Well, yeah, I got drunk last night, but this is ridiculous. I've heard of people seeing pink elephants. I've heard of people having tremors from too much booze. I've even heard of people hearing strange voices in their heads, but they weren't playing with a full deck.
Was I? I couldn't be, but I didn't feel any different than I normally did when I had a hangover. <Just who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my head?> I asked mentally.
<My name is Sarah Jenkins and I don't know what I'm doing in your head. Give me a break, will you? I'm just as confused as you are.>
<How did you get in here, or am I just going crazy?>
<You may already be crazy for all I know. You're certainly not very polite.>
<Look, No one asked you to invade my mind. How did you get in here anyway?>
<I have no idea how I got in your mind. The last thing I remember is that I was... I was in an auto accident.>
<So, are you like trying to take over my brain and my body or something?>
<No... I mean I don't know any more than you do and I'm just as shook up. We need to try to figure out what's happening here. Who are you anyway?>
<I'm Andy James. I'd have thought you'd have known who I was, since you came into my mind, uninvited.>
<Believe me, I'm just as sorry to be here as you are to have me. No, that's not quite right. If my body was killed in the accident, then I'm very glad I'm here, even if you don't want me.>
<Okay, let's try to figure this out. Where were you when you had your accident?>
<I was coming down Preston Road, near Fremont Street. I was just driving along, minding my own business when some idiot came shooting out of a side street and hit me right on the driver's side door. I remember seeing his headlights and I remember the sound of the crash. That's the last I remember until I awoke in your brain.>
<When did this happen?>
<It was around 2:00 AM on August 13, 2005.>
<That was last night. Really this morning. At that time, I was passed out at a party in the house on the corner of Fulmar and Preston.>
<I think it was probably Fulmar that the idiot shot out of. You said you were passed out. Had you been drinking?>
<Big time. I think I had put away most of a fifth of whiskey.>
<Do you usually drink that much?>
<It's none of your business, but I usually don't drink much at all.>
<Why were you drinking so much last night?>
<Again, it's none of your business.>
<I beg to differ with you. I don't know if I'm stuck in your body permanently or not, but if I am, anything you do to your body is my business.>
<Okay, I was drinking because my girlfriend dumped me.>
<Why did she dump you?>
<She said I was a nerd. Hell, I've always been a nerd. She knew that when she started dating me.>
While we were carrying on this mental discourse, I had gotten up and swallowed a half a dozen aspirin and drank two large glasses of water.
<Is this your apartment?> Sarah asked.
<It's a pig sty. How can you live like this?>
<The way I live is my business. I don't need some damned woman telling me how I should live.>
<Apparently it's my business too, now. Obviously you need someone telling you how to live.>
<Would you just shut up? I need some time to think about this.>
<Okay, just a couple of questions, then I'll leave you alone for a while. First off, how old are you?>
<I'm nineteen and I'm a sophomore in computer science at UC Berkley.>
<Okay, that answers questions one and two. Are you married or do you have a girlfriend?>
<Neither. My girlfriend just dumped me, remember? That's why I got drunk.>
<Ah. Okay, let's both of us think this over. I don't know if this is permanent, but if it is, we're going to have to learn to live together.>
<Just shut up for a while. If you're still here in an hour, let me know and maybe we can talk some more.>
Okay, I didn't plan to, but I went to sleep. It was nearly three hours later when I awoke. I felt a lot better and my head didn't ache as badly. For a moment I completely forgot about my unwanted visitor.
<Hi, Andy. Feeling better?> Sarah asked.
