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world's smallest violin

May 31, 2011
Posted at 12:25 am

A few people have been wondering what happened to me. There's been some speculation. Occasionally authors just disappear and nobody knows why. I guess as long as I can make excuses, I might as well.

I've been sick. I didn't stop writing because of work. I wasn't whisked away in the recent Rapture. I didn't join the cast of Glee. I simply got sick and getting better has absorbed most of my energy for the past 6 months or so. In all likelihood, being sick will be my full-time job from now on. It doesn't pay well, but at least I get full medical and all the Jell-O I can eat.

There's someone supposed to be babysitting my stories and updating my website from time to time - provided I have something specific in mind. Like I asked him to post NIS: Pieces of Sam at Kristen's and he did that for me. Or so he says, I haven't actually looked. I want him to post some stuff here, but the stories I have in mind really need editing and his skills are more in the coffee making department. They will have to wait until I can do it myself or find an editor who speaks rache.

On another note, kind of the reason I'm public at all today...I got an email from a new wanna-be author. Two actually, but the first one I ignored. The second was sort of a weepy apologetic, self-flagellating confession that the person had posted a bit of writing done in my "style" whatever the fuck that is. This was at the SOL Circus and this newby was accused of plagiarism and God knows what else after being up front about his/her intentions.

Here's the only good advice I've ever had for my fellow authors, those of us who have been doing it for years: Give the new authors a break. They're like little kids, you know? In forums especially, we have to practice good parenting and give them the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong. Dropping a tactical nuke on someone's enthusiasm benefits the community not at all. And if that sounds simple or naive or whatever, let me put it this way...Leave me out of it. I can defend myself without lifting so much as a little finger. It's one of the few benefits of being me, I simply don't care...

At least not until I get an email from someone I don't know, apologizing for something they didn't do, and begging for my understanding and forgiveness. Kids. And I'm Catholic enough to think I have to do something about it, like saving whales in Africa. Fuck. How much money did I give them last year?

Okay, that's enough. If none of this made sense, that's good.