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Arlene and Jeff by RoustWriter

Redmond25

Can someone post a list with Jeff's wifes/mates up to the current chapter?
Thanks.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Redmond25

Perhaps you could ask RoustWriter for a full cast list. I've been trying to remember the name of one of the other Alphas because it's pertinent to the human lie-detector topic. And I'm not willing to go back and re-read the story to find it.

AJ

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID
Updated:

@awnlee jawking


Perhaps you could ask RoustWriter for a full cast list. I've been trying to remember the name of one of the other Alphas because it's pertinent to the human lie-detector topic. And I'm not willing to go back and re-read the story to find it.


The former detective/Government spook who is working the (first) cattle farm/ranch thingy, or the County Sheriff? All of the Alpha Males can do it, just some of them discovered the ability sooner than others, the LEO types being in the sooner category. (Which brings in the two FBI guys as well)

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Not_a_ID

The former detective/Government spook who is working the (first) cattle farm/ranch thingy


Yes, that's the one that sprung into my mind.

AJ

Replies:   REP
REP

@awnlee jawking

that's the one


I think you are referring to Fred

mclark413

Was a great story...if I voted on it today though it would get a lower score than my original vote.

It has gotten to be so repetitive that I feel like I could have skipped the last 30 or more chapters and not really have missed anything except for Morales' progress on the prison planet. In fact his sub-plot is the only thing I find interesting anymore, because of that fact. That being said, I feel like his story should be separated and published as a sequel.

Honestly, if he introduces one more person and takes the next 10 chapters having the current cast explain to them every thing that is going on, I think I'll just give up. The story could be edited to remove at least 15 characters and not lose any significant part of the plot.

Just my $.02 worth of course.

Replies:   DerAndy  sejintenej
DerAndy

@mclark413

It has gotten to be so repetitive that I feel like I could have skipped the last 30 or more chapters and not really have missed anything except for Morales' progress on the prison planet. In fact his sub-plot is the only thing I find interesting anymore, because of that fact. That being said, I feel like his story should be separated and published as a sequel.


Looks to me like he plans to bring Morales back. Honestly I just don't care about him at all, so I always skip the sections he's in. The story should have ended way back, in my opinion, but I somehow still read the new chapters.

graybyrd

@DerAndy

If they bring Morales back, it's only because they want that telepathic butt-ugly wolf. My interest now rests with the alien ship lurking at the edge of the asteroid belt, and when will the First Officer burn a hole through that sociopath Captain.

Other than that ... ? Burned out 157 chapters ago.

awnlee jawking
Updated:

@DerAndy

The great length devoted to sub-plots like Morales mean the overall story arc has become obscure. Jeff is having the shelter built inside the mountain because he had an inkling of things to come. The ship in the asteroid belt doesn't seem to be a significant threat, so where is the danger going to come from?

AJ

Replies:   Ernest Bywater  graybyrd
Ernest Bywater

@awnlee jawking

so where is the danger going to come from?


probably the same place the story appears to be going.

I've had a couple of people say I should read this story, but, thanks to the comments on here, I don't thinks it's one I could read if it wanders as much as it appears to wander.

graybyrd
Updated:

@awnlee jawking


so where is the danger going to come from?


The danger of infection caused by chafing and soft-tissue rash when a blizzard interrupts the timely delivery of a pallet-load of KY lubricant to the resort. Two-thirds of the story is repetitive sex with an exponentially-expanding cast of characters, far too many to remember without a cast list.

Skip the bedroom romps, and the story is down to about 30-odd chapters. The concept of an "alpha" character walking into a room, thus causing the panties of every female there to moisten and fall to their ankles is a tiresome device. The author of "Wolves & Dragons of the Blood" devotes the entirety of his five books to the same concept, except he tosses in biting and neck-sucking for variation. That, and repeating "to the least, to say the least, in the least," etc. in every other paragraph.

sejintenej

@mclark413

..... and not really have missed anything except for Morales' progress on the prison planet. In fact his sub-plot is the only thing I find interesting anymore, because of that fact. That being said, I feel like his story should be separated and published as a sequel.

Agreed BUT Morales is being spoon-fed with equipment, technical knowledge etc. and all the food plants have already been planted for him.
That said he is at least having to work to survive even if he does have a lot of 'luck'. (That is the type of story I appreciate).
Yes, make it a parallel story - a spin off opposite to some of the Florida Friends stories.

As for the alien ship this week's chapter has thrown a new element into the fray and seems to make an invasion of terra less likely - but let's wait and see next year (or will it be next decade?)

Not_a_ID
Updated:

A&J is probably the poster child for serials that perhaps should have waited to be written in full before being released. If for no reason than to allow an editor to excise a lot of content and/or shift it into a parallel novel.

The cast is huge, too many of the women are basically placeholders/ero-candy. As long as you keep track of the men, and the women that get a lot of "special attention" by Roust, its manageable.

I'm pretty sure that just about everything he's included so far, aside from much of the sexy content, is relevant to where the story is going.

The problem is the scale and scope of what is being written and built. As I think he's still in the "building phase" is such that instead of reading about a boulder rolling down a mountainside. We're reading about encroachment of a glacier, at a speed not much unlike one.

There is plenty of movement to be had across the length, breadth, and height of the thing. But if all you look at is where a particular point on the Glacier was __ months ago in relation to where it is now, not much has happened. Certainly one case where "telling" is preferable to showing.

richardshagrin

I have recently recommended to several writers who tend to post 250k plus stories maybe once a year or maybe once every two years that Lazlo Zalzac sometimes uses a series of related stories, either the same character or similar situations with each story at a manageable length and gives his fans more stories to read, more often. When a chapter cliffhanger gets posted, consider ending the story there, as book one, or whatever number would be appropriate, and start book two (or whatever number plus one) at that point. Sometimes a story improves with a point of view shift, and at least we get more stories per year with that approach.

I doubt I will live long enough to read A&J once it is finished, if it ever is. I am 71 and my dad lived to be 86.

Replies:   Not_a_ID  REP
Not_a_ID

@richardshagrin

I doubt I will live long enough to read A&J once it is finished, if it ever is. I am 71 and my dad lived to be 86.


