Chapter 1

Let me give you the short version of who I am. Nobody buys magazines anymore so I'm working my way through school selling dope. My father took off a couple of years ago. I'd be the first one to admit my mother can be a handful, but apparently she ragged on him once too often and he went to work one day and never came home. Mom's got a job in real estate but sure doesn't seem to make any money at it. Right after my dad split I happened to help a guy at a small rock concert. I saw him drop a bag as some guys chased him and managed to pick it up without being seen. I assumed it was grass but it turned out to be coke. I didn't do coke then and I had recognized the guy, figured I could always use a friend who was a dealer so I went looking. My second day I found his corner and gave him back his stash. To shorten the story, after he was happy that I wasn't a narc, he asked if I wanted a job. I'm not so much a drug dealer as a delivery man. Every one else in the crew is black and I'm the only honky, I have a route that is basically highrises along the lake and a predominately white clientele. I smoke a little and once in a great while will snort a little but all in all I'm the square guy. I use the dope more to score with girls than to get high. I've got this feeling that the black dudes think I'm fun to watch. I really don't care, I make some very nice money and my mother really doesn't give a shit. Any real mom would be wondering what her son is doing at my age to bring in a couple hundred a week. I give mom her money for the house and save every dime I can, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here. Let my mom get drunk on her own. Like the song says, 'don't know where I'm bound, but I'm doing the best I can.'

I grew up near the University of Chicago, we lived in the rich lake front section, yet I knew enough black kids from the poor west end of Hyde Park and Woodlawn. We may have lived over by the rich folks but money was tight. When I wanted to go to the U of C the tuition was a ball buster.

The delivery business was a life saver. As my boss said,"Look I got a delivery list over in your area, it would be a lot better for me to have a honky making my deliveries. All we deal is MJ and coke, a little meth, high dollar people don't like that meth head thing. You want to be my runner I'll give you a piece of the action. It's a commission thing, the more you move, the more you make. Now, before you decide; this is shit people go to jail for, this is shit people get fucking shot for. Do I have to tell you, don't cut the product, don't fuck with my money, and you sure as shit don't rat me out! You get new customers, be careful, I'll give you the name of a lawyer, but you fucking pay him and this is not a cheap ass jew! Now look, there is no fucking credit in this game, cash only! One of the reasons I need a guy is the last guy thought that he could give credit,"

I knew of the guy I was talking to by reputation and newspaper stories, he was a guy to be afraid of, but if there is one thing an 16 year old is sure of, its that it won't happen to him. So, of course I said yes.

After three weeks, I was learning the business, bought a second hand motor scooter, with a set of thermal side boxes and got a bunch of Chinese food cartons and brown paper bags. When I was making my route it was no biggie to microwave some frozen Chinese and but that on top of my merchandise.

The only thing scary was the twice a week meet to exchange money for new product. Some of the guys I met were definitely uncool. One of them tried to take the money without counting it. I told him give me back the money or count it in front of me. There followed a whole bunch of Fuck You's and Motherfuckers. But one thing I was sure of, I was more frightened of his boss than I was of him! I finally grabbed the money and was walking when all of a sudden we were friends. "Hey, just fucking with you, You OK, just had to know who you were, OK?"

It was after that, That I got an added job, "Here's a list, these three names that owe us. Just let them know that after you they get a taste of hell. I gave them to you because they's white cunt, They give you any shit, cut off a nipple, that don't work, theys at 64th and Cottage next week, we's take care of that!.'

When I go home and looked at the list, I almost shit, one of them was my girlfriend's mother, she "owed' $500. God knows what the original debt was but now she owed the number they said she owed. She was either going to pay or be a street corner whore.

I took Tammy out for coffee after class and tried to work a way towards her mom's finances. "Do you think we could go to Lauderdale for spring break?"

"I'd love to, but mom's having a hard time right now. I thought she got enough in the divorce but all she does is complain about no money"

"No promises, but maybe I can swing enough for the two of us for a long weekend, maybe, we'll see." I was nervous about approaching Tammy's mother; so far I had kept the drug business separate from my personal life. I had a high dollar clientele and it was deliver, money, and go. Both sides wanted no contact with each other. I thought I should practice on the other two on my list before I fuck up my personal life. A trip to the neighborhood hardware store and I was outfitted.

