You're So Vain
Chapter 1

Caution: This Fiction Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Consensual, Fiction, Polygamy/Polyamory, Safe Sex, Pregnancy, Slow,

Desc: Fiction Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Everyone needs a hobby, maybe two or three to keep life from getting boring. My three turned out to be Jessica, Helga and I'm still not certain what name the girl behind door number three was using these days. As promised, they made certain that my life would never be boring. I dreaded when it looked like two of them might meet. Blood stains are a bitch to remove. The day all three meet I did not want to even be around.

It had been a rough day and from the way things had been going it looked like, although more enjoyable, perhaps, that was going to continue. I had promised Jessica I would be at her party. You try and refuse anything Jess wants or asks for. Prague to Frankford, to London then and on to New York. Fourteen hours of flying, queues, check ins and customs but she was worth it. Just one kiss from her, let alone the expectation of the night to follow was worth it.

It was not the typical Cast only party; only 200 of her closest friends. Why after all this time she still, well, I mean still tried to be friends, very good friends, friends with benefits I never could figure out. Maybe she wanted to find that certain something that would make me say no to her. Right, like that would ever happen in this lifetime. She had gotten married a few times. Her current bed partner was a real jerk.

Jessica saw me about the same time I saw her.

"Well stud, I guess I won't be bored any longer. Boy's my real man finally got here. Enjoy yourselves without me, I think my dance card just got filled up for the rest of the night. Took you long enough, I almost thought I'd have to cry myself to sleep or worse, find some 'body' to console me."

"Now Jess; I know you might call me a bit late but you know I would never miss your 'company'. It may take me some time to find my way home. Do you 'need' to call your husband should we not find our way tonight?'

The look on her face said it all. "I'm certain one or two of these 'boys' will go running to find him. I'll be in good hands, won't I?"

"Most assuredly Jess."

"I missed you; you know? Don't worry I won't ask where you where. You would never tell me the truth anyway."

"Would you rather I lie to you or just don't tell you? I missed you too. I could never stand being your husband but this way, I wait with baited breath to see you again."

"Smooth! I'll bet you say that to all your girls?"

"There will never be any like you though, Hon!"

The phone was ringing. It was my phone. Not many people had that number, no one in-fact. It was my land line. I had a Sat and cell too but even fewer knew those. Thinking it was another telemarketer, Carmen or Trudy with my 'final offer' to take advantage of the 'new financial stimulus package' now available to me. Right. I had been away a might, took the 'tele' off hook and had just put it right that night.

What a welcome back too. Maybe I'll tell you more later, much later. I told you, I think, that I missed Jess.

In a way I missed having it ring too. I answered, "Hello, Sam's home for wayward girls, are you picking up or dropping off?"

"Hello is this the Greene residence?"

"Damn, a real call. Yes, must have been a crossed line. Who is this?"

"This is Sgt. Carlson, is this Mr. Greene?"

"Yes, Sgt. What can I do for you. I pretty much gave all that I knew to your people at the station!" Jess was acting like she was going to say something. I playfully slapped her bare butt and mouthed that it was not her husband.

"Yes, I have it here. That's how I got your number. Mr. Greene, this will be highly irregular but the lady you saved tonight wanted to reach you, she said she and her family wanted to thank you and, well, insisted I release your name and number to her. I won't do that, this is a continuing investigation, unless you tell me it is OK, then I might just say the wrong thing to her."

"She was sort of pretty Sgt.!"

"No sir, she was beautiful and if a girl like that wanted to thank me, well ... so I called you to see if..."

"Tomorrow! I just got back, need sleep, food, sort of busy right now too and I've already had my allotment of phone calls for today. Maybe 2 or 3:00 pm. She is cute Sgt. isn't she?"

"No, beautiful. OK tomorrow I'll call her back. We never had this conversation Mr. Greene."

"No Sgt., What conversation?"

"Good evening and may tomorrow be even better?"

I sent Jess off after breakfast, saying that business calls.

At 3:02 pm the tele rang again. I tried to ignore it, remembered Sgt. Carlson's call and answered, just 'Hello' this time.

"Is this Mr. Greene, Mr. Greene?"

"Yes, If this is about the $37.50 I owe you, the check is in the mail or soon will be." The voice on the other end left me no doubt who it was.

"No Sir, this is Melissa Jenkins, you 'saved me last night', remember?'

"Oh you were the dancer who lost her top, or was that your bottoms that I picked up at the party?"

"Mr. Greene!"