At the rate Roust is going, I sometimes wonder if he will live long enough to finish it, and for all I know, he could be in his 30's, but I suspect it's much older than that.

red61544

I enjoy stories that follow a definite outline that takes them from point A to B to C to D to End. If the author feels a need to wander off a different direction other than the one that leads him to "End", he should write a separate story.

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID
Updated:

@red61544

In this case he isn't "wandering off the plot" as it were. The story is progressing, albeit gradually, but he has so many pieces and parts in the mix that it can almost be compared to being a Rube-Goldberg machine.

Just give me my toast already.

Replies:   REP
REP

@richardshagrin


I doubt I will live long enough to read A&J once it is finished


If I recall Parts 1 and 2 of the story finished over a year ago. You could look at them and be ready for Part 3 when it does end.

REP
Updated:

@Not_a_ID


In this case he isn't "wandering off the plot" as it were.


I agree.

RoustWriter's plot seems to be about the Alpha Male with Jeff being the Alpha of a group of Alpha Males. He created this plot via a series of subplots. In some chapters he would switch between subplots and in others he would stay with a single subplot. All of the subplots that I can recall focused on Jeff building a pack of Alpha Males who could help him with his various tasks.

Replies:   sejintenej
Not_a_ID

Well, except for the exiled Moralez and the acquisition of more women for the Alphas. If not another Alpha or two along the way. The aliens in the oort cloud are another.

Except he needs the Alphas and the wives to crew the ship. The Aliens are a focus for them to start gearing things up faster than would have otherwise happened. The Moralez story arc is clearly linked to the telepathic beast/pet thing which probably has a special role to play, particularly once it encounters either an Alpha or Prime(Jeff) and gets subjected to Ship.

Most everything else ties back to the Aphas and the opportunities those side projects have created for finding more Alphas, more women, and more money. While he keeps going on about more money not being relevant, we're not sure about what he's going to need for a "proper" crew on ship. Sure, it can run itself, but that's been pointed out as sub-optimal for a number of reasons particularly in combat.

Even the various bad guys work out in the same cycle. More alphas, and more women so they can have more crew. So yeah, it's to the point where it would be kind of nice to skip the detailed introduction to new group members where he keeps rehashing the same things over and over.

It also would be nice to see things stabilize long enough for the group comfort level to settle a little more so the "guests" dress code would start to relax some more. For a large group of supposedly really smart women pursuing advanced educations in numerous fields, that none of them have looked at history, or in particular the history of fashion (and "the arts") and started raising awkward questions or points is also kind of funny. Although I guess that's something for Selena or the other two ("newly arrived") teens to potentially play with, if ever due to other issues that presents.

sejintenej

@REP

He created this plot via a series of subplots.

I don't rate the vast majority as 'sub-plots' - they are far too short. The exceptions might be the original introduction (development and sale of the invention). the alien craft, Morales, perhaps the helicopter accident, the building of the shelter and the thing where the local sheriff got introduced.

Replies:   REP
Not_a_ID

Well "Little One" and "The Ship" have been (hidden) elements from the start, as that's what kicked off much of the (sexual aspect for the) story from the onset. Even if their first appearance "on stage" didn't come until much later.

REP

@sejintenej

I don't rate the vast majority as 'sub-plots' - they are far too short


Sub-plot, scenes, scenarios, or some other term use whatever you are comfortable with. My point was he has a plot and that is how he builds and reinforces it.

BlinkReader

All of you are forgetting something invented in "good ole USA" - damned "soap operas".

RoustWriter is just one of many writers of such idiotic time wasting universes - stories that newer said anything but last for decades, and keep your housewives content while spending lot of their time for nothing.

He is writing this now for more than 10 years, spend more than 400 chapters to wrote what is happening to some people for less or around than 6 months of their literal lives, and every now he adds something that in some very distant future may have some connection to main story .

Sorry, but when I see soap opera i start to see red, and my mouth get filled with lot of (soap) foam ...

Replies:   HSWilkinson  REP
awnlee jawking

@DerAndy

Looks to me like he plans to bring Morales back.


When the psychic chicken starts lactating, we'll know Morales is an alpha.

AJ

HSWilkinson

@BlinkReader

Yeup, it's definitely a soap opera and a fairly well written one at that.

BlinkReader

@HSWilkinson

Isn't it some kind of a oxymoron?
(Well written + soap opera)

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin

@BlinkReader

Well written

Maybe the author was sitting by or on a well (the well wall) so that the writing included the benefit of still waters or the author was well lubricated. As opposed to written while the author was listening to an opera and holding a bar of soap.

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID

@richardshagrin

Or he plots out his story while singing opera and bathing in a well.

REP

@BlinkReader

I agree with you about soap operas, but at least the acting is better than 'Reality TV'.

RoustWriter enjoys writing his story and generating what he believes is a good story, and that is what matters to most of us authors.

You obviously equate his story with a soap opera, and don't like it. Your obvious solution is to not read it, and not worry about those of us who find some degree of pleasure in his story.

Replies:   BlinkReader
imsly1

I happen to enjoy most of the story.. if only he'd post twice a week🍻

awnlee jawking

@HSWilkinson

It would appear that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. If the story of Morales since being banished to the prison planet had been hived off as a separate book, I wonder just how many people would bother to read it.

AJ

Replies:   sejintenej
sejintenej

@awnlee jawking

It would appear that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. If the story of Morales since being banished to the prison planet had been hived off as a separate book, I wonder just how many people would bother to read it.


Agreed; it would need a précis of the violent background, the trial and the actions by the General and Jeff to help him. Otherwise the story would be incomprehensible. Context is everything

BlinkReader

@REP

Reality TV ? ? ?

Do you really must swear here?
This is one of worst I've ever heard and believe me i have heard them enough ...

****************************************************

Vhat to say other than:
Viva la "Big brother" or (i belive it's called "Kardashians" in old US od A)
- and other, reality TV most perverted shits (shows)

Replies:   REP  Ernest Bywater
REP

@BlinkReader

Do you really must swear here?


You have my most sincere apology for use of profanity in the forum. :)

Replies:   BlinkReader
BlinkReader

@REP

:D

Ernest Bywater
Updated:

@BlinkReader


Reality TV ? ? ?


the only real reality TV is when they show the test pattern!

Replies:   Capt Zapp
Capt Zapp

@Ernest Bywater

the only real reality TV is when they show the test pattern!


