Only the feelings of the victim matters, not the actual facts.
You are wrong. Racism is about the Racist's acts and actions, not the emotions of the Racist's victims.
You're both right. And it doesn't only extend to racism. It extends to things like stalking as well. The way things are defined currently, or otherwise applied in practice by various groups and activists. You can have someone be a "victim of stalking" without actually having a stalker.
Likewise, many activists make it possible for someone to become "a victim of racism" without their encountering a racist, although that example is a lot more rare. Because DS is correct, many of the activists don't care about the facts, their interest is in the emotion, and the headlines that emotion can present. So if they can find a person who feels that they are a victim of a certain thing, then they must be a victim of that thing.
I don't think those activists comprise a majority of people who engage in those activities, but they certainly are the most visible, as they're usually the first one to show up, and they're usually the loudest, which means they tend to draw the attention of the press. They also tend to be the agitators that make protests turn ugly.
(For other fun screwed up situations, there are "campus rape studies" out there that report women as victims of rape or sexual assault even when the woman herself doesn't view herself as being one. This is often achieved by including the criteria that if the woman was intoxicated at the time of the sexual advance being made, they're incapable of giving consent. Which makes any sexual advances that happen from that point on a sexual assault/rape. Evidently, the intoxication state of their partner is irrelevant, as is the woman's part in their own intoxication. But it stands to reason, that by that same criteria, if an intoxicated woman cannot give consent, an intoxicated man cannot give consent either. Which means there is a lot of mutual rape happening on college campuses across America and the World. How both parties can both be the rapist and the victim at the same time baffles me, but hey, whatever gets them more grant money "for further studies.")
racism isn't about bias, it's about power
Wrong again. Racism has everything to do with the bias of the Racist. The power wielded by the Racist may help them avoid retribution; it doesn't make them right.
Depends on who is using the word. The word has been seeing a lot of over-use over the past 10 years in the United States in particular. It's the ultimate verbal hand-grenade, and it also works reasonably well on discussion forums online, but far better in person. Nobody wants to be called racist, in particular, no white person wants to be found in a face to face confrontation with a racial minority where they're being accused of being racist if they can avoid it, particularly in this modern age of social media.
As such, the "racist" card gets played freely, and often, and usually is used to shutdown a discussion before any meaningful discussion can happen. It has very much become a power play, and the word has very much become about power.
This is why they say minorities can't be racist.
Again, I disagree. It doesn't matter what 'they' say. Anyone who commits an act of Racism, regardless of their race, is a Racist.
But there is no shortage of people, as DS alluded to(and later linked to on the HuffPost), that do openly claim that a racial minority group cannot, by definition, be racist. Reality(and personal experience agrees) says otherwise, but there is no shortage of people who chose to ignore that matter.
So it doesn't matter if we both agree that a person can be racist towards others, regardless of what their own racial identity may be. The problem is there is a large number of other people, who hold a lot of (U.S.) media influence(almost entirely left-wing), that disagree with us on that point. Those who disagree with us on that will often likewise be more than happy to call you racist for insinuating that reverse-racism is even possible in concept, never-mind any claims of it actually happening.