too long. I wanted him but he didn't want me. Woody did and I wanted him too. I let my self relax back against the seat and when Woody reached over to my hand, I took his and held it against my breast. He looked at me with lust in his eyes and it made me warm inside. I felt again that tingling between my legs and I almost cried at the joy I felt.
Woody parked the car and took me inside his small home. He let me look around as he put the garage door down and put the keys away. He moved around checking the little things to be sure everything was ok and then took me by the hand and led me down a small hallway to the master bedroom. It was small but neat and the bathroom was just big enough for a tub with an attached shower. I didn't care what it was. I just looked at the bed and went over to it and sat down on the edge. I watched Woody as he stood there looking at me. I smiled at him and slowly unbuttoned my blouse. I opened it and slid it off my shoulders. I reached around behind my back to unhook my bra. As it loosened, I shrugged my shoulders free of the straps and let the bra fall forward to my lap. I leaned back against the bed to display my breasts to Woody proudly. I had always had nice tits. They were 36D and still proud. As he gazed at me, I stood up to unzip my skirt. I let it fall to the floor, and stepped out of it and my shoes, leaving only my white satin panties. I had worn these especially for tonight, hoping that his would happen, but I ran out of courage at that point and sat back down looking at Woody.
Woody watched me as I did my impromptu strip for him and finally realized that he was still fully dressed. He shed his clothes in slightly faster time and with less finesse than I had but the result was the same. He stood there for a second in his boxer shorts and then went back into the bathroom. I heard the water run and then he came back out and turned out the light, leaving us with only a small nightlight on the dresser beside the bed. It was bright enough to see each other.
As Woody came toward me, I reached out and took him by the hand, pulling him to me. He started to sit beside me but I stopped him. I was in my pleasure mode and I wanted to please him. I reached out my hand and pulled his boxer shorts down to his ankles. I looked up to see his cock standing straight out in front of me. That's what I wanted. I took his cock in my hand and began to stroke it up and down until I could feel it growing larger and harder. At that point, I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. He let out a loud groan as I moved my tongue around the head of his cock and used my other hand to caress his balls. I began to move my head up and down the shaft as I sucked on him, wanting only to make him happy. I had missed this so much since Al had always wanted me to do this for him. I had learned to do it well and I began to enjoy it too so I certainly knew how to make Al, I mean Woody, happy.
As I began to increase my pace with Woody's cock in my mouth, he began to become excited and I knew he was close when he put his hand behind my head and began to move his hips forcing his cock in and out of my mouth. At this point, I just allowed him to set the pace while I closed my lips around his cock and kept a slight suction. My tongue was constantly moving around the head and under the shaft, increasing the pleasure for Woody. As he began to move faster and faster, I reached around behind his hips and helped him fuck my mouth. I was enjoying this as much as he was, but he couldn't tell. It was only a matter of moments before I felt him spray his semen on the back of my throat. I let it come and waited until he was finished before swallowing. I continued to suck making sure he was clean before letting him out. Al always loved me doing this and he would often stroke my hair as I finished. I waited for this touch but it didn't come. Then I remembered that Al wasn't here.
I noticed as Woody moved away that he was still hard. I was very surprised as Al and I usually had to entertain each other in different ways while he recovered for our next round of pleasure. I mentioned this to Woody who just smiled and whispered "little blue pill." I assumed he meant Viagra, which accounted for the water I heard just before Woody came back from the bathroom. Whatever, it was with enthusiasm that I pushed him back onto the bed and moved over him preparing to mount him.
This was the second part of my pleasure mode. Al just loved to watch my face as I mounted him and rode his wonderful cock until he was humping back so hard he almost bounced me off. I always laughed in glee as he came to a climax. I lovingly referred to him as my big bull. I mounted Woody but he tried to roll me over with him on top. I told him that I didn't want that and he finally lay back. I could tell he was disappointed but this was my pleasure mode and I wanted the pleasure to be for him, not for me.
I knelt over him and took him in my hand as I prepared to slide down onto him. I rubbed his head between my eager lips and inserted it enough to push down and allow it to enter me. Once I felt the head penetrate far enough, I put my hands on his chest and slid down until he was fully inside me. I held still long enough to feel him filling me up inside and to give him time to regain some control. I then began to bounce up and down, allowing his cock to slide all the way inside. I felt his balls slap against my cheeks when I came down. I took his hands and placed them on my breasts, hoping he would play with my nipples as I fucked him. This was part of the pleasure that Al and I shared. He would watch my face while fondling my nipples as I bounced up and down on his hard cock. It was wonderful with Al, but somehow not the same with Woody. He seemed to enjoy it and he was into it, but something was missing.
