Chapter 10

The two of them came in together. Just wanted to gang up on me I was sure.

“Well, hello asshole, just had to play the hero didn’t yuh,” said Sammy. “Now, look where it’s got yuh. You’re gonna be rich while the rest of us suckers are still gonna be sweating blood for our daily bread.”

I knew the man was trying to make me feel better, but I really wasn’t into it right at that moment. “Yeah, well it is what it is,” I said. “Anyway, thanks for coming by, you guys. It means a lot. Henry had been holding back; well, he was older than us.

“You okay, Jim,” he said, finally. I shrugged.

“Yeah, more or less,” I said. “You know how it is. Sometimes the bad luck outweighs the good. In the end it’s all the same. I mean I guess it all evens out, yuh know?”

“Yeah, I do. Tough break, Jim. The toughest, especially for a guy like you. You deserve a better gig,” said Henry.

“I don’t know about that. But what you said, Sammy,” I said looking at him. “I am gonna find out my rights about that falling beam or whatever it was. I mean the part of the scaffolding that damn near killed me and the others. Maybe I can at least do for my kid if there’s any insurance there. I mean if the builders have any insurance. They gotta have it right?”

“You betcha,” said Sammy. “Want me to check it out?”

“Nah, I’ll get a legal eagle to do that. I figure he’ll do it on the come if you know what I mean,” I said. The two visitors nodded.

We talked for some time and then they had to go.

After Sammy and Henry left I got kind of an unusual visit. Captain Traynor came and he was accompanied by his wife, Dora Traynor. It occurred to me that I’d been seein’ the guy for the last few years, but I had never heard his first name. Kind of a nuthin’ thing, but for some reason or no reason it bugged me.

“Hello Jim,” said the Captain.

“Hi Captain. Dora. Nice of you to come by,” I said.

“We’ve tried a few times these last days,” said Dora, “but you were under. We just got back from downtown: Tuesday Bible study.” She noticed that I kept glancing back at the door.

“Your family is letting everyone else have their moment,” she said. “I believe they’ll be in and stay for the rest of visiting period after the rest of us are gone.” I sagged back in my sheets.

It came to me that I had not even seen my stumps. I hadn’t tried. I was, I realized, frankly afraid to see them. I knew I would eventually have to, but I was in no hurry. No indeed.

The Captain and Dora and I talked for quite a while. They told me about some of the programs that the church had that might be of help to me down the line, including furnishing me with a part time job if I decided that that might be a good fit for me. I knew I might have to consider that very thing down the line. There weren’t many places gonna be much help to me in finding a job, not with no legs. Still, there were other things I had to take care of first.

One of those things was going to be getting used to using a wheelchair, and being in one virtually every waking moment. I’d need to learn how to take a shower and cook my food sitting down and how to drive a car with controls on the steering wheel if I ever got to a place where I could afford a car again. Yeah there was going to be a lot to do and no help around for me to depend on; it’d all be on me.

Oh, I knew I was going to get an offer from the dynamic duo, but could I stand being in their house knowing he was going to be fucking her just up the staircase? I just wasn’t sure I could do it. Especially knowing I would probably never have another piece of ass as long as I lived. And the tears came again, that just as the Traynors were leaving. I don’t think that they noticed. That was something to be thankful for I guessed.

It was some little time before the Pollards showed up. They were a forlorn looking group. I think I was actually feeling a little sorry for them. I was also afraid of them. The thing I was most afraid of was maybe having to depend on them even in the short run. God how I feared it, and apart from letting myself starve to death there was going to be little choice. But hell, maybe they wouldn’t even offer. Hah, there is indeed a “potential” upside to everything.

“Oh my Jimmy,” sobbed Claire. “Oh my! I am so fucking sorry, sir, so fucking sorry!” She came to me and wrapped her arms around my sweat soaked body. Well, I was warm, very warm. She pulled back and her husband came and literally knelt by my bed. Oddly he didn’t say anything but his tears did. Well, what the hell, I’d be shedding a lot more of those myself in the near future that was a fucking given!

“Jimmy,” said Claire, coming around to the other side of the bed, “you can’t stay in your house. Her house. She’s...”

“I know,” I said, finishing the sentence for her.

“Yes, well, you need to stay with us at least until you figure out what you want to do. Okay?” she said.

I thought it odd that she put potential limits on my staying with them. Maybe I was still just being paranoid, or cynical or something, but that’s what it felt like she was saying to me: I could stay with them a while, I knew that. They undoubtedly felt that they owed me, oh yeah. But them giving up any significant anything to make life better for me was not gonna be in the cards that was for damn sure; well, that was my thinking. But, for the short term I would need them and there was no getting around it. But as soon as I could I’d be getting out of there and leaving them to their happy lives that also “a” very certitude for damn sure.

“Don’t worry, Claire, I won’t be bothering you. I’ll get a place soon enough. I can stay with Sammy until then,” I said.

Sammy had offered me a room in his place until I could get on my feet—yeah and those were actually his exact words—and I had told him I’d let him know. Problem with Sam was that he was finally talking about getting married to Miss Watson, and I sure didn’t want to be in the way of newlyweds. But maybe for the short term.

“What the fuck!” said Rodney, speaking for the first time. “Of course you’ll be staying with us. Nobody is putting time limits on you staying with us. You can stay forever if you want. All Claire was saying...” She held her hand up to stop her husband from talking. She took over.

“All I meant, Mister, was that you have always been so hard to keep around that I didn’t want to seem like I was forcing you to do anything that you didn’t want to do. I know how you think, Jimmy. So just stop this martyrdom stuff right now...” she started.

“Well fuck you, Claire, ex-wife, cheater, rule setter! Just fuck you! Get the fuck out of here! Now!” I screamed. “I don’t need your fucking charity!”

