Forum: Story Discussion and Feedback

The thread about Tefler's Three Square Meals got me thinking. I've just finished the latest chapter and one of the things that really stood out to me was how the chapter jumps from one group to another rather than stick with the Protagonist.

In Lord of the Rings, you could spend a lot of chapters following one subgroup and then you'd jump to another subgroup so you could follow along with them for a few chapters. With Tefler's story, though, you often see chapters where you are jumping between two subgroups, but one's narrative is extremely limited - maybe just a few short paragraphs to remind everyone he's still there.

How do you decide which route you're going to take? I'm not saying one's better than the other, but it did cause me to wonder.

Personally, I like the LOTR style, but that only works when you have groups of characters doing something and can stick with them for several chapters. When you're dealing with a single chapter.... jumping back and forth like that is a little odd because you end up saying not much for the secondary scene.

Make sense?

I recall the Wheel of Time series started with the main characters all basically in a group together (or at least the protagonists rapidly becoming a single group) then eventually each going off in separate directions, which translated to roughly each major character getting a chapter and then jumping to another major character, etc.

I don't know that it was actual chapters, but it felt like roughly a chapter for each in rotation.

Yea, I remember that. WOT was this generation's LOTR, imo.

By the time the characters in WOT split up, you'd had plenty of time not only to see them develop, but also see how they related to each other. It was fun watching their individual adventures and they were sufficiently long enough that you started missing the other characters and wanted to get on to someone else.

Even though a lot of online stories are long enough, the fact that they're published one chapter at a time seems to cause the authors to try and fit in little tidbits here and there - leading to more of that disjointed narrative, as I call it.

The only time I remember it jumping from one character to another in the same chapter was when the two characters were working on something together - like being at either end of the same battlefield.

The author didn't jump to a different character in a completely different area dealing with a completely different task. At least, that's how I remember it. Been ages since I read any of those books.

A lot of the time I don't even notice it's happening if the secondary scene is given enough time/space to develop. It's only when that isn't done that I really catch on and start wondering what the point of that sidebar was.

when Banzai Ben switched to that style, his story ratings fell considerably.

Perhaps it varies by genre.

Or maybe people who like one style and not the other will give up on a story much quicker, and when a writer is inconsistent it will get 'punished' by readers upset they wasted their time on a story that suddenly became unappealing?

If the switch of focus is done right it melds in, if it's not done right it seems to be disjointed and jarring to the reader. How you do it and if it seems right varies with the point of view and the style of writing used.

This is the key to it all. The writer's ability. Jumping perspectives is tricky no matter what POV you do and no matter if it's limited or omniscient. It has to be done right. I've read several stories before where this is done and it's done very well. As has been said before in this thread, you have to make sure that the readers are interested in whatever new jaunt you are taking them on in your new section. Doesn't matter whether its done from chapter to chapter or even individual scenes within one chapter. It's all about readers interest.

This is definitely more of a personal thing, but I also know that I speak for a large majority of readers across any genre. Switching perspectives while writing in first person is not a good idea. I don't think I have ever read a story where that's done and it's done well. It's one thing to switch perspectives when the POV is third person because you are already viewing the story from overhead, but first person is completely different. I'm sure someone has written a story in first person that DOES switch perspectives like that (I can think of a few situations where a writer might be able to pull it off) but I haven't read them. And truthfully, I don't know that I'd want to read it.

Paige Hawthorne's 'The Second Sausalito' currently has a rating of 8.54, so some readers like disjointed narratives.

But when Banzai Ben switched to that style, his story ratings fell considerably.

Perhaps it varies by genre.

The ratings system in SOL has some flaws in them though so this isn't necessarily a marker of readers interest in a story or genre. Let's face it, we've all seen stories on here that have high ratings that really shouldn't and vice versa. Plus a few good trolls on a story can REALLY bring down a rating.

Switching perspectives while writing in first person is not a good idea. I don't think I have ever read a story where that's done and it's done well.

I'd put in a plug for Michael Loucks' 'A Well-Lived Life'. In Book 3 he begins writing first-person segments from the point-of-view of the main characters' children and it works well. Two reasons: they're well demarcated, and the kids have their own voices that read well.

If the author simply shifted perspectives without a clear change of narrator it'd be terrible, but with demarcation it's worked fine for me.

I've seen his work and keep saying I'm going to read it but I haven't yet.