Chapter 4

The Residence, Shap village

28^th August

The Wife

We set off bright and early. Ronald climbed into his Morgan to go to work and I threw an overnight bag in my Audi ready for the drive to Glasgow. I was meeting Sue, my friend from University, for lunch. I’d allowed plenty of time, it was a two and a half hour drive and lunch was booked for 1 pm. I’d been surprised when the Facebook message popped up. She’d found me through the university alumni page then called me to arrange this day out. I’d never celebrated a divorce before, but there was a first time for everything. As I made my way up the motorway, I still felt guilty. Most of what I’d told Ronald was true except we weren’t going to a show in the evening. Sue had arranged a night out clubbing. She intended to celebrate her freedom in style. I hadn’t told Sue but I had other plans for the evening.

Lunch was a fun affair. I hadn’t seen any of the girls since leaving university. We had a lot to catch up on.

‘So, you’ve been married to the same man since graduation, ‘ Sue said to me. ‘That seems unbelievable, especially since it wasn’t Robert that you married. Was it someone you knew back home?’

‘No I married Ronald Shaftoe, you must remember him. He was the one who always came out with top scores. Always quiet studious, never seemed to party much.’

‘You don’t mean Ronald the nerd surely?’

‘Don’t call him that. Ronald is an excellent husband and father, I have a great life.’

‘Ah I see it now, he got you pregnant, that’s why you married him.’

‘I was pregnant, yes, maybe we wouldn’t have got married so quickly if I hadn’t been carrying Anthony, but I love Ronald. I’d like to think we’d still have got married.’

‘So how long is it now? 23 years? I don’t know how you do it, today marks the end of my second marriage. No kids, of course, couldn’t stand the thought of one of them growing inside me. Reminds me of that scene in one of the Alien films, when the thing bursts out of her stomach.’

‘It’s nothing like that. I really liked being pregnant, I only wish we’d had more.’

‘So why didn’t you?’

‘I don’t know it just never happened. We certainly tried, we did a hell of a lot of trying, still do.’

Sue gave a little giggle and addressed the rest of the women. ‘Do you hear this, girls? Sara’s been married twenty-three years and they’re still at it like rabbits. Don’t we all feel jealous?’

‘Believe me, Sara; most of us have experienced a big drop off in our sex lives. I’ve never managed to maintain a good sex life for more than about five years before one of us gets bored. What’s the secret, has he got a really big dick?’

‘He’s bigger than Robert if you remember him, but that has nothing to do with it. We love each other. When we make love, I feel part of him. The way he makes me feel is beyond compare. Ronald loves me and supported me when I decided to go back to work and he is genuinely proud of me, just as I’m proud of him.’

‘So how does he feel about tonight? Because I have every intention of getting laid.’

‘He thinks we’re going to a show, but I won’t be doing anything he should worry about.’

The shopping was great fun. We must have spent over an hour wandering Agent Provocateur trying on lingerie that cost a fortune but all I could think of was ‘Ronald would love this.’ Sue couldn’t believe that I still wanted to look sexy for him. When I came out wearing a playsuit, I thought she was going to choke.

‘You’re never going to buy that.’

‘Do you know, I think I might. You don’t think it looks silly do you.’

‘On you, girl, it looks fantastic. I just wish I had the body to carry it off. No wonder Ronald can’t keep his hands off of you.’

I did buy it and a balcony bra and thong set.

Six women wandering through the clothes shops of a city can have a whale of a time and so it was with us. By the time we reached Ralph Lauren, we were all giggling like schoolgirls. I hadn’t spent so much money on myself in years. When the shops closed we made our way to a bar, prior to moving on to the restaurant for dinner. It was in the bar that I made my apologies and left. I told the girls I was going home to Ronald. They all teased me about not being apart for a night even after 23 years. It was all very good-natured. It did hurt though because I knew I was not going home to Ronald, I was meeting Robert at a hotel in Carlisle.

The drive down was miserable; the rain came down heavily as I drove down the motorway All the way my emotions were being pulled one way then the other. I felt awful that I was going to be cheating on Ronald but in other ways, I was looking forward to the raw lust and rampant sex I would get from Robert. With Ronald, I felt loved even treasured, with Robert I felt used. Ronald only wanted to give me pleasure, Robert wanted to take his pleasure and to hell with me. With him, I felt powerless and I realised that was something I longed for. I found it odd that I enjoyed my job so much. At work, I told everyone else what to do yet I found myself craving the submissive role I had had with Robert at university. I knew I didn’t love him. It wasn’t him I wanted, it was what he did to me.

