Chapter 1

My wife Kelly and I have been married for three years now. We have one child who is three years old. Yes, Kelly was pregnant before we got married. I'm now twenty-three and Kelly is twenty two.

All through our school years I always had a big crush on Kelly. She was my next door neighbor and we basically grew up together. I walked with her to school almost every day until we started high school. Then she got a ride everyday with her old boyfriend Tom.

I guess our relationship was like the song 'You Don't Know Me.' by Ray Charles.

I remember the words:

You give your hand to me and then you say hello
And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so
And anyone could tell, you think you know me well
But you don't know me

That's the way I always felt about Kelly. I felt love for her my whole short life. I believe she always liked me a lot as a friend also. Just not to the extent of how I felt about her. We would hang out and tell each other secrets. The times I spent with her as a kid were the best. But then came high school and we belonged to different groups. She, with the cheerleader and jock group. I hung more with the shop guys. Welding, construction, car repair, I liked using my hands.

I was hoping to someday have my own business. I knew the trades were the best way to go for me. Kelly never said anything about working or college. She was one of those who didn't make up her mind. To listen to her talk, you would think that all she wanted was to marry a guy with lots of money and she would do her best to spend it. She loved nice things and was always one of the best dressed girls in school. Her parents bought her just about anything she wanted.

You would think she would be conceited but I never saw that in her. She seemed to be friends with just about everyone. She was head cheerleader and of course that made her very popular.

Then there was the part in the song about dreams:

No, you don't know the one who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight.
To you I'm just a friend, and that's all I've ever been.
No, you don't know me

I remember the evenings when Tom would bring her home from dates. They would sit and neck in the car. I would always have tears in my eyes as I went to sleep. Always wanting to be the one to hold her tight. To kiss her lips and make love to her. She just thought of me at the time as her best friend, not really knowing how much it hurt me when she talked to me about Tom. How someday they would get married and have a family together. She would tell me how Tom was going to be a business executive and one day be the bank president in our town. His dad was the president of the bank now so of course Tom had the inside track as soon as he graduated. Everyone knew he would be working at the bank being the big executive and earning the big bucks...

I remember being out with some of my buddies one evening and I spotted Tom with another girl. They were parked back in the Big Boy restaurant parking lot necking. It hurt me so much to see him cheating on Kelly. When I got home she came over and sat with me on the porch to talk. I asked her where Tom was and she said he was out with a few friends. I didn't want to hurt her so I didn't say anything.

I decided to talk to Tom the next day. I wasn't a wuss. In fact I was bigger and stronger than Tom. I just wasn't all that interested in sports. Of course since he played sports it kind of made him big man on campus, so to speak. I caught him alone after one of our classes and told him straight out that he better quit cheating on Kelly or break up with her. She deserved a hell of a lot better than him.

He laughed and asked me, "What are you going to do about it? Go and snitch to Kelly?"

He started to turn around and walk away. I grabbed him and turned him back around and hit him as hard as I could in the mid-section. He grabbed his stomach, doubled over and fell to the floor. I told him next time I wouldn't be so easy on him. I turned and walked out of the room. The only person to witness it was Sheila. She seemed to like me so I didn't think she would ever turn me in. She just smiled at me and walked away.

If only I was a lover:

For I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too

I did date a few other girls in school. I guess a lot of them liked me also. I remember a couple of Kelly's friends asked Kelly if she could get me to go out on a double date with her and Tom. When she brought the subject up and asked me what I thought, I laughed and said I could never double date with her. For one thing I didn't like Tom and the other was I couldn't make out with another girl in front of her. Of course she just laughed.

I was just too shy and couldn't tell her that she was the one I wanted to date instead of her girlfriends.

I remember the high school prom. Of course Kelly went with Tom. I took another close friend Sheila. Yes, the girl who saw me hit Tom. She and I were good friends also. I did find out later that she felt about me the way I felt about Kelly. I remember her signing my year book. "To Jerry, the one guy in high school I always had a crush on. If only you liked me half as much as you liked Kelly I would have been the best girlfriend and future wife you could have ever imagined. I hope you end up with the girl of your dreams, with love, your friend always, Sheila."

There I was always saying goodbye:

You give your hand to me and then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
To never, never know the one who loves you so
No, you don't know me

Wow! Damn, Sheila was one of the nicest girls ever. I was so busy pining over Kelly that I missed a possibly great relationship with Sheila. I wish I had known how Sheila felt about me then instead of after graduation when we all signed each other's year book. I did have feelings for her only they weren't as strong as the ones I had for Kelly.

