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Copyright© 2013 by Banzai Ben
Flashback – Ben – Leaving Moscow
I encountered a few other checkpoints on the way to my first Chechen bastard and the actions of the soldiers staffing them were all the same - they acted like I was some sort of god. It was now daylight and I could see my ribbon rack better. I recognized the Hero of Russia award on it because I was a lucky bastard and had one of my own (to me it was the only medal I had that was worth a damn, the rest were pure bullshit), but what the hell was the one adjacent to it and how about the one on the top of the rack? (The higher on the rack - the higher the award) The topmost one was three yellow bars separated by two black bars with a small diamond in the middle the one adjacent to the Hero of Russia medal was more simple, it was two green bars separated by a yellow bar. When I found out what Yuri did to me I was going to kick his ass
I decided it was time for me to get out of my khaki military uniform (to ditch the fucking ribbon bar) and into something that was more suited for my mission. I stopped alongside the road, opened up the back of the козел and was shocked, Yuri and his comrades had outdone themselves and I temporarily repented of wanting to kick Yuri's ass. The back of the козел was expertly packed with anything and eveyrthing I could ever need. Hell, it was even labeled so I didn't have to rip through the bags to see what I had. I quickly found my BDUs opened the bag and found they were packed perfectly so they didn't get wrinkled. It was a hell of a lot better than when Jack packed - I always had to ride his ass to make sure he packed correctly and about half the time I repacked his kit when he was 'done with it'. These guys would have made a hell of a bunch of Marines!
I began to change into my BDUs (yeah, right beside the road behind the козел) when a car drove up and stopped behind me - way too close for comfort. It was cold and I damn near froze in my underwear as I fumbled in my khaki military uniform (which I had set in the back of the козел) for my sidearm, pulled it out and almost swore - it was a POS Makarov! Why couldn't they have given me a Tokarev TT-33. The Makarov was an anemic POS that fired the woefully underpowered 9x18 Makarov which wasn't even as powerful as the 9mm Parabellum (9x19). In contrast, the TT-33 fired the very potent 7.62x25 that kicked ass even against level III body armor. I made sure the occupents of the car saw that I had a pistol in my hands by holding it up then the door opened and out stepped a stunning woman in a dress so short it should have been illegal!
She shouted, "Hey soldier, do you need some company?"
Shit! I forgot that in Russia (unlike some other countries) soldiers were revered. I blushed like crazy and yelled back the truth, "Sorry, but I have a girlfriend in Moscow."
She laughed, staggered a bit (I quickly realized she was drunk) and answered, "Well she's in Moscow and you're here and I am here..."
I knew I had to do something to disuade her so I interrupted and insulted her, "Sorry, but she is much more beautiful than you."
She swore like a Russian sailor, "Тупой ебать членосос есть дерьмо и умереть!"
Dumb fuck cocksucker eat shit and die!
Well that was rude so I replied with, "Вы пьяны сука вокзал шлюха!"
You drunk bitch train station whore!
That had the desired effect as she got back into her car and drove off like her ass was on fire - damn near hitting me in the process, the drunk fucking bitch...
Flashback – Jack and Masha – In Moscow
Masha and Tatiana babbled like crazy in Russian then Tatiana left while Masha clued me in on their actions, "Jack, Tatiana has left to take care of inserting the records into Ben's chart and her action should correct the issue of the Major soon returning."
I replied, "I hope like hell this plan works, if it doesn't I'm fucked."
Masha grinned and answered, "Jack, of course it will work because I'm the only one who gets to fuck you."
Masha knew I liked it when she talked a little dirty, however I answered, "Masha, not right now and not on Banzai's bed - especially after what he and Tatiana have been doing in it. Besides I have Banzai's letter to read."
I opened up the letter and was confused because there was a huge wad of cash in it. I figured he would explain it if I read the letter. I read the letter and he apologized for leaving and not being here to be my best man at the wedding, but told me Yuri would be honored to stand in for him. He was also apologetic for leaving me with Major Mike but he knew I would come up with some way to keep from getting in trouble. I read the last part which confused the hell out of me so I looked at Masha and asked, "Masha, I didn't know you had a car, let alone that you sold it to pay off Elena. Why haven't I ever seen your car???"
What in hades did Ben do! He told Jack about my mythical car in the letter and now I had to try to lie to my Jack. I made sure to hide my surprise and answered, "Jack, I never showed you the car because it is so had to find parking in Moscow and the Metro and bus systems work well so I kept it in the garage."
He held up a big bunch of cash and stated, "Well Banzai gave us ten-thousand dollars to buy it back from whomever you sold it to and said if you needed more he would give it to you when he got back. Once Tatiana gets the chart fixed we need to contact that person before they sell it to someone else."
Твойу мат! I never thought Ben would do such a thing! Now I was in a delicate position with my Jack. I had a few hours to find a Citroen DS like the one I had lied about, make sure the owner would sell it to me and also ensure he would support my story.
I told Jack, "I will call him and tell him I want to buy it back, I hope he will sell it to me."
Jack was insistent, "Well, don't offer him all the ten-thousand at once. That reminds me, how much did you get out of it?"
I lied again, "I got five thousand dollars for it. Now I need to call him and see if he will sell it back to me. However, he was very happy with the car and he might not want to sell it."
Jack answered, "Well if he gives you any shit, let me talk to him."
That was the last thing I wanted! I pulled out my phone and called some of my workers to get busy locating the car and a seller who would support our story...
Flashback – Tatiana – In Moscow
I was very worried for my Ben once Masha made me realize how serious the offense was that he performed. I was sure he would end up in a Siberian gulag. Then Masha described her plan and it was brilliant but we had to act very quickly before the nasty Major arrived.
I didn't mention it because of my shock earlier with Ben being gone, but Ben left me ten-thousand dollars for Jack and Masha's wedding. I sure didn't understand where my Ben, on a Sergeant's salary, came up with all the money he had. But I knew with this amount of money, Jack and Masha would have one of the best weddings in Moscow. I needed to talk to the wedding planner after I finished doctoring Ben's chart.
I quickly went to see some of the doctors in the hospital that owed me some favors, yes I was going to do whatever it took (short of sleeping with them because that was reserved only for Ben) to make sure I had all the proper documentation affixed with the proper dates and times. One doctor was very compliant, the other of course wanted a horizontal favor from me, I informed him that his wife would be very interested to hear about some of his dalliances with many of the other nurses and he immediately created the needed documents. Now I needed to talk to some friends in the records department and have them insert the fake doctor's visits into Ben's computer history.
What I thought would be easy ended up being very difficult so I called Masha.
Masha answered the phone and I was shocked when she informed me, "Tatiana, Ben left money with the letter for Jack to buy back the fictitious car you told him about. Did he mention anything about this to you?"
I was secretly happy that finally Masha was going to have to deal with some of the same issues with Ben that I had to continually deal with. I truthfully answered, "Masha, of course he did not mention leaving the money to me because he didn't mention he was leaving. But with all the confusion of Ben leaving I didn't have time yet to tell you we chose the wrong car: Ben loves the Citroen DS, knew all about them and asked me many questions about your mythical car."
Masha scolded me, "Tatiana, you should have informed me immediately of this."
