Chapter 12

“So, let me see if I get this straight. You’re asking me if I’ve been lying about my libido for the past year. Okay, somewhat, but it did sneak up on me a bit. One minute, I’m a normal, married guy with a regular, healthy sex drive, and then I end up ... wanting to fuck anything that moves. And for a traditional, Modern Orthodox Jewish husband, this is a real jolt to my system, you know. It’s like, how did I become this sex-obsessed, constantly masturbating, constantly horny bastard?

“At the same time, you’re turning into a wildcat in bed, and this should have meshed, but I’m wondering what happened to us, and half of me is afraid that we’d turn into some crazy swinger couple or something like that! Plus, it’s just not me to be this addicted to sex! Part of me is thinking that you’re a cheater, and then that gets confirmed that you are, so part of me is resenting you for that. Even as I’ve been cheating as well, even before I learned of your trysts. I’m just feeling guilty about it, not to mention conflicted about why I’m so suddenly twice or thrice as turned-on by you.

“And part of me starts thinking that you’re just a nympho and never were raped at all, that you’ve been hiding this side of you. Part of me also worries that I’m maybe sterile, so what if you have another man’s baby and then try to stick me with it? That kind of thing. It just gets very wild. Then part of me is disgusted by your cheating and starts judging you as a whore and looking for a purer bride. So, guess what, I end up, hypocrite that I perhaps am, given my own adultery, sleeping with Connie, and what do you know, she comes up pregnant!

“Plus, you started being less observant about the Torah, and that just reinforced my harsher view of you, even though I also loved you and was somewhat excited by both of our adulteries,” Allen Shapiro confessed to Amanda now, while the rest of them heard on her speaker phone and Connie listened on his.

“Yes, I was raped. But I have lied about a few things here or there myself, I guess. Mainly, it’s that David isn’t the father. I honestly don’t know who is the father. But it’s not David Howard, my new boyfriend. I’ve come to realize something, honey. I’m ... polyamorous, yes, but also rather promiscuous, omnisexual, and even a bit of a nymphomaniac, as you say. But it really did start with the rape.

“Also, I think that what happened is that my rapist has some condition that causes him to have a rather intense libido, that he passed it onto me, and then I passed it onto all of my sex partners, including you. Which also means that you must have passed it onto Connie and any other partners that you have. I have this intuitive sense that it also raises one’s fertility and immunizes you against social diseases, though I could be wrong about that.

“Simply put, I could well have been sterile prior to this, only to become fertile afterward, as could you. You might want to check and see if this baby is yours, hers that is, nothing against her. Let’s be honest here. Pretty much any crime or sin of a sexual nature is excusable with this condition, honey. As long as it’s with adults, anyway. Or teens of at least what, fourteen, I think?

“This is that powerful of a drive, and don’t tell me that you don’t already know that, given how much you’ve had to try to repress it, to live in denial, to lie me to my face about it, to make fake complaints when you know that you enjoy my new libido, etc. You’re a pious Jew, so you’re embarrassed by your strong, sinful urges, but they haven’t gone away, have they, and they never will. So, baby, let’s face facts. We’re both in the same boat and should have a meeting of the minds here,” Amanda continued while David Howard and company listened to them.

“So, you’re proposing what, a reconciliation? An open marriage? Swinging? Orgies? What?” Allen asked for clarity’s sake.

“Yes! To all of that, yes! And that you join us on our journey out of Jersey, dear. And take Connie along, too, if she’ll come. Marry her, stay married to me, and live bigamously in a growing caravan that is traveling across the country in search of a rumored place called Haven. Learn to share me and Connie as we will share you ... and will share David and the other menfolk. Imagine living in a society where polygamy is legal, where you can walk around naked in broad daylight without being arrested, where wine parties often lead to kinky wife swaps, things like that. One where people just stop worrying about paternity altogether.

“A world without incels, without obscenity laws, without poverty, without crazy Mormons knocking at your door in starched shirts, etc. Without Mafia rule. Without priests and bishops dictating your morals, even if you’re not a Catholic. A world without censorship, where you can go to a strip club without any condemnation, where teenage girls are much less likely to judge you as a ‘creep,’ that sort of thing. A world where ‘forsaking all others’ is dropped from wedding vows, there’s one less reason to divorce, and the very concept of cheating is moot, hence not judged,” Amanda kept making her case now.