Quick note: I started an external blog which will mostly mirror this blog. I did this for a bit easier commenting system. I'll post the link to the blog and the corresponding post at the beginning of each post here.
The blog: http://glairing.weebly.com/
This post: http://glairing.weebly.com/1/post/2011/11/taking-a-chance-feedback.html
Note from anonymous about 'Taking a Chance':
"Pacing is off for a short story. Chapters 1 to 3 read like the start of a,long story then wham, conclusion.
Left unsatisfied."
You know what, I agree 100% with the statement. I put in all the little details and tidbits that indicated a long story. Then chapter 4 shows up and there it ends.
My rebuttal to this was originally going to start something like, "Yeah, I wanted to write more chapters but..."
But, you know what? Some of my favorite short stories (admittedly by much better writers than I and most if not all of them certainly longer short stories than mine) are ones that left me with a feeling of: "I want to know more about this world/situation/person!" And some of them even ended as abruptly as 'Taking a Chance' did. The most notable examples are several of Stephen King's (did I really just compare my writings to his? Really? I must be insane) short stories that he has published.
There will probably be a sequel to this one, but it may be a while off. The way it is going in my head will require a lot more sex, but I'm not sure I want to write a mostly stroke story. So, it will take time to figure out how to do what I want to do without all the explicit sex. We'll see. If these people continue to play out in my head, I'll have to end up writing it, or write nothing at all.
This is the reason I wrote my next story, which is scheduled to be published Monday, I just couldn't make it stop playing in my head, and once I put it on (figurative) paper, it stopped. Information on that story needs to be saved for a new post closer to when (or shortly after) it is posted, though.
All that said, I still agree with Mr. Anon. I did do it wrong, or at least needed to drag it out a bit more to make ti feel right, even for a short story.
Live and learn.