At the prom Sheila and I were having a nice time. Every now and then I saw Kelly and Tom arguing. I kind of let it slide. I knew Kelly would probably tell me everything later.

Kelly told me a couple of days after the prom that Tom wanted to have sex with her. I was surprised that they had never done it before. She told me she let him feel her up and finger her, and that she jacked him off but that was as far as it went. It bothered me to even hear that but I tried to listen as a friend. That's what they were arguing about at the prom. She said that Tom was heading off to College and wanted to secure their relationship before he left. She told me she thought she loved him but didn't know about going all the way. Of course I told her she shouldn't unless she was sure he really loved her as well.

After hearing Kelly tell me about giving herself to Tom I was really aggravated and decided to go out. I called Sheila since now I knew she cared for me. We went out to dinner and then saw a movie. I kept picturing Kelly making out with Tom and it got to me. It was as though I was going to get even with them and have sex with Sheila.

I parked in our lovers lane and started kissing Sheila. She kissed me back with everything she had. I started to unbutton her blouse and was feeling her breasts. Soft, warm, hard nipples, I lowered my head and began sucking on them. She just held me tightly and told me she always wanted to do this with me. I unbuckled her jeans and slid my hand down into her pants. Wow, she was hot and kept saying how much she loved me and has always wanted me. I wasn't thinking of her while doing all this. I was thinking of Kelly.

Sheila removed her jeans and panties and I lowered my jeans and underwear. Sheila then got on my lap facing me and slowly lowered herself onto my stiff manhood. This was my first real fuck. I have felt up a few girls but never penetrated any of them. As Sheila lowered herself on my cock she looked into my eyes and said, "I love you, Jerry, with all my heart," and with tears flowing down her cheeks she lowered herself all the way down on my manhood, breaking her hymen on the way down. My God, she was a virgin and gave herself wholly to me.

That's when I realized what had just happened. Sheila gave herself fully to me. Giving her virginity to me. It felt so good being the first time for me also. Then I thought about what a bastard I was. I used Sheila for some off the wall revenge. How stupid could I be. Here was a woman that truly loved me and I used her.

After we were finished, I apologized to her. I told her I had no right to take away her virginity. I really felt bad about it. If I didn't have such strong feelings for Kelly it would have been different.

Sheila looked at me and replied, "Jerry, you didn't take away my virginity. I gave it up for you. I have always cared for you. You are the one I want to always remember making love to me for the first time. Maybe it didn't mean as much to you but I will always cherish you and remember this night."

I kissed her one more time very passionately, and it was for her. A really loving tender person. I then drove her home.

A couple of weeks after graduation Kelly came crying to me. She said that Tom was running around telling everyone he finally took her virginity. She was crying and said she broke off going with him. He was nothing but a bastard. She said she never wanted to see him again. Of course that was great news to me other than her getting screwed. I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies with me to get her mind off the situation? She said yes and we had our first official date. I finally got the girl. It was summer time and we went to the beach almost every day. I was doing everything I could to get her to think about me. I thought she was finally falling in love with me. One day after one of our dates we went into her house and were watching a love story. Her parents would be out most of the evening so we decided to get comfortable.

She went upstairs and put on her baby doll pajamas and I just had on my shorts and t-shirt. We started necking and we were both getting hot. I started feeling her up. God, this was what I dreamed about my whole life. I undid her top and started sucking on her nipples. She just pulled my head down against them and kept moaning. I slid my hand down into her bottoms and started rubbing her bush. My God, it felt so great, she never even tried to stop me. I pulled her bottoms off with her panties and began rubbing her clit. She kept telling me how good it felt and asking if I would kiss her down there.

I knelt between her legs and buried my face into her oh so wet vagina, separating the lips so I could push my tongue in as deep as possible into the pink valley. I couldn't take it any longer and took off my shorts and pushed my rigid member as deep into her waiting valley as possible. My balls were banging against her ass. I couldn't hold back any longer as I erupted, coating her insides with my sperm. She was screaming how great it felt and how much she loved me. I was in seventh heaven. I had just made love to the girl of my dreams. The oddest part was as I came I thought of Sheila and how she had given her virginity up for me.