A Handful of Darkness
Chapter 4

Copyright© 2014 by The Heartbreak Kid

Day 4

The nightdress had stayed off again last night. Mary stretched and then slid her hand down over her belly. “ ... Hmm ... time to get the razor out I think,” she said to herself. She should be okay for the bathroom, she thought. Bernie kept a packet of disposable razors in the bathroom cabinet but Mary still had the one she’d only used once before and which was new then.

She had showered, shaved and washed her hair in just over thirty minutes. White thong and black bra today. She also put on yesterday’s jeans and shirt; if she had to go to the hospital later she’d have to change again anyway. Tommy was already up, too, and was downstairs in the kitchen.

“Morning, Tricia! Morning, Tommy!” Mary said, seating herself at the table at right-angles to him. “I said we’d ring Bernie as soon as we’ve rung the hospital.”

It was less than two miles from where they were to Hull Royal Infirmary, but even if Mary had to go, it would probably not be until the afternoon visiting time. By the time that they’d had breakfast and a cup of tea, it was nearly eleven. Mary felt a little guilty; she wanted Sister Catherine to be well again but she also wanted to go out with Tommy’s sister, who she now considered to be a close friend. So it wasn’t just the way that Tommy looked at her that made her stomach flutter.

“ ... Yes ... thank you ... I understand...” she heard him say. “Do you think it would be possible for me to come in and talk to someone for a few minutes ... I’m not far away ... yes, Tommy Malone, a friend...” Mary’s look was enough; she didn’t have to ask.

“She’s still the same. I’m going down there later to discuss our options, but there’s no need for you go, too. When you get back, though, you might want to talk to your Mother Superior again. Do you want to call Bernie, you can use my phone?” He found the number in his contacts.

“Just push the green button to dial and the red one to hang up.” Mary didn’t speak for very long. She handed the phone back to Tommy and then even though Tricia could come in at any time, she took his hand in hers.

“I feel so guilty, Tommy: should I really be out with Bernie enjoying myself when Sister Catherine has been like that for days now.”

“I can’t answer that for you, Mary, Love. If it will make you feel better sitting by her bedside, praying, then I’m sure they’d let you, but my personal feelings are that she’s in the best hands at the moment and you being there might make you feel better, but not necessarily her. According to your faith, isn’t her life already in God’s hands and it’s His will whether she stays with you or goes to him.” Mary sighed. “Yes, I suppose so. Thank you, Tommy.”

They stayed like that until they heard his sister’s key in the door. Bernie was usually pretty upbeat, but she was good at reading people’s faces.

“Is there something wrong ... Sister Catherine...” Mary managed to smile weakly. “No, no change there ... just me feeling guilty.”

“Then you need this outing,” Bernie said, “I don’t want to trivialise the situation, but a few hours in the sunshine won’t do you any harm and it might do you some good. Hull’s okay, but I was thinking: York’s only an hour or so away on the train. The station’s not far ... we can walk it in twenty minutes. And when we’ve spent all my brother’s money, we can pop into the Minster: I know it’s not our lot, but it’s the same God!” Mary actually laughed.

“I agree,” Tommy said, “ ... Except that part about spending all my money! You two go ‘n’ have a great time!” Bernie looked at Mary.

“ ... Hmm ... clothes are okay ... but we might need to sort the shoes out first! Come on up to my boudoir, Rock Chick ... let’s see if we can sort you out!”


They got to the station in time for the 12:03. There was a train back at 16:12, but if they missed that one there was another just over an hour later. They were two young and attractive women walking down the road, arm-in-arm, and apparently without a care in the world. It was something else that Mary Teresa Morrison had often thought she’d like to do as a younger girl, but she never made close friends.

Bernie had been to York lots of times, so she led Mary through the streets from the station to The Shambles. “Lunch first, Honey,” she said, “then shopping.” They found somewhere where they could get large cups of coffee and delicious pastries.

“I had a quick look at the Handful of Darkness website last night after you and Andy left ... it’s very good. Did you do it all; Tommy said Andy helps?”

“ ... Well, without wishing to sound unnecessarily modest ... it is mostly my baby. I’ve always been a bit artistic and creative, so I first had a go while I was still at school. It was very basic then, just news and a few pictures, but then I met Andy and he helped me expand it and make it look more professional.

“But it’s not just the web site: I’m also in charge of the merchandising side, so I’ve had to source suppliers and organise the distribution. Tommy and the band really are good guys; they make their money from the music side, so we sell the fan stuff at break-even prices, rather than let some unscrupulous third-party opportunist sell rubbish at inflated prices. You still get them flogging T-shirts at the gigs, but as long as they don’t do it inside the venues we can’t stop them and most of the fans know they can buy our quality goods online.”

“Tommy said you take some of the pictures as well.”

“ ... Yes ... that’s the real fun part! I’ve never been on one of the long tours of the States or Asia ... I’m still working on him about that ... but I did some of the shorter European tours with them. Once I was eighteen mum and dad couldn’t say much, but they knew I was a good girl and Tommy would look after me ... and of course I know all the wives and girlfriends quite well, too. If you’ve seen the tour pictures, what did you think?”

“That it looks very exciting!”

“It can be, but it’s not a holiday. They’re musicians, so they live for the music and there isn’t really time to do much else. Their partners generally keep them grounded, but that’s why there have always been a lot of, shall we say, ‘excesses’ in the music industry. Our Tommy’s never had a drink or drugs problem, because with him it’s 100% music first ... and anything that stops him giving everything has no place in his life. You haven’t known him very long, Mary, but you must have realised what a sweetheart he his, and why we all love him to pieces and will do anything for him. He looks after Ma and Pa and me, and he’s even given our Frankie a professional leg up. Have you heard any of the band’s stuff yet?”

“No, not yet, but he got me an iPod and he said there’s some of his music on it; but he’s put hours and hours of religious things, too, but I haven’t had a chance to listen to any of it yet.”

“Well, I’m biased, of course, but that’s just the sort of thing he does. It is a bit of an acquired taste, but you might like it. Right, nun lady ... let’s hit those shops!”

It was maybe a bit cruel, knowing that in theory Mary could have had so much, but in practise could have almost nothing, but she loved every minute of being with Bernie and laughing at her irreverence and general outlook on life. She didn’t go back completely empty-handed: they bought her a couple of pairs of nice, comfortable, but ultimately sensible shoes. Also more underwear; more sober than Bernie would choose to wear herself, but which was still more feminine and wearable than her old things.

“ ... And of course, if you wash it out yourself at night, who’s to know,” Bernie said. She made Mary promise to pack the bras and thongs she gave her, “ ... Even if you never get the chance to wear them again!”

Bernie even took her to a branch of a famous chain of shops that specialised in ladies lingerie and adult toys, where they had a good giggle and Mary blushed when Bernie explained how some of the strange-looking objects were employed.

Bernie Malone was as generous as her brother and she would willingly have given Mary anything else from her wardrobe that she wanted, but Mary just thanked her and said that there were good reasons why everyone wore basically the same thing, so there was no point taking anything that wouldn’t be worn; but if Bernie tired of her clothes it would be better to give them to a charity.

 
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