Chapter 53

Looking forward to Sherrie's visit, I ran out and uncovered the hot tub, brought up two fluffy towels, and laid out some iced tea and apple slices, with some cheese and crackers. Then I generally got things ready for some serious hot tubbing. It wasn't long, and Sherrie came walking across the backyard carrying a little bundle.

We shared a laugh when she saw the preparations I'd made, because she brought fruit and crackers with her, too. "I guess great minds really do think alike," I said.

Sherrie slipped out of her robe, and even though little while earlier I'd seen her naked from a distance a little while earlier, I was immediately hard as a rock. Her thighs and butt were worthy of a Shakespearian sonnet, while her breasts made me want to crawl up in her lap and nurse.

To cover my arousal I tossed our towels over one of the chairs, and hopped in, holding my hand out to assist Sherrie. She was much more deliberate, taking the time to carefully fold her robe, lay it safely on the seat of the chair where my robe had been flung, and gracefully slide over the ledge, into the tub.

She moaned gratefully as she sank to her neck and said, "Wow. This is great. How do you discipline yourself to drive the boat knowing this bit of paradise is right behind you?"

"It can be a distraction, but since I'm not on a time schedule, if I decide to take a break, I take a break. Who's going to complain?"

Sherrie was flexing her arms and legs beneath the hot water. "Truly, this is marvelous. Thank you for asking me to join you." She smiled so brightly, I could see it even through the gathering darkness. Sherrie had that special something that drew me to her like no one else, with the exception of Beth Ann.

I wanted her. That was no surprise.

It did surprise me to realize that I wanted to have a child with her. I wanted to be the mechanism by which she conceived another baby. Wanting wasn't going to get it done. I couldn't have a child no matter how hard I wished. With a sick little girl, I doubted Sherrie was thinking about men, sex, or another child, especially since her husband just took a powder.

"Tell me all about yourself, Brian. You seem so centered, and self-sufficient. I want to know more about you.

"Where were you born?"

"No Place, Iowa - population in the high double digits." It sounded stupid, but satisfied her for the moment.

"Why are you traveling all alone in this beautiful yacht? Where are all the hot babes that wear micro thongs, and snort whiskey, or whatever they snort, these days?"

"I told you most all this with your dad, earlier. I'm alone. Last summer, my only family was killed in the crash. There was so much going on, I never got a chance to grieve properly, and I knew I was going to be terrible company for a long time. Rather than alienate the few friends I have, I took off to give myself a chance to heal.

"If you want the gory details, I'm really not completely ready to share all that. Let's just say I needed time to think about nothing, and see if I could find a way to feel like me again."

Sherrie eyes grew wide and sympathetic. I did not want this poor woman feeling sorry for me, when her entire life is being taken up waiting for her only child to die. She was all alone because her prick of coward, husband didn't have the guts to see it through with her. To head that off I said, "Sherrie, you really don't want to listen to my boring, shallow story, when you have all you can do to take care of Jennifer. Please forgive me for running my mouth. I promise not to it again." I needed to change the subject.

"Tell me about you. Where were you born, how did you meet Jennifer's father, where did you go to school ... Tell me everything!" I put a light excitement in my voice, hoping she would catch it and get excited about telling me all about her and Jennifer.

Sherries gave me a look, like she was thinking about what to say and what to keep silent about. There are two ways to deal with a woman that doesn't know which way she wants to go, when telling a man about herself. You can push, prod, and shove. Lots of women love to talk about themselves but need to be 'encouraged, ' so it doesn't look like they're too vain. The other is to ask nicely and let her reel out the facts as she feels moved.

Sherrie's life was a never ending series of days in which she worked as hard as she could, to keep her baby alive. This wasn't a time to push and shove. Tonight was a night to let the mood take her wherever she wishes to go.

So I remained silent and waiting.

She thought about it.

I thought about her thinking about it ... and smiled at her.

