Chapter 16: We’ve Got No Secrets

I Saw Her Standing There

May 1974

After Lori’s announcement over the Easter weekend, Cathy and I tried to spend more time with just the two of us together. But, despite these plans, life seemed to get even more chaotic. The school concert came and went, and my performances went well. I enjoyed singing with Megan, playing folk music on the guitar, despite others ribbing me about the medieval minstrel clothing.

Schoolwork and study didn’t slow down, either. It took a lot of dedication and discipline, but I was able to keep Friday nights and Saturdays free; Friday night was about the only time Cathy and I had to ourselves, and Saturday was rehearsals and playing at the Mirage.

Tommy’s decision to leave the group and move north with work meant I had more songs to work on as a singer, but at least I had several weeks; and the May school holidays to practice. We had to rework quite a few of the songs, not just the ones where Tommy did the singing, but there were others where he and I would share the singing. By now, though, we had become pretty good at rearranging pieces, and Paul in particular was skilled at coming up with good arrangements.

As well, I found I could sing through a full rehearsal session and most of the Saturday night’s performance without my voice giving out, although we still intended to have more instrumental time once I had to carry all of the lead vocals. Bruce Wilson, our new drummer, was turning out to be great. Not only was he brilliant on the drums, but also had some new ideas for songs we should play.

On our second rehearsal after he joined us, he bought a bunch of old 45 records; early Beatles and Elvis mainly.

“We seem to be getting more people in their mid-thirties turning up,” he said. “We should throw in some music from their time, too.”

We settled on working on two Beatles numbers; “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” and “I Saw Her Standing There”. That last one we would do in a pretty up-tempo version, it was pretty challenging to sing without wearing out my voice, but it was a lot of fun. Another one of his suggestions we started working on, a recent Elvis one “You Were Always On My Mind”, a sad lament about a person who has lost their lover, because they didn’t spend enough time with them. We weren’t sure just how we would fit that into our performances, but we soon had several new pieces up our sleeves, so to speak.

The group wasn’t the only musical demand on me; there was my piano grade exam at the Conservatorium during the week of the school holidays. With everything else going on, it had almost skipped my mind. The actual pieces I had to play weren’t too bad; certainly not easy – it was a 5th grade exam, after all. But the scales and other exercises bored me shitless, and it took all of my discipline to work through them every day.

I was looking forward to the week and a half break from school, but also feeling a bit down about it. Not having the daily grind of schoolwork was a relief, but Cathy (and David) would be up at Katoomba, and Lori was going to an information session all week at one of the universities on careers in journalism. Some of my other friends from school would be away, so I was going to be pretty much alone. The weather helped; it had turned cold and drizzly, and summer was well behind us, almost forgotten in the cold and foggy mornings. At least there wasn’t the distraction of lazing around the pool, or heading off to the beach, so I spent every day until the day of the exam practising.

I surprised myself with my grade exam results, another A overall, which I wasn’t expecting, given that I hadn’t spent as much time practicing the pieces as I would have preferred. However, my piano teacher told me that all of the group playing; not just at the Mirage, but the folk music with Megan, and similar activities was showing a marked improvement in my playing style. My sight-reading had improved dramatically, and I was able to pick up the feeling of pieces much faster.

With the exam (successfully) behind me, I felt at a loose end, and with the weather still miserable outside, I was feeling rather depressed. The exam was out of the way, Cathy was up in the mountains, and Lori was involved in planning her future career. Garry and Sarah were still wrapped up in each other, and certainly didn’t want me hanging around like a spare wheel. I could have practiced a few pieces for Saturday, I still wasn’t getting some of the vocal timing on the new songs quite right, but I was sick of sitting at the piano.

I had spent most of the morning moping around, when the phone rang just before lunchtime. It was Janelle, wanting to see what I was doing.

“I was thinking we could go skating tonight, if you wanted,” she suggested.

“Yeah, maybe,” I replied, not sounding all that interested.

“Oh, come on, you enjoyed it last time, it will be fun,” she countered. “Besides, what else were you planning on doing? Nothing, I bet.”

She had me there, I had to admit, I hadn’t any thoughts about what to do for the rest of the day – or week, for that matter. Maybe I wanted to feel miserable, but Janelle seemed determined to go, and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I’ll see you on the bus at six-thirty, ok?” she said.

