Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write to me. It has been a mixed reaction so far but I welcome all of them.
There seems to two main points that have came up more than once.
The first and main one is the mistakes and bad grammar in the story, and the need to get a editor. Well as I say at the end of the chapters, I am trying to find a editor but so far have had no luck. i posted the story as it is in the hope that maybe that would attract someone who would willing to be the editor for it.
Having said that, I still should have spent more time trying to correct the mistakes myself, so before I post any more chapters that is what I will be doing. This is the first story that I have wrote in quite some time so I'm very rusty when it comes to grammar but I should be able to correct the worse mistakes and with practice I should improve. So although the next version is very likely to still have a number of mistakes, I hope to correct at least some of them.
I hope to get that version up in the next day or two.
The other main comment is about there being no mention of the gender of the character until the middle of the second chapter, this was something that I had done on puropse but thinking about it (and with the number of comments about it), I now think it was a mistake so will be changing that.