Short sleeved white shirt and tie, bicycle and helmet, I hope I looked like one of those evangelical kids. That way no one wanted to talk to me and I just sort of disappeared into the background. "Mrs Hanna?" looking at my clipboard, she said yes and I hit her with the edge of the clipboard. Didn't knock her out, a little stunned and a small cut, as she was stumbling back, I was on her and had her mouth duck taped and then her hands wrapped to her hips. Into a kitchen chair and taped to the chair. No more than two minutes, I was proud of myself. Quick run through of the apartment, we were alone. I started a pot of water to boil, and pulled some knives from a drawer.

Ms Hanna was going to have some sort of eye strain. Big, big eyes trying to watch my every move. Over to the stove, turn on another burner and balance a knife so it's blade would get hot. Back to the knife drawer and took a pair of scissors and cut her blouse and bra off one boob. According to my note Emily Hanna owed $1200 to my boss. I'd guess she was 35 to 40 years old, rent in this place had to be about a thousand, furniture looked expensive, her clothes looked good, which was a little more than I could say for her. Just sort of a mousey broad. A face and a body made for a small town library.

Emily was absolutely terrified. Rape would have been something she would have ... looked forward to, but this, knives, fire, boiling water, what was happening, worse even, what was going to happen? Her captor had been ignoring her. Her captor pulled out a garden clipper and a pair of vise grip pliers as he sat directly in front of her. "Listen, you owe $1200 to my boss. When I take this tape off, I do not want to hear anything except where is the money. I do not want to hear that you don't owe that much. I do not want to hear that you don't have the money. I do not want to hear that you don't know what to do. Now, before you answer me, let me give you a small sample of our collection process."

Emily started screaming into the tape as her assailant picked the red hot knife off the open flame. She came to with her face being slapped. "Relax cunt, nothing has happened ... yet." And with that, quicker than she could respond the tip of the hot knife blades just touched her skin below one eye, This time, she fainted and shit herself.

Terror shits apparently smell worse then regular ones, the room reeked! I went to the john in search of some sort of air freshener ... Emily came around while I was out of the room. When she came to, her first though was that she was sitting in a puddle of her own blood. Then as she calmed down a little she realized it was ... she had crapped her pants. Better? Worse? All terrible! As her tormentor entered the room, "Ready to talk, no screaming! My boss wants me to bring him one of your nipples or his money, what shall it be?" And the tape was half peeled off her chin.

"Money, I'll get the money!"

"When?"

"Tomorrow, I can borrow it. Honest I can!"

"Shit, nobody lends junkie's shit, sorry!" And he started to put the tape back on

"Wait, wait, medicine cabinet, jar of cold cream there's a tube, money..." As far as she got before she and the chair were dragged down the hall. He opened the tube buried in the cold cream. In front of her she watched as he counted out 21 one hundred dollar bills, he took 12 of them, looked at her, and took 2 more, on top of the remaining bills he put an 8 ball. Then he wiped his hands on her exposed tit and cut the tape holding her.

"You want to buy with cash, call this number, you know you don't want to fuck with me right? Just so you understand, I'm the fucking nice guy in this operation. If you didn't smell so fucking bad I was going to fuck you, listen, you call you owe me, you call, clean ass hole ready to fuck, or don't call at all."

Riding away I was excited, I couldn't belive myself, I had a hard on from scaring the shit out of a middle aged broad. Damn, I almost turned back but the memory of the shit smell stopped me.

Second collection was tougher, a couple mid 30's owed almost $3000. He was some sort of junior grade instructor or something, his wife was teaching part time and they were living in a place way too expensive for their incomes.

Two people, one a guy, this was getting to be hard work! My Mormon missionary getup got Deborah to open the door, a quick slash with the clipboard and she was stunned long enough for me to get her taped in place. Ankles to the front chair legs, hands behind the chair back, taped both together and to the chair. Now with her mouth taped shut I started to set the scene, I had about thirty minutes before teach came home.