Actually, the thought of going out and doing something cheered me up, and I actually felt like playing the piano for a bit, and managed to get the vocal timing that was eluding me right. The weather must have been tied to my mood, because by early afternoon the clouds had cleared, the rain vanished, and the sun was shining. Not that I was crazy enough to dive into the pool, but I did spend an hour sitting out by the pool reading.

I had an early dinner, and was at the bus stop with ten minutes to spare. When I got on, Janelle waved at me from the back.

“Who else is coming?” I asked.

“It’s just you and I,” she replied. “Everyone else is away, or busy, it seems.”

I noticed she was wearing a mid-length skirt, and pointed it out.

“Are you skating in that?” I asked.

“No silly, I have some jeans in my bag,” she replied. “I always wear skirts when I go out now, I prefer it.”

When we got to the rink, Janelle changed from her skirt to a pair of jeans while I hired a pair of skates. Soon we were on the ice, going around and around like before – but this time without any of our “friends” to tip us over. I was now feeling confident on the skates, and I became more adventurous, trying little turns and spins.

After about an hour, they started to play some music, for those that wanted to dance while they skated.

“Come on, we can do that,” Janelle encouraged me. “Just hold me like we are dancing normally, put your hand on my waist, and hold my hand like this,” she instructed. “Now let’s start out slowly, nothing too fancy.”

We managed to move to the music; Janelle skating backwards while I tried not to get my feet caught up with her. Every so often I would try a turn, and while we weren’t as good as most of the others – at least I wasn’t as good as the others – we didn’t look too out of place.

“Hold me closer to you,” she said after a few minutes. “It will be easier that way, and you won’t be tempted to look down at your feet.”

As she said that, she pulled me closer, and I slid my hand from her waist around her back. I could feel her breasts pressing lightly against my chest, and I tried to concentrate on not tripping us over.

“You could even move that hand lower down,” she whispered to me. “Just above my bum, that’s a better place.”

I moved my hand lower, until it was resting at the top of her jeans.

“Not any lower?” I asked.

“Well, if there weren’t all these other people around...” she said, winking at me.

We continued skating for a while longer, until my feet started to get sore. Janelle suggested that we go over the road for coffee, rather than persist with the skating; she said I would only start to complain and whinge.

“Once your feet start hurting, it’s not fun anymore,” she said. “That’s why I got my own skates, they’re far more comfortable that the hire ones.”

She went to the ladies room to put her skirt back on, while I returned my skates. I offered to carry her bag for her, and as we left the rink, she held my hand.

“I liked dancing with you,” she said. “I haven’t done that for a while. Did you like it?”

“Yeah, it was good,” I replied. “Once I got the hang of it, and stopped worrying that I would trip us up. That fall last time was enough for me, but at least I could blame that on someone else.”

“Oh, and didn’t you like how you landed then?” she teased me. “At least you know how to dance, and how to hold me.”

I guess I had seen more couples dancing over the past four months than I had seen in all of my life before then, so I had a pretty good idea from watching them at the Mirage, how to hold someone, and how to move to the music.

“Feel like a coffee?” I asked her.

We each got a hot coffee from the milk bar next to the bus stop, and walked down towards the lake to drink it.

“Too wet to sit on the grass tonight,” I said to her.

“I wasn’t planning on sitting on the grass,” she said, emphasising the word ‘sitting’.

We found a bench, and it was dry enough to sit on. As Janelle sat next to me, I unconsciously put my arm around her shoulders, and she cuddled up against my side, and placed her hand on my thigh.

“This is nice sitting here, seeing the all the stars, and the lights up on the hill,” she said. “No moon, though, I was hoping it would be lighter.”

“Lighter?” I asked. “Why?”

“I want to show you something,” she said. “Not that it matters, I can do it up near the main road, and you will be able to see.”

“Do what?” I asked. I wasn’t all that sure what she was on about.

“Pee in my skirt, silly,” she said. “Why do you think I wore it tonight? I don’t have panties on, so I can just stand up and pee right on the ground, and nothing will get wet. Don’t look so surprised; I’ve wanted to show you for weeks, you know that. That’s why I normally wear skirts, not jeans any more, and I rarely wear knickers now days; not even at school. I’ll have to work out a way to give you a flash next week, so you can see.”

