Home « Forum « Story Discussion and Feedback

Forum: Story Discussion and Feedback

Best Lines in an SOL story

richardshagrin

I can't remember all the great ones I read here, but I was re-reading Colt 45's "Shasta Tale" and the last chapter has:

"So be it," Dent said standing up. "So long as any man who wishes to do so remembers these ladies are under my protection and I am not known for my humor when it comes to women's honor."

"I didn't know you were known for your humor about anything," Sosho said taking one of his arms.

"He has a wonderful sense of humor," Clarise chided as she took his other arm. "He should anyway; it's just never been used."

I know there are other really good ones here. Why not document them for others to enjoy.

Replies:   just-this-guy
AmigaClone

One that I like is in "Anita's Rescue" by EzzyB in chapter 18. The paragraph where Jim and Carol Smith get temporary custody of the recently orphaned Anita ends with the phrase.

Sometimes justice is.

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer

@AmigaClone

Sometimes justice is.

And sometimes humor ain't! 'D

Vlad_Inhaler

Some of the best lines I can think of are in Chapter 1 of this unfinished story: http://storiesonline.net/s/48749:47552/laramie-chapter-1
The rest of the story was good - until the author wrote himself into a corner - but the first chapter was a thing of beauty.

red61544

In the latest chapter of Bec4, the patient (Bec) starts asking the psychiatrist questions about his sanity. It
reminds me of something out of Heller's "Catch 22". It's doubletalk at its best.

just-this-guy

@richardshagrin

Good thing: A girl's hands touching my dick.

Good thing: FOUR girls' hands touching my dick.

Bad thing: I couldn't think of anything. I didn't try that hard.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son

@just-this-guy

Bad thing: I couldn't think of anything. I didn't try that hard.


Bad thing:Four large men named; Guido, Mac "The Knife", Scar and Thud touching my dick.

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer

@Dominions Son

Bad thing:Four large men named; Guido, Mac "The Knife", Scar and Thud touching my dick.

Or, a chick nicknamed 'biter' or 4 girls with braces.

You don't always need a sociopath to have an 'unhappy' ending (says the author who's king of 'unhappy endings'/tragic endings). 'D

sunkuwan

had to really laugh at this exchange in the grim reaper Chapter 1:

Mom was laughing at Dad as we took stuff off the table. In the kitchen Jack lowered his voice and asked, "Was Dad talking about Mom? Was she a girl?"

"No way. Mom's a mom, and she's old, too."

Crumbly Writer

From the feedback so far, SOL isn't like most traditionally published authors, who agonize for weeks or months over opening lines of stories to sell books on bookstore shelves.

Instead, we only have the occasionally humorous moments.

I find the same thing whenever I'm asked to do a reading. Since I don't write to create one-liners, I always have a difficult time selecting reading passages, often reading multiple paragraphs (8 or 9) instead of only one or two in order to establish context.

daygecko

Bec3: "... and don't give me any of that plastic duck shit"

Replies:   Ernest Bywater  Grant
Ernest Bywater

@daygecko

Bec3: "... and don't give me any of that plastic duck shit"


so they want real duck shit - kinky. I wonder what do they do with that shit?

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer

@Ernest Bywater

so they want real duck shit - kinky. I wonder what do they do with that shit?

Plastic duck shit ain't any cheaper than the real thing, and the smell is just as toxic and not as good for the plants.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater

@Crumbly Writer

Plastic duck shit ain't any cheaper than the real thing, and the smell is just as toxic and not as good for the plants.


It must be something the plastic ducks eat to make it stink so bad. I didn't think plastic ducks ate much, but it seems I was wrong.

madnige
Updated:

Al Steiner, Doing it all Over, Ch.2:

I'm what's known as a classic underachiever. That means I have above average intelligence and good reasoning ability but I am bored to death by high school because the curriculum is so scaled-down that the work is not challenging to me. This sets up a vicious cycle in which I stop listening and doing the work and therefore get far behind and fail many classes.

limab

Jay Cantrell's Daze in the Valley

Although it's true that Adam and Mary sometimes share manners – because both of them use them so rarely it was silly to waste two sets – she is an extremely sweet woman

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer

@limab

Although it's true that Adam and Mary sometimes share manners – because both of them use them so rarely it was silly to waste two sets – she is an extremely sweet woman

That's a decent line, and would actually make a worthwhile opening line for a novel, as it immediately captures the personality of the characters.

Replies:   limab
limab

@Crumbly Writer

Jay has some nice to excellent lines but they tend to be longer:

"Brock has a great sense of humor but it's too subtle for Twitter," Randi contradicted. "He's also pretty private. I mean, he's given me a lot of great advice that I've passed along. I hope you don't mind, Brock."

"Are we talking royalties?" he asked.

Randi shook her head.

"Potential civil liability?" he tried.

Randi smiled but shook her head again.

"Then why would I care," he continued.


this one is decent but it loses flavor out of the story so do most of his others

StarFleet Carl

I'm really going to have to finish the fantasy story that this line comes from.

"You are a boil on the ass of humanity." Since I wasn't human, I took that as a compliment.

Grant

@daygecko

Bec3: "... and don't give me any of that plastic duck shit"

Also from Bec3 "That boob fairy better find me soon or I'm going to hunt her down and pin her to the wall with her own magic wand."

richardshagrin

This is from Renpet"s frequently asked questions, and isn't actually from a story on SOL. But I thought it was worth repeating.

"The choice of Queen's English or American English is a deliberate one. I received my education in both English and American schools. Thus, for stories set in America, I use American English. For stories set in Europe, Africa, or British Colonies, protectorates, or territories, I use the Queen's English. Occasionally I mess up and use both inadvertently. It happens. When I do, I pretend I'm Canadian!"

karactr

ElSol's Zombies, Werewolves, Vampires, and Other Improbable Things, Ch. 9

"Welcome to the Zombie-Apocalypse," Bianca said with a smile. "Where we do more in one day than pretty much anyone did before the world turned to shit."

richardshagrin

"Gotta question for you, Morgan," he said. "Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which built up some mighty impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate like a bird, which made him somewhat delicate, and with his weird diet, he suffered from bad breath. What do these physical and character traits make him?"

I grinned. "Don't know, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

"A super-callused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

From Chapter nine of Protect and Serve by Paul Phenomenon. It is a Premier Membership only story, but shows on the top 100 by author list.

LonelyDad

I am currently rereading 'A Fresh Start' by rlfj. There really isn't anything that one can cut out to show it, but he has lots of little one-liners and jabs scattered all over. One that comes to mind was when he was talking about his son Charlie, who is 'nine going on ninety, but the odds of his making it to ten were decreasing rapidly'. Just a good story all the way around.

Gigdom

Stonefingers by Tony Stevens

"And you didn't tell them I was a bartender in a titty bar and that I danced nude on weekends?"

"No -- I didn't mention your titties or anyone else's, but I will tell them when we're all together, with drinks, after Tad's gone to bed."

"Break it too them gently, huh?"

"I just want to see my dad's face."

"He's gonna be shocked?"

"You kidding? ... He's gonna be so proud!"

Back to Top