Her eyes only got bigger as she realized she was bound and gagged. A quick rip and her blouse was mostly on the floor although some was still on her shoulders. I tried to rip her bra off but it must have been some sort of industrial model. Pulled my knife and snip, snip and snip, Tits were free in the breeze, a little small for my taste but I wasn't buying, she was going to have to sell. Right after I hit her I had slipped on one of those ski mask things, hot but effective. Now I reached down and unbuttoned her jeans, I got those pulled half way past her knees. Little Debbie was in full panic mode, all of her big city fears were coming true, raped in her own apartment! Rape and what else ... And that gave me an idea. Alright, Deb/Debbie? Look you and your husband owe my boss 3K he wants his money, you got any insurance on hubby? I kill him, will we get our money?"

It's really true, people's eyes do get big when they're shocked! Debbie was100% confused, tits out, tied up and a guy was talking about killing her husband for the insurance money. I doubted any college couple carried life insurance, my object was to motivate, they had to find the money, not me,, sure as hell wasn't here, not in this shitty little apartment. As I watched, Debbie pissed herself, well good, first step on the road to recovery was admitting the seriousness of the problem. I let her sit there in a puddle of her own piss. Now the tears were just running down her cheeks, I doubt Debbie even knew she was crying. When I heard the key in the lock I was along side the door as it opened. Mark's first sight when walking in was his tied up wife, he got as far as "What the..." and I had him down and out. Working fast I had a chair on the floor next to him, and him duct taped to the chair. Got the chair upright and his pant's cut open. I had brought along a couple of fishing line leaders, nylon, pre-tied and forty pound test. One loop around his balls and that tied tight to the lower rung on the chair, the other a double wrap around his dick and across to Debbie s neck. It was about then that Debs baby shit herself. Five more minutes and Mark started to come around. Seeing his wife two feet from him, he jerked, his dick and balls convinced him to sit still. Even better, Debbie couldn't move without trying to rip off her husband's dick. I gave them five minutes to evaluate their position.

"Let me explain your situation, I work for a man that you owe $3000.00 to, he wants his money and sent me to collect. Everybody take a deep breath here and decide how you are going to pay. Debbie here, maybe 10 12 weeks hooking, Mark, don't think you're going to make much as a hooker or an escort. What kind of car you got, any jewelry, any thing you can sell?" After a couple of minutes of them looking at each other and both crying. Why would a guy cry, I mean to owe a dope dealer money, you know you got to pay? "OK Deb, we'll start with you, I'll take the tape off you'll tell me where money is going to come from, you don't have any good ideas I beat on Marky here to stimulate your thinking."

I peeled the duct tape off Deb's mouth and the dumb cunt thought this was some sort of game. "You let us go at onc..." That's as far as she got when I backhanded her, her head went back Mark's dick got pulled real hard by that nylon leader, he screamed into his taped mouth and I slapped the tape on Debbie again.

"You stupid little cunt, did you think I was joking?" I walked over to Mark and punched him as hard as I could in the kidneys, He tried to scream again only this time he also pissed himself. "Mark, remember how your balls are tied up, try not to rip them off!" I punch into the solar plexus and two hard heavy open handed slaps one was a backhand of course. I guess Mark forgot about his nuts as he passed out, only now he was bleeding from the mouth and nose. He started to throw up and I didn't want him to drown in his own vomit, I ripped the duct tape off and he puked not only on himself but all over the floor. "Well Debbie, any ideas yet?"

In under an hour, I left with the title to their car, all the jewelry including wedding and engagement rings and a couple of what looked like expensive cameras, but not before I took pictures of both Debs and Marky with my dick at their mouths. That's the trouble with the drug business, you deal with junky shits and you start acting like them. But there I was again, another hard on with ... what the violence ... the power, whatever it was it was hot, I had come real close to shoving my dick down Little Debbie's throat, by that time, I knew I could do anything to her and she'd be happy I was going to let her live. Heady stuff!!