“Oh, yeah,” I replied, slightly embarrassed. “I thought you were only joking about that, you know teasing me. I didn’t think you were serious, though. And not wearing knickers, I mean, what if someone sees?”

“You certainly haven’t, have you?” she replied. “Why do you think I wear mid length or longer skirts? It’s not because I don’t like you guys perving at my legs; it’s because I don’t wear any knickers. If you don’t believe me, feel me.”

She hitched the bottom of her skirt up, and pulled my hand to her. I slid my hand up the inside of her thigh, and, just as she had said, she wasn’t wearing anything under her skirt. I felt her pussy, and then took my hand away.

“You are brave, doing that,” I said. “I guess with the long skirts, there isn’t much chance of anyone seeing.”

“Not unless I deliberately let them,” she replied. “Wait until next week; you can have a good look if you want. Now finish your coffee, and we can walk up to that street light, I’m ready to pee.”

I drained the last of my coffee, and we walked – this time, arm in arm – up towards the main road. We tossed our empty cups in a bin, and Janelle pointed to a place near the Pittwater Road Bridge over the lagoon.

“That looks ideal,” she said. “There’s the fence you can lean against, we will look like we’re just hanging around, and my pee will really show up on the concrete path, come on.”

Janelle was right; it was a good place to try what she was suggesting. I leant with my back against the top rail of the fence, while she stood with her back to the main road just in front of me. She had her feel slightly further apart than normal, but not so far that she looked strange.

“Ok, I’m ready,” she said. “Now, look at the ground beneath my feet, I’m about to start.”

As she finished speaking, I could hear the faint hissing sound as she began to pee, and I saw the thin stream of her pee falling between her legs, below the hem of her skirt. It splashed on the ground between her feet.

“Can you see it?” she asked, and I nodded. “I’m pretty full, well, very full, actually, but I have to keep the flow soft and steady, otherwise it sprays and gets my skirt and legs wet. What do you think? Pretty sexy, isn’t it?”

I had to admit Janelle was right; it was sexy, watching her pee like that, in plain view right next to Pittwater road with cars going past all the time. As she continued pissing, the damp patch between her feet grew larger, until there was a big pool between her feet. It began to flow to one side, running in a thin stream down the path.

“I can keep on pissing, and no one knows, only you,” she said. “I find it a real turn on, you know, doing this in public. Although I bet you would prefer me to have my skirt pulled right up, so you could see my pussy, and watch it stream between my lips.”

“Yeah, I like seeing that,” I said. “But this is pretty sexy, you being really sneaky like that, pissing in public and only I know what you are doing.”

“Does it turn you on?” she asked. “It turns me on, peeing like this for you.”

I just nodded; Janelle was right, watching her do that was turning me on.

“God, I am full,” she said. “I didn’t think I had that much inside me! At least this way, I never have to worry about pissing my pants anymore.”

The gentle stream of pee continued to fall between her legs, adding to the large pool at her feet, before flowing down the path. Finally, the stream finished, and Janelle stepped away from where she had peed.

“Shit, that was a huge amount,” she exclaimed. “Now let’s go back to where it is darker, and you can check that I didn’t get my skirt or legs wet.”

She pulled me down the path to the lakeshore, away from the streetlights. When we were about 50 metres away, where it was darker, she pulled her skirt up.

“Feel my legs, see if I sprayed them,” she said.

I ran my fingers up the inside of her thighs, and just as she had predicted, they were dry.

“Now feel the back of my skirt, inside it, to see if any got there,” she continued.

“No, that’s all dry too,” I said, brushing her skirt with my fingers. “You did pretty well, I’m impressed.”

“Now, how about you?” she asked. “Can I get to see you pee, and hold you as you go?”

My bladder was rather full; the coffee was making its effect felt.

“Yeah, I do need to go, I guess,” I replied. “You want to hold me?”

A silly question, I guess. No sooner had I said that than Janelle unzipped my jeans, and had pulled out my prick.

“Ok, I guess you do want to hold it,” I replied, smiling at her. “You stand behind me, unless you want a shower!”

