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ok this one is better Barney R did the edit he is going to do the first story also so i might re post that soon
so thank you Barney R
and
thank you for reading
Dab10
thank you everyone i will definitely use an editor or at least have someone else read it before posting. after i got some feedback i looked over and saw the errors that i missed. never write and post in less then 15 minutes lol
thanks
Dab10
I have written several stores but this is my first posted one I woke up with idea for this story mostly in full and decided to post it when I wrote it.
thank you for reading
Dab10
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