Chapter 9

The doctor was true to his word. Two days later I was released from the hospital. They wheeled me out to the car, a car that I didn’t recognize but one that was very pleasing.

“A Porsche, huh?” I asked Ashlee who was there helping me.

“Yes sir. You got one during our first trip together to New York and that was traded in a couple of years ago on this. What do you think?”

The steel blue with tan leather Porsche Panamera was amazing.

I was able to get in without much pain and I ran my hands over the dash, the seat leather and looked at the buttons on the console between the chairs. “I like this car very much. Is it yours or mine honey?”

Ashlee got in the driver seat and fired up the engine. “This is yours. All yours.”

The orderly closed the door wished me well. I thanked him for his help.

This surprised me, but when Ashlee pulled away from the curb, she actually hit the gas and spun the tires as we left. I instinctively grabbed the dashboard and held on. “HEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”

Ashlee smiled that fun loving smile that I enjoy and asked, “What’s wrong honey? Too fast for you?”

“I wasn’t quite expecting it, so next time, warn me. Would you?”

“Ok honey. I’ll warn you the next time I take it too fast for my poor beat up husband.” she laughed at her own joke as she drove me home.

I knew the area of town we were in. She headed north from the hospital on highway 71 and then turned west on I-70, got off underneath Bartle Hall and turned south. “Where are we going? I’m not really in the mood for eating on the plaza right now.”

She looked at me in surprise, then it dawned on her. “No honey. I’m taking us home. We don’t live in Blue Springs. We bought a condo downtown. One that I think you will really enjoy.”

I sat back and watched the town I love pass me by. Ashlee drove my Porsche through midtown and ended up at the One Park Place condo building. My mouth dropped open and my eyes got big. I had always dreamed about this building. The architecture was fascinating and the location had amazed me being right in the middle of everything that I had dreamed about living here when Sam and I were married. Now it seems that I have a lot more to remember about being Paul Johnson.

Ashlee badge us into the underground garage and pulled into another gated parking area and pulled into the spot labeled ‘P. Johnson 3’.

“Ready for more surprises?”

I took a breath, steeled my nerves, “Yes I am. Let’s go.”

The hospital insisted that I keep my arm in a sling just to give the shoulder more time to heal and not over stressed which may tear something that is healing. I was able to one arm my way out and I looked around at the other cars parked around us. An orange Jeep with black canvas top with white wheels was parked in ‘P. Johnson 1’, a Cadillac Escalade ESV parked in ‘P. Johnson 2’, my Porsche, then a little Honda Accord. I had to pause and look them over before going upstairs. The jeep had a little sticker in the back window, ‘In Memory of Samantha, David and Josh.’ I looked in through the driver’s window. you could tell it had been driven. there were fast food wrappers on the floor, dirt on the tires and the body. The tires were not new as they showed wear. I looked to Ashlee for confirmation. “That is the same jeep you bought after Sam and the kids died. You drive it all the time and you have taken your family out in it every chance you get. This is your baby.”

“How do you feel about it?”

“I think that the ride is too bumpy for my taste but I love this Jeep when the snow flies or when the sun comes out in the spring, summer and fall.”

“Good. I’m glad that you like it. Maybe we should take it to the drive in this weekend like we did when the babies were really babies?”

Another memory for me.

Ashlee got a smile on her face and bounced up and down for a second with joy then kissed my face. “Oh yes, we shall take it to the drive in for sure.”

I moved to the Cadillac. “Yours?”

She got next to it and hugged it. “Yes, this is my baby.”

“Why the ESV model?”

She reached into her purse and took out her key, unlocked it and showed me around. “Because I can carry me, Kaitlyn, all three of the kids in their boosters and enough stuff to keep us alive even in the worst weather.” Sure enough, all three of the boosters were in their chairs in the second row. She took me to the back and opened the liftgate. Back there was stuff. A stroller big enough for three, a cargo bag with clothes in it and three teddy bears. I pulled one out and showed it to Ashlee. “Webster.” I put it back and pulled out a second. “Teddy.” The third bear. “Buster.”

“For the kids in case they got fussy as babies?” I asked her.

“Yes, but they still will ask for them if they forget theirs at home when we go out and about. You would be surprised how often teddy bears are still used in our home honey.”

The rest of the things in the back were odds and ends that obviously get used, but didn’t strike me as interesting.

We closed the back and I moved next to the Honda. “That is Kaitlyn’s car. When she has time off, she takes her own car. When she takes the kids or WE take the kids we take the Caddy.”

“Oh, that makes sense and makes me happy as well. That Caddy is a tank.”

Ashlee takes my hand and leads me to the elevator. The rubs her purse against a card reader then pushes the top floor apartment. “What’s in your purse?”

“Oh, yeah, security card reader to keep people from coming upstairs.”

“What happens if you or I lose our cards?”