Oh, your not one of 'them' who spent the night; did I snore? I thought that was someone else. Did I hurt you?"

"No, Mr. Greene, I think maybe you are having part of me pulled a bit."

Why, Miss Jenkins, now why would I do that?"

"It's Mrs. Jenkins as of last month and from what I recall from my single days, I could think of a few reasons."

'Drat, double Drat!' "Mrs. Jenkins was it. Why yes, I do recall saving a pretty 'Damsel in Distress' earlier last night."

"Yes, I realize how hard it might be to remember all your female faces that far back, but my family and I wanted to thank you properly for aiding me! We are new here and I went to that place to meet my husband. I am certain I would not have been alive if you had not shown up. For that I will be eternally grateful. My entire family want to meet and thank you too."

"It was just something anyone would do. The entire New York area is a mix of the good, bad and ugly. Where do you all hail from?"

"England, London, 'Etctually' my husband is with the UN now. We had just settled in last week. By the by, you gave the Constable my address instead of yours, how did you know where we lived?"

"No, I don't believe I did. I gave him 123 Governor's Castle Lane. That is my correct address."

"No that is my Address."

"No! I think I would remember someone a beautiful as you prancing around here, believe me?"

"Mr. Greene! Do you really think I am Beautiful?"

"Does the sun rise each morning? If you had a sister who looked like you, I'd marry her, maybe!"

"I have a 'twin sister' Mr. Greene, should I send her over and start making plans?"

"It's Jim and I'm the 5th floor."

"She is Heather and we are in 433. She is here visiting. Did you say the 5th floor?"


"So you are the 'Mystery Man' everyone has told me about. The man that no one knows or ever sees."

"That's not true, I have a lady (Cute, cute, cute too) that stops by when I'm away, which is like all the time these days, she cleans up, waters the plants, watches the grass grow and has the service clean the pools before she swims in them."

"I don't think Heather should stop over un-announced then?"

"Tell you what, have the whole family over, just tell me when, I'll have corned beef, pastrami, fresh bread, coleslaw and pickles and we can stay on the 6th floor, I'll send a key for the lift so you can go there, you bring the root beers. I think within a week would be best I may have to go out of town again after then."

"There is no 6th floor!"

"Yes there is, that's where the indoor pool and gardens are at, the outside ones are on the roof."

"Oh my! Maybe I should only come. Joke Mr. Greene, only a joke. I think!"

"Jim, Mr. Greene was my father, I think too! Mother had a bad memory back then. A 'Twin Sister', Ehh?"

"Almost, she has the mole on ... never mind, I doubt you would notice."

"Oh, believe me I would, I think I would go over every inch in order to compare."

"Compare to whom?"

"Why, her sister of course, you always want to make certain who is in the shower with you less you call out the wrong name?"

Silence. "Melissa, Melissa, just a joke Melissa, just a joke, maybe?"

After she hung up, there was no longer any question if I was 'up'. She certainly had my attention. I would have to send a few dozen doughnuts to Sgt. Carlson. Twin sister indeed. Heather or Melissa Greene had a nice ring to it, don't you think. I wondered how she and Helga would get along? Marriage was not in the plan. Jess would lead the pack if it was, and you know what I told her about that happening Besides, I never expected to be around that long. Longevity was not one of the job benefits.

Melissa did call back.

Johnny downstairs had several keys to the lift made and gave her one. I hinted that if my friend and her were both alive by next week, she could keep it. He laughed. I was serious, I knew Helga. The Stasi had nothing on her.

I had told Melissa we had an indoor pool. When the lift door opened I was not expecting the almost naked vision before me.

"Greeting, I come in peace! or something like that. I'm Heather. We had a change of plans. Things happen and Melissa and her husband were called back to London. I guess I'm stuck here until I can sell the place for them?"

My only reaction to the topless blonde before me was a Greek phrase about looking a gift horse in the face.

She answered in better Greek than me. "It sounded like Greek, but maybe not. You have an accent that I cannot place?"

"It may be, I learned my Greek in Macedonia recently. It is a little different from Athenian Greek."

"My, my, my, we have quite a bit of treats too, do I have to stay until we eat everything up?"

"As far as I am concerned Heather, if you 'share', you never have to leave here?"

Did I believe in love at first sight? Hell yeah. I also had a hard time thinking that Melissa really had a twin sister or that she and husband had conveniently been recalled to London. No Sir re Bob!

