Chapter 10

Lisa stood outside Michael’s bedroom door with a laundry basket digging into her hips. Although the bedroom doors offered a modicum of privacy, they weren’t sound-proof. She was so tense that her knees ached and her knuckles were sore.

Her heart felt heavy. Lisa couldn’t shake the intense feelings she was experiencing. She was equal parts confused and angry.

Without feeling herself, she could feel the dampness had returned to between her legs. And while she couldn’t confirm in a mirror, she knew she was flushed.

Only a few minutes ago, she had woken up in a start, hearing the bathroom door close. When she realized what time it was, Lisa woke up, got dressed and pulled the sheets of her yet-again soiled bed. It was only when she walked by her brother’s room that she had heard her younger siblings behind the closed door. They were familiar, but louder and more intense.

They made Lisa stop in her tracks.

She had heard every minute and began to wonder why they had left her out. Was it intentional? Did Naomi plan it this way?

Then when she heard the two moaning, her mind raced and imagined them pleasuring each other like they had done the night before, but now at the same time. It made her feel left out.

It made her feel alone again.

Growing up with her siblings, it was a familiar feeling. Lisa always felt that the fraternal twins shared a connection that she never could have, no matter how hard she tried. When Naomi started sharing a room with her, she did feel closer to her sister but still always felt like an outsider looking in.

In the days following their parents’ deaths, Lisa thought, perhaps foolishly, that it would help bring the three of them closer together. She felt so close to her siblings last night but it all went away in an instant the moment that Naomi ran out of their shared bedroom and back to her old bedroom with Michael. Hearing the two of them share what sounded like moans of pleasure behind their old closed door made it worse. The three of them shared something the night before and now they were experiencing it without her.

Lisa’s legs were stiff. It felt like she had been standing in the hallway for hours when in fact it had only been a few minutes. All she could hear now was bated breaths and the rushing sound of the forced air from their air conditioner. Lisa shifted her weight, holding the laundry basket in her hands, before slowly descending down the stairs. Her head was swimming with conflicting emotions. She steeled herself from crying, afraid of what the tears could mean. She put the sheets in the washer for the second time in as many days before turning on the machine.

The laundry room was her second favorite room. Although it was next to the kitchen, the insulated walls made the room hum whenever either of the two machines were on. The ambient white noise gave her the ability to filter out the world and it was not uncommon for her mother to find her there after a stressful day or if she needed to study. It became so common that her father built a desk into the room which seconded as an ironing table when needed.

She sat in the chair with her arm draped over the back. Letting the vibrations bounce off the walls, Lisa closed her eyes, hoping that the world would make sense again. It wasn’t long before the stairs above her flexed as her siblings’ footsteps descended. What would she say to them? Would she say anything? Would they say anything to her?

By the time she returned to the kitchen, Naomi was already warming up a pan on the stove top. She gave Lisa a wide smile as she scooped flour into a bowl. “Good morning.” There was no doubt that there was a glow about her. Michael sat in the living room, opening his dad’s bible as he looked out into the window like their father would do.

Naomi began to mix the contents of the bowl she was quickly assembling before noticing how distracted Lisa was. “Are you okay?” she asked her.

There was a pause as Lisa considered her answer. Lying wasn’t part of any of the children’s repertoire. But for a brief moment, Lisa considered it. In her hesitation, Naomi put down the bowl and approached her sister. “What’s wrong?”

The concern in Naomi’s voice made Michael turn his attention toward the kitchen. Lisa shifted her balance between her feet. When Naomi reached out to touch her hand, Lisa recoiled. The reaction surprised Naomi, which caused streams of tears to run down Lisa’s eyes.

“I heard you two,” Lisa mumbled. She hung her head in a fruitless effort to hide her tears. They trailed down her cheeks and onto the granite countertop.

Naomi looked at her sister with concern. “What did you hear?”

Lisa’s head was racing, jumping from thought to thought. She wanted to tell her sister everything she was feeling but she knew her words wouldn’t come out fast enough. Looking back at her sister with tear-filled eyes, her throat fell into her chest. “I was walking by this morning. And ... I could hear you two. And I just felt left out. Again. Like I always have. All my life. We shared something yesterday and to hear you two by yourselves. It just made me feel all alone. Again.”

Michael closed the bible and softly made his way toward the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt the moment. Both he and Naomi were aware that their closeness was a source of conflict between them and Lisa. Michael thought that after Naomi had moved into Lisa’s room, their closeness faded. Perhaps it did and whatever it was that Lisa heard only re-opened a wound that had closed.

