Chapter 7

The urgency of our first time together had left little room for foreplay. Neither of us had even been fully undressed. Installing me in his big, soft bed, Richard more than made up for that lack. He explored every inch of my body, drawing pleasure out of every kiss and touch, until I was practically begging him for God's sake to go on and take me again, before I lost my mind completely. By the time he gave in to my pleas, we were both more than ready. He took his time, drawing out each motion, kissing me, whispering my name; until the final shuddering climax took me and left me mindless, a hollow vessel for the pleasure that he poured into me. If this was what sex had been like with his former girlfriend, I had no idea how she had managed to leave him; I wasn't sure I would make it back out of his bed.

Hunger, however, eventually did the trick. Richard lent me a bathrobe and put on a pair of shorts and jeans, and we ordered a very large quantity of Chinese delivery food. I was starving; I felt I could eat an entire pig's worth of mu shu pork myself; and Richard's appetite matched the rest of him in size.

After dinner, feeling full and rather sleepy, we returned to the bed and curled up together, skin to skin, not talking. I soaked up his warmth, feeling happier than I had in longer than I could remember; so happy that I wasn't even worrying (yet) about whether he had liked it as much as I had, and what kind of relationship he wanted. I knew what I wanted.

Richard nuzzled the back of my neck. I sighed sleepily, and snuggled closer. My voice sounded distant in my own ears as I murmured: "I love you, Master."

Oh my God. What had I just said?

I jerked around to look Richard in the face. His expression was not shocked; not even surprised. It was like being plunged in ice water; the cobwebs cleared from my brain. He knew. Somehow, he knew.

"My God," I whispered. "What is this?"

Richard went still, then sighed. "The intersection of our fantasies."

Fantasies. I remembered the dreams. The disembodied voice. His voice.

Richard leaned forward, touching my cheek. "I think it's time to remember, Susie."

His words opened the floodgates of my memory. The very first day, drifting into a light trance in his chair. Subsequent sessions, deepening the trance, starting to probe into my longings and desires. I remembered sitting there, calmly revealing my most intimate secrets to this man, things I had never confessed to anyone. Fantasies. Lusts. Needs.

I recoiled from him so violently that I fell from the bed. Richard sat up with a look of concern, and I scrambled to my feet, backing away from him, arms folded tightly across my chest.

"You did this to me!" I gasped. "You made me into your... you made me want to be your..." I couldn't bring myself to say the word. I felt tears in my eyes, and longed to be folded into strong arms and comforted; his arms, his comfort.

"I didn't make you want me," Richard said. "I couldn't have, if I'd wanted to. I didn't create your fantasies. I just let them out."

"You just let them out?" I said. "Sweet Jesus, they're fantasies; they're not, not real..."

"They are now," Richard said quietly.

I shook my head violently, the tears spilling over and falling down my cheeks. "I trusted you." My throat caught on the words.

"And you can trust me," Richard leaned forward, urgently, and I once again felt the powerful pull of attraction for him, even through the burning throb of my hurt. "With your life."

"My life," I said bitterly. "Not my freedom."

"Is that what you want?" Richard asked me. I wanted to go and throw myself into his arms. I wanted to run away and never stop. "I didn't mean to do it, at first," he said, almost to himself. "I wasn't trying to hypnotize you, that first time. But you slipped under, so easily; you trusted me so readily. I wanted you. I wanted to know how you felt about me. And then, I found out more, and more, and I couldn't stop. You were so perfect; and you wanted it as much as I did..."

"No... no..." I wasn't sure I'd even said that aloud, but Richard answered.

"Yes!" he said. "You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me. I've seen inside you, Susie."

"Don't call me that!"

"Susan. Susie. They're both you."

"No!" I wiped my eyes. "I hate you," I told him, willing it to be true. "I hate what you've done to me. I never want to see you again."

Richard winced at my words. "If you do, I don't blame you," he said quietly. "You can leave right now, and never come back. But Susan," he added as I started to move, "I want you to stay."