Me and my motor scooter were getting known, those delivery bags of Chinese got me past the toughest doormen. Of my customers, I had ran into a couple who wanted to fuck me for the dope, I only made that mistake once, soon she thought it was all free including special late night deliveries. My boss couldn't care how often I got laid or sucked off, His math was real simple; X ounces equals Y dollars and his math was always right! As it was, I now only accepted sex from those who wanted expedited service, the dope always got paid for.! Guess I started fucking backwards, I had a couple of customers that enjoyed doing a teenager, I had several that would gladly fuck for dope. I had quickly found that it was OK to give them a discount for sex, but if I gave the dope away they thought I was in love or something and then they'd try scamming me.

About three months ago my mom came home drunk from some office party and tried to hit on me. I was really shocked, she's attractive, but like I said, bitchy enough that who cares? By sophomore year it was as if we were room mates rather than family. We shared a house and meals but not our lives. A year ago I threw out two drunken guys and we had a big fight. At the time I told her that I didn't care who she fucked but don't bring them home. Well it went round and round, I had no right to talk to her that way ... After all she did for me, ... How she sacrificed ... and on and on, Ending with the final bit of feminine logic, don't forget I am your mother! That week I didn't give her any money. By Wednesday of the next week she had searched my room and she finally broke down and asked for the money.

"But mom,. I thought you were sacrificing so much for me?"

"Don't be smart, you know we need that money!"

"If we need the money I bring in then you have to admit that I have rights here, and one of those is no drunks overnight, no, no guys overnight!"

"Don't you tell me what to do!"

And on and on, finally I made her say it. "OK then, no drunks here, yes I need your income, you have rights here, I am sorry I yelled at you. Please can I have some money?"

That felt pretty good, I slowly started having her bring me the bills and I would dole out the money. I will admit I was getting off on playing master of the house. About the only meal we consistently had together was Sunday breakfast, one Sunday she started talking about buying a new car. I told her, you better sell some houses because you're not getting a car from me. That resulted in a bitchy mom for a couple of days until I blew up and told her to shape up or there would be no money for the rest of the month. I needed a vacation. It really pissed me off that mom never asked what I did or where the money came from. All she wanted from me was the bucks.

It was after that she tried to fuck me, believe me, it wasn't a seduction. "Honey, look now, you told me no guys at home, I've been good, but you know I get lonely." The next thing I know I'm in a bear hug. As I'm trying to push out, mom grabbed my hand and put it on her tit. Tits are sort of the holy grail of teen age boys. I really didn't think of it being my mother's tit I thought about it as TIT! Next thing I knew is mom was groping my dick. My dick has always been the key to my heart. Instant hard on! My mom kissed me! Her breath was so bad, I'm sure that she had just thrown up and hadn't brushed her teeth. It was so bad that it wilted a teen hard-on. I pushed her away.

"Wha, what, why..."

"you smell bad, that's it, no more from you! You want money from me, fucking shape up! Take a shower, brush your teeth."

She tried to grab me again, I was trying to push her away and she keep grabbing. I slapped her, my own mother, it wasn't planned, it was something automatic, triggered by her drunken pig act. It might have been some sort of reflexive action but, my response was shocking to me. Slapping my mother's face almost had me coming in my pants! "Listen you fucking slag, the next time you try that sex shit with me, make sure you're all cleaned up! Because next time you're going to be my cunt! From now on, you want more money you're going to work for it. Don't fucking come near me without a shower, and make sure your ass is clean because you come on to me again, I will fuck your ass!" As angry as I was, there still was a part of me that was witnessing what I was saying. I was angry, I was horny. I wanted to not so much fuck my mom as fucking ravage her. I scared myself and slammed the door as I hit my bedroom. Believe me, I came with barely six stroke of beating off! The next day I had a delivery to one of my fucktoid druggies.

"Wow baby, if you could fuck like that every day, I'd have a 200 pound monkey on my back. You know you could come by without the dope once in a while."

Even while doing her a second time, my mind was filled with thoughts of fucking my mother. The next two days I could still feel the heft of my mom's tit and the surge of lust I got when I slapped my mother. I tried to look at this from all sides, all the books say incest fucks up your head bigtime. I wanted to fuck my mom so bad, that was fucking up my head! No matter how I looked at it, I couldn't see a negative. I mean, I didn't want to marry her, I didn't want to knock her up. It wasn't like I was in love, I was hot to fuck my mother as a piece of ass, not as a mother! I'd want to fuck her if I just passed her on the street. The fact that she was my mom, who had spanked me, who had changed my diapers, the big thing was she was no longer in charge, that's what made it hot!