<Yeah, except that you're still here. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude, but how would you have liked it if someone had invaded your mind?>
<I've been thinking about that and I can understand how you feel. I really am sorry.>
<I don't guess it's your fault. This isn't going to be easy though. Do you realize how hard it is going to be for me to sit down and take a shit when I know you're in there, watching me?>
Sarah giggled. I'll swear she did. The funny thing was, I could feel the giggle as well as hear it mentally. I didn't give her a chance to make a snide comment. <How old are you and what did you do before your accident?>
<I am... or was an instructor in computer science at Berkley. I was twenty eight years old. Say, can we turn on the TV or something so we can find out about the accident?>
<Sure. They usually don't talk about accidents on the news though, unless it was something spectacular. Maybe we should go out and get a newspaper.>
<That's probably best. You'll have to put some clothes on first though.>
<Yeah, I also have to take a pee. I don't suppose I could talk you into closing your eyes while I pee, could I?>
Sarah giggled again. <If I closed my eyes, I'd be closing your eyes as well. Then, you'd probably paint the entire bathroom. Besides, I'm going to see your cock someday. It might as well be today.>
I couldn't refute her logic and I really did have to go. I went into the bathroom and went about my business. When I had finished and had tucked myself away, Sarah said, <You don't have anything to be ashamed of, Andy. You have a lovely cock. I wish my boyfriend's had been as nice.>
I didn't know if she was teasing me or not, but somehow I didn't think she was. I brushed my teeth and finished dressing. I walked to a little restaurant that was close by and bought a newspaper from the machine that was out front.
My stomach was feeling better, so I went in and ordered breakfast. I wasn't too surprised when I saw that the accident had made page one of our local rag. It led off by saying that Sarah Jenkins, an instructor at UC Berkley had been killed in an auto accident early this morning.
<Awh, shit!> Sarah said. <I had a nice body too. This really sucks, you know. My own body was killed, now I'm sharing a mind with someone who doesn't want me there.>
<Sarah, it's more that I was just surprised and a little scared that someone had invaded my mind than it was that I didn't want you.>
I know it wasn't much, but I really didn't know what to say to her. The article went on to list Sarah's achievements during her twenty eight short years on earth. I was surprised to learn that the driver of the other car had been at a frat party, too. The paper said he had a blood alcohol level of .21. It also said they had found traces of cocaine in his blood.>
Sarah was quiet for several minutes, then she asked, <Did you know the guy?>
<His picture looks familiar. I may have been in a class with him or something, but I didn't know him.>
<You said you had been drinking a lot at the party you went to. How did you get home from the party?> Sarah asked.
<I have no idea. Some of my friends must have brought me. I don't remember anything after I was sitting on a sofa and drinking one last shot of whiskey.>
<Thank God for friends, > Sarah said.
<So, what do we do now?> I asked.
<Well, I was thinking about this as you were sleeping. Whether I'm here permanently or not, you have to go on with your life as if I wasn't here. You can't let anyone know I'm here, or we'd end up in the loony bin.>
<Yeah, I'm smart enough to realize that. This isn't going to be easy though. I'm not very active sexually, but I know if I had ended up in your body and you started blowing your boyfriend, I'd have gotten physically ill. How are you going to feel if I get lucky with a girl?>
Another giggle from Sarah. I was really getting to like her giggles, both the sound I heard in my brain and the feeling I got through my entire body.
<I was bi-sexual, Andy. A little carpet munching wouldn't bother me at all. I've never had a cock before, so I have no idea how that will feel.>
<Pretty damned good, > I laughed to myself. <Well, it's not something we have to worry about right away, anyway. I think I told you my girlfriend dumped me.>
<Yeah, only about four or five times. That's something we'll have to work on. It should be you dumping a girlfriend, not her dumping you.>
<If you could help me in that respect, maybe it won't be so bad having you in my brain after all.>
<Stick with me, honey, and I'll get you more pussy than you ever imagined. One thing though. From now on, it's safe sex or no sex.>
<Yeah, well, I guess I could live with that.>
<I'd rather live with safe sex than die with wild, abandoned sex.>
We did a lot of experimenting that evening. We got to the point where Sarah could feel everything I was feeling, both physically and emotionally. At first, it felt like an invasion of privacy, but then it just got to feeling natural.
Somehow, Sarah still had all of her memories. Neither of us knew how.
Terry Jacobs called me that evening and asked how I was doing. I remembered Terry had been at the party last night, so I asked him how I had gotten home.
Terry laughed. "Me and three other guys loaded you into your car and I drove you home. We got you in and flopped you on your bed. I put your keys on the kitchen counter and left."
I thanked him profusely. Terry is a nice guy. He was my roommate last year and we had actually become friends.
It was nearly midnight when Sarah said, <Our body needs sleep. I'm afraid you abused it pretty badly last night. After learning all I have about you, Andy, I just wish I could kiss you goodnight.>
God, I wished the same thing.
