Chapter 5

We watched a worried Gwen fly out the door, screaming obscenities and she pelted down the hall. Gwen was decorative ... and I enjoyed her back perhaps a trifle too much. The flex and wobble of two cats fighting in a too small bag ... entertaining.

A speculative look took me by surprise.

"What?" I asked, fearful of the answer but I asked anyway.

"Between equals..." the queen started, "Oh, don't look at me like that. You control a Time Travel watch. That, in itself, puts you ... or perhaps your heirs, in line for leadership in the Princessapality. You are at least a prince ... close your mouth.

"As I was saying ... before I was so rudely interrupted ... come now ... a look is as much an interruption as speech," she giggled ... actually giggled ... Eighty years old and acting like a schoolgirl. "If you can find it in your heart to stop looking at me like that, I'll tell you my mind."

"As equals?" I asked ... and snorted.

"Yes, Royal to Royal."

I waved my hand in that circular motion that has always said, All right ... keep going.

"I think you and my granddaughter might just solve a problem I've had with her for nearly ten years," she said.

My eyebrows receded into my hairline ... my mouth split open in preparation to ejaculate a very naughty expletive.

She held her palm up ... I closed my mouth.

"For the last ten years, the finest young ... and not so young ... men in England, Germany, Poland, Finland and the Baltic States have paid court to that miserable little bitch and all for naught," she said.

"She is all of that ... and more," I said.

"Aye. A firmer hand at the reins, and a softer bit between her jaws might produce that which I wave wished for since she turned sixteen," she noticed my growing apprehension. "Great Grand Children."

I spit Earl Grey tea out my nose. She loved it. From giggling, her Royal Highness went to cackling ... I expected a cauldron to appear so she could stir in some eye of newt or toe of frog. I went out of my way to surreptitiously search for a pentagram.

"You're an older gentleman," she started.

"I'll concede the older," as I cut her off, " ... I wouldn't give a nickel for any supposed gentleman I've ever met ... con men, grifters, grafters and ne'er-do-well's to a man. Greedy, parsimonious, little dicked bastards every one. Steal the pennies off a poor man's dead eyes and the offering off the plate."

"So..."

I'm going to regret this ... I just know it.

"So..." she said again, "Just how long were you when you were there?"

For years, I had avoided the appearance of impropriety. Never in a room alone, never in single company, never giving the possibility of accusation a chance. I was now fucked by happenstance. I knew it ... She knew it ... and Gwen knew something was up as she handed me the watch.

"I just saved it," she said. "The new laundry staff is much more efficient than the last." She looked between us ... the Queen with her speculative look ... and I ... with the growing look of horror. "Grandmother! What are you doing?"

"How much time passed in the past while you were back there?"

She was asking us both.

"Maybe an hour," I said.

"Grandmother!"

"Just tell me, girl! How long were you alone with this man!"

"Including the time in the FED A? Possibly 12 hours."

Gwen joined me in that look of horror.

"NO! I won't do it ... you can't make me. I was there at your orders ... Grandmama ... no"

"Just enough time to grow attached to him and then the fortuitous ACCIDENTAL time in the past. Guard!"

"Your Majesty?" the fellow was dressed like a Tudor man at arms.

"Summon the Archbishop," she said. "Wait! The Lord Mayor, Prime Minister and my secretary. Go!

"Marion, you stay ... you need to witness."

Shit and fall back in it! I grabbed Gwen by the hand and wound the watch.

"Oops," I said, "Not far enough."

The JU88 was just visible through the smoke and flame of London burning.

I depressed the stem.

The Queen.

I wound the watch.

The mad King was ranting at the Regent.