I rode him until I felt him tense up. I slowed down until he relaxed and then I began again. Woody seemed to be frustrated but I didn't want it to end just yet. I again brought him to the brink and again started to slow down, but this time Woody grabbed my hips and began to thrust up into me. I couldn't prevent him and I felt him begin to spray his sperm into me. I finally relaxed and let him cum. I was disappointed but I didn't tell him. He seemed to be fine and he was panting and smiling. He looked up at me and said something about feeling the best he had for a long time.
I still hadn't climaxed but then I didn't expect to. In pleasure mode, I rarely had a climax and that was how I preferred it. Woody wasn't content with that and wanted to bring me to a climax by mounting me missionary style and fucking me hard and fast. I submitted and he did his best but I finally faked it just to get him to stop. He seemed content then and we just lay together for a while. I finally looked at the clock and told him I had to leave. It was after 2 in the morning. I showered and dressed and finally left.
It was after 3:30 in the morning when I let myself into the house. It was dark and quiet and I assumed Al was in bed as usual. I looked around the kitchen and noticed that it was clean and tidy. As I sat down in the chair to think again about my night with Woody, I forgot my house, my kitchen and Al as I relived the passion and the physical abandon that I had experienced with another man other than my husband that night. While it was strange and not what I was expecting, it was still wonderful. I lost myself in memory for a while until I finally noticed the plain white note sitting between the salt and pepper shakers on the table. I just stared at it for a moment until it finally registered on my passion blinded mind. I reached for it and unfolded it to read a note from Al saying that he had left dinner in the oven for me. It should still be warm it said and that there was fresh fruit in the fridge for dessert.
I read the note with confusion. I looked again around the kitchen, noticing the oven light on indicating that the oven was set on warm. I opened the refrigerator to see a bowl of freshly cut fruit, now a little dark with oxidation. I felt a little thrill of anxiety as I looked again at the kitchen. When had I first noticed that the house was neat and clean when I came home? This wasn't the first time. I dropped into the chair and tried to get my mind to concentrate. Now that I thought about it, I had not noticed a mess in the kitchen or bedroom for several weeks now. I just didn't focus on the change before this.
As I began to think more clearly, I remembered that I had not had to go grocery shopping for some time and that Al had been eating solid meals and that there was usually something waiting for me when I came home late. When I cooked for us, Al usually ate later so I didn't really notice what or how much he was eating. I had been so caught up in the excitement of being with Woody that when I came home late, I didn't see the changes before this. Al had not said much to me but then I wasn't usually home with him anymore. He had never asked me what I was doing and I had decided some time ago that I wouldn't tell him.
When had it changed? What happened? I had no idea but I began to feel a tightness in my stomach that had nothing to do with a lack of food. I had just assumed Al wasn't paying attention to my comings and goings and I had assumed he had no idea of my evenings and sometimes weekends with Woody. We had not talked much at all lately but now that I thought about it, maybe that was because I was rarely home anymore before Al went to bed. Tonight was a perfect example. Here it was after 3 AM and I hadn't even called, telling him I was going to be out so late. As a matter of fact, I hadn't told Al anything about what I was doing for some months. How had it all happened? Suddenly, I didn't know anymore.
I went into our bedroom with some trepidation but Al was sound asleep. He would not be aware of me coming to bed so late. He had been sleeping so deeply that he never noticed me. But tonight as I slipped into bed beside him, he rolled over and said something about having a good night and then rolled back over. I was rigid, waiting for I knew not what, but Al quickly fell back into his typical deep sleep. I just stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep that never came. I gave up as dawn began to lighten the windows.
I rose early and proceeded to fix coffee for myself. After the night just past, I needed the caffeine badly. I had no idea of what to expect when Al woke. He was obviously quite different now than he had been and I had no idea of how long he had been that way. I had clearly been neglecting my husband and had been for some time. How much had he noticed and when did he begin to see what I was doing? I wondered what I could say to him about my activities lately and especially last night.