When I awoke Sunday morning, I immediately looked for Sarah. She was there, but she was still sleeping. I laid there for a while, musing about what had happened. At first I had been angry that my mind had been invaded. Then I became resigned to it. Now I would miss her terribly if she was gone.
Is it possible to fall in love with someone who doesn't even have a body? I think it was happening to me. The only problem is, there's really nothing I can do about it.
<Good morning, sunshine, > Sarah said as she mentally stretched. <Did you sleep well? I slept like a baby.>
<Yeah, I slept well. As you can tell, I feel pretty good this morning.>
<What would you think about starting running and maybe start an exercise program?> she asked.
<I've never been much of a guy for exercise, > I said.
<We've got a good body here, Andy. If we treat it right, it could last us another eighty years. Treat it badly and we'll be dead by the time we're sixty.>
<Yeah, I guess you're right. Let's start out easy though. Maybe I'll get used to it and not give it up in a week.>
<We'll start out easy, but I have to warn you, I'm going to nag you to keep it up. Someday you'll thank me for it.>
I had to smile. I'll bet she could be a nag.
<Also, I want to work on integrating our brain a little more. I don't want you to give up your personality and I don't want to lose mine. It would be nice if I could share your memories and you could share mine though.>
<I don't know about that. There are some things I'd just as soon you didn't know about.>
<We all have things like that, Andy. The problem is, with you and me, we're going to be closer than any married couple ever was. No matter what you've done in the past and no matter what you've thought, it all went into making you who you are today. From what I've seen so far, I kind of like that guy.>
So, we started the day by walking three miles. It didn't kill me, but my body sure felt it. Sarah and I both groaned as we sat back down on my sofa.
<You see, this is why I don't exercise, > I said. <I get so tired and sore, that I just don't feel like doing it a second time.>
<That's because our body is so badly out of shape.>
<When did it become our body?> I asked.
<When I moved in.>
<Sarah, you know. If I had to have someone else move into my mind, I'm glad it was you.>
<If I had to move into someone else's mind, I'm glad it was yours. Now, we need to try to work on this sharing memories thing.>
<Actually, I have a test in circuit theory tomorrow. I need to do some studying for that.>
<Piece of cake, > Sarah said.
<Maybe for you. Me, I need to study.>
<If you could share my memories you wouldn't need to worry. Even if you can't at that point, I can help you through the test.>
<Wow! I never thought of that. Okay, lady, lead on.>
Actually, we did figure out how to access each other's memories that afternoon, while keeping our personalities separate. My circuits class the next day was a snap. Sarah was actually qualified to teach the class. I knew before I even left the room that I had aced the test.
<You know, Sarah, classes are going to be rather boring from now on. If I already know everything before I go into a class, I'm going to be bored out of my mind while everyone else struggles to get through it.>
<Not really. I wouldn't mind a review on some things and if it's something we have down cold, we can always talk to each other during class.>
I got a big smile thinking about that. <Yeah, and if you say something funny, I'll look like an idiot if I break out laughing.>
<You know, Andy, this could actually be fun. I know it's inconvenient for you and a little embarrassing at times, but think of all of the possibilities.>
<Well, Sarah. I'm getting used to your being here. I feel like I'm really getting to know you. It's a shame that if this hadn't happened, I'd have never gotten to know you at all because of the age difference. That would have been my loss.>
<Mine too. I'm finding you to be a lot more mature than I ever thought a nineteen year old could be. Even though you are a handsome man, before the accident, I'd have never even given you a second look.>
<Well, it's nice that if we have to share a brain and body, we can at least respect each other and that we can get along.>
<Amen to that. I wonder how many people this has happened to. If it has happened before, they probably ended up in an insane asylum.>
It took a while for us to become fully integrated, but I truly liked Sarah and she liked me. We worked together to make it work. We had some strange times as well, like the time I was thinking about something else and was letting Sarah control our body and we ended up walking into the ladies' room in the student union. At least the ladies in there were a lot more mature than a bunch of high school girls would have been. They didn't start screaming or anything, but there were a lot of laughs at my expense before I could beat a hasty retreat.
By the end of the second week after the accident, I had fallen in love with Sarah. I hadn't meant to and I certainly wasn't going to tell her about it, but I'm sure she could feel it.