“Hmmm, maybe some other time,” she said, and moved around, still holding my prick. “I’m not squeezing too tight, am I?”

“No that’s fine,” I said.

I concentrated on letting my pee flow, and after a few seconds it began. Janelle waved my prick around, laughing at how the stream of silvery piss moved around, following her directions. Finally, when I had finished pissing, she shook my prick dry, sliding the loose skin up and down my shaft several times.

“I could just keep doing that,” she said. “Maybe I will get to see something else come out of there.”

“Maybe some other time,” I said, taking her hand from my prick, and putting it away. “So, we both had a good pee, and stayed dry, too.”

“Well, not completely dry,” she said, turning to face me. “Feel, and see for yourself,” she added, putting my hand up inside her skirt, against her pussy.

She was quite damp, but not just from her pee.

I tried to move my hand away, but Janelle pressed it firmly against her.

“You can feel it some more, please,” she pleaded. “I will get very wet if you touch me there, you know just how to do that.”

I pressed my fingers against Janelle’s pussy, sliding my middle finger between her lips and spreading the wetness up and down her slot. When my finger touched her clitoris, she drew her breath in sharply, and opened her legs wider.

“Oh, yeah, right there,” she sighed. “That’s the perfect spot, right on my clit!”

I kept rubbing her, every so often sliding my finger inside her, feeling how wet and hot she was inside. Janelle was holding on to my shoulders to steady herself; and she leant back so I could slide my finger inside deeper. She was now very wet, and as I pushed my finger inside her vagina I could hear the wet, squelching noises as I pushed into her. She squeezed her muscles around my finger, but she was so wet my finger moved easily.

“Oh, keep doing that, right there,” she moaned as my finger pressed against the sensitive spot just inside her.

I continued moving my finger inside her, while rubbing her clitoris with my thumb at the same time. Her hands gripped me tightly, and I could feel her legs tremble.

“Oh yeah! Yes, fuck yes!” she exclaimed as her orgasm started.

Her body shook as the waves of pleasure swept over her; I continued rubbing her clitoris with my thumb, and moving my finger inside her vagina. When it had finished, Janelle leant against my body for support, breathing heavily. I pulled my finger from inside her, and pressed my hand against her pussy – which was now very much wetter than when I started.

“That was wild, so powerful,” she said, once she had caught her breath. “You know, when you make me come, it’s so much nicer, so much stronger than when I do it myself.”

I kissed her briefly on the lips, and she hugged me.

“But now I am really wet, I’ll have to see if I have a tissue or something,” she said.

Janelle rummaged around in her bag, and pulled out a small pack of tissues. While I dried my fingers, she wiped her pussy dry, as best she could.

“Bugger it, it will be wet for a while yet,” she said. “I guess we can walk around until we have to take the bus home.”

We walked along the lakeshore for a few hundred metres, arm in arm. We didn’t say anything, it was nice to just be together, and the feeling of her body next to mine, her hip bumping against me was somehow comforting. Finally, it was getting time for us to walk back to the bus stop and head to our respective homes.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” she asked me once we were on the bus.

“Not really,” I replied. “Maybe a bit of piano practice, nothing important.”

“If the weather’s nice, do you want to do something?” she asked. “Maybe take the bus to Palm Beach, have some fish and chips for lunch?”

“Yeah, that sounds good, better than sitting around at home,” I replied.

“What if I meet you on the bus then, I think there’s one that goes through Newport about eight thirty,” she said. “That is if the weather stays fine.”

“Ok, I’ll give you a call just after seven if I won’t be able to make it, or the weather turns shitty again,” I said.

We continued the rest of the way to Mona Vale in silence, I had my arm around Janelle’s shoulders, and she held my other hand in her lap. As the bus neared my stop, she pulled my face to her, and gave me a long, deep kiss.

“I’m going to have lots of lovely, wild dreams about us tonight,” she said softly. “Thanks for, you know, everything.”

“Thanks, too, for what you showed me,” I replied. “I enjoyed the night, it was fun. See you tomorrow morning,” I added, as I stood to get off the bus.