My mom had been taking my money and never asked were it came from, as far as I was concerned, that showed me where I stood in her love. Why shouldn't I fuck her? A bunch of other assholes were, why not me? She probably wants to fuck me to get more money, It'd be fun to fuck her and then fuck her around about the money! I made up my mind, she comes on again, not only will I fuck her, I will fuck with her! By the time I got home, I had another hardon, and I'd just got laid!

I guess it took a week or so for my mother to build up her courage. Ever since I had made up my mind to fuck her if she came on to me again, she had been soberer, not dry but not as drunk as before and was sort of on tiptoes around me. Maybe the slap had scared her as much as it turned me on. I was having almost daily beat off sessions featuring my mom getting her ass whipped and then fucked. One of the side effects of this was my girlfriend, who seemed at times to be a professional dedicated virgin, finally allowed me free access to her boobs.

Not for the last time was I shocked at how practical woman can be once they've made up their mind! It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about. "Come on, my mom's at some party, she won't be home till well past midnight. Three blocks later I was unlocking the door to our apartment. On the walk, I had caught Tammy checking my pants front, she'd look, stop a grin from getting any bigger, and tug me along.

Now here I was alone with my teenage sweetheart and I wasn't sure how to start. Tammy knew better, two kisses on One day as I was trying to cop a feel from the outside of her sweater she started that, "I'm not that kind of girl..." story and I blew up.

"Tammy, if you're not that kind of girl, I'm not your kind of guy." Soon we were in full yelling mode. I ended up saying that if I couldn't see and touch her tits I was done! And I was out the door. That was at 4 PM after school, by 8PM I got a phone call.

"I thought about what you said, you're right."

"I'm right about what?

"You know, about our necking."

"Are you saying I can see your breasts?"

Giggling, "Yes and you can touch them too!" We made a date for Saturday night. Tell me how fucked up teen lust is; I was fucking a couple of grown women who were dope customers, I was thinking about fucking my mother, and I was turned on by the concept of seeing my teenybopper girlfriends tits.

I knew that my mother had searched the house several times looking for money and I had gotten pretty good at hiding it. The best place was the Outsider Higher Education Fund. I had a CPA set up the fund so I could put money in it. As soon as there was enough I was away to college somewhere far from here. I would have to hide money in the house or at school until I could make a deposit. I once lost $500 when my mom changed the bag on the vacuum cleaner, she never cleaned, well his one time she did! So far the best place in my house was under her mattress! It was good for at least a couple of days after the sheets were changed.

It was of of those rare days when I didn't have any deliveries, I was walking Tammy home from school. There I was, occasionally fucking two grown up dopers and now I'm carrying my sweetie's books home from school! Boy, our dicks put us in weird positions. Suddenly she broke into tears. "What, what is it? What's going on?" My first thought was that I was about to be dumped! It was worse than that, Tammy's mother had been mugged and they were broke for two weeks until the next alimony check came. No, her mother hadn't called the police, no she wouldn't call her ex for an advance. I asked how I could help and I was in the local grocery store; milk, some frozen dinners, bread, salad makings, some lunch meat and $40.00 later Tammy was carrying her books while I carried the groceries. When we got to her house, one look told me Mrs Morrison hadn't been mugged, she had been beat up, I had to wonder, was Joey D sending me a message?

She started crying, "You wouldn't understand, I owe somebody money and they want it ... or else!"

Ahhhh I would understand, protection and collection went hand in hand with my distribution program. Before I could get anymore information, Tammy came back and rushed to comfort mommy's tears. I was thanked again and again for the groceries and I noticed no time was set for repayment.

The next time I was picking up my supplies I asked Joey D. if he knew anything about Mrs Morrison owing. He laughed, "She trying to buy dope from you? She owes Frankie a couple of k and says she can't pay. He had a couple of guys tune her up. He warned her, money or she'll be hooking."