We did continue with getting our body in shape. For the next few mornings, we just walked. We tried to finish our three miles a little faster each day. By the end of our walk on the third day, we weren't really even tired.
The next day we started jogging instead of walking. The first couple of days we just jogged the three miles, then as we became accustomed to the jogging, we started increasing the distance. Today, we did six miles and we felt good when we got back to our apartment.
<Andy, > Sarah said as we were eating breakfast, <you complained about your lack of a sex life, but in the two weeks we've been together, you haven't tried to do anything about it. You can't find a partner unless you get out and mix with people.>
<I know, but I never do well in social situations. If I meet a girl I'm interested in, I get all tongue tied.>
Sarah gave me her wonderful giggle, then she said, <That's something I could help with. When we meet a new girl, let me do the talking until you become comfortable with her.>
<Yeah, but then if she was interested in me, it'd actually be you she was interested in. I'd just be along for the ride.>
<Would that be all bad? You'd still get the ride.>
<Look, Sarah, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but during the last couple of weeks, I've fallen in love with you. I really don't want another woman.>
<Yeah, I've fallen in love with you too. If I had a body of my own, I'd never want you to make love to any other body. As it is, I don't have a body. If you make love to a woman, I can pretend I'm her and you can pretend she's me. At least that would be some kind of outlet.>
I had to smile. <I don't know if I could do that. The way I have you pictured in my mind, you are the most beautiful creature who ever walked on this earth. No other woman I could ever be with could live up to the way I have you pictured.>
<Honey, I guess I would have been considered pretty, but I certainly wasn't beautiful. Tits are tits and a pussy is a pussy. I'm sure our body would enjoy sliding into a nice, hot, wet pussy. Why don't we at least give it a try?>
I was hesitant. I mean, for some reason it just felt like I'd be cheating on Sarah if I did make it with another woman. <What if I fell in love with the woman? How would you feel about that?>
<I'm not sure. I don't think it would bother me though. The love I feel for you and the love you feel for me is beyond anything we could ever feel for anyone else.>
Wow, she had me there. The love I felt for Sarah was beyond anything I had ever felt before. I didn't want to cheapen it though.
Okay, so I let her talk me into going to a party. It was a Friday night and there were always parties to go to on Friday nights. I hadn't gone to many of them because of my lack of verbal skills when I met a pretty girl.
This party was being given by the other roommate I had when I was a freshman. Ron Silvers was a nice guy and had been a great roommate. He was also a party animal. He played keyboard and one of the first things he did when he started his freshman year was to organize a band.
The Silverstones had taken off like they had half a dozen hits in the top forty. What with band members coming around all the time and Ron dragging me to hear them play, I had just barely managed to survive my freshman year. Ronnie saw me almost as soon as we had walked in. He came over, smiling from ear to ear. "Andy, it's good to see you. How have you been?"
"I'm doing great, Ron. I'm also getting a lot better grades since I'm not living with you," I laughed.
"Awh, but you're not having nearly as much fun," he grinned.
"True. How's the band doing?"
"We're getting more gigs than we can handle. We've even got one guy who's talking about a record deal. Who knows, someday you may be seeing your old roomy's name in lights."
Someone yelled for Ron and he had to take off. He told me to have fun and he'd talk to me later. <Ooh, he's a hunk, > Sarah said.
<Kill the estrogen, honey. This is a testosterone night.>
God, I love her giggle.
We mingled for a while and then I saw a girl who was in one of my classes, sitting by herself. I told Sarah I knew the girl and she said, <She's a pretty girl. Let's go talk to her.>
Okay, in for a penny, in for a pound. I let Sarah know the girls name and what class we were in, then told her to go for it.
"Hi, Lori," I heard my voice say as we walked up to her. "Is this seat taken?"
"Oh, hi, Andy. No, Bob McCauley was sitting here, but I think he's gone for good. I have that effect on guys, I say something and they're gone for good."
"Not true, Lori. You said something to me and I'm not gone."
Lori giggled and said, "Just give me a few minutes. So, how are you doing in our circuits class?"
"I aced the test a couple of weeks ago. It really seems to be falling into place for me now. How about you?"
"I got a 'B'. I guess that's not too bad. I'm really more into programming than I am into hardware anyway."