I can't remember the last time I saw a real test pattern on my TV. Maybe early 70's?

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater

@Capt Zapp

I can't remember the last time I saw a real test pattern on my TV.


Some of the small independent rural stations still close for part of the night, and run a test pattern, bu they're getting rarer by the day, due to being bought out by the networks.

Replies:   Capt Zapp
Capt Zapp

@Ernest Bywater

...and run a test pattern...


I would rather see a test pattern than those infomercials.

Ernest Bywater

@Capt Zapp

I would rather see a test pattern than those infomercials.


affirmative.

REP

@Capt Zapp


I would rather see a test pattern than those infomercials.


Probably more informative also.

docholladay

@Capt Zapp

I would rather see a test pattern than those infomercials.


Trouble is that test pattern doesn't make them any money. Those darn infomercials are paid for by the advertiser supposedly.

awnlee jawking

Am I psychic or have I actually seen today's 'new' instalment of Arlene and Jeff before?

Chapter 432 claims to have been uploaded on 21st April but I was familiar with everything that happened, including wolf no 2.

Any explanations?

AJ

Lazeez Jiddan (Webmaster)

@awnlee jawking

Am I psychic or have I actually seen today's 'new' instalment of Arlene and Jeff before?


The chapter was uploaded by mistake on Monday or Tuesday and before the author realized his mistake and took it down, about 2500 people had read it.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Lazeez Jiddan (Webmaster)

Damn. I was hoping for reason for optimism when choosing my lottery numbers :)

AJ

Replies:   REP
REP

@awnlee jawking

choosing my lottery numbers :)


After an hour of going over my cost to complete for the task elements I was responsible for, my boss told me as I was leaving his office that he only wanted 6 good numbers from me. After 4-5 seconds of trying to determine what numbers he need for my financials, it clicked and I told him if I had 6 good numbers, I would use them myself.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@REP

Note that he didn't specify no bad numbers. So just recite the numbers from one to forty nine (or however many there are in your lottery of interest) and let him sort out the good ones. Task completed successfully!

AJ

TheRandomLibrarian

God I wish the chapters were like 50% longer... I feel like I'm starting to lose track of the myriad of characters and plot lines. I've been reading fantasy and science fiction so I'm no stranger to following a series for years or even a decade or longer... Also, I wonder if Morales is a prime or something. There is some interesting stuff going on there. Would love to see an entirely separate branch off for his story.

Replies:   graybyrd  Not_a_ID
graybyrd
Updated:

@TheRandomLibrarian

I honestly believe that Lobo would have to chew his way up that stiff-necked General's ass and emerge from his neckhole, before Morales would get any reconsideration. Even then, it's doubtful. They'd have to round up another two dozen fawning women for Morales, and that would bring the current cast close to five hundred... and that's a bit much, even for a SciFi sex-romp fantasy.

Replies:   REP
REP

@graybyrd

before Morales would get any reconsideration


I find the interplay between the General and Jeff interesting. The General respects, admires, and protects the Colonel. The Colonel complies with the General's orders and directions. However, they are both on the same page, so Jeff gets to do almost anything he wants and the General supports him.

Morales is also an interesting character. An apparently unethical person who is coheresed into performing illegal acts out of fear for his own well-being. He obviously committed acts that placed him in a position where he could be forced to comply with the directions of his boss, but once sent to the prison planet, he displays a very ethical foundation. I suppose you could say there is good and bad in all of us.

Replies:   Not_a_ID
sejintenej

I get the feeling that Jeff would like Morales brought back. That said what would they do with him. Next, we have seen na'er sight nor sound of the other surviving prisoners; isn't it about time one them turned up?

As someone wrote, The Prison Planet is worthy of a separate story.

Replies:   graybyrd
graybyrd

@sejintenej

Next, we have seen na'er sight nor sound of the other surviving prisoners; isn't it about time one them turned up?


I'm not so sure; it would be like "Lord of the Flies" meets "Debbie Does Dallas" if he follows the formula.

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID

@TheRandomLibrarian

Also, I wonder if Morales is a prime or something. There is some interesting stuff going on there. Would love to see an entirely separate branch off for his story.


I'm under the impression the primes, or more specifically THE Prime is able to sense an Alpha to some extent. So at the time Morales was banished, he wasn't one. He might be one now, or he might not.

I'm more inclined to suspect he probably isn't one, but that said. There is "something" about that planet specified which the General's people missed in their survey. Probably due to not having lived off the land while there, which Morales is having to do for obvious reasons.

Morales isn't demonstrating particularly unique traits in comparison to the alphas/their wives. But it is interesting to note that even without Little One around to enhance or "awaken" abilities for him, he also seems to be expressing comparable traits.

As well as the animals themselves, in particular the chickens seeming to mirror some of what the cats and dogs are doing. Of course, Morales hasn't encountered any teleporting animals, yet.

Not_a_ID

@REP

Morales is also an interesting character. An apparently unethical person who is coheresed into performing illegal acts out of fear for his own well-being. He obviously committed acts that placed him in a position where he could be forced to comply with the directions of his boss, but once sent to the prison planet, he displays a very ethical foundation. I suppose you could say there is good and bad in all of us.


I wouldn't exactly call him unethical given his background. He has a "code" it just doesn't conform to what most people would consider to be particularly moral.

He just happens to be a product of his environment and not particularly inclined to run against the flow. Instead choosing the path of least resistance, which landed him in a bad crowd. He was doing less than good things, typically to less than good people(IIRC, he was basically an enforcer/foot soldier who spent most of his time going after other criminals who stepped "out of line"), until he ran afoul of Jeff.

Keep in mind, he thought the place he was torching was owned by some kind of criminal organization/operation. Obviously he learned differently, and it probably wasn't the first time he was pointed at a (mostly) "innocent" but it is what it is.

Replies:   graybyrd
Not_a_ID

@graybyrd

I'm not so sure; it would be like "Lord of the Flies" meets "Debbie Does Dallas" if he follows the formula.


He's made it quite clear that the prisoners are (almost) exclusively male, so not much to get excited about there. IIRC, it's also noted that they're dropped "dozens of miles" away from the next nearest prisoner. A prisoner who is very likely to already be dead at that, as their life expectancy is rather low.

