As soon as the story was posted I noticed some rather large paragraphs. It is funny, in Word they don't look so bad and they read fairly well, but somehow when posted here they are huge! That is on the fix list. I know huge paragraphs drive me nuts when reading a story...so I should not do that in my stories.
I won't fix it for a few days as I await other comments. So, see anything that needs a fix? I would just as soon make one mass fix of the story rather than several small fixes.