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New Lazlo Zalezac story

Gauthier

who did read: http://storiesonline.net/s/11565/a-kind-and-his-queen ?
(testing link with no )

Lazeez Jiddan (Webmaster)

@Gauthier

the system doesn't try to parse URLs yet. I guess I need to detect incomplete tags and convert them to < a >

Gemini1766

@Gauthier

Thought the url was wrong, because the story is "A. King and his Queen". It is, however, correct.

Replies:   Soronel
Crumbly Writer

Gauthier, you can't just post the website address. Instead you've got to convert it to html, ie:
A King and his Queen (remove the "~" to make it work).

Crumbly Writer

Well, that's embarrassing. The system interpreted it as a command, even though it wasn't formatted completely, but it didn't format the one I wanted it to. I'll try reversing the angle brackets:

>a href = 'http://storiesonline.net/s/11565/a-king-and-his-queen'/a

Soronel

@Gemini1766

The story was originally posted with the incorrect title "A. Kind and His Queen". It was fixed within a couple hours of that initial post.

The correct title is indeed "A. King and His Queen"

Replies:   Gemini1766
Gemini1766

@Soronel

Yes, but the URL in the OP is correct for the story; that was not changed. I visited it before jumping in and saying the URL was wrong. Made me laugh.

prosaa

I thought it was a pretty interesting story, but I felt no connection to the main character which is something I need to have in order to really enjoy a story.

El_Sol

Is there a chapter missing?

From two to three is a disjointed jump for me, since part of the fun would be how that "let's make a porn reality TV show" would go.

Replies:   Rets Nimle
Rets Nimle

@El_Sol

I agree, it feels like there are a one or more chapters missing. Or at least a "several months later" header.

sejintenej

I have learned with Lazlo that I cannot judge a story in the first couple of chapters. I started this story simply because it is Lazlo but had initial difficultiues. The latest chapter (4) is starting to go somewhere.
No final decision yet but looks promising ......

pj
Updated:

I agree with the general thought of the thread. I didnt realize how much I missed reading LZ until I read this one.

I, personally, didnt have trouble bridging the gap. It seemed intuitive to me.

Only quibble I have with the story is with the title.. so pedestrian considering the storyline. But hey...

richardshagrin

I am a little slow. At least sometimes. Until the name was abbreviated LZ I didn't realize how close it is to our Management's name. He whose name I can not spell, but it begins with L and has Zs in it. La Zees? Would that be Le Zees in French with a masculine article?

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Septe

I love reading LZS stories. I've read Oscar Meyers three times and three times I was driven to tears. Very few authors have that effect with me.

Replies:   madnige  sejintenej
madnige

@Septe

driven to tears


It's quite short, but try 'First times' by BarBar
http://storiesonline.net/s/51743/first-times
Tears every time, even (as now) just thinking about it.

Crumbly Writer

@richardshagrin

He whose name I can not spell, but it begins with L and has Zs in it. La Zees?

Wasn't sure whether you were teasing or not, but the website owner's name is Lazeez. If you forget again, just think French for La Sleaze (no offense, Laz).

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin
Updated:

@Crumbly Writer

I will try hard to remember, but somehow "Management" seems easier to remember. Not that my name is all that easy, either of them. Either Barren of Ideas or Ric hard chagrin.

At least my first name contains all a man would want. To be rich and hard.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater

@richardshagrin

When i feel the need to check the spelling of his name I check it on the listing for his blog on the SOL Home Page, near the bottom left-hand column.

BlinkReader

Let's be honest - did you ever read any story from mr. Lazlo Zalezac that was not good?

So, please give him enough time to enough develop plot - and then we may speak about it.

Replies:   remarcsd
remarcsd

@BlinkReader

I agree but it is disappointing that this rich bloke with all these assistants is still wearing poorly fitting clothes.

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin

@remarcsd

It seems to me that the theme that they are shooting a porn film/series requires the "hero" be a nerd and dress the character. It might confuse the real Andrew (the name of the hero if I remember right) if he had to keep changing costume. Perhaps after the film(s) are over if there is story left and relationships continue, one of the female leads will take him in hand (metaphorically, not to give a hand job) and get him to buy real man clothing, or at least longer pants.

El_Sol

I am not rich but can definitely afford better clothes... still wear overly sized stuff though, even good quality stuff.

Just never think about it and I am comfortable in 'my' clothes.

sarcastic_cynic

Due to many of his stories being great reads, I thought I'd read this too.

I made it a very short way, then quit. Oh well. Can't all be good.

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin

@sarcastic_cynic

As the characters develop and the story gets going, I think it gets better. Perhaps if you wait until its done and someone reviews it in a way that gives data about why its good, you might want to try it again. Unless somebody beats me to it, I'll try to review it, once its done. Not to recapitulate the plot or give spoilers, but to incentivize readers to read it. Its an original plot and it has sex. That's a pretty good start.

I don't know where incentivize came from, and I typed it. Spellcheck likes it, which means its a word. I hope it means give an incentive.

Replies:   kimlsevier  Grant
kimlsevier

@richardshagrin

I agree. It has gotten better as the story has progressed. I like the balance of plot (which as noted is original, at least to me) and sex.

Grant

@richardshagrin

I don't know where incentivize came from,

Corporate speak.

BlinkReader

It's hard to like story with heavy message.
Story where somebody describes background and hardship of sex industry, thoughts of people who are participating there, and background of it all.

But in this story (now is 31 chapters long and there is more coming) brilliantly is shown to all of us what is hidden behind "glamour" of porn, and that behind all of this there is hope.

And with every word I managed to read, i liked this story more and more, so I recommend it again :)

PS:
And this reminds me on another brilliant story with similar background - "Daze in the Valley" from Jay Cantrell (http://storiesonline.net/s/65463/daze-in-the-valley).
Anybody who still did not read it - should do it.

Replies:   richardshagrin  DerAndy
richardshagrin

@BlinkReader

Its well worth re-reading, too. The r in Cantrell is silent, it should be pronounced Can tell (a good story).

DerAndy

@BlinkReader

background and hardship of sex industry


I like the story, but I don't think it really shows much about the real sex industry. Daze in the Valley (and yes, it is a great story) feels more like the "real" sex industry, even though I don't have a clue how it compares to real life.

sejintenej

@Septe

I love reading LZS stories. I've read Oscar Meyers three times and three times I was driven to tears.

I must have read the entire series that many times and I will be going back; I spot something new each time. I recommend

Jim S

What I've found interesting in this story is that (so far) there is no major character if the criterion is character development. It seems to me that the minor characters are the ones getting fully developed while Andrew, the supposedly main character, seems to be a minor actor.

I will also add that, even though I'm a huge fan of Lazlo, I'm having a little bit of rough sledding with this one.

Replies:   sejintenej  DerAndy
sejintenej

@Jim S

I will also add that, even though I'm a huge fan of Lazlo, I'm having a little bit of rough sledding with this one.

Whilst normally I like LZ I am having the same problem. Why? - I can't put a finger on it

Replies:   Jim S
Jim S

@sejintenej

I'm not sure what it is exactly but I have a clue. I keep waiting for that moment where the story just grabs ahold of me. In just about every one of his stories, there comes a time where I'm emotionally invested in how the character or story turns out. It happened early in Hunter. It took a few chapters in Service Society.

This one seems, I don't know, so objective. Almost like someone giving a speech in front of a large audience. Kind of detached. That is so unlike LZ.

Replies:   BlinkReader
BlinkReader

@Jim S

Maybe it's because you americans in your minds have adopted to totally open porn scene in USA, and porn seems normal to you.
But believe me - it's not normal.

In lot of states it's still something hidden behind seven veils and stays private. We read this story differently than you, and I see author as very attached.

And something else - in his every story you can not say it's end till he wrote "The end"

Replies:   Jim S
Jim S
Updated:

@BlinkReader


And something else - in his every story you can not say it's end till he wrote "The end"


So true. Thats why I'm holding off on a potential review. Note that I've already reviewed a few of his stories.

DerAndy

@Jim S

It seems to me that the minor characters are the ones getting fully developed while Andrew, the supposedly main character, seems to be a minor actor.


I don't feel this way. I just think character development for Andrew is slower, but that's okay because he is with the story the whole way. The minor characters that get developed faster are the ones that leave the project along the way.

I feel that especially in the latest chapters Andrew seems to learn a lot about partnership.

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