It was just after 8:00 when Al walked into the kitchen. He looked at me and then asked for coffee. I rose and poured him a cup and brought it to him as he sat down. I went back to my chair and just watched him for a few minutes. I was amazed at the difference in his countenance. It was remarkable. He had shaved, his eyes were bright and alert and his posture was so much like the old Al. When had this happened?
"What time did you come in last night? I tried to wait up for you but I didn't know where you had gone or who you were with so I just left your dinner in the oven. Did you find my note?"
Again, the difference was amazing. This was the old Al! This wasn't the man I had been living with for the past two to three years. What and when did this happen?
"Yes, I did. Thanks for that. I went to the concert on the green with some of the girls last night. We went back to one of their houses and I lost track of time. I'm sorry I didn't leave a number for you but I didn't think you would notice."
"You're probably right, I wouldn't have earlier. But things have changed some and I understand that you have had to do for yourself for some time now. I have no right to ask about your comings and goings. I'm sorry."
His attitude of contrition was almost enough to make me begin to cry. After what I had done last night, he didn't feel he had the right to ask me about it. I had to get out of here now before I lost my control. I rose and took my cup to the sink before responding.
"No, I should have let you know my plans. I'm sorry and it won't happen again. I'm going to get dressed."
I went out of the kitchen before I lost it. I went into the bathroom, shut the door and sat down on the floor, shivering. I knew what was happening. The sudden onset of overwhelming guilt for cheating on my husband. Not just last night: that was the final step, the first steps taken weeks ago with the first date with Woody without telling Al. I remained there in the bathroom on the floor for at least an hour, trying to reconcile my feelings of guilt, desperation, deceit and despair. I had to decide what to do and I had to do it soon.
It was about two hours later when I came out to talk to Al. He was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper and I noticed that the dishes had been done. He looked up with a smile as I came in. I looked into the face that I had lived with for so many years but this time saw the man that I married rather than the man that he had been for the past three years. My heart leaped at what I saw. I had loved this man for the better part of my adult life. I still did! That made what I was about to do so much harder.
"Al, I have to talk to you. If you will, I would just like to tell you what I have to say without interruption. Is that OK? Please?"
He put the paper down and looked at me with his complete attention. He just smiled encouragingly at me and told me to go ahead. I sat down at the table across from him. I began with a heavy heart but with conviction that this had to be done.
"I want to tell you that I am thrilled by who you are now. It is clear that you've made some remarkable strides and that you're better than you have been for years. I don't know what happened and I'm sorry that I've been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn't even notice. That is unforgivable of me and I'm so sorry."
Al tried to interrupt me but I asked him not to. I took his hand in mine and raised it to my lips before continuing.
"I tried for so long to support you after the trials and appeals but you began to withdraw into your own world and I felt you slipping away from me. I didn't know what to do but I had my work and my friends and I just turned to them for support. That was my first mistake. I turned away from you."
"It was about two months ago that I began to spend time with Woody, my boss at work. He is divorced and alone and I was also alone for the most part and we began to do things together. We went to plays and movies and sometimes dancing and things like that. It was always just as friends and he was always a perfect gentleman. That is not the problem. The problem was that I didn't tell you and I began to try to hide it from you."
I watched Al as I told him my story. He didn't seem to be concerned yet and I saw understanding and sadness there but no doubts. I wasn't sure how he was going to react to the next part, but I had to go forward.
"Last night, we went to a concert. I know I lied to you about going with the girls, but I didn't. I went with Woody. The concert was wonderful, the night was so perfect, and we were so happy afterwards that when he asked me to go home with him, I agreed."
I glanced up to his face to see the beginning of understanding where this was going. I proceeded before I lost my nerve.
"I spent the night with him and he made love to me. I let him and I encouraged him and I did things with him that I had only done with you before then. I'm so sorry that I did it and I'm sorry that I had to tell you. I was unfaithful and I betrayed our marriage. I'm so sorry."
Now that it was out, I felt relief. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I had to tell him. He was my husband and I knew that I still loved him as much now as I did before he became sick. I was frightened of what would happen but I had to let him know the truth.
Albert said nothing after I finished. He looked at me with sadness and I saw tears begin to form in his eyes, but still he said nothing. He looked as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't seem to get the words out. He finally pushed himself up from the table and walked out of the kitchen, down the hall and into our bedroom.