There might be another campsite setup by another prisoner within several days travel of him, but probably only if you already knew where it was. So the odds of stumbling upon it are pretty low in the first place, and lower still for the occupant to still be alive.

Now if they do end up banishing a woman, or group of women at some point...

Replies:   BlinkReader  graybyrd
BlinkReader

@Not_a_ID

When soap operas first invaded my country (in the 80's) there were newspapers (and not only newspapers!) who have made living on writing about them - who is going to do what, when is something going to happen, what they were wearing when they were doing that,...
At the end - they were just selling fog to all willing to pay for this crap.

And you dear participants in this topic here, are sounding just like these newspapers from past :(

Not_a_ID

@BlinkReader

When soap operas first invaded my country (in the 80's) there were newspapers (and not only newspapers!) who have made living on writing about them - who is going to do what, when is something going to happen, what they were wearing when they were doing that,...
At the end - they were just selling fog to all willing to pay for this crap.


I think those rags still exist, not that there are many soap operas left at this point. "Reality TV" programming has replaced much of it, of course, I think many of those publications adjusted accordingly. Not that I pay much attention to the tabloid rack on the rare occasion I visit a store that has a rack of them in my path while waiting to checkout, pay my bill and leave.

If I spot that rack, I'm trying to find the one with the alien love child headline. :)

Replies:   awnlee jawking
TheRandomLibrarian

@BlinkReader

LOL

How did you get all the way here and then reach the point where you are ending posts with sad emoji?

Replies:   BlinkReader
graybyrd

@Not_a_ID

He just happens to be a product of his environment and not particularly inclined to run against the flow. Instead choosing the path of least resistance, which landed him in a bad crowd. He was doing less than good things, typically to less than good people


Do you realize how accurately you just described our political system and the U.S. Congress?

Replies:   Not_a_ID
graybyrd

@Not_a_ID

Now if they do end up banishing a woman, or group of women at some point...


Ahhh ... but there's the rub. If Morales is recognized as an Alpha, the harem MUST soon follow. Whether t'is there, or returned to Earth, is the question.

Replies:   sejintenej
Not_a_ID

@graybyrd

Do you realize how accurately you just described our political system and the U.S. Congress?


Congress has no excuse. They had a life prior to becoming congressional critters.... Well, most of them did, as there are more than a few Nth Generation Congress Critters roaming about over there. Those should probably be stomped on, frequently. (Note: I didn't say stomped out)

Replies:   graybyrd
graybyrd
Updated:

@Not_a_ID


there are more than a few Nth Generation Congress Critters


Yup. How many brag on themselves about a 'long and honorable career of public service' ... first, it was never intended as a 'career,' and, secondly, how does one call 'public service' that leaves most of them multi-millionaires on a public salary 'honorable?'

Morales was a clueless sap. He should have entered politics for a truly rewarding life of crime.

awnlee jawking

@Not_a_ID

not that there are many soap operas left at this point. "Reality TV" programming has replaced much of it


What's the difference between a soap opera and a scripted 'reality TV' show?

AJ

Replies:   Oyster
Oyster

@awnlee jawking

The "acting" is worse in scripted reality.

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID

@Oyster

The "acting" is worse in scripted reality.


In the case of "reality" programming, it is a safer bet to say that they don't even bother to call it acting. They're only called actors because they only barely met the technical requirements for joining the SAG.

sejintenej
Updated:

@graybyrd

Alpha, the harem MUST soon follow

The first of the bitches has just arrived

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID

@sejintenej

Alpha, the harem MUST soon follow

The first of the bitches has just arrived


Unless the only Alpha in that cave is Lobo. In which case the Harem has just started.

BlinkReader

@TheRandomLibrarian

How did you get all the way here and then reach the point where you are ending posts with sad emoji?


Because, tragedy is part of life too :D

medic975

Man,
I really tried to get into A & J but it just feels like a story that's constantly on the cusp of something great. The cast is too big and there's like 200 chapters of weddings. I made it all the way to where Angel and Fred get going but just knew there was going to be yet another wedding. Wanted to finish up to current especially due to its rating but that was it for me.

Replies:   BlinkReader
BlinkReader

@medic975

...its rating...


If I'm correct most good ratings for this story have been given much, much earlier.
Couple of years ago it has rating in range 9.3x, now it's little lower - 9.13 if I'm correct.

If you are not happy with this story - go to last chapter and give it lower rating. If enough of you do this and ratings fell enough - maybe author is going to notice this and (finally) do something...

Replies:   paliden  REP
medic975

I did. Gave it a pretty good which I think translates to a 6. I'm still impressed with the size of it.

paliden

@BlinkReader

give it lower rating. If enough of you do this and ratings fell enough


This is the kind of bullshit that brought about the scores being adjusted a while back.

One could reasonably draw the conclusion that you are advocating a bunch of readers getting together and score a story low enough that the writer would say fuck it, pull his story and then quit SOL.

I think that is just one step removed from organizing a "hate email" mass mailing and we have had enough of that.

And no, I am not an author.

If I were the webmaster your ass would be banned.

Replies:   REP  BlinkReader
REP

@BlinkReader

He RoustWriter already announced his intent to end the story this year.

It is in very poor taste to tell readers to go give a story a lower rating than they already gave the Author. If they wish to change their rating that is their decision to make.

REP

@paliden

You don't have to be an Author to recognize when someone is out to stir up trouble. At least that is what it looks like in this and an earlier thread.

Ernest Bywater

Considering the number of people who've said the story has fallen off in quality from how it started, it would seem to make a good case for not scoring a story until it's finished.

Replies:   REP
REP

@Ernest Bywater

until it's finished.


Yes, that is one way to do it. As previously discussed the alternative is to rate it and adjust the rating as the story unfolds.

Both are good ways to do it. I personally like to rate it on first impression and adjust the rating if my opinion changes.

If I initially find the content is not what I expected, I typically exit the story without rating it or giving any feedback. If the content is what I expected but very poorly done by the Author, I will rate it and may provide feedback if I think it might be helpful.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater

@REP

Yes, that is one way to do it. As previously discussed the alternative is to rate it and adjust the rating as the story unfolds.

Both are good ways to do it. I personally like to rate it on first impression and adjust the rating if my opinion changes.