As I walked up the hill from the bus stop, I felt a twinge of guilt for what Janelle and I did earlier that evening. While I didn’t really consider it cheating on Cathy, I mean, after all it was her suggestion that Janelle join us, with Lori, back last summer, I was sort of going behind her back. I halfway considered calling Janelle in the morning, to say I wouldn’t be able to go with her tomorrow, but decided to sleep on it. Besides, I told myself, we can spend time together just as friends, and not do anything serious.

Of course, at eight the next morning, I was waiting at the bus stop for the Palm Beach bus. The morning was cool, but the sun was starting to come out, with luck, it would be a fine late autumn day. As the bus pulled up at Newport, Janelle was waiting. Once again, she was wearing a calf-length skirt, and I wondered if she was going without knickers again.

“Hi there,” she said as she sat down next to me, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I’m glad you decided to come, when I woke up I was afraid you may have changed your mind.”

“Well, it wasn’t an easy decision,” I replied. “I lay awake half of the night, worrying about it.”

Janelle didn’t pick up the tone in my voice, and thought I was being serious. She looked quite worried.

“What would I do, I thought to myself,” I continued. “Stay at home all day, with my brother and sister bugging me, bored out of my mind, or to spend a lovely sunny day out with a good friend? Yeah, it wasn’t an easy decision.”

She pulled a face, and punched me in the shoulder.

“You bugger, I thought you were being serious there at the start,” she said. “Now you definitely owe ME a kiss – and make it a good one, or I’ll be pissed off with you!”

I laughed at her reaction, saying “did you really think I wouldn’t want to spend the day with you? Even if I wouldn’t be pestered at home by the others, I would still have come with you.”

“Hmph,” she snorted. “Make up to me with that kiss,” she demanded.

I turned her face to me, and kissed her quickly and chastely on the lips.

“No, not like that,” she said. “A proper kiss. You know what I mean.”

I put one arm around her, and pulled her around with my other arm. I felt one soft breast press against my body as I brought her face close to mine. Janelle flicked her tongue across her lips, and I saw them part slightly. The distance between our lips closed in what seemed to take an age, but was probably only a fraction of a second, and I felt their warm, soft wetness against mine. I looked into her eyes, and after a pause, she closed them, and pressed her face closer against mine. Our mouths, now locked together, opened further, and I felt Janelle move her tongue slightly, as if she was testing, tasting, not sure if she should reach for mine. My tongue moved forward to meet hers, and she pulled my body tight to her; a hand behind my head pressing our mouths tight together.

Our kiss seemed to last forever, but when we broke apart, the bus was only part way around the Bilgola bends. Maybe a three minute kiss, or a bit longer, but it felt much, much longer than that.

“Wow!” she exclaimed, resting back against the side of the bus. “I could forgive you for anything with kisses like that.”

She held my free hand between hers, resting them in her lap, and leant her head against my shoulder. We travelled in silence for a while, looking out of the window at the view of the ocean. The rains of the previous days had gone, leaving everything green and looking freshly washed and clean.

“I love the ocean,” she said after a few minutes. “I love living so close to it, and I can’t wait for summer to come back. As soon as it is warm enough, I get up early every morning, before six, and go down to the beach, and swim in the surf. Even on days when it’s raining, it’s still great in the water.”

“Well, I don’t go to the beach, but I do swim laps in the pool,” I replied. “But I know David does much like you do, he’s only a few minutes from the beach as well”

I decided not to mention that Cathy didn’t get up early to go to the beach, I didn’t want to bring her up with Janelle.

“What about Cathy,” Janelle said. “I don’t think she goes for early morning swims.”

Well, Janelle had to bring her up; so either she wasn’t worried if I felt guilty, or wanted to bring something to a head.

“I don’t think she does either,” I replied. “But we have been for some late night swims.”

“That sounds like fun,” she said. “Nude swims too I bet, knowing Cathy. We should try that, when it gets warmer, I mean.”

I nodded, trying not to think about some of the late night swims with Cathy. When I didn’t answer her, Janelle looked at me.

“Are you worried about Cathy?” she asked. “I mean, what she might think of us together?” I nodded. “Well, you shouldn’t worry; after all, she set us up, and Lori, too, to begin with. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to steal you away from her, or anything like that; it’s just like you and I having some harmless fun when she’s doing other stuff. It’s just our little secret, remember, just something between you and I, it doesn’t affect anyone else.”

