Chapter 10

The dinner had been delicious even if Bonnie only picked at her food. Her appetite these days was not strong, plus what she had to discuss with Martin kept her preoccupied throughout the meal. She had arrived this afternoon, Martin meeting her flight, yet even though he had tried to get her to share what was on her mind, she had told him she wanted a quiet, private setting. He had agreed and so the talk had turned to inane things, light and frivolous, Martin finding it difficult not to probe her immediately to tell him what was troubling her.

"Bonnie," it's delightful to have you come visit us. It has been such a long time," opined Renee.

"Thank you. It has been far too long," replied Bonnie.

"Well, I'm sure you and Martin have a lot of catching up to do. We bought another dog recently and I have two guests who will be arriving in a few minutes to help me in his training," she chuckled to herself as she rose to leave.

"Dinner was delicious and thanks for agreeing to my visit on such short notice."

"Nonsense," said Renee smiling," you're always welcome, anytime. Now if you will excuse me."

As Renee disappeared up the stairs, Martin lead Bonnie into the study where the logs crackled in the fireplace and Bonnie warmed herself.

"Now little sister, what's this all about?" he said smiling, trying to keep the atmosphere light even though he knew what she had to tell him must be serious.

The lovely eyes were suddenly misty, her voice weak and choking on the words.

"Martin, I... I don't know any way to say this other than to simply come right out with it."

Neither had noticed that Renee had slipped back down the stairs and stood listening and watching through the louvered French doors of the study. She too knew something was amiss for the younger sibling to suddenly request a visit, something she had never done before. She had been their guest on a couple of prior occasions but only at Martin's insistence and then for only a day or so, Bonnie seeming only too anxious to leave. Yes, something was up, so Renee had quickly called and canceled her "canine training session" for the evening and decided to listen in.

"Martin, I'm dying."

His heart felt a sudden ache and tears gathered at the corner of his eyes.

"It's cancer," she continued, "Now before you ask, yes I've seen some great specialists and there is nothing they can do. It's terminal and they give me about six months to a year."

"What can I do?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing, just listen. With Mom and Dad gone, I have no other family so I'm leaving my house and savings to charity. But... there is one thing I wanted you to have."

Bonnie unclasped a small necklace and locket she wore and placed it in her brother's hand. He opened it to find a small photo of the two of them taken when he was just out of graduate school and she entering high school. The smiling faces brought back many memories of shared times. They had been especially close despite the difference in their ages.

"It's all I have left... of us. Maybe I've been a fool all these years not to have told you how I really feel."

"I don't understa..." he began.

Oh, big brother, I couldn't tell you. You were so much older, girls flocked around you, your career.

"Tell me what, sis?"

"That I love you Martin. I've loved you for as long as I can remember."

He was stunned, silent as she continued.

"Oh sure, at first it was little sister in awe of her older handsome brother, but as time went on, what I felt for you went far deeper than admiration or adolescent puppy love. I grew to know you and understand you, Martin. I saw the love and caring you gave to Mom and Dad even before they had gotten older and needed constant care. I never told you, but sometimes when you would dance with me, like at Christmas, my heart would flutter and I knew you were the one man in the world for me."

He started to say something.

"No, please let me finish," said Bonnie. "It's taken me a lifetime and the facing of death to summon the courage to say this. You and Mom and Dad used to wonder why I never showed any interest in boys in school. It was because I was saving myself for the one man, the only man I ever wanted. Oh, I told myself I should wait and someday you would discover me and how I truly felt, but as time went on and you went on to other things in your life, I knew it would never happen. Then when you met and married Renee, I gave up hope of ever having you. I knew I could never compete with someone as beautiful and vivacious as she. It's why I kept turning down all those invitations to visit and even when you insisted, I only stayed a day or two. It broke my heart to be so close to you and know that you, your heart belonged to someone else."