“Talk to the manager downstairs and he will make a new one for you.”

When we got to the top floor, the lobby at the top was quite small and there were two opposing doors for us to choose from. Ashlee went to the door on the left and put her key in and opened it up. “Who lives over there?”

“No one at the moment. But I have seen Jonathan showing it off a couple of times though so we may get neighbors sooner than we think.”

“Do you mean Jonathan from church Jonathan?” I asked as she got the door unlocked and opened.

“Yes. Him.” She went in and yelled, “We’re Home!”

I followed her in and then six little feet came pounding across the floor all yelling “DADDY!!!”

The two little girls got to me first followed by a little boy who took the middle while the girls each took a leg. “Oof. Easy does it.” I warned them. I leaned over and gave each of them a hug and kiss.

“Are you ok Daddy? Wanna come and play with us? Grandpa got me a new game you have to come and see it...”

Yes, it is hard to write or even think when three little kids start talking all at the same time. they were happy to have me home and wanted me to join in on their fun and game right away. Ashlee got down to their level and gave them hugs as well. Once the kids had made sure that I was alive and well, they filtered off to go back to whatever they were doing leaving me standing in the entry looking at my parents and two other people that I didn’t recognize.

“Hi mom, dad.” My mother came to me and gave me a gentle hug and dad came, shook my hand and then gave me a manly hug.

“I’m so glad to see you out of the hospital.” My dad said.

“Thanks dad.” I looked up, and the other two people were still there smiling waiting their turn. The woman came to me and offered me a hug, which I accepted. Then the man, who seemed to be the woman’s spouse came to me and gave me a manly hug and hand shake. “I’m sorry, my mind seems a bit fuzzy, but who are you?”

The woman spoke first. “I’m Evelyn and this is my husband John. We are Ashlee’s parents. It is so good to see you up and around. When we heard that you were shot and hit your head, well, we came right up.”

“Well it is good to meet you, again, for the first time.”

“I heard that you had lost some of your memory, I didn’t understand how bad it is.” John said.

My mom jumped in, “How much did you lose?”

I looked between the four of them, “Mom, dad, I remember me and everything up to about five years ago. Unfortunately, I don’t remember very much of the past five years.”

Mom and Evelyn both gasped and covered their mouths with their hands. “What are you going to do?” Dad asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, “Start putting it back together I suppose.”

Evelyn came to me, took me by the arm and pulled me into the house. “Well let me start by showing you around home.”

So she did. She took me through the nursery, the powder room, the nanny’s room then out into the living room, the kitchen, through the dining room then past the family room on into the master’s bedroom closet and bathroom finally ending the tour at my study/office. All in all, I was completely blown away. A couple of little memories came back to me. One of this place being empty when we bought it and had it redone to suit us. The other was of trying to get three car seats in through the door the first time. It was not a pretty sight. I nearly dropped Justin.

“What is it Paul?” Evelyn asked now that I had stopped and stood transfixed by the front door.

“I remember trying to come in through that door with three car seats. I remember almost dropping Justin.”

“Yes, that’s right. You did. Do you remember your parents and us being there?” Evelyn asked me.

“Not at the moment, but I get the feeling that you are telling me the truth, and that means a lot to me.”

“Good.” she said and led me back to the family room.

Everyone was sitting around talking. The kids were sitting on grandparent lap and everyone was getting along. I looked this scene over and felt like an outsider. I was the only one who didn’t remember, who didn’t know, who needed the most help remembering and who didn’t feel at home.

Ashlee went to the kitchen and I followed her. “Ash.”

She turned to me and gave me another megawatt smile. “Now that is my husband right there.”

“Huh?”

“Are you starting to remember again? You used my nickname that time instead of my full name.”

I paused and thought, “Why yes. I did just use that didn’t I?” I gave it some thought and I realized that after we started dating, I picked that as my nickname for her. “How about that?”

“I knew it would come back to you.” She went back to the fridge and pulled out fixings for sandwiches. She would hand me things, I would turn and put them on the counter. She then pulled out a large pot and put it on the stove.

I checked the pot. Beef soup. Shredded beef, veggies and after giving it a stir, matzo balls. “Is this the recipe from Grandma Johnson?” I asked Ashlee.

She said it was and then pulled the recipe book out from the shelf, opened it and showed it to me. It was my grandmother’s recipe, the one I remember eating as a kid. The matzo balls weren’t really made with the correct stuff. Grandma always used crushed crackers for hers, but she still used the name. Cracker ball beef soup would be more accurate, but I was a kid. So what did I know. It was my grandma’s soup and she made it so everything would be right with the world.

