Chapter 4

Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories; They're all that's left you.

- Simon and Garfunkel

In June I looked up from my text book to find Mark standing over me, he was so silent I hadn't heard him open the class room door, or even the few foot steps it took to reach my desk. Pulling me out of class we would soon be hugging each other in the hall. It always made me happy to see my brother and he had just been up for our nineteenth birthday the week before, but not so this time as he told me our parents had both been killed in a car accident earlier that morning. It was the first time that Mark's voice ever terrified me, shaky and shallow, as he fought back tears. I felt nothing could hurt me more, and it would take a year to prove how wrong I could be.

Helping me to pack my things, I left my dorm room at the University thinking I would probably not be back. The school year was almost over and in the car on the way to home Mark's hand never left mine.

Our parents death hit the both of us pretty hard. Over the past year they had reconciled their differences and had begun spending more and more time together. "They're dating again." as Mark had put it and they had even told him they would be telling the both of us something important when I returned for the summer break. Mark believed they were getting remarried.

It was on one of their dates that a drunk driver had crossed the yellow line and smashed head on into dad's car. The doctor's told Mark before he came to get me that there had been no pain for either of them, both their lives had ended in a heartbeat.

Mark had been up to the University many times over the past two years to bring me home for long weekends and of course summer holidays. Sometimes he just came up anyway saying he was bored and was looking for a fun night out for just the two of us, something I eagerly looked forward to. But things had been left unsaid, my feelings primarily unexplored and I feared some of our closeness was now gone. But with our mutual grief and no other family we instantly resumed the close contact we had in earlier years. Mark now had a job as a Security Guard but was able to take an extended leave using up all his acquired vacation time. The time was to be spent closing down bank accounts and putting our parents affairs in final order, but mostly it would be spent with me. After the funeral he helped me to unpack and settle back into my old room. No dust on anything, a picture of Mom on my dresser, I guess now we would never have that talk she mentioned.

The two of us mainly just moped around the house, neither of us sleeping much at first we would spend long hours sitting on the couch watching TV or quietly reading. As long as Mark and I were together I felt I could get through another day.

But we would sleep and one morning I awoke to find myself laying on top of him on the couch where we had both passed out the night before. The rise and fall of his chest beneath me just felt so good that I lay there not wanting to wake him. Lavishing in the moment I squeezed him gently and ran my hand up and down his side.

"Good morning."

"I thought you were still asleep, how long have you been awake Mark?"

"Not long, couple of minutes."

"Why didn't you just wake me?"

"I don't know, it was good to see you sleeping a bit I guess, it's nice to be close again too, I like waking up and finding you with me."

Neither of us made any attempt to move for quite some time, not until the sound of a letter being placed in the mailbox made me look at the clock. Well past noon I knew it was time to get up. Mark pouted but agreed saying there were too many things to do. Lifting myself up I accidentally, and none too gently, kneed him in the groin.

"Jeeeesus Christ thanks Jennie."

"Fuck Mark I'm sorry, does it hurt, do you want me to kiss it better?"

"Oh get the Hell off me will you."

I let him up and he moved around the room, testing his mobility and groaning a little before going down the hall to the washroom while I checked the mail.

"Mark, there's a letter here from Mom and Dad's lawyer, he sais he has some important papers for us at his office in the city. I guess we can pick them up this week, do you think?"

"Next week, it can't be too important I've got the Will here. Thank you by the way, I really liked waking up like that, well, except for that last part."

"Maybe we could wake up like that every morning?"

"No, that isn't the most comfortable couch in the world, not that you would know after all I was the one on the bottom."

"That's not what I was thinking, what I meant was what if you moved into my room?"

"We're not kids anymore Jennie, but still, I honestly wouldn't mind being close to someone again, to you."

So later on that night Mark and I began to share my bed, the only change I had to make was to resume wearing a T-shirt as I had found in College that I preferred not to. We were both a little nervous at first, keeping our distance, but quickly readjusted to old times.

Sleeping together life seemed so much easier. We would lay together and talk while any problems would just melt away. One time Mark openly asked me about my sex life saying if I wanted to bring a guy back to the house it was okay with him, he would just stay in his room.

"No I couldn't do that to you, besides, that's what backseats in cars are for."

"You slut."

"Eat me, just eat me okay, so have you been seeing anyone while I was gone?"

"I don't know, does my left hand count?"

We were both amused at the direction our conversation had taken. I Pressed on asking where he mostly did it and made an up and down movement with my hand. His cheeks now had a little red in them.

"In the shower I guess, no evidence to get rid of that way."

"Yeah, that's where I do it too."

"Yeah I know you do."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" I had just gotten out of the shower a few minutes earlier and was in fact still warm with only a robe on, and getting warmer.

"I could hear you from my room, it's right next to the washroom and the walls aren't as thick as you think they are, you sound like a Banshee."