"I was kind of the same way, but now the hardware part seems to be clicking for me. Maybe we could study together some time. It might help us both."
Lori gave me a big smile and said, "That would be nice. I could use the help."
Sarah noticed Lori was holding an empty beer bottle in her hand, so she asked, "Could I get you another beer, Lori?"
Lori smiled again. "That would be nice. I'm kind of a lightweight when it comes to drinking, though, so I can't have too many. I'll save your seat."
As we walked over to get two beers, Sarah said, <This girl already has a crush on you, Andy. It'd be easy to bed her and leave her, but she's too nice to do that to. What do you want to do?>
<God, I don't know. I've always liked Lori. We've only talked a few times, but she seems intelligent and she is certainly pretty. What makes you think she's interested in me?>
<You didn't notice the way she looks at you? God! There's no wonder men don't get laid half as much as they'd like. Try noticing how she reacts. Notice how she makes eye contact. Notice how she seems to brighten up when we get close when we walk back.>
<Okay, I'll take your word for it. Lori is a nice girl. I don't want to just fuck her and forget her. You tell me where we should go from here.>
We were nearly back to Lori when Sarah said with one of her patented giggles, <You'd better watch out, stud. You may end up with a wife out of this.>
Lori smiled as we got close. "Lori," my voice said, "please don't take offense at this, but you look absolutely stunning this evening. Did you do something different with your hair?"
Lori smiled and said, "No, it's probably the makeup, or lack of it. My roommate has had me convinced I should be wearing makeup. I've tried to be sparing with it, but she always tries to make me put on more. She was out this evening, so I left it off completely. Do you like me this way?"
"Absolutely. You look fresh and clean and natural. Tell your roomy to go to hell. This is a much better look for you."
"I'll do that. So, when would you like to get together to study?"
"How about tomorrow? I'm going to be free all afternoon. Maybe we could go to dinner or something afterwards."
Lori was beaming as she said, "I'd like that."
<Like fish in a barrel, > Sarah said. "Why don't you come over to my place around one? We could spend the entire afternoon together. If you're having any problems in any of your other classes, maybe I could help with them too."
"It probably WOULD be better if we studied at your place. That way we could avoid the makeup queen."
We talked for a couple of hours. I gave her directions to my apartment and she said she wouldn't have any trouble finding it.
I learned a lot about Lori and we told her a lot about me. The more I talked with her, the more I liked her. I think Sarah was feeling the same way. It was nearly midnight when I asked Lori if I could walk her back to her dorm.
She readily agreed.
We continued talking as we walked. I found I was doing most of the talking now, but Sarah was still involved. <If she looks up at us when we get to her room, kiss her softly, but lovingly, > Sarah told me. <If she doesn't look up at us, let it go until the next time.>
When we got to her door, Lori looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you, Andy. I really enjoyed talking with you this evening."
"I enjoyed talking with you too, Lori," I said, then I put my arms around her and kissed her as sweetly and as lovingly as I knew how. Lori melted against me and we just held each other for a couple of minutes.
Finally, Sarah took over again and said, "I hope we can do this again, Lori, but right now, I think I'd better leave before I do something that would embarrass both of us."
Lori smiled, so I gave her a quick, soft kiss and left her at her door.
<She really is a sweet girl, isn't she?> I asked as we walked back toward our apartment.
<Very sweet, > Sarah said. <She's also very vulnerable and very inexperienced. If she's not a virgin, I'd be very surprised. We need to be very careful not to hurt her.>
<Yeah, but it's you I love, Sarah.>
<Andy, my love, you can love more than one person at the same time. We have it beat into our heads all of our lives that we can only love one person so we start believing it, but it's just not true. Besides, loving me is a form of narcissism. It's like loving yourself. I think it would be quite easy for both of us to fall in love with Lori.>
<Maybe you're right, love. You are definitely more wise than I am when it comes to matters of the heart. So, where do we go from here?>
<Just let it happen, Andy. Think about how you are feeling about Lori right now. I know I have feelings for her already. Is it love? It very well could be. If you examine your feelings, I'll bet you're feeling the same way.>
When we got back to the apartment, we got ready and went to bed. <You know, I think you're right, > I said just before I drifted off to sleep.