I went home and mulled this over, a couple of grand, last I had heard was five hundred! Mrs Morrison had no idea what she was up against, the next time the collectors came she'd have the money or be working out of a crib out near the mills. I decided to buy her debt, if I could. Of course Frankie was a prick about the whole thing, wanted all his vig. I got him to cut the vig in half when I explained that Mrs M was the mother of my girlfriend and I wanted to fuck mommy. That he understood. So $2500 hundred and several high fives later I now owned Mrs M's debt, but Frankie absolutely refused to not sell to Mrs. M. "Fuck, she's a junkie, she gonna buy from somebody, I'll take her fucking money. For you though, no credit or pussy sales, cash only for that Irish junkie cunt." In our business that's a big favor!

I picked a day when I knew Tammy would be staying late at school for cheerleading. "Hi Mrs Morrison, can I come in?"

"Well, Tammy isn't home yet, I guess you can wait."

"Actually Mrs Morrison, I wanted to talk to you...

"I'll get the money for the groceries as soon..."

"No, it's not about that, I wanted to tell you that I bought your debt from Frankie and his boys." Well first there was complete denial, she had no idea of what I was talking about, and them she retreated to she might have bought a little taste or two, just to try, and then to I don't know what they told you but I never used..."

"Mrs Morrison, stop the bullshit, I know Joey D and I know Frankie his boss, Joey D might lie to me, but he sure wouldn't lie to his boss. You want me to tell you when you bought, how much you bought each time and what you're taking? I can do that. You've got a pretty serious coke habit. Let me make this very clear to you, the next time you buy any coke and it gets back to me, I will whip your ass right in front of your daughter, and I will whip it to it bleeds"

"How dare you talk to me like..." I slapped her, oh medium hard, not enough to bruise but a real attention getter, she turned and raised a hand to come at me. I kicked her in the shin. As she started to fall I grabbed her by the hair, and slapped her again. This time she sort of hung there afraid to move.

"Now listen, Maureen isn't it, listen Maur, you're a doper junkie and I don't give a fuck about you but I really like your daughter. Because I like your daughter I'm giving you a chance. Right now today, you're off the hook with your dealer. Understand this you were one fucking week away from being sent out to the streets to hook for your debts. These are not jokers I know they've got a house they stick people like you in, within two weeks you're a full time whore and junkie, then it's out on a street corner. Nobody beats these guys, nobody!

So you're cold turkey, no more nothing! I'm coming over Saturday for a date with Tammy, I'll try to find some pills to help you with the drying out. Remember, you owe me a lot of money, I like your daughter, don't think I won't rat you out to your ex husband, you'll lose custody and the alimony. I'd rather lose the money than see you fuck up your daughter's life. I left with a crying Mrs Morrison sitting at the table.

As I was riding the elevator down from their apartment I couldn't believe how hot I was. I loved telling an adult woman what to do, and as I thought about it, I was a little ashamed about how turned on I got from slapping her. Well if she fucks up with the dope she knows I'm going to whip her, fuck, she'd be asking for it. With the thought of my girlfriend's mother over my lap I went home and beat off. Wouldn't you know, the rest of the week, not a customer wanted to trade sex for dope!

When I went to pick up Tammy Saturday, one look told me that her mother was pretty sick. For all I know she hadn't changed clothes since I had warned her earlier. While waiting for whatever it is that woman do to make guys wait. I handed her mother 8 pills, "Take one a day of these, they should help with the cramps and the withdrawal." Maureen was swallowing one dry before I finished speaking "Don't forget what I told you, I will whip your ass, you touch any dope."

"Oh, I'll be goo..." she stopped as Tammy came into the room.

"What'll you be good at mom? Maybe you could take a shower and clean up, that'd be good." That got her a dirty look. I hustled Tammy out the door before the fight could escalate.

We were half way to the movies when Tammy asked, "You got someplace we could go?"

"Huh"

"You don't think you're getting to look at these in a movie, do you?" Now here I was alone with my teenage sweetheart and I wasn't sure how to start. Tammy knew better, two kisses on the couch and she pulled her sweater over her head, I wanted to rip her bra off! This was real beauty, as I was kissing her and fumbling with her bra hooks, she stopped me, "Whoa, we'll be all night at this rate", and elbows seemingly akimbo her bra was falling down her arms.