It was 7.30pm when I entered the room and was taken completely by surprise. The hotel was once a big country house set in acres of land with a lake that I could see in the fading light. The big surprise was the bed it was a large four poster, though on with a modern sprung mattress. I looked and imagined myself being tied there helpless as my body was being teased. I would be thrashing about as the spasms hit me. Then it struck me, Robert would not tease and tempt me. He would not spend time getting me so aroused I would beg him to fuck me. He would just use me.

I walked into the surprisingly modern bathroom. It was fully equipped and even had a bidet. That might come in handy later. I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower. As the water sprayed down on me, I ran my hands lightly over my body gently rubbing the soap over myself, caressing myself the way that Ronald loved to do to me. I closed my eyes and it could have been his hands on me. I shook my head and brought myself back to my senses. I towelled myself off and looked in the mirror. A heated mirror, I was impressed. I lifted my breasts and looked at them in the mirror. The nipples were, perhaps, a little too pale. I reached into my makeup bag and pulled out a dark rouge. I used my finger and slowly applied the rouge to the nipples using a circular motion on each one. It was stimulating, my body felt excited, the finger felt like a tongue. I imagined a mouth closing on my breast, sucking with the tongue flicking at me. It was so heavenly I tried to pull the head to my breast. I saw the face; it was my own beloved Ronald. Then as I reached for the head, but it was gone. I shivered and shook my head again.

I ran my fingers over my mound. It was not as smooth down there as I would have liked. I went back into the bedroom and got the wipes and my epilator from my bag. I sat on the bed and used the wipes to lubricate the skin then used the epilator to remove all but the shortest hairs. I put the machine down, lay back on the bed and ran my finger over my lightly oiled pussy lips. The feeling started me tingling. My slippery finger slipped into the slit and sought out my clitoris. It wasn’t a finger any more it was a tongue with lips kissing me. The lips pushed harder onto and into me, I felt them close on my little clitty. The tingling turned to throbbing and my hips thrust up into his face. Yes, it was a man eating me. I looked down into the loving eyes of my Ronald, loving eyes filled with tears. I reached out for him.

‘Ronald, my love, what’s wrong?’ I reached down for him but he was gone. I suddenly felt panic. My Ronald was here and he was crying. What was I doing here preparing myself for another man while the man I loved was crying? I had to get away. I thought for a moment then picked up my phone and called Robert’s number. It rang for a while then went to voicemail.

‘Hello Robert, I can’t do this. I love Ronald and I’m not hurting him. Do your worst Robert I’m going home.’

Just to be safe I sent him a text.

‘Robert, I’m not doing this. It’s over. Don’t contact me again.’

I got dressed and packed everything back in my case. At reception, the girl was surprised.

‘Is there something wrong with the room Madam?’

‘No the room is fine, I’m afraid we’ve had a family crisis and I have to go. I’ve called him but if my husband turns up here tell him, I’ve had to go. Is there any bill to settle?’

‘No madam, everything is taken care of thank you. I hope you sort out your problem.’

I left, threw my bag in the back of my car, got in, and headed home.

The Burns Unit Carlisle Hospital

18^th September

This was the day I’d waited for since regaining consciousness. This was the day the dressings were coming off and I would be able to see again. How people go through life without sight is beyond me. I’d started recognising people by their footsteps and could read subtle changes in tone of voice. I still missed reading facial expressions. I was sometimes unable to tell when the nurses were serious or joking. Looking someone in the eye was always my method for deciding whether they were hiding things from me. Without my sight, I was lost. Working just from the tone of voice I’d become convinced that people were hiding something from me. The question was what were they hiding?

Both Doctor Roberts and Nurse Evans came to do the job. I heard them both come in. They were talking about the possibilities and support required. They stood either side of the bed and started to lift the dressing. As the first parts of the dressing were removed, I started to feel cold air on parts of my face. It was an odd sensation; parts of my face seemed to have no feeling at all. Then came the light. I could see red light.

‘Is something wrong? I can see red light and shadows.’