"Shut up I do not, look I'm gonna strangle you."

Climbing on top of Mark from where I had been beside him I pinned him to the bed with my arms, straddling him at the waist. Memories of us wrestling together when we were children came flooding back and soon we were both laughing and carrying on, Mark looking up at me, his expression changing but it took a few seconds for me to understand, only then noticing that the sash holding my robe closed had come undone and I was now exposed to my brother.

"Oops, sorry." I went for the ends of the sash, my arms reaching for them only succeeding in giving Mark a much better view before I finally covered myself a few seconds later.

"God damn Jennie, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful you are, I guess you don't want me saying things like that anymore."

"No that's alright, how did you enjoy the show I put on for you, are you ready to go yet?"

"Look Jennie, I love you, but I have never looked at you in that way."

"Bull shit, you just did."

"You're still on top of me, do you feel anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let me up for a second."

Moving to a sitting position beside Mark, my legs crossed one over the other in front of me, I watched as he unbuttoned his jeans, arched his back, and pushed them and his underwear down in one swift stroke. He was quite limp, no erection.

"See, I told ya."

"Oh that's just not right, wait a second." Quickly I undid the sash and removed my robe altogether, letting it fall behind me.

After a minute of us looking at one another Mark closed the distance and kissed me gently on the lips. Pulling away he smiled and pointed down at his still limp dick. I immediately figured something was wrong with him and took what I thought was the appropriate action by lifting myself up onto my knees while I began rubbing my own body with my hands, even moving between my legs over my exposed clit.

"Besides, how can you look at this amazing sexy body and not get turned on, are you sure I didn't break that think the other day when I kneed you?"

"I don't know, why don't you make up a story for me about the College dorm you slept in, all women wasn't it?"

"Oh, I think I see where you're going. Well, it was a dark and stormy night and all the girls with their young and luscious, tight little supple bodies were just settling in for a good night sleep. We all slept topless in the big bed that we shared of course, even me, all of us, and soon we just couldn't help ourselves and began to pair off making sweet love to one another, our mouths coming together, tongues probing, tasting, sucking on each other's nipples actually drinking each other's milk..."

"Milk?"

"Yeah, you know, breast milk."

"You're sick Jennie, but I like it please continue."

"Anyway, soon we would go sixty-nine on one another, you do know what that is don't you?"

"Yeah I've got TV in my room, lots of adult channels."

"Good boy, we'll have to move that in here later, soon we would go sixty-nine on one another, spreading each other's pussy lips apart and licking, no sucking the sweet nectar from deep within, drinking it down, bringing each other to higher plains of reality, our orgasms so intense that we feared we would..."

"Okay okay, look, see, now I'm hot to trot."

"Yeah good for you, now unless you're going to fuck me get the hell out of here so I can finish with my story and make myself happy."

"You made it all sound so real."

"Well maybe that's because it's true."

"Aha, Jennie, you are a Lesbian."

"A Lesbian, what's that?"

"You I think, so did all the girls really sleep topless?"

"A lot of them did sure, actually, so did I."

"Well I don't see what the big deal is, I mean, sure, yours are big, they're nice and... round, and very... full and your nipples are as big as tree trunks but if you wanted to sleep topless in College why not, I do, is it warm in here?"

"Yeah but your nipples aren't as big as mine though. Mark, what if I wanted to sleep topless, I actually like sleeping that way?"

"Well, we've done it before and God knows we've seen each other naked enough times so I don't see any problem, I mean as long as you feel comfortable, I guess so, but we definitely keep our knickers on right?"

"But of course, shall we try this out, make sure neither of us feels weird about it?"

Mark and I both put our underwear back on before climbing under the sheets, our naked chests coming together under my satin sheets, my nipples tingling occasionally as his chest hairs brushed across them. Looking up I found him staring back at me, smiling, almost with tears in his eyes.

"I guess you probably won't want to Jennie, it's been so long, but could we..."

"Yes."

And just like that we were kissing again, our lips conforming perfectly together, pressing tight, moving over one another quickly trying to make up for lost time. Mark's erection wasn't going down I noticed, a fact I would neglect to point out to him as the feel of his hard body pressed into the soft tender skin between my legs left me with a rather warm feeling that seemed to fill me up inside.

We would continue kissing for some time, at some point our lips opening so we could go deep into each other's souls as we tried to express our true love for one another, a love I had envisioned many times in College but had still not truly explored. Our tongues would meet, at first shy not having been together for so long, but soon playing together like long lost friends. Shifting position slightly, I had been almost all on top of Mark up to this point, he would take it as a sign that I wanted to switch places and so gently rolled me onto my back before climbing on top of me, our legs intertwining. Our lips never separated once in the move, locked together as if by some mystical force that would keep us bound for all eternity, not a bad proposition I was thinking at this moment.