That brings us back to the present. That's how I came to be in this place. I had done the unthinkable: I had cheated on the husband who had deserted me and left me behind in favor of his depression and I did it willingly. I had enjoyed myself last night and I remember wanting only to make Woody happy. I wanted to please him just as I had always pleased my husband before.
But today, the man I cheated on wasn't there any more. The man I had to face was my husband of 33 years and not the disinterested, depressed shell of a man that he had been just a few weeks ago. He had been back for some time, but I just didn't notice. I had been taking care of me instead. Now I had to tell him that I had betrayed our marriage and turned my back on the man I married because he was sick and I couldn't honor my pledge of 'in sickness and in health'.
I went out the door and into my car and I drove back to Woody's home. He opened the door as I started up the walk and came out to meet me. When he saw the look on my face, he gathered me into his arms without a word and held me as I cried into his chest. He held me there in the middle of his yard and let me cry. I sobbed so hard I was shaking but he didn't say a word. He just waited until I was calm enough to tell him what happened. He didn't flinch when I told him that I had confessed to Al about last night. He simply let me talk.
He asked me what I was going to do. I told him honestly that it was up to my husband. I told him that I loved Al as much as I had ever loved him and that I was frightened to death that I was going to lose him. I told him that I didn't know what I would do if Al left me. He listened and then he said something that I had not expected.
"You know that I love you, don't you? I have loved you since I first saw you. If he leaves you, I would be there for you and I would love to have you as my wife."
I didn't know what to say, but I had to be honest with him. I didn't love him that way and I could never consider marrying anyone other than Al. If Al left me, I would be alone because I would never remarry. I could never love another man like I loved Al. I told him this and I could see the sadness and disappointment on his face but he accepted what I told him. He even said that he would still marry me if I would have him and maybe I could grow to love him. I smiled sadly but told him that it would never work for me.
I went home to face Al but found him to be strangely calm. He was sitting in the family room watching TV and didn't look up as I entered. I went in and sat down in my chair and watched him for a few moments. I finally got up the nerve to talk to him.
"Don't you have anything to say to me? Aren't you angry with me for what I did? I won't blame you if you want to yell at me and tell me how stupid I am for what I did. I just need to know what you're feeling right now."
"I don't know what I'm feeling. I am angry, yes, but I also know the incredible pressure I've put you under these past three years. If you felt the need to go find someone else, I can understand. I hate it, but I do understand."
"But I had no excuse to do what I did. I made a promise to you 33 years ago and I should have had the courage to either keep it or tell you I wanted out. I did neither. I am ashamed of what I did and I don't expect you to forgive me. I can't forgive myself."
"You shouldn't feel that way. I pushed you into doing this thing. I know that and I accept the blame for it. You are a beautiful woman and I am not surprised that you found someone else."
"You don't understand. I didn't find someone else. I found you again and you are all I ever wanted. I love you more than my own life. Woody was someone who reminded me of the woman I used to be and the woman that you married. I can't tell you why I let it go to the extent it did. I didn't want that and I never even thought about it for months while he and I were doing things."
"You don't have to do this. I told you I understand. You and I haven't been intimate for years. I don't blame you for looking elsewhere. I don't."
"Please don't excuse me for what I did. I was wrong and you should be angry that I betrayed you. You never left me even when things fell apart. You were sick and needed me and I wasn't there. You know that's true so don't make excuses for me. I can't and I won't! I was wrong and I will never forgive myself."
Al and I talked for the next few hours. I was becoming frustrated that he wouldn't get angry and treat me the way I felt I should be treated. He should be angry, even furious but he remained calm and tried to accept all of the blame for my deceit. I wouldn't let him. But as the hours went by, I began to wonder if I had finally killed all of the love he used to have for me and that was why he couldn't get angry. He didn't care! The more we talked, the more I came to believe that. I finally got up and went into the bedroom to cry to myself. I knew I had lost everything.
For days, we talked to each other but came to no agreements and no understanding. Al continued to be calm and not push blame on me and I continued to expect him to lash out at me in anger and disappointment, but it didn't happen. We lived together but not with each other. I became despondent and my work began to suffer. Woody made excuses for me and finally suggested that I take some time off. I agreed and went home to try to salvage what I could from my broken marriage.
