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March 5, 2015
Posted at 12:06 am

A Pain in the Prostate

My doctor is a test happy SOB at times. One of the blood works and the urine came back as bad. I seemed to have a bit of blood in the urine and my PSA was high, a ten when a one is normal. So off to a specialist I went. The urologist had me zero stress the Prostate for a week, then get retested. The zero stress mans no biking, horse riding, motorcycling, sex of any sort, and of course no jacking off.

Well, it didn't go well. My PSA went to eleven and even more blood had shown up in my urine. Real test time it would seem. The first was a CAT scan of the urinary system as a whole. The later that same day, oh god I still cringe thinking about it, and the member tries to climb up inside me, as it did then. He ran a fiber optic camera up the tube into my bladder. Sounds painful, it is, believe me, it is.

Well, the results showed no lesions or other problems, I am just one of those with slightly leaky kidneys. It was the next test, the BIOPSY that was the real pain. Oh by the way, the first time you pee after the camera, you will scream.

First I had to start taking a heavy antibiotic the day before. That was not bad, just a pill. I mean, what is one more to the pile I already take, right? It was the early morning that was the harbinger of things to come. An Enema, a big enema. A clean the guts out until you almost bleed type enema. My ass was hurting before I even left the house.

At the doctors, still early in the morning, I was set in a small operating room. A nurse came in and did the usual nurse things, vitals and such, then she handed me a towel and told me to take of the pants and underware. She pointed at the restroom and told me to also empty the bladder before they started. No problem so far. She had me get on the table, on my left side, with my leg pulled up to towards my chest. This was to give the Doc a clear shot at the exit. It was then I knew manner bad and unpleasant things were about to grace this day.

He comes in, says hi, then shoves a tube of lube up my ass and fills me up a bit, then he inserted the Ultrasound probe, hard. YES, IT HURT. Next, and here is where he and a dentist have a common trait, he gave me two shots of novacain right in the sphincter muscle. Pain, pain, I am going to kill you for this, if I can get up afterwards. Next he slid the sampler in, I didn't feel that though.

SNAP!! What the hell was that! Take a spring loaded needle, any of you readers that have to check blood sugar all the time know this sound, only ten times louder. It also hurt like hell as he punched a hole in the colon wall, into the prostate, taking a core sample of it. Did I say one? I Meant 12 times. He took 12 samples, each with its own SNAP!

When he said, all done, he yanked the probe out and that added more hurt all its own. The nurse told me to stay put until she got back. They left the room, I had my pants on and was ready to run as soon as I could. I had a great fear that he might decide he needed more samples. I got the followup date and beat feet out of their. I spent most of the day asleep after that, and it hurt like hell the first time I had to go, a bit of blood was showing, but that was normal.

Now back to the seven days on no prostate stress. I decided that it might be a good idea to flush the plumbing a bit before sex restarts. I shot blood. It wads a bit worrisome, but normal. Two days later, round two was not as bad, round three, well, mostly clear. From then on, back to normal, for the most part.

Well, good news, no problems found, but I Never, ever want to go through that again.

Now men, talk to your prostate, beg it to behave. You do not want to go through this like I did.

Is this a true story, you bet your sweat bippy it is.