I closed the recipe book and checked the cover. It had pictures of everyone I remember growing up with. There was Grandma Johnson, my fraternal grandmother, my mom and many other’s that if I asked I would recognize as being family. The inside cover had a sticker that said this book was given to Ashlee Davis on Christmas of 2014 from Jill Johnson to welcome her to the family. I looked for my mom and showed her the book and gave her a thumbs up. She laughed and gave me a thumbs up as well. I tried to remember this day but I only got glimpses of the day. Mere feelings. The joy of Christmas, the happiness I felt being at home on Christmas, things like that. I didn’t really have a firm grasp of a real memory, just vague shadows.

I put the book back where Ashlee had gotten it and joined the goings on in my home.

While I was away mentally remembering my grandmother and everything else, Ashlee called everyone to the kitchen where sandwiches were made, and once the soup was hot, we all had a bowl.

The rest of the day, went smoothly. I was in a home. I was surrounded by family. I had no real need for anything else. i felt like a stranger living in someone else’s life. this didn’t feel like home, my home.

It was still light outside when I stood up and went to the powder room. When I left there, I was looking at a bowl of keys by the front door. I moved a few of them around, seeing Porsche, Cadillac, Jeep, a Ford key a couple of others that I didn’t recognize. “How many cars does one man need?” I asked myself under my breath.

I picked up Jeep key and looked it over. It was obviously the oldest key in the bowl. The teeth on the key looked worn and the key ring looked worn with scratches and such on it. I held it in my hand trying to remember why I bought this Jeep. The name on the back window spoke of losing my family so maybe this was my tribute car to their memory. But why all of the others?

Porsche? I had always loved Porsche so it must be a dream car purchase. But why the four door model? why not the two door sports car?

The Caddy? Well my wife needs the best with the most room for the kids and such and that Cadillac was big enough and nice enough for someone like her.

The Ford? Maybe I own a truck. It wasn’t coming to me.

What were the others? I didn’t recognize the logos, hopefully they will come to me.

I put my hand into my pocket placing the Jeep key in my pocket just like I always do. I then felt my back pocket, nope, I was wearing shorts without pockets in the back. I had a small sense of panic when i realized that I didn’t have my wallet on my person. Where was my wallet? My phone? Where was my phone? I always had my phone on me, no matter where I was going?

I looked up quickly and headed for my bedroom. I always put my phone on my dresser top at the end of the day before I change for bed, my wallet must be there. The carpet in my room hid my footsteps so I made a silent entry and found my wallet on my dresser top. Good. One thing less to worry about.

I still didn’t have any pockets so I started opening drawers and found my socks and under shorts, then nice t-shirts in the next drawer. Play shorts and workout shorts in the next one. Finally, a drawer for denim and my nicer shorts. I pulled a pair of denim shorts out and began changing.

My bad arm was working and since I didn’t have to move it much, I was able to get dressed without much pain and I even managed to get my arm and shoulder into a nice t-shirt without crying. I was making progress.

Socks. Shoes. Where are my shoes? i walk to the closet room and walk into a large array of suits, dresses, skirts, really nice shirts, dress shoes, heels, pumps of all shapes and after opening a couple of drawers and such, I find lingerie. Silky items. Long full body covering items. Bras of all colors. It was like I was standing in a Victoria Secret store.

“Honey? Are you ok?”

I jumped and closed the drawer in surprise. bang I spin around and find Ashlee standing there watching me.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” I tried to say feeling really guilty looking at her undergarments and all of her silkie things. My face got hot as I blushed a deep red color.

She came to me. “You still don’t remember us yet do you?”

“Not yet.” I stammered, “Sorry for snooping. I was looking for, for, a change of clothes and I couldn’t find shoes to go with my shorts and I started looking around and found your lingerie drawer. Sorry. I shouldn’t be snooping through your things.”

She gave me a gracious smile and opened the drawer back up and pulled out a bra and held it to her chest. “You don’t remember buying me this do you?” I just stood transfixed by the lacy, form fitting piece of female undergarment. “You bought this for me while we were on our honeymoon. It’s from Monte Carlo. Do you remember that?”

I reached out and tentatively touched the offered garment and feelings passed through my mind. Love. Sexual attraction. Joy. Excitement. Even a little bit of embarrassment for some reason. “No, but the feelings from that day are coming back to me.”

She turned, but the bra back in its drawer and close it. “Good. Then tonight, I’ll wear a few more things to try and drum up some more memories. How does that sound?”

My mouth went dry and my palms for sweaty. I got nervous all of a sudden. “Thats.” I squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “That sound lovely.”

“Good.” She leaned in and kissed me. “Now why were in changing clothes in the first place?” she asked all back to business.

I didn’t have an answer, at least one that made sense. “I couldn’t find my wallet.”

“Did you find it? It should have been on your dresser?”

We left the closet room and back to my dresser. “Yes I found it, but didn’t have pockets to hold it in.” I patted my pockets checking their contents. “I just now realized that I don’t have my coin purse, my house keys nor a handkerchief for my pockets either.”