Chapter 22

A week later - Polly arrives too late - Thursday, 10-June [Polly]

The girl who opened the door was a real mess. Skinny, ugly, dirty, wearing jeans and shirt that hung on her like rags. My heart sank.

Oh! Mum. What have you done? - found this wreckage for Robert. Never. Better press on.

I put out my hand and she took it limply. She was staring at me with a pathetic appeal.

"I'm Polly - Robert's step-daughter. Are you Sarah?" I had a vague hope that there might be another girl in this place.

"You're late!" this waif accused and hurled herself at me sobbing. My arms went round her instinctively - she was skin and bone. I half carried her into the room. It was untidy, but not as bad as I'd expected. Bed made. Books on the table. She pushed away from and looked round the room. Her sense of pride was still working anyway. She tided some books from a chair for me and went and peered at herself in a mirror. I didn't want to sit down. I wanted to bolt and send for Catherine.

"I'm afraid I've had a bad few days." she said, in a matter-of-fact understatement. It was rather like a meeting with a customer during early implementation when things are chaotic to the brink of disaster but they want to put a good face on it.

She went on in a rush, "I was managing quite well until last weekend and then I didn't see him for two days and that was awful and then he cancelled the tutorial on Monday, just when I was going to see him and then he didn't ring and by then I looked a mess and I felt so ill, I couldn't, daren't see him. I mean, look at me. How can I let him see me when I look like this? I keep being sick - grief, worry, unrequited love. It's not pretty like the poems. Patience on a monument - I'll bet she wouldn't look so buxom after a week not sleeping - I haven't talked to anyone hardly since Friday. And where is he? She said it would be hard, but Oh! I'm so alone! Tony's away and Judith has gone off with Nick - and there was nobody!"

She wept, tears flooding down her face. I took her in my arms, slight and frail, like a child. I sat on the bed with her in my lap. She seemed to be expecting me, but how had she known? We'd certainly underestimated some of the risks! And how could Robert do this. She was one of his students. He owed her the duty of care, let alone the fact that she was supposed to be Mum's replacement. He was going to get the bollocking of his life for this.

The floodgates were open now and the words poured out, "I let Robert think that I was going home. It was the only way I could avoid seeing him. Then I didn't want mum to see me like this and anyway I didn't want to miss you. But I wish you'd come sooner."

She was shaking, still weeping. I looked anxiously at this scrap. My family had always been robust. Medical emergencies have tended to cuts and the odd broken bone. I had no experience of this sort of thing. Was she having a nervous breakdown? Should I take her to hospital? She pushed herself out of my arms, sniffed and pushed her hair back.

"But you have come. Good. Thank you. Bless you. Elizabeth said you would."

Outguessed, out-foxed and too late! We had really let Mum down this time.

She fingered her greasy hair. "I spent a fortune having this done last week. It looked great. I expect Alice would despair of me. Would you like a cup of tea?"

I shook my head, thinking hard, looking at my watch. Panic in her eyes.

"Don't fret," I told her, " I'm not going to leave you. Just thinking what's best. Now, can you leave everything here now? No cats or expected visitors? You'll have to get used to me. I earn my crust as a project manager. Watches and plans are my stock-in-trade."

And risk management too. Slipped up there. And I always look at my watch when I'm nervous.

She shook her head. "No I'm all alone - footloose - but not fancy free. Where are you taking me?"

"Home, where I can keep an eye on you, feed you up." I gently poked her ribs. "You're supposed to be the great white hope and look at the state you're in. You'll have my children, Michael and Barbara for company and Arthur, as well as me. Just till you feel a bit better. I'm sorry we were slow off the mark - more than sorry. Wait till I see Robert!"

She shook her head. "It's not Robert's fault. He warned me. It was just harder than I expected. I'm missing Elizabeth as well. I never realised how much I cared... she was so close to me."

Oh dear! I'm a bit out of my depth here. Oh witch sisters! Why aren't you here when I need you?

"Right! Grab some things for a couple of days. We're not far away, so you can easily slip back for anything you've forgotten. Let me help."

I found a bag, helped her pack a few clothes, washing things, a jacket, some walking shoes. She added an envelope to the bag, wrapping it carefully in a sweater. She reminded me of a refugee taking her most precious things. What was it? Well, probably no business of mine.

"Mum! Robert on the phone!" Michael's voice from the sitting room. I sharpened my rage to disembowelling point.

Robert's voice was low over the telephone as though he was trying not to be overheard, "Polly? Look, I'm in the most awful trouble, I need your help"

Need my help to tear out your liver!

"I've lost one of my students. I'm at her parent's place now. I thought she'd come here, but they haven't seen her. We're worried. I've rung her digs, but she's not there, or not answering." His voice dropped, barely audible. "Polly I'm scared. Go round and..."

"Robert!" I interrupted him and paused. Let the bastard sweat. "Look, you prat - " Normal terminology when talking to the contractors. "She's here. You have a duty of care to your..."