“Jimmy! Stop it. I know I do things wrong say things wrong, yes, even think things wrong; but now it’s you doing it wrong. Please goddamn it forgive this whore of an ex-wife. I need it Jimmy. I need your forgiveness. I need it bad! Okay!” Her sobbing actually broke my heart, go figure.

It was clear that the bitterness I was feeling, and had let boil over, was more than apparent to the two of them

“Yes, you’ve been hurt real bad, Jim. And you got hurt saving my life and the life of my husband and of our baby, yours and mine. Oh-fucking-’kay!” she said. I nodded.

There was another of those long moments of quiet. Even Rodney whose tears were staining the floor around him wasn’t talking.

“Okay, I guess,” I said. I did feel a little chastised by her words. In point of fact they, the words, did make sense on some level.

On day nine of my stay at Grayson, she finally showed up—Nadine.

She came in looking down at the floor. “I am so sorry, Jimmy. I should’ve been here sooner. I know what you must think of this girl, but...” she said.

“Nadine, I’m going to make this as easy for ‘me’ as possible. Okay?

“I know how you must feel and all. I understand, really. Have a good life and know that I will always be grateful for what you did for me when I was down and out. I wished it could have worked out, but you’re still young and you need a man who can, well, be a man for you, Not an invalid who would be nothing but a burden. It’s all right. Come here. Give me a kiss,” I said.

She edged closer to me as though I were some toxic thing. I actually felt sorry for her. She came to me and gave me a kiss on the lips.

“Goodbye, Nadine. Have a good life. She touched my cheek, turned, and walked out of my life. I would never see Nadine Spence again. Goddamn it I was sad. I was looking at maybe being sad forever. Damn it!

I was out of the hospital on day ten of my incarceration there. And, in spite of Claire’s protestation to the contrary, I was still wary of going to their place to stay. It was, frankly, the last place on earth that I wanted to be staying. So as we drove I was doing my level best to think how I could shorten my stay there.

“I did have to give Claire credit for thoughtfulness on one score. She’d gone to our place, Nadine’s house, after our meet up in the hospital, and gotten all of my things. There wasn’t that much. Nadine had apparently been there and had helped her pack it all. In addition to having gotten my stuff, she’d had my pants altered to allow for the fact that I no longer had any legs. I hadn’t even thought of that until we were leaving the hospital and she’d handed me a pair of my altered Dockers to put on. And yes, she was there to see me do it. I guess she didn’t trust me not to run away.

I gave her a look when I saw the shortened version of that element of my wardrobe. “I had it done. Don’t get mad, but I measured you while you were sleeping. It had to be done, so I did it,” she said.

“Thanks,” I said, “that was nice of you.” I know my look had to have been ultimately sad; she didn’t comment.

It was late afternoon when we arrived at the house. Rebecca greeted me, kinda formally which was nice but likely under orders from the woman of the house.

And it was nine year-old Rebecca who informed me that my room would be a little while in being made ready for me. It seemed the part time maid that the Pollards employed was making the final arrangements. Oh, and she informed me that my things were already inside it.

I thanked her, and I got a hug from her in my new and shiny and electrically mobile wheelchair. I would find out later that it was custom made to order for me by my ex-best friend.

I was glad my stuff was in my room. There was an item I really wanted to get my hands on. Well, I did and I didn’t. It was my mini-recorder. I would soon know whether or not I was actually welcome at the Pollards. I had the feeling that Rodney would have been fine with my being there, but Claire, not so much; that in spite of her words at the hospital.

Well, I didn’t have to hurry. I would spend the next few days making plans. I wanted to talk to my baby some, I needed to contact a lawyer, and I wanted to be able to plant my listening device for best effect. Problem was that particular venue was their bedroom. And, their bedroom was upstairs. But, I’d figure out something; there had to be a way.

My opportunity to find out what was what came three days into my stay with them. A period by the way, which had been more or less uneventful. On day three the two of them had a business do of Rodney’s to go to. They would be out for the next several hours and Rebecca was with a friend at the other’s house, some birthday party or other.

I wheeled myself over to the stairs and used my arms to push me up and out of my chair. I sat backwards on the bottom step and, using my arms, I propelled myself up one step at a time, there were fifteen of them, all the way to the top. I used a modified method of pushing myself up and skittering a foot or two at a time into their room. It was a nice room, and very large.

I looked around as I sat on the floor with my ass a bit on the rough side having done the stair-climbing bit. Then I saw the perfect place, her vanity. I placed the recording device under where the chair was supposed to go and all the way to the back and just behind the edge of the vanity’s backside. I’d set it for voice activation. It’d likely be a few days before I could retrieve it, but that was the breaks. Something else got my attention just before I started my exit: pictures of the two of them all lovey and family and everything; Rebecca was in some of them. It occurred to me that I had no pictures of my baby, none, nor of Claire and me from when we were married either.

I reversed my strategy to get back to the ground floor and waited. It would be hours before they came home but I was good. Everything was good. I knew they had a church thing to go to on Sunday: they were Catholics of the dyed in the wool kind, except when it came to divorce of course; but the new pope didn’t seem to have the same hang ups as did the popes of yore. At any rate I’d be able to collect the evidence then, well, if there was any.

“So you’re going to church?” I said.

“Yes,” said Claire. “You can come along if you’re of a mind to.”

“No, no, not today. I’m still not doing too good. It was a challenge getting in and out of the bathtub this morning. I need to learn to do for myself better than I so far have,” I said. She nodded, but her look screamed that she wanted to say something, something she was apparently concerned that I might not like. I called her on it.

“Claire? Something you wanna say?” I said.