Al told me one day soon after that he had to go out of town for several days for a meeting with a prospective employer. I wanted to go with him but he declined, saying that he was going to be moving around some and that he would have no time to spend with me. I finally agreed to stay home while he went.
I knew something was wrong by the end of the next day when I hadn't heard from him. He hadn't called and when I called his cell phone, it went straight to voice mail. I continued to try to contact him but with no success. It was three days later when the doorbell rang. I answered to find a strange man standing there with a briefcase in one hand and an envelope in the other. I asked him his business.
"Are you Mrs. Angelina Bennington? Wife of Albert Bennington?"
"Yes, I am. Who are you and what do you want?"
"My name is Henry Green and I am an attorney representing Mr. Bennington. May I come in for a few minutes? I have something here for you from your husband. It is important that I explain some things to you."
I let him in with some confusion and some foreboding. He went directly into the kitchen and put his briefcase and the envelope on the table in front of him. He was looking at me, waiting for me to join him. I slowly went in and sat down, expecting I knew not what.
"Where is my husband Mr. Green? Where is he and why are you here?"
"First, Mr. Bennington has left the country but has hired me to take care of some very important details. He wanted you to have this first."
Left the country? What did he mean? I was trying to process what he had told me when he handed me the envelope. I opened it to find a divorce agreement inside already signed by Al with his signature notarized. I couldn't read it with my eyes full of tears but the man took it from me and began to read the conditions.
"Item 1: I relinquish all rights to the property listed below and transfer those rights to my wife, Angelina Bennington.
Item 2: I agree to the sum of $1500 a week to be deposited in the bank of Angelina's designation: this money to be used at her discretion.
Item 3: I agree to pay the balance on the mortgage of $32,500 now existing on the property listed below in full by the last day of the current month.
Item 4: I relinquish all claims on any of the properties or possessions remaining at the property listed below. All properties are given without condition to Angelina Bennington.
These are the only conditions of the divorce agreement requested by Mr. Bennington. The property referred to is this property and all it's possessions. Are these conditions satisfactory?"
I just nodded my head yes in shock. Where had Al gotten the money to pay off the mortgage and to give me a weekly amount like that? I was confused as well as devastated.
"Mr. Bennington made an agreement with the Federal Government to provide information on certain transactions in exchange for releasing some of his offshore accounts. I can tell you that those accounts I am familiar with do not amount to much more than he has offered to you. They are sufficient to guarantee the promised amounts but not much more."
He then opened his briefcase and handed me several photographs of Woody and I while in his apartment the night I betrayed our marriage. I looked at them in shock. How had these been taken and who took them? They were so close that the photographer had to be standing right next to us, but I knew that wasn't true. I was clearly shown in lewd positions in many of them.
I looked up in humiliation at the man watching me. He said nothing and his expression was bland.
"Mr. Bennington asked me to give these to you and to tell you that the negatives have been destroyed. You have all existing copies. In case you are wondering, a camera in the picture frame Mr. Meisner keeps on his dresser took the pictures. It was installed as part of the observation of you and Mr. Bennington. Since you choose to tell him of this indiscretion, Mr. Bennington had no reason to keep them."
"Finally, Mr. Bennington asked me to give you this CD. It is sealed and I do not know what is on it. It is for your eyes only."
"If you need to contact me for anything or if you need anything that isn't provided, please call me at this number."
With that, he handed me a card, closed his briefcase and told me that he could show himself out. He left me there with my life in a mess and my marriage gone. I sat there in my kitchen staring at the photos scattered across my kitchen table showing me as the slut I became for that night as well as the divorce papers resulting from my behavior. I couldn't understand what had become of my life. I knew what I had done but I never in my wildest dreams could have considered the consequences that I had reaped.
I couldn't face whatever was on the CD then. I had to do something or go crazy. I ran out to my car and just drove around for hours. I had no destination, no real friends other than Woody and no one I could confide in. I was so alone and I just now realized it. It was several hours later that I drove back home, not knowing what I was going to do. I pulled into our driveway but couldn't seem to find the energy to get out of the car. I sat there for the longest time but finally knew I couldn't postpone it any longer. I went in to listen to the CD and to Al's final words.
I fixed myself a cup of strong coffee and got my CD player and put it on the kitchen table, the table where Al and I had discussed so many things. The table that held the little note telling me that Al had returned to me. He had fixed me dinner. I noticed too late.