We were 4 guys from work, out on a camping trip. Management had suggested it as a kind of bonding exercise. I'm always up for a bit of R&R, even if it is hard; walking, catching your own fish, working out where the hell we are to know where we had to get to. We were dumped at Mount Bintnee, given 4 pieces of map (one each) to share the map reading and told we had 3 days to reach Cape St.Joan on the coast. If we made it there was a dinner booked at the best fish restaurant on the Eastern Seaboard (they said). If we didn't make it, well, fish fingers and laughing fingers on Monday.
This second day had been hard, we'd walked hard to break the back of the journey; but on the plus side, we'd all agreed to do it and no-one had complained. I'd expected Timmy – a Brit who sounded like he had a stick up his arse – to whine. He looked like he would blow over in a breeze, but he surprised everyone, put the maps together, read the terrain like a pro and 'suggested' a route that was longer but avoided what looked like (and was, I checked later) a bog in the valley. I'm a town guy, I use a GPS to get to the end of my block! I was happy to go with his expertise. Jake argued a bit, but Timmy won him over with a smuggled Snickers (how he'd smuggled them in we never found out – we weren't meant to have any extra food).
The fire was lit, the bivouacs bivved (is that a word?) and we sat and 'shot the breeze'. Conversation moved from work to secretaries, to old girlfriends (avoid current stuff so nobody gets upset), to favourite positions.
"What's the most disgusting sex you've ever had?" I forget who asked. There was a break in the conversation. A pause then :
Timmy :"I fucked a girlfriend when she was on her period. Gross out, and the sheets!"
Jake : "I like fucking my girlfriend when she's on her period." He paused and we thought 'trouble brewing'. "but yeah it is messy and gross. I, um, I fucked best friend's girl up the arse after he fell asleep inside her. She fell asleep too – both high as kites; and her arse was just, well whispering to me 'come and get me'. She was convinced he'd done her both ways while she was passed out, and eventually so was he (so I was in the clear). He was so pissed that he couldn't remember it though."
We all damn near choked on the beer (our route had taken in a shop, against the rules) as we laughed loud enough to wake a hibernating bear. Do you get bears up here?
Timmy : "I, oh God, you must promise never to tell anyone, ever!" We promised. "I fucked my elder brother and l let him fuck me. We were 14 and 16 and experimenting. We'd jacked each other off before to get an idea how it felt to have someone else do it. Then he suggested we tried it 'the gay way'. At first I didn't know what he meant. I did take some persuading. But then I did it. Lubed him up, he rubbed me stiff and then I fucked him. He enjoyed me fucking him more than I enjoyed him doing me. Turned out he really was gay. He came out a couple of years later"
"But, your brother dude!" That was Mike, the other guy in the group.
"I know, but, we got on well together, always did. Still do even though I'm straight and we both know we fucked each other. We've never told anyone. But you'll never meet him, he doesn't fly, hates flying, so he'll never visit"
"?" we all made various quizzical noises at Mike.
"I fucked our family dog"
"You fucked Suki?" Suki was his mum's little Pekinese. Mike's mum lived near the office, had called in for a drink with him once or twice, was quite a looker in a blowsy way, and was rumoured to be on the look-out for a new man, preferably younger than her current stud. Mike took the ribbing very well really.
.... There is more of this story ...