If I initially find the content is not what I expected, I typically exit the story without rating it or giving any feedback. If the content is what I expected but very poorly done by the Author, I will rate it and may provide feedback if I think it might be helpful.


That's the best way, but it requires you to remember to change the score, which few readers will do after they give a score. Also, all the very old scores are from the time before you could amend a score, the time when a score was permanent once given. Those scores can't be changed, although the same reader could now give it another score which may be different and it will be adjusted that way, just a lot slower.

BlinkReader

@paliden

One could reasonably draw the conclusion that you are advocating a bunch of readers getting together and score a story low enough that the writer would say fuck it, pull his story and then quit SOL.

I think that is just one step removed from organizing a "hate email" mass mailing and we have had enough of that.


Sorry to see you think so.
I just made point to user who is not satisfied with story that he can change score he earlier gave to this story.

Point word here is "can", not "must".

I used this on couple of stories I read chapter by chapter as were published, and when finished I read them again and in most cases gave them higher score...

Replies:   REP
REP
Updated:

@BlinkReader


I just made point to user who is not satisfied with story that he can change score he earlier gave to this story


No that is not true. What you posted was:

If you are not happy with this story - go to last chapter and give it lower rating. If enough of you do this and ratings fell enough - maybe author is going to notice this and (finally) do something...


That is you telling us to go reduce the rating we feel is appropriate for the story.

graybyrd

Seems that some folks here are forgetting that all is voluntary: the posting, the reading, the scoring.

We're blessed on our 'rock' here in Peter Puget's Puddle to have a unique combination of water and location that fosters world-class mussels for the upscale restaurant trade. Spouse recoils at the very thought of anyone eating them; I drench them in spicy sauce and slurp them from the half-shell, drooling and grinning at her.

If you can't enjoy it, don't do it. That applies to soft-bodied sea creatures and endless, pointless stories alike. Don't sit around pissing and moaning about it.

Replies:   BlinkReader
BlinkReader
Updated:

@graybyrd

Wonderful said :)

And thank you for reminding us of this :)

Ferrum1

I don't see the problem with rating as the chapters are put out. After all, isn't that the point of the way the system is set up - so the author can get feedback on what he submitted?

Overall, I think the story is well-done from a technical writing standpoint, but horribly done from a story standpoint. Someone pointed out that it's like a soap opera where something happens every episode, but the overarching storyline isn't going to necessarily be a cohesive tale.

For my tastes, I think it's a pretty lousy read because there's simply a ton of fluff that is actually damaging to the story. That's where the author goes wrong, and serves as a lesson to other authors.

A hundred characters in the cast might sound fun and seem necessary, but then you end up with very shallow characters that the reader can't relate to. Or you get dozens of chapters to flesh out the characters and end up sacrificing the tempo of the overall story.

Either way, it degrades the experience substantially.

If it's true that Roust plans on ending the story this year.... I'm at a lost to imagine how he could pull that off. He'd have to abandon his current style of narrative.

Replies:   sunkuwan  REP
sunkuwan

@Ferrum1

Yeah.....

In addition, it all happens in a too narrow timeline.
What is the point of the Town project and the Mountain Bunker if the family is going into a Space Adventure.
And he wants to quit when they go explore the Universe, THAT would be a spark the story needs... and it ends.

Replies:   Ferrum1  REP
Ferrum1

@sunkuwan

Any spark would be a good thing right about now.

Instead, he seems content to jump around, flapping and kicking up dirt like the proverbial headless chicken. The result is that nothing is really accomplished.

And just when you think the story is going to start taking off, he throws up another chapter that stalls things. Did we really need a girlfriend for the wolf on the prison planet? Is the story served well by opening that new arc? Will that character play a pivotal role in some upcoming conflict?

Overall, I think Roust did the writing world a great favor by so ably demonstrating how you fail as a writer. Great technical ability, but that's about it.

Replies:   REP  sejintenej
REP

@Ferrum1

I'm at a lost to imagine how he could pull that off. He'd have to abandon his current style of narrative.


He defined his ending as Jeff and company boarding Ship and leaving to find Ship's creators.

Yeah, it is a lot like a soap opera which is typically the writers' idea of a condensed view of everyday life focused on the interesting parts of our day-to-day existence. I've chatted with Roust over the past few years about his story and one of mine and commented on certain items that you may be defining as fluff.

REP

@sunkuwan

What is the point of the Town project and the Mountain Bunker if the family is going into a Space Adventure.


From what point of view?

From RoustWriter's view as the Author none; unless of course he wants to take a break and come back to it in a year or so. One chapter a week for 10 years is a major effort, so it is understandable if he want to take a break.

From the characters point of view, they are living their lives. They are going to go look for Ship's creators, but they plan to return. When they return, they may want to use that bunker and Town Project.

As an Author, you don't change your characters decisions and behavior just because you know the story will end in the next few chapters.

REP

@Ferrum1

Did we really need a girlfriend for the wolf on the prison planet?


Since you have no idea of why the Author added that element, your comment is just blowing hot air. RoustWriter felt that it added something to the story for whatever reason, so he added it. As the Author and the person in control of his story that is his right. If you as a reader don't like it, you don't have to continue reading it.

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1

@REP

You seem to be Roust's spokesman, so tell us exactly what it added. What did it add that all those other characters and such didn't add?

As for your 'hot air' comment, you couldn't be more wrong. As an author, it's easy to get lost in the story that's in your mind, and lost track of how things impact the story. To say that Roust achieved something great because he's been doing a chapter a week for 10 years is to ignore the quality and celebrate the quantity.

Putting chapters up on an open forum means you must, to some degree, want feedback from the readers. Otherwise there's no reason to post the story publicly at all.

Is Roust interested in thoughtful critique from his audience, or simply empty accolades?

The overarching storyline has been so filled with empty characters and empty scenes that the majority of readers can't remember one character from the next. Fourteen wives was a lot, but filling the story with 14 chapters that describe in detail the exact same wedding scene...... was a silly notion because it doesn't add anything to the story. It doesn't make the characters more approachable or understandable, and it doesn't advance the overarching story.

Instead, it was just fluff put in there so Roust could make his chapter-per-week quota.

You're right that I don't know his motivation for adding the wolf's girlfriend. I also don't know his motivation for adding the entire prison-world scenario. Why devote so much time to what's happening there? Why was it deemed so important to the overarching storyline?