That seemed to help her make up her mind. "You've seen how my father lights up when he talks about my mother. He and Mother fell in love and married while Daddy was still working his way up the ranks in the Air Force. If you get to see any of Daddy's old photo albums, that my mother kept for him, you'll see a dashing, happy-go-lucky, debonair, and confident young man, who grew into a strong, driven, leader, that took care of his family and his country, in that order.

"Mother said she never thought Daddy would get his General's star, because he was more devoted to us than his next promotion, but the Joint Chiefs saw it differently. Daddy was the 'go-to, ' man for them. He was always being sent to fix problems that someone else couldn't figure out. Daddy would leave us for months at a time, but never for years, like his peer group.

"Mother says I was conceived on their wedding night. Unlike so many of her girlfriends, my mother was determined not to be forced to get married because she was pregnant. She made Daddy wait until after the wedding reception. According to Daddy, it is possible I was conceived during the reception, but every time Daddy brought it up, Mother always blushed, and never allowed him to go into any more detail than that.

"Either way, I was wanted and loved. Mother and Daddy always put my needs first. Even when Mother was dying, she would lecture Daddy for hours about how to break the news to me, to make sure I wasn't devastated when she died.

"God in Heaven, I miss her." She wasn't talking to me anymore. She was healing, and I let her. Sherrie smiled through her tears and said, "My mother never worked another day after she met Daddy. She says he proposed during their first dance at the USO Club, and it was later that evening before she realized he was dead serious.

"You HAVE to get Daddy to tell this story. He loves to remember Mother the way she was that night in San Antonio. It will be so good for him, if you draw him out like you're doing me.

"Thank you, by the way. Thanks for letting me talk about this, instead of trying to get in my panties." She hesitated, and then went on.

"By the way, I'm very sorry." She was serious and I had no idea what was coming. Rather than try to stay a step ahead of her, I knew it was smarter to let her set the agenda. So I stayed quiet.

"When you parked the boat, I noticed I could see into my bedroom from the top deck. After I got Jen settled in the bath, I decided to change into other clothes before I bathed her, to keep from getting my regular clothes wet if she splashed me. As soon as I pulled my dress over my head, I remembered the view from your boat, and it gave me a little shiver. I knew that if I could see you, then you could see me.

"When I peeked in the mirror, I could see you walking around on top of the boat.

"It's been a very long time since anyone looked at me; I guess I just decided to see if you liked what you saw. I'm so sorry. You did nothing to deserve me teasing you. I knew you would be able to see me undress if you climbed to the top, when you were checking your boat.

"I didn't intend to lead you on, or tease you, Brian. I just wanted someone to look at me and think I was desirable. You were so sweet about getting a good look and then not being obnoxious about it.

"Thank you for watching me just long enough to satisfy your curiosity, then walking away, and giving me back my dignity, rather than ruin it by staring, or behaving like a jerk. I would have felt like such a cheap tramp if you had stood there and stared.

"You've kind of mesmerized us all. Jennifer thinks you hung the moon. Daddy can't say enough about you, and I am very thankful for how kind you've been to Jennifer. Thank you and please don't think badly about me." She was so sincere. Her admission had to have taken an enormous amount of courage. I needed to make sure she knew I didn't think ugly thoughts about her.

"Sherrie, I was attracted to you the moment I set eyes on you, on the dock at Blackwater Inn. When I came up here, earlier and saw you changing, I almost came down and threw you on the bed, so I could have my way with you. I was that aroused, not because you were undressed - but because you're so beautiful.

"I am restraining myself every second you're nearby. You're gorgeous, and I want to possess every bit of you, and have my way with every nook and cranny of your body. Hopefully this isn't a red flag, but if you wanted me to look at you as an attractive woman when you were changing your clothes, you failed. I was looking at you that way from the first.

I was silent, then. We both had bared ourselves just a little too much, and I was concerned about how Sherrie would accept my admissions.

Apparently she was too. After thinking for a little while, Sherrie looked at me and in total sincerity said, "You are telling the truth, aren't you? You're not just trying to get in my pants, and feeding me a line." She thought a little more, and then said, "You liked looking at me with my clothes off, didn't you?" It was as if she had no idea she was attractive.