I guess I must have looked unconvinced, because she continued on.

“Look, I know you and her are in love, and all that, but you two had Lori with you as well, and that was fine. And I know that if Lori still wanted to, you would still have your threesome. I don’t really understand why I couldn’t be included, but I can accept that, anyway, you and I can still have some fun together, like last night, like today. I’m not going to say a word to anyone, and I’m not jealous that you and Cathy do things together, and all that.”

“And if you and Cathy break up, well, maybe you may want to have a more serious relationship with me; that would be good. But I know the pressures we all have with schoolwork and everything, so I guess I’m a bit like Lori. She didn’t want to ruin things, because of all the other things going on, well, same with me. I don’t have you as a proper boyfriend, that’s ok, but we can still have these times, just you and I, to have some fun, and enjoy each other’s company.”

“I guess so,” I said. “We can have fun together, nothing too serious though.”

Janelle laughed. “Ok, nothing serious. So I guess that rules going back to my place this afternoon for lots of fucking.”

“Did you have that planned?” I started to say, until I saw her face. “Ok, I guess that makes us even, I probably asked for that.”

“Well, if things were different,” she said softly, “I would love nothing more than to spend all afternoon – all day, actually – fucking you. But it’s not a good time right now, and I’m not on the pill or anything, so we couldn’t really do that. But I do think about doing that with you; I think about that a lot. And I know one day we will, I don’t know when, but we will, and I can wait. I need you, I need you to take me, but I can wait.”

We sat in silence after that, I wasn’t quite sure what to say, and maybe Janelle was a bit embarrassed about telling me her deep desires like that. But as the bus was leaving Avalon, she turned to me again.

“Look, sorry about being all heavy like that,” she said. “You know, what I said last, about what I dream about. I didn’t mean to tell you that, and, well, I just have all of these desires. But I’m not going to jump you or do anything, well, nothing like that. I just want you to be comfortable with me, and be happy that we can fool around a bit, just between us two.”

“That’s ok,” I replied. “I mean, I think I already knew how you felt about me, and all that. Let’s enjoy the day together, have fun, as you said, it’s just between us two, I just don’t want to hurt anyone; including you.”

Janelle smiled at me, and nestled back against my shoulder. We continued on, again in silence, but Janelle stroked my hand as she held it. There was something comforting just sitting with her, taking in the scenery, and feeling the presence of each other’s body. When the bus reached the terminus at Palm Beach, we walked across to the beach, took our shoes off, and walked across the sand. There wasn’t another person to be seen on the beach, and we walked towards the pool at the southern end of the beach.

The water in the pool looked clear and clean, and we sat on the edge, dangling our feet in the water. I rolled the legs of my jeans up, and Janelle hitched her skirt up, and we sat in the sun for a while.

“Too cold to swim, isn’t it?” she said to me.

“It sure is, it would really be brass monkey conditions,” I replied. “My prick and balls would shrivel up to nothing in that.”

“Oh, well, we can’t have that, can we,” she said. “I like them how they are. Do you know why they shrink when they get cold, anyway?”

“I have no idea, you’re meant to be the biology expert,” I replied.

“It’s something to do with temperature, keeping them warm enough,” she answered. “Your balls, I mean, sperm cells die if they get too hot or too cold. But why does your prick shrivel up too? That doesn’t make sense to me. Anyway, I know how to make him big again, and how to warm him up.”

I looked at her as she made motions of sucking my prick; making a circle with her hand and holding it in front of her mouth, while she opened her mouth wide, and bobbed her head up and down. I laughed at her actions, but it looked like she had the right idea of how to do it.

“God, you are rude,” I said to her. “What if your mother saw you doing that, she would be shocked!”

“No, she would probably tell me I was doing it the wrong way, or something like that,” Janelle replied. “You know what she told me the other night?” I shook my head. “She told me that when I turn seventeen, she will take me to the family planning clinic and get me on the pill. When I told her that I wasn’t having sex, she said that wasn’t the important point, but sometimes, you just don’t think ahead, and then it’s too late. She reckons seventeen is old enough to start taking it, by then a girl’s period is pretty settled and regular – mine have been for three years – and that way, if I decide to have sex, well, I’m safe.”