Home « Forum « Story Discussion and Feedback

Forum: Story Discussion and Feedback

New Cantrell

KimLittle

Fuck. Even more procrastination material!

I'm not even gonna look until I get the next chapter of my current story up.

jr88
Updated:

It seems pretty good already. I'm interested to see how much the characters from A Flawed Diamond come into the story, as the end of Chapter 4 teases Randi Raver, who according to the epilogue to A Flawed Diamond would still be living with Brock and Meredith. He hasn't had much crossover in his stories before, so I'm curious as to what will happen.

Replies:   whatsizname
richardshagrin

Its one of those 140 plus chapter jobs. The first posting was 135kb. I am going to wait until its over and consider it a Christmas Present to be unwrapped and read once its all there. I wish I had strength of character to handle all the serials on SOL on that basis. Thank God Banadin has stopped posting on Fridays, early. I don't want to get up that early to get the next fix. And now Thinking Horndog is posting again. I may never get to read all the Clitoride finalists, never mind the winners. Is there going to be a new thread to discuss them?

whatsizname

@jr88

A Flawed Diamond referenced some of the characters from Daze in the Valley. I would not be surprised to see more of them (albeit briefly) as the story continues.

Replies:   jr88
jr88

@whatsizname

A Flawed Diamond did reference characters from Daze in the Valley, but they were only in the story for two or three chapters. The end of Chapter 4 implied that Randi may play a larger role in this story.

Replies:   sunseeker  whatsizname
sunseeker
Updated:

@jr88

Randi herself probably not much though her company Rave Music I could see being a bigger part in the story.

I'm liking what I've read so far :)

whatsizname

@jr88

A lot depends on how the story is written. If it were written from Liz's standpoint, I would agree with you. However, the POV character in this story is Travis, who probably will not have a lot of direct contact with Randi (more likely contact with a new character, someone who does marketing for RaveLand Studios).

Earl

I can actually see Travis spending time with Brock Miller talking baseball and discussing women.

Anomandaris

I'm rapidly thinking that this might be Jay's best story yet. With a potential former SEAL, Cynthia Lu coming into play, Randi Raver... I'm super hyped to see where he takes this. So much potential. So many possible twists and turns coming our way. I just wish the chapters were a bit longer.

blacksash

I wonder how much is intentional, but it looks like a non authorized Taylor Swift's biography. Many clues, first one the name Liz associates with Taylor almost naturally. Then there is the whole country singer turned pop star angle. I'm not enough a celebrity fan to know about her lifestyle, drug abuse and sex partners and all. I won't be surprised if a so called rap singer pops up with some hate speech sometime in the story.

Replies:   Wheezer
Wheezer

@blacksash

I wonder how much is intentional, but it looks like a non authorized Taylor Swift's biography.

I'm sure there's some heavy influence. I've picked up on several parallels and similarities. ;)

PeckingChicken
Updated:

With the first act in the books, I'm pretty happy with the direction this story is going in and how Jay is choosing to tell it. I've noticed that he has a tendency every second or third story to have a soapbox character that stops the narrative to pontificate on one subject or another. WHen this trait pops up I usually start skimming as the subject usually seems at odds with what we know about the character.

I'm very happy to see this story being told through actual action and with characters that are so far well thought out and act reasonably (well, reasonably for their characters). About the only thing that doesn't ring true is the way the music business operates. IT seems like an anecdotal mish mash of 70's pop A&R and 90's Florida boy band management... but that conceit is integral to the story and dovetails with characters from previous stories that have been mentioned.

zekesboy

Cantrell tells a really good story, but you have to be a hearty soul to hang in there for the duration -- this one looks as if it might last longer than I will, as I'm not as young as I once was.

My only complaint is that Travis' character is a little but too quick to get nasty with people he doesn't like. That early tiff at the office in his original job seemed childish to me, and then I didn't think he gave the female security officer much of a chance. I think she was supposed to be a highly objectionable character, but he started fighting with her without too much ceremony. A little more patience and adult behavior would better match Travis' otherwise attractive personality.

All that said, I'm certainly going to keep reading.

Replies:   Agent4351
Agent4351

@zekesboy

A Cantrell story always has instances where normal people go from zero to pissed off stupid crazy in about 2 seconds. I wouldn't call it a fault of his writing style, but it's definitely a thing. When it happens, I usually just roll my eyes and keep going cause otherwise his writing is fantastic.

Replies:   Grant
Grant

@Agent4351

I wouldn't call it a fault of his writing style, but it's definitely a thing.

Yep, definite character quirk.

miksmit

He's definitely not the first to use the angry man in some of his stories. However, I challenge anyone to name another author who does it better.

Back to Top