I'm not certain how much time had past. I found I was still holding her hand from when we had met. The sun was still up then, it was not now. I had never felt like this before. I prided myself in not having any 'entanglements'. Even Helga had been only a 'friend with benefits'. She did her own thing, when she needed me I had always been there for her and her for me. It was different from Heather or Melissa or whoever the Hell she wanted to be. I saw her shiver. I pulled her close. It was my downfall. Hers too, maybe.

"I think I am in love with you. My God, Melissa, I think I fell for you the first time I saw you."

"You know?"

"I really don't care what you want to call yourself. I just don't want to lose you. There might be a little problem. My helper from time to time does a bit more than water the plants. We used to work together a few years back and, well, became sort of friends. There is another close personal friend too, but she has her career and husband to see to. I'm just a convenience but I love her too."

Silence. That look. Man, I was 'in trouble' now!

"I think we need to 'sleep' on that. If Helga becomes unreasonable, she will just have to take the first flight home to Prague. Will the food still be good for breakfast or do you plan on feeding me something else?"

Alarm Bells were ringing, bells and buzzers going off on my head. I never, ever said her name or would say that Helga was from Prague. I was had. Almost hook, line and bobber. Whoever she was, she was good, they were good. To trace Helga meant they had connections. To find me, know my schedule, set everything up and invent the story showed a lot of talent and planning had transpired for this to have happened. My Sat phone rang about when it was supposed to. For some time now, every few times I would not 'entertain' her; I had Helga give me a call just in case there was a 'bow wow' factor or worse. It seemed this would be one of the 'or worse' times. Melissa was no dog.

"Excuse me please, my master's voice probably. Things are going to the dogs for me these days."

I answered the phone in a not frequently used Chinese Dialect. It was a signal Helga and I used. It meant like, 'Holy Shit Batman, I have really stepped into it and am in trouble, HELP!"

"Now! You got to be kidding me? I just got back and ... Yes, I understand. No that figure is acceptable but, you pick the damndest time. Give me 15 or 20 to get ready and make a call. Land on the roof or at least hover quietly."


"Breakfast and any 'sleep' will have to wait. I need to get ready, make a call and get you out of here. My ride will be here in a few and, well, if you are still here the ride they give you will only be one-way I'm afraid. They are not 'equal opportunity' employers or very understanding. I guess you had already guessed something like that was the case. They have a saying, 'No one left behind' and in their case, or yours, that is not a good thing. I am sorry, very sorry, you just do not know how sorry I am!"

That call from Helga was monitored by some folks who had a 'whisper' copter on the roof within 12 minutes of the call. That was one thing about my employer, they did not mess around. Control would put me through the wringer though. My hand would be slapped a few times but there was a smile or smirk on his face as he placed some 8x10's on the table before me.

"Maria Isabella Verikova. 25, Polish Mother, Russian Father. NKVD for 3 years. Decent looking too! Maybe we can switch jobs, and I can 'take one' for the team?"

The look I gave him nixed that thought.

"OK then, maybe not!"

I had a feeling I was being 'played' by more than Melissa or Heather or Maria, whatever she called herself.

All of a sudden I kept thinking that a devil known was worth more than those in a bush, or something like that. I would be sending Helga a really nice gift now. With her, I never had to worry about waking up the next morning, or did I? I guess I was attracted to the wrong kind of women or they just knew that I was easy.

'Maria Isabella Verikova' Ehh! Well maybe she could send Helga packing, but I doubted that. BIS had picked Helga over a lot of others. She gave a new meaning to what 'Stiff' competition was to any that looked the wrong way at her. It was funny how we met. I said we had worked together. What I should have said was we tried to kill each other but it was much more enjoyable to kiss and make out, err, make up. That now seemed a long time ago; a very long time ago.

"Is she ready so that I can see her? I hope you guys were not too rough on her. She is really cute."

"Cuter than what's her name or Miss Broadway?"

"A gentleman never tells. I could but I won't, it wouldn't be 'cricket' you know! Besides everyone needs a hobby or two! Life would be boring without them!"

"I don't know why we put up with you?"

"I do, it's either my sparkling personality or you all are hoping I leave you my girls in the will. Fat chance of that happening though."

They were all tall, blue-eyed blondes. I had a feeling though that of the three, Helga would shed a real tear or two if I never came back. Truth be known, I would if something bad happened to her. She would be the closest to a girl I could see as a wife. If John and Emma ever were replaced, the Jim and Helga scenario would be a natural.

I casually emptied the wine she had left out for me. Mama did not raise a foolish boy and I knew Helga liked to play games, deadly games sometimes. Oh Well! It kept one on their toes.

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