‘That’s a good sign, Mr McIntyre. It means blood is flowing through your eyelids.’

‘Are the dressings off now? Why can’t I see?’

‘Nearly done, Mr McIntyre. You can’t see yet because your eyes are still closed.’

‘Why don’t they open? I’m trying to open them but they seem to be stuck.’

‘Don’t worry we’ll soon have them open for you. I would like you to keep them closed until I’ve switched the light off. We don’t want to hurt your eyes.’

They fussed around my face for a little longer then the red went away, and the doctor spoke to me.

‘Okay, you can open them now.’

As I opened my eyes, a world of light came in. At first, my eyes wouldn’t focus but gradually I began to be able to identify the light fittings and the door into my room. I looked around, and tried to focus on the shape that was Nurse Evans. I couldn’t work out how tall she was everyone seems tall when you’re lying on your back. She had short blonde hair and as far as I could tell a pleasant round face. I thought she was smiling though it was still difficult to tell.

‘Hello Mr McIntyre, it’s nice to see you.’

‘Not half as nice as it is to see you, nurse. I have to say that you’re not all that clear at the moment.’

‘Don’t worry it will get better, just takes a little time. There is some other good news; you can start back on solid food now. You’ll probably need some help; I doubt you’ll be able to handle the knife and fork just yet.’

I looked down at my hands; they looked red, blotchy and very swollen. I tried flexing my fingers, they moved, but slowly. I tried to pick up the bed covers but just couldn’t grip them.

‘Does this mean I’m going to get plenty of your attention?’

‘I think you’ll be sick of the sight of us nurses pretty soon.’

‘I never get sick of looking at beautiful women, nurse.’

She laughed and started to move towards the door. I looked down at my legs.

‘Nurse, I know my eyes aren’t quite right yet but I can’t figure out where my feet are. I mean I can feel them, I know they’re there but I can’t match what I can feel with what I can see.’

She walked back to me and put her arm around my shoulders. ‘I’m sorry Mr McIntyre; I thought someone would have told you by now. I am afraid they had to amputate your legs just above the knee. Your lower legs were too badly burned. We had to take them off or we would have lost you completely.’

‘But I can still feel them. Yesterday my right ankle was itching really badly I asked the policeman to scratch it for me.’ I thought about it for a moment remembering what the police officer had said.’ Oh, my god, that’s why he wouldn’t do it.’

‘I’m afraid so. It’s quite common to still feel a lost limb, you’re brain hasn’t registered the loss yet so when it picks up something from the nerves that used to go down there it registers something happening in the leg that’ not there. You shouldn’t worry you’ll be surprised how well you can get about on prosthetic legs. I’ll get someone to come and talk to you about it.’

She was true to her word. Before the end of the day, I got visit from both physio and occupational therapists. They assessed my needs, gave me details of what could be done for me and gave me some idea time scale. It seemed that it was likely to take six months before I could start walking again. The damage to my hands was due to burns. I was assured they would improve in time and I could look forward to using them normally. I didn’t understand the full implications of the loss of my legs but by the time the two girls had finished I felt a little better. All that changed the following day.

I was surprised to see my first real visitor come through the door. Surprised because my father in law, Tom Alexander wasn’t the person I most expected to see. The look on his face told me he was shocked to see me. I guessed no one had told him about my legs. It didn’t worry me, my conversation the previous day told me that I should be able to carry on working once my recovery was complete.

‘Well, Robert you seem to have got yourself in a right mess haven’t you?’

‘Don’t worry about me Tom; I’ll be able to work again in a couple of months. It’ll be from a wheelchair at first but I expect to be walking in six months. I’ve got to admit though I’m getting a bit worried about what’s happening outside of this place. Has something happened to Beth? Why hasn’t she come to see me?’

‘You’re a smart chap Rob; surely you’ve figured it out by now. She knows Rob. She knows it all and so do I. I don’t know who you’ve upset but someone has stirred up a hell of a shit storm and it’s all coming raining down on you. What Bethany knows is that you’ve been having affairs with two, probably three other women. I have here a letter from her solicitor advising you that Beth is divorcing you and asking for details of your solicitor.’

‘No Tom she’s got it all wrong, I’m not having affairs with anyone. Someone must’ve seen me with female customers and jumped to the wrong conclusion. I swear to you Tom, it’s all perfectly innocent.’

