Chapter 1

It finally happened. Sarah called me.

We'd been emailing for years, off and on, and daily for the last two years. We seldom spoke on the phone, when we did it was me calling her, and had met for breakfast only a few times. Though we both enjoyed it, we never actually had been alone together for over 15 years. The situation dictated an arms length relationship. At least for her. I was more flexible in my outlook but it was how she wanted it.

She had a water emergency. As she described it, her water heater was burping hot water out of some open pipe, and she needed it seen to quickly. Since we'd just swapped emails, she knew I was home and available. By walking her through some things to look at, I was 99.9 sure the water heater relief valve had given up. About ten percent of the time it can be reset by pulling and releasing a little lever on it, to reseat the valve. Usually though, the valve seal has become brittle and one belch of hot water past it washes the seat washer out. The only fix is replacing it.

I told her how to shut off the water to the tank and said I'd be there in an hour or so to fix it. I quickly showered shaved then put on some light-work jeans and T, stopped at the Hardware store and picked up the parts. There's only two versions of the valve, so I bought both as it was easy to return the one not used.

After draining a few gallons from the tank, it was easy to pull the old relief valve, install the new one, and replace the down tube. Half an hour after walking into Sarah's modest but well kept ranch style house, I was done.

She asked me what she owed and I showed her the store receipt, pointing out the valve I'd used. A twenty came close and I told her to forget the small change.

"Well ... thanks for coming so quick."

'That's what she said.' Normally, with her, I'd have had that sort of ribald response to that. She knew I was highly sexual, that was and always had been a component of our 'net relationship. But since the environment was a little awkward, I just grinned at her and winked.

"So ... are you chasing me off?"

"Well, no ... not really ... I just figgered you had other things to do..."

"No, I don't ... and if I did I would cancel them."

"Well..."

"I'd just like to talk to you. There's things I want to say that just don't go over well in an email. About the Bad Old Good Old days and why things turned out like they did."

She looked uncomfortable and I expected that.

I laughed, because it was 'so ... HER' and I knew she'd try to head off the possibility of any rough spots.

"Look ... I just want to say what I've thought over the years. You don't even have to respond. I think I understand your viewpoint and why you like to keep things at arms length. Actually you've told me a few times."

I walked the few steps between us and hugged her ... then both my hands dropped behind her and gave her ass-cheeks a good squeeze. They felt good under the thin cotton shift she always wore around home. But I noticed something out of the ordinary, for her anyway. I knew she almost never wore panties and certainly never a bra around the house. I'd felt both in my brief groping. I decided not to mention I'd noticed that ... for now, anyway.

She laughed a bit nervously. But I felt her belly against me and her pelvic bone push gently on my upper thigh. I kissed her on the cheek and we broke apart. I took her hand and led her into the family room and sat her on one end of the sofa, myself on the other.

I looked her in the eyes, and probed a little. Just a little. She was very anxious about this, as I expected she would be. At the same time she was glad I'd stayed. I touched her anxiety center a little, just to calm her fears. One doesn't go further than that with a friend. I didn't want her to feel I'd influenced her thoughts and reactions in any way.

"First, I want to apologize for not meeting you for lunch or breakfast recently. There's a couple of reasons for that ... not just that I'm a 'scaredy-cat' and don't want people to see us together and get the right idea. You know I love you and you love me; the thing is that I would do anything to avoid humiliating the women in my life in any way. That goes for ALL the women in my life. But I do have to prioritize."

She started to say something but I held my hand up.

"The point is that I discovered when we first met up again that it's hard for me to keep my hands off you, and I also found out there was a ton of things I wanted to say to you. Things I really can't say properly in an email ... I need face to face to do that so I can judge whether or not I need to explain why I said what, and judge your reaction immediately so I don't leave you with misunderstandings or hurt feelings. But things I certainly can't say in a restaurant or any public place."

She gave me a puzzled look. "Why?"

"Because they are personal and might even sound stupid when I say them, that's why. And I want to be looking directly at you when I say them so I can tell if there's something I need to explain when I say them."

I chuckled at the thought of how it would look to others if I were trying to do that over a booth table; either like a gibbering child, a lovestruck teenager. Or an insurance salesman trying to close a deal on a whole-life policy.

"Mainly, though, I want to cover all the 'would'a, could'a should haves. I want to apologize where I think I need to, and tell you what I wish I'd done differently. It's not that I really wish I could go back and change those things, because who knows how things would have turned out ... just that now I know better, I wish I could have done those things with you. Without you, I would not have learned what I learned and I wouldn't have completed forming my love and respect for women."

I looked at her ... couldn't tell what she was thinking and I wasn't going to probe, either. I respected her too much to do that. But there WAS one thing that bothered me and I decided to act on it.

I put on a big smile to reassure her, then:

"While you are deciding whether you want to hear my 'confession', as it is ... go back and take off the bra and panties. You won't be needing any armor with me ... this time, anyway."

Her eyes twinkled, the corners of her mouth turned up in the faintest of humor, she got up and walked down the hall.

When she came back, she asked "Would you like something to drink?"

"Water's good."

She brought the drinks with ice and resumed her position on the other end of the sofa, curled up and facing me.

"So ... you don't quite trust me, huh?"

"No ... it's not you..."

I chuckled.

"Yeah, you don't trust yourself, right? Let me guess ... feeling the underwear would remind you to act properly and ladylike?"

She colored a little... "Yes, I suppose so."

"So, if I groped you and you weren't wearing them, you'd be tempted to just lie back and let me have my way with you... ?"

She didn't answer. I could tell she was not liking the idea of where this was going.

"Look, sweetie ... I like the idea that you would be tempted to get down and dirty. I want you to think like that. But you're forgetting that we are full grown adults and over the years we acquired some discipline."

There was a question on her face but she didn't say anything.

"Put it this way ... the one thing I haven't changed in my character is that 'Don't' and 'No' still mean 'No'. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded.

"And even if I think you want me to get up close and personal, I'll still think about it and do what I think is right for both of us. Is that okay?"

"The point is, like I said before, I agree with you on our relationship. But that doesn't mean we can't have some fun. We just have to get past playing the usual game and start acting like seniors who have been there and done that. 'THAT' being having played these games before."