I was just getting into my stride when he interrupted me, "Polly! What! Who's there? I'm talking about a girl called Sarah, Sarah Franklin?"

My turn to interrupt. "You wouldn't be phoning me about anyone else, would you? Look, crawl into a hole somewhere and let me talk to her mother. No don't argue. I'm too angry to talk to you just now."

Sarah's mother then. She sounded anxious and bewildered when I told her who I was.

"No. She isn't all right," I told her, "but she's better than she was... No, I think she'll prefer to stay here tonight... Physically she seems to be hungry and lonely. Just what's been going on between her and - that man - I don't know... Well, she's in the bath. She was asleep a few minutes ago. I'll get her to ring you when she comes down... Don't worry. I'll look after her... Look, Robert owes you an explanation - just tell him from me that he owes you the whole truth and nothing but... No I'm too angry to talk to him... Oh all right, put him on."

"Polly! Just shut up and tell me how she is." Robert sounded shaken.

"Pretty bad! So bad she wouldn't see you. She was just holed up waiting for rescue. At least she opened the door for me. Otherwise... "

Yes. Otherwise what? We really had been late.

"Oh Polly! She was looking wonderful on Friday. Then on Tuesday morning, she left a message saying she'd gone home and then nothing. No answer on the 'phone, she didn't answer the door when I went round. She didn't answer the 'phone down here. She gave me the wrong number, or I wrote it down wrong. I never checked at the registry. I had her address, so I just came down here spreading panic. Look, when I've done my best to make my peace with her parents, I'm coming straight there. Can I talk to her?"

"No you bloody well can't. She's having a peaceful bath, then I expect she'll want a quiet tea and bed. Stay away from her till she tells you."

Soft fingers took the 'phone from me. Sarah was bundled in a dressing gown with a towel round her hair. Her feet were bare. Her face glowed, pretty, no - radiant - just as Tony said.

"Robert?" Her voice soft with love and hope. "Oh! Robert, I failed. I'm sorry. I missed you so much. Where have you been?"

She's sorry! Well, the customer is always right.

"Yes, I'd like to see you, please... What? Say that again... Do you mean that?... Of course I still want you!... No, whenever. I've no plans to go anywhere, " She looked at me questioningly. I shook my head, meaning that it was all out of my hands.

"Yes, till then. Robert - I love you... Thank you. Can I speak to Mum?... Hello... No... Yes... Look, I'll come home and explain... no... well this week... Robert can explain most of it... No! No! It's not like that... No. I love him... yes very serious, very... No, of course not! He's not a monster. I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with a monster... no he doesn't... Look, his wife died two weeks ago... just trust him. And don't break him. I need him back... Well he's a good teacher as well... No... tell him, Oh! Nothing... yes Love to you and love to Dad... Bye." She put the phone down gently and sat down, thoughtful, her face suddenly radiant.

"He says it's all right. All right if I still want him!" She bent her head, weeping and I went to hold her. "It's all right Polly - just happy tears. Relief. I thought he'd left me for ever. Why didn't I trust him?"

She sniffed a bit and then asked, "Could I have something to eat. I'm starving."

She went to dress while I got her some food. She ate ravenously. I was careful to give only a little.

"You can have more later." I told her.

She drank some wine and curled up. She was now wearing a soft dark woollen dress that concealed how thin she was. She looked ravishing. Her face glowed. The change was startling.

"Can I say my first instalment of thank-you's?" she asked. "I feel so much better. Can I come here if things get bad again?"

"Of course. But the plans say that things only get better. Want to talk?"

Sarah looked at me and then seemed to make up her mind, "Please. I feel I'm in your hands and it's safe that way."

Well that usually describes the customer, but...

I couldn't help but laugh. "This is all my mother's doing isn't it?" She pulled a letter from her pocket and handed it to me. I read it once, then again, folded it and gave it back. I was crying. What a hole Mum had left in our lives. Sarah looked at me while I cried.

"Sorry, love" I shuddered. "Too bloody right I wouldn't have condoned her 'emotional tinkering'. Thank you for showing me that. I might want to see that again, just to have a good cry? Is the picture good?"

Sarah nodded and I shivered, "Don't worry, I don't want to see it. Robert is still on my disembowelling list."

She ignored this. My victim was going to get away this time, I could see.

I explained what had been going on, "The family Mafia didn't get round to assembling till yesterday. Benjamin and Tony invited us to lunch - William and me. We'd worked out what was going on, but never realised how far things had gone. I'm afraid it was all a bit academic. None of us except Tony and Benjamin had ever seen you, let alone met you. I'd heard rumours of Mum being seen in the company of an unknown young female - clue one. Then there was the will - that fingered you as the chosen one. For heavens sake don't have any qualms about the money by the way. I'm sure mum had a very good reason for arranging things that way. Anyway, that was clue two. There didn't seem to be much doubt about what mum intended. You were going to be Robert's wife. Marriage, children?"