My heart sank as Tom pulled a bunch of photographs from his briefcase. They showed me taking two different women into hotel rooms. He placed them on the bed for me to look at. I didn’t know what to say at first.

‘The thing is Rob, these women are not customers. They both work in our Newcastle office, so why were you taking them to dinner and why were they in a Newcastle Hotel with you?’

I tried the offensive. ‘I don’t believe you had me followed? If you’d asked I could’ve explained all this.’

‘We didn’t, someone else did and he’s done a hell of a good job. The police have impounded your desktop and laptop computer and we’ve had enquiries from the Internal Revenue Service in the USA. They say you owe them money’

‘Still none of this affects our working relationship. I’ve done a good job for you even if Beth does divorce me, you can’t mean to let me go?’

Tom pulled more items from his briefcase. ‘It seems that you’ve been stealing money from us. You claimed hotel rooms on expenses; we have dinners, supposedly entertaining clients, clients that don’t exist. That constitutes gross misconduct making you liable to instant dismissal. That’s exactly what the board has decided to do.’

‘So what sort of severance package are you offering?’

‘You misunderstand me, Rob; we’re not offering you anything. You’ve been fired. You can try to fight it, but I wouldn’t advise it. Some of the board want to press criminal charges.’

‘How did you find out all this? Where did all this come from?’

‘That’s the thing, I don’t know. It all came anonymously but everything he sent me checks out. I would expect a visit from Revenue and Customs. You’ve been claiming tax relief for things the company has paid for. Like I said, you’ve upset somebody and he’s paying you back big time. Best of luck, ‘

With that, he gathered up the documents and photographs and left me. I’d just started to come to terms with losing my legs, now I’d lost my job and family. Who the hell could be doing this to me? Who could possibly know so much about me? Tom talked about the IRS. Who could possibly know about what happened in the USA? Maybe somebody from the States had tracked me down? After Tom’s visit, my mood took a downturn.

The only thing that gave me any pleasure was being fed by the nurses. I found Nurse Evans particularly attractive. She had short blonde hair, blue eyes, a slightly pointed chin with plump lips. Her smile was bright and always lifted me. I did notice the ring she wore, but what difference does that make? As I ate I talked about my problems. Of course, I put a spin on it that made me the innocent party. She expressed contempt for Bethany, dumping her man in his hour of need. That meant that I got plenty of sympathetic touches. Unfortunately, they only served to remind me that I had lost most of the feeling in my hands and face.

The nights were the worst, even before he came back. All alone in the dark, I had nothing to do but contemplate my future, and relive my past. It was the night after Tom Alexander’s visit that he came back. That voice that I couldn’t place. This time I could at least see the shadow of him. I was awakened by my bed light coming on. Fixed to the wall above my bed it bathed the bed in light but left the rest of the room in shadow. After it came on, I looked around but could see no one. Then came the voice from the corner of the room.

‘Hello Bobby, welcome to the world. I thought you were a goner. You know, if you’re going to drive cars like that lovely old Jag you really must learn how to handle them.’

I reached for the call button to let the nurse know I needed help. It wasn’t there. I started trying to move my pillows trying to find it.

‘Looking for this Bobby.’ He held up the button and the cable attached to it. ‘Don’t bother I unplugged it. Don’t want anyone disturbing our little chat do we.’

‘Who are you? What do you want from me?’

‘You mean you don’t recognise me, Bobby. I am disappointed.’

‘No I don’t recognise you, and stop calling me Bobby only my parents ever called me that’

‘Let’s just call me a dream. Not a nice dream but a dream nonetheless. You know I was surprised that you ended up in this state. I hadn’t expected you to launch yourself off the cliff like that. There was room to get past you know. I didn’t expect you to make it but I certainly didn’t expect anything as spectacular as you managed.’

‘It was you. You forced me off the road. You bastard, I’ll make you pay for that.’

‘Oh come on Bobby, I don’t think you are in any position to make threats. Anyway, I didn’t force you off the road. There was room to pass. You just had to concentrate on your driving and remember which car you were driving. There’s no Anti-Lock braking on a lovely old car like that. You have to concentrate Bobby, but you weren’t even looking at the road.’

‘I was looking for my phone.’

I could hear him laughing at me. ‘Oh Bobby, that’s priceless. You’re lying there with no legs and burned to buggery because you wanted to answer your phone.’

‘Who are you? What have I done to you to make you hate me so much?’

‘Figure out the first one and you’ll have the answer to the second. I think it’s time I left you to sleep.’

He got up and walked towards the bed. The light went out and I could hear him scratching about at something.

‘Tell me, is there anything more to come.’

‘That rather depends on whether the yanks want to extradite you. Apparently, they have outstanding charges of filing a fraudulent tax return. Good Night.’

I heard him drop the call button down to the bedside. By the time I managed to get the button in my hand and push it, he was long gone. The night nurse came in still trying to tuck her hair up.

‘Yes, Mr McIntyre what’s wrong?’

‘There was a man in my room. Who was he?’

‘Sorry sir, I’ve not seen anyone on the ward tonight.’

‘You must’ve seen him; he would’ve been going out as you came in.’

‘I saw no one. Are you sure he was here?’

‘Of course he was here. I’ve lost my legs not my mind.’

‘I meant no offence, but I’ve seen no one and dreams can seem very real. Now, why don’t I get you comfortable again so you can get back to sleep?’

I let her plump up my pillows and I settled back down in the bed. Could it really have been a dream? I didn’t think so, but I suppose it was possible. I just wished I could place that voice.

The Man

I left my office around eight and made a point of saying goodnight to Les the security man at the gate. I say security; his main job was to ensure that shoppers didn’t use our car park as a free alternative to all the shoppers parking areas. It was only after office hours that the security side came into play. The rain was coming down hard making it a miserable job.

‘Much longer of your shift to go Les?’

‘Not much Mr Shaftoe, I’m off at 10. Can’t come soon enough in this weather.’

‘I don’t suppose it can. Good night Les, try to stay dry.’

‘I will sir, good night.’

I put the Morgan into gear and eased her out of the gate. At least they had improved the soft tops and mine was waterproof. I drove the narrow roads up to Shap with a heavy heart. I’d checked my computer before I left and the trace program showed Sara’s phone to be just outside Carlisle, not in Glasgow as she’d said. I pulled into my Garage, closed the door and went inside. I didn’t feel much like cooking so I picked up the phone and ordered a Chinese Takeaway. Forty minutes to an hour, they told me, which gave me plenty of time to change and sit around feeling miserable. I went up to my bedroom changed into some jeans and a tee shirt then went down to get a beer from the cupboard. I looked at the rain outside the window and decided on a bottle of Piddle in the Hole, a Dorset Beer. I settled down to watch TV but could only find Soaps. I was on my second beer and just about to resort to internet surfing when the doorbell rang.

The chap delivering my Chinese meal was grateful for the shelter afforded by our large front porch. He was very polite and apologised for parking on my drive. Seems he was trying to keep as dry as possible. I found him some cash for the meal plus a small tip and he left. As the man from the Chinese takeaway left, Sara’s Audi came up the drive and into the garage. She walked into the kitchen just as I was taking the food from the bag.

‘I hope there’s enough there to share with me. This girl’s had a long drive and she’s hungry’

‘And what if there’s not enough here to satisfy your hunger?’

‘Well, ‘ she said running her fingers around my neck then up to my lips. ‘If there’s not enough on the plate I might just have to start on you.’

‘In that case, you’re definitely on short rations.’

‘Good, you put the food out and I’ll take my bag upstairs and get changed’

Everything was ready when she came back down wearing a white silk Kimono with large purple passion flowers printed on it. She was still wearing her stockings and heels. She sat down and started helping herself to my dinner. The good thing about a Chinese takeaway, there is always more than enough for one person. She sat opposite me and pushed her fork into a ball of pork covered in sweet and sour sauce. She reached over and offered it to my mouth. All the time I was thinking that she certainly hadn’t given him much time. She must have left Carlisle shortly after I left the office. In the end, my curiosity got the better of me.

‘Are you going to tell me what happened? I wasn’t expecting you home until tomorrow.’

‘No, I don’t suppose you were. I hope I didn’t ruin anything for you. You didn’t have to cancel your date or anything?’ She was smiling at me knowing full well, there was no one in the world I wanted to be with more.

‘No I haven’t cancelled yet, it was supposed to be a breakfast date. So why have you decided to ruin my plans.’

‘For the same reason, you haven’t really got a date. A night out clubbing with six girls out on the pull can’t compare with a night at home with my husband.’

‘What do you mean clubbing I thought you were going to see a show?’

‘So did I but at lunch, she told me they were going out clubbing, and she had every intention of getting laid. There’s only one man I want to do that with.’

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to think I meant as much to her as she did to me, but how could I? She had gone to meet him but she couldn’t have waited long. Maybe she just went to tell him she wasn’t going to do it. She must have chosen me; why else would she be here?

‘Oh, really and who might that be?’

‘You silly man, after twenty-three-years don’t you think you’ve left it a bit late to get all insecure. Now I’ve got something to show you, I bought myself a little present’

She stood up, untied the Kimono, eased it off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. She stood before me wearing something I had never seen before. It was made of thin leopard print chiffon. It featured a bra made of triangles of the chiffon and the briefest of tie side panties. The two were joined by fabric in the shape of a Maltese Cross, the cross member of which wrapped around her waist. I could feel my eyes widen and my mouth open.

‘Does that look mean you like it?’

‘Yes I like it, whatever it’s called’

‘It’s called a playsuit, for obvious reasons.’

‘Well if that’s your present, where is mine?’

She stood with one knee bent forward, her arms extended and finger pointed to the floor. ‘I am your present, come and take me.’

She took me by the hand and led me up to the bedroom. Once there she started to undress me. As she peeled off my tee shirt, I could feel her breasts rubbing against me with only the thin layer of Chiffon between us. Her nipples were hard and I could feel them rubbing against me. I was immediately aroused. She released my belt buckle and unbuttoned the waistband of my jeans. She knelt down to pull my jeans down and as she did so, my swollen dick almost took her eye out. As the boxers came down, she looked at it.

‘Oh that’s sweet; he is so pleased to see me.’ She looked up at me. ‘Do you think he likes my playsuit?’

‘I’m sure he loves your playsuit but he might want to get you out of it.’

She looked directly at my erect cock. ‘Don’t you worry big boy, you can have me whatever way you want.’

She kissed the end of my cock then took the head of it into her mouth. I could feel her tongue working on me as she moved her head back and forth. She worked my dick for a while before pulling her head back and letting her lips slip off it. She stood up, put an arm around my neck and kissed me.

‘Make love to me Ronnie; take me to that other place. I want to feel the way only you can make me feel.’

I desperately wanted to believe her words but for a short while, little Ronald softened. Sara didn’t notice as I scooped her up in my arms and laid her on the bed. Her nipples were prominent and clearly visible through the fabric. I lay down beside her and started to stroke her body. I pulled her close to me as I ran my hands over her back and down over her arse. As I reached her waist, she pushed her hips towards me and one leg came across behind mine.

‘Oh yes Ronnie, love me. Love me please.’

I undid the bow on one side of her tie side panties and allowed the fabric to fall away from her body. She pushed against my rigid cock and it pushed between her legs. I could feel her trying to slide her pussy up and down my dick. I pushed her onto her back, undid the bow on the other side of the panties, and pulled them away from her arse and pussy. Moving down the bed, I rested my face on her mound kissing and biting at it. I moved further down and kissed her lips.

‘It’s very smooth down here.’ I kissed her again. ‘Mm I like it like this; I think my chin is rougher.’

‘Yes and it feels wonderful’

I probed with my tongue and her legs fell wide apart. I found her clit and licked around it, exposing it to my lips. A little sucking had her forcing her mons up into my mouth. Her hands came down on the back of my head and she pushed down as if she was trying to force me into her pussy headfirst. Her breathing became loud and the flesh around her pussy got very wet as her body thrashed about. I knelt between her legs and ran my hands up her sides. She pushed her head back into the pillow, lifting her shoulders off the bed. I reached behind her and undid the bra then pulled the little triangles of chiffon off of those gorgeous orbs of flesh. Her nipples were not only erect, they seemed to be blushing they were so red. I found them even more attractive, my head was drawn to them. I took one in my mouth, I sucked, pinched it with my lips, even bit down on it lightly. She threw her arms around my neck and pulled my head down onto her breast. I took as much as I could into my mouth as she pushed her body up to me. I lifted my head and moved to the other breast.