Naomi put down her bowl and hugged her sister. Her embrace made Lisa cry even harder as she tightly wrapped her arms around Naomi’s shoulders. Naomi tightened her embrace, holding back tears herself.

“You’re not alone. We’re here,” Naomi said as she sniffled. “We didn’t mean to leave you out. I wanted to feel what you felt last night. But this morning ... I don’t know what it was but between a good night’s rest and maybe just being back in that room.” Naomi trailed off. The truth was Naomi wasn’t sure what made the difference. Maybe it was because Michael was on top of her instead of standing between her legs. She didn’t want to believe it was because her sister wasn’t there, but she thought to herself that could have been a possibility. She pushed the thought aside as she didn’t want to reinforce Lisa’s fears.

“I don’t want to be the ‘third’ kid,” Lisa said as she pulled away from her sister’s warm embrace. She turned to Michael, who was now standing next to her, rubbing the small of her back.

“We never wanted you to feel alone, but I know we did, even if it was accidental.” Michael broke his silence as he shared thoughts he’s had for some time. “And saying we’re twins is not an excuse. It’s just the three of us now and we’re going to have to rely on each other from now on. Like when you asked me for help two nights ago.”

Lisa blushed even redder as she realized that she shared something with her brother without regard to her sister. She didn’t get the sense that Michael was trying to chide her but moreso to remind all of them that they were in this together.

Both Lisa and Naomi, in their own heads, felt natural in this moment. Michael’s personality was shifting. Not suddenly, but almost as if he understood his own God-given role in their household. What surprised them both was how easy they felt listening to him and even agreeing with him. Sure, he wasn’t their father or even their pastor. But he was the man that God had placed in their life. While it wasn’t a conscious thought that either of them had, they both felt a sense of safety and security.

Naomi caught Michael’s eyes as he pulled away and felt a tug in her heart. Since their morning activities, she had started to feel a hunger inside her. She wasn’t sure what the feeling was but felt a desire for Michael that went beyond being his sister. She put it aside and returned to her sister who wiped the tears from her face before smiling back at her.

“Want to help me make pancakes?” Naomi asked before picking up the bowl and handing it to Lisa.

Lisa and Naomi were cleaning up from lunch when the doorbell rang. Lisa wiped her hands on the towel that was hanging over the sink before making her way toward the foyer. She looked through the window and saw a woman, which she wasn’t expecting. She had met their parent’s attorney before and wasn’t sure who this person was. She unlocked the doors and opened them wide enough to greet the woman.

“Hi! I’m Amanda Simms. Do I have the right address? I’m supposed to be meeting with the Chelders?”

The woman was a few inches taller than Lisa, given that she was wearing heels. She wasn’t used to seeing women dressed in modern clothes. The woman had on a gray pencil skirt along with a light purple blouse. What made her stand out the most was her skin color. The woman on her door landing was black.

Lisa nodded at the sound of her last name and cleared her throat. “Oh, yes. I’m Lisa Chelders. I was expecting someone else.”

“Oh, I beg your pardon. Your attorney,” Amanda flipped through her folio that she had in her arms, locating the missing information. “Samuel Collins told me to meet him here. May I come in?”

Lisa nodded as she moved out of the doorway. The woman’s heels clicked on the hardwood floor as Lisa led her toward the living room where she and Naomi had put out some refreshments. Realizing they’d need another glass, Lisa rejoined her sister as she was finishing up at the sink.

“Who is that?” Naomi whispered as Lisa reached for a cup.

“I don’t know. She just introduced herself as Amanda Simms.” Lisa took the empty cup back to the living room before the doorbell rang again. This time, it was Naomi who went to the door and opened it.

“Hello again, Mr. Collins,” Naomi said before she turned toward her sister in the living room.

“Ah, Ms. Simms, glad you got here safely. Though I would have preferred that you waited before approaching my clients.” The family attorney was straight and to-the-point. He wore a light blue suit with a lavender tie. Having been to the house before, he took off his jacket and hung it in the coat closet before making his way to the living room.

Michael walked into the living room and greeted both of the guests. He, too, wasn’t sure who the woman was, but before he could ponder, Samuel cleared his throat.

“I know that you three have been through a lot.” The man paused, giving each of the children a soft look before continuing. “I hate to say this but there is still a lot to go through. But before we go through that, I want to introduce you to Amanda Simms. She’s a social worker with the county and has been assigned to your case.”

Amanda nodded at the statement. She crossed her ankles to the side as she took another sip of water. Michael paid great attention to Samuel, who seemed too young to be their parents’ attorney but seemed capable in his own right.

“Ms. Simms is here to make sure that you are still on track to meeting the state requirements. Lisa, you are a senior this year and want to make sure that you’re ready to graduate.”