By including it, Roust seems to be saying that it's important and will play a pivotal role in future chapters...... but he absolutely never gets there.

Instead, he devolves to his standard practice of introducing a new element to make thing "exciting", and then starts to ignore elements that were previously introduced and developed. Instead of leading somewhere, he gets bogged down and then switches to something entirely new.

Even if we accept that there's a sub-plot happening on the prison world, he's doing a lousy job of getting there. All we've seen is the daily goings-on of a prisoner they've fallen in love with. All of the chapters devoted to him have led to nothing of note, just him learning to fend for himself and meeting some animals that seem to be telepathic in some way. So what. Page after page, chapter after chapter, and nothing seems to happen.

Maybe that's fine for you and you enjoy the soap-opera style of story. But it's equally valid that other readers would have issues with it, or questions about it.

It's kind of funny that you'd say, "If you as a reader don't like it, you don't have to continue reading it." when you did exactly that with the comments here. You piped in to offer your critique even though none of the authors of the comments asked for them, after all. You could have just moved on to another thread. But you couldn't help yourself. ;)

Replies:   REP
REP

@Ferrum1

You piped in to offer your critique even though none of the authors of the comments asked for them, after all. You could have just moved on to another thread. But you couldn't help yourself. ;)


Poor little boy got his feathers ruffled. It certainly sounds like you think you can control who has the right to post to this thread. You posted something I disagreed with and I replied. Part of your reply was to represent me as entering into a private conversation. It is a public conversation.

Your position of me just joining this thread and piping in with my comments is untenable. Start at the OP and you will find it was posted on 8/8/16 by Redmond25. Then scroll down to the posts made on 8/16/16 (i.e. 8 days later) and you will find my original post to this thread. Your first post was made almost 10 months later. Continue scrolling down and read my subsequent posts and you will find that I could rightful consider your post as a challenge to my prior positions. All I did in my response to your post was to repeat the position I have taken over the past 10 months.

A few facts for you Ferrum1:

1. This is a Public forum and we all have a right to post our opinions.

2. You are not the moderator of this Forum, so it is inappropriate of you to pass judgment on who can and can't post to this or any other thread.

3. In this Forum, we try to respect each other. We respect the right of our fellow Forum participants to state their opinions even though we do not agree with those opinion and will post an opposing opinion.

So, get off your high horse and defend your opinion instead of trying to shutdown those who disagree with you.

You can grouse about Roust and his story all you want, but your opinion is just one of many, and I am not the only poster who disagrees with your opinion. My position remains what is was, namely Roust is the Author and he has the right to take the story's plotline in any direction that he desires. He can add side plots to his story if he wishes to do so, even if they don't add much to the plot.

Replies:   Ferrum1
sejintenej
Updated:

@Ferrum1


. Did we really need a girlfriend for the wolf on the prison planet? Is the story served well by opening that new arc? Will that character play a pivotal role in some upcoming conflict?


Your third sentence is the pivotal clue. One of the arts of storytelling is to create questions - WHY was this done? who is that person? etc. It is intended to make the reader continue and you, who appear to massively dislike this story, have been caught in the spider's (OK Roustwriter's) web. It MIGHT be pivotal, it might even be a red (or even canine) herring. Indeed the whole Prison Planet might be a red herring.

As for the future? we COULD have the alien ship destroy earth, we could have Jeff board and take the alien ship, we could have the alien ship be surrendered to Jeff, we could have earth attacked but Jeff's fortress saving them, we could have the whole complex going into space and colonising a new planet, we could have the captain of the alien ship dumped on the prison planet (with infinite sub plots there)

If you don't like it just get Roustwriter's permission to write something better yourself.

Replies:   Ferrum1
dontworry234

Why does Morales have to come back to Earth?

I think that the others may end up visiting the Prison Plant as part of their space travels (not sent there :-)) or the plant mite even be the original home world of Ship, who knows.

I only wish it was broken into smaller parts so I don't need to d/l 400 + chapters to my kindle every week just for one new one.

Replies:   sejintenej
sejintenej

@dontworry234

Why does Morales have to come back to Earth?

I think that the others may end up visiting the Prison Plant as part of their space travels (not sent there :-)) or the plant mite even be the original home world of Ship, who knows.


In answer to the first line, he doesn't.
Jeff and his specialist soldiers are experts at invading / controlling other planets but do not have the skills to survive and live there without backup from earth. Morales has proven that he has the determination and the skills to survive so he could be a useful member of Jeff's team when they search for ship's home planet.

We know that other prisoners were sent to the Prison Planet and can assume that, if they survived, they are being monitored in the same way. There is no obvious reason for Jeff to visit the planet save to repatriate Morales or one of the others

As for the Prison Planet being the origin of the ship - perhaps but evidently it's makers have disappeared (elsewhere there was a suggestion that perhaps* they were wiped out).

* Roust being clever?

Ferrum1

@REP

It's funny that you accuse me of doing exactly what you did in your earlier response.

1: Exactly. I posted my opinion. It is a reasoned opinion and I asked questions that I hoped might lead me to changing that opinion or better understanding the motivations of the author. You don't like it, don't read it. You're under no compulsion to respond to it.

2: When did I claim I was a moderator? You're the one that "passed judgement" on my comments, declaring them invalid as so much "hot air" and inviting me to stop reading the story.

3: We try to respect each other in this forum? Is that what you were doing when you said, "Poor little boy got his feathers ruffled" That's respectful? Or maybe you were being respectful when you said, "get off your high horse..."

You then claim that I claimed or hinted that you'd entered in a private conversation? That doesn't make any sense at all since nowhere did I say anything of the sort. You came to the defense of Roust, addressing posts from several other people, myself included, and nowhere did anyone chastise you for doing so or hint that you weren't welcome to do it.

You didn't agree with what we wrote, so you offered your take on the situation..... which is exactly what we were doing in the first place.

Let's take a closer look at your one post:

Did we really need a girlfriend for the wolf on the prison planet?

Since you have no idea of why the Author added that element, your comment is just blowing hot air. RoustWriter felt that it added something to the story for whatever reason, so he added it. As the Author and the person in control of his story that is his right. If you as a reader don't like it, you don't have to continue reading it.

Firstly, I didn't make a comment, I asked a question. And in the context of my post, it was certainly a valid question.

You're right that I have "no idea of why the Author added that element..." but you fail to acknowledge that Roust hasn't explained it and as such I could have no idea of the reasoning. It's the fault of the author for failing to illustrate his point in a concise manner.

As for saying it's "just blowing hot air" is neither accurate nor respectful, something you claim to hold in high regard. It's a question that points to a larger problem in the story, as stated by several readers. Namely, that there is so much going on that nothing ever seems to get resolved and only more stuff is added.

As the author, Roust can write whatever he wants. As readers, we're free to critique that writing however we want. You seem perfectly fine with critiquing the readers here on this thread, so you why do you find it so problematic that folks would want to critique Roust? Again, you're doing exactly what we're doing.

What you haven't done, however, is provide a counter to anything I've said. Your argument, shallow as it is, is that Roust can write whatever he wants. Nobody ever challenged that or suggested that he stop writing. The only thing people have said is that the quality of his writing is lacking.

While he's technically proficient, his storytelling ability could be better. With the tale so filled with fluff, nothing ever gets resolved and new elements are added to the detriment of the story overall. As a reader, I'm more than qualified to make that statement because it's my opinion and based on years of reading countless stories from a wide variety of authors.

If you'd like to see a good example of a long story, I suggest Three Square Meals as an example of how you can develop characters and the story without getting lost in a million little side arcs that have seemingly no connections.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Ferrum1

@sejintenej

I'm always amazed how folks react to my comments. I'll agree that I dislike the story, but not that I "massively dislike" it.

Technically, the story is solid. Where I see Roust dropping the ball is in never actually answering those questions you bring up.

For example, the side-story of Morales on the prison planet is good in that it gives the reader some insight into the character, showing him to be an alright fellow in some sense, and that there's more to him than just being a simple gun-for-hire.

You can easily see a dozen different ways he could become a pivotal character in some future action, and building that character a bit makes sense if that's the author's intent.

However, where it fails is in taking away from the other characters and the other half-dozen story arcs that have already been introduced: the compound's AI, Selena's raising, aliens, pilot training, bunker building or the terrestrial threat from Morales' former boss.....

That's seven distinct storylines inside the main story, and none of them ever get resolved. Instead, Roust introduces another wolf and dedicates a lot of time on the new character. Hardly surprising that someone might question what the heck is going on. It's also not surprising that Roust would do it since that seems to be his modus operandi.

And that's why I say the story is lacking overall. It's one thing to get the reader's asking why, but it's also the author's responsibility to actually answer those questions. To date, we've got a ton going on and no cohesive over-arching plan.

In sum, it's a question of quantity over quality. Is the plan to simply get a new chapter out ever week, or to write an epic that's interesting, engaging and leaves the reader happy for the experience?

I thought the first book was very good and it's what got me hooked. Now, however, it's very easy to breeze through the newest installment and not feel like you missed anything.

Replies:   REP
Dominions Son

@Ferrum1

Did we really need a girlfriend for the wolf on the prison planet?


Why shouldn't he have a girlfriend?
Why does there have to be a need for it?

Roust hasn't explained it and as such I could have no idea of the reasoning.


You aren't owed an explanation. Do you really expect every tiny bit of background detail in a story to be fully explained?

Are you going to question why a mailbox is on the corner rather than in front of the barbershop next?

Replies:   Ferrum1
REP

@Ferrum1

Let me respond to a few of your points this way Ferrum.

1: Exactly. I posted my opinion. It is a reasoned opinion and I asked questions that I hoped might lead me to changing that opinion or better understanding the motivations of the author. You don't like it, don't read it. You're under no compulsion to respond to it.

FYI – I contacted Roust yesterday and based on the situation he felt it appropriate to share several of the feedback messages you sent him.

SOL Authors have held a number of discussions regarding the negative feedback readers like you send them. Your comments to Roust were highly negative and continued on a long-term basis, and you REALLY should NOT have threatened Roust in the fashion you did. Once I finish posting this reply, I will be forwarding the feedback messages I received from Roust to Lazeez for his consideration and action.

Your post is not a reasoned opinion – based on your feedback messages, you are a reader who is complaining about the Author refusing to comply with the demands that a reader provided via feedback. Since you couldn't compel Roust to do what you wanted him to do – it appears like your posts are your means of taking REVENGE on Roust.

2: When did I claim I was a moderator? You're the one that "passed judgement" on my comments, declaring them invalid as so much "hot air" and inviting me to stop reading the story.


You never made that claim. You just assumed the role of a Moderator and told me my post was inappropriate because I failed to obtain permission from other posters to join the conversation.

3: We try to respect each other in this forum? Is that what you were doing when you said, "Poor little boy got his feathers ruffled" That's respectful? Or maybe you were being respectful when you said, "get off your high horse..."

You are right that is not respectful. Your post inferred I had to ask permission of the other posters to join the thread in a Public Forum. By making that statement to me, you were highly disrespectful of my rights to post a comment. Respect is a two-way street. If you don't extend it, don't expect to receive it.

You then claim that I claimed or hinted that you'd entered in a private conversation? That doesn't make any sense at all since nowhere did I say anything of the sort. You came to the defense of Roust, addressing posts from several other people, myself included, and nowhere did anyone chastise you for doing so or hint that you weren't welcome to do it.

When you say someone needs permission to join a Public Discussion, you are inferring the discussion is private.

----------------

The rest of your post is not worthy of a detailed response, but I will give a general response. Readers have the right to ask the types of questions you posted and they have the right to discuss those questions. They do not have the right to demean the Author and they do not have the right to demand the Author provide them with answers that they can accept.

You SIR crossed a line that you should not have crossed. It was permissible for you to have discussed your questions in this Forum, but YOU went beyond a simple discussion. You chose to publically demean Roust in this Forum for:

1. Roust exercising his right as the Author to tell his story in the manner he wishes.

2. Roust adding subplots and failing to provide you with an explanation of why those subplots were added.

3. Your unfounded assumptions as to why Roust chose to write and post his story and YOUR assumptions of his opinions in regard to the feedback he gets from his readers.

4. And other minor points.

Yesterday Roust shared a question with me that he asked about you Ferrum – Since this man dislikes my story so much, why does he continue to read it?

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1

@Dominions Son

I think you're missing the point.

Your mailbox analogy is wrong because the author doesn't simply mention something and move on. It's not just a "tiny bit of background detail."

If an author, any author, spends thousands of words describing something, and goes regularly back to detail that something even further, you'd be right to question why this something is so important to the tale.

"You aren't owed an explanation" --- actually, yes we the readers are owed an explanation. That's the whole point behind storytelling. You raise a question, then you answer it. And it's getting to that answer, that conclusion, that makes the story.

We're not talking about a "tiny bit of background detail". We're talking about pieces of the story that have had thousands of words dedicated to them, to the detriment of other characters or events in the tale. So who wouldn't ask, what's this about? Where's this leading? Why is this important to the overall story?

If they're inconsequential "mailboxes", just tiny bits of "background detail", why is so much time dedicated to them? That's what I'm asking and I find it rather odd that so many people seem to have a problem with me daring to ask questions.

The author published his work on a public forum, but how dare anyone question anything in that story! Really? This whole forum is about questioning things, yet somehow this one thing is sacrosanct?

Replies:   Dominions Son
Ferrum1

@REP

You are so far out of bounds that I hardly know where to start.

To suggest that I've threatened anyone is simply unconscionable.

You addressed my post, I didn't seek you out. I then responded to your post, in context, and never once "assumed" the mantle of moderator or hinted that you couldn't or shouldn't post on this thread. I simply pointed out that you were guilty of critiquing what people wrote.... which is exactly what those people were doing and you found issue with. Are you suggesting that that isn't true? We can all read it right there in black and white.

"You never made that claim. You just assumed the role of a Moderator and told me my post was inappropriate because I failed to obtain permission from other posters to join the conversation." Exactly, I never made that claim. And I need said your post was inappropriate or that you needed permission for anything. As such, your point is entirely invalid, untrue, defamatory and uninformed. Nowhere in any of my posts have I stated anything of the sort -- and it's all right there for anyone to read.

As for suggesting that I'm demeaning Roust in this forum, that's simply laughable. An honest critique is just that.... and the price anyone pays when they post something on the internet.

richardshagrin

This forum topic seems to have evolved into an againstum.

Replies:   REP  Dindu Nuffin
REP
Updated:

@richardshagrin


This forum topic seems to have evolved into an againstum.


I know. This guy is so into J&A that he has lost all perception of rationality; it is just a story. That is why I defined the situation in an email to Lazeez and provided the emails which contained the threat made against Roust to Lazeez. The matter is in Lazeez's hands now.

Dindu Nuffin

@richardshagrin

I'm glad someone said it.

Dominions Son

@Ferrum1

That's the whole point behind storytelling. You raise a question, then you answer it. And it's getting to that answer, that conclusion, that makes the story.


You have a very narrow view of story telling. There are thousands of dead tree published novels that don't fit that mold.

f they're inconsequential "mailboxes", just tiny bits of "background detail", why is so much time dedicated to them?


There are plenty of stories out there, even dead tree books that spend thousands of words describing the scenery.

If you don't like those kinds of stories, don't read them.

sunkuwan

The question is: Are all of those story lines getting resolved in less than 30 chapters? (if he is concluding the story this year)

Or is the family just getting into the ship with all of the other stuff left hanging?

It would be okay if there is a book after this, but it doesn't look like it.
if those side stories aren't getting resolved, it doesn't matter when the family is getting into the ship. It is just a point where the author says "OK, thats it, this is the ending." And that could have been 100 or 200 chapters ago.

I was going into the story with big expectations. But the main storypoints were dragged over dozens of chapter. The first major disappointment was when the situation with the father and son was getting into the climax.... and we spent several chapters with Fred. At that point I skimmed the Fred chapters at first, only reading the first words of every paragraph. The longer it lasted the more I got agitated with those chapters while I wanted to know what happened with the main storyline. It was the worst point in time to introduce a Fred roadtrip. After that I wasn't emotionally involved with the Fred family and just skipped everything with them.
I set the story on hold after chapter 374, I dont know if I will read the rest later.

Replies:   REP
REP

@sunkuwan

I dont know if I will read the rest later


Now that is a good choice when you become disenchanted with a story, any story.

Replies:   sunkuwan
sunkuwan

@REP

Oh, I am not shy to drop a story even if i had invested many hours into it.
The question is, if I should score the story. On the one hand the ending is paramount. On the other hand, if people who didn't finish a story, don't score it, it would lead to a scoring that is heavily skewed to the people who finished it.

You see this on many multi book stories, the later books are mostly scored better because the people who liked the first book, read the next.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater  REP  Not_a_ID
Ernest Bywater

@sunkuwan

if people who didn't finish a story, don't score it, it would lead to a scoring that is heavily skewed to the people who finished it.


which is part of the issue with the scoring of many stories - people find it unappealing partway through and drop it without scoring, thus the great majority of scores are only from people who like the story. Kind of like the choir doing the preaching.

REP

@sunkuwan

The question is, if I should score the story.


That is a judgment call on your part.

My approach is to rate the first chapter I read at or a little lower than I feel it deserves; I usually rate it as GOOD but have given higher and lower initial ratings. As I read subsequent chapters, I revise my rating up or down as appropriate. If I decide to not complete the story, I decide if my rating should be adjusted based on why I decided to bail on the story.

Replies:   Not_a_ID
Not_a_ID

@sunkuwan

You see this on many multi book stories, the later books are mostly scored better because the people who liked the first book, read the next.


The other side of that is that the author's skill tends to improve the more they write. Which can result in improved scores, at least so long as their muse doesn't abandon them.

Not_a_ID

@REP

My approach is to rate the first chapter I read at or a little lower than I feel it deserves; I usually rate it as GOOD but have given higher and lower initial ratings.


When I bother to vote, I'm harsher. My default is "Average"(7) and moves from there. Of course, I inconsistently vote(and usually only if certain things feature that I like), and won't tend to bother to score most stories.

Story feedback w/out a vote has happened a few times even, come to think of it.

Replies:   REP
REP

@Not_a_ID

My default is "Average"(7) and moves from there


That is the way I do it. If you check, there is no rating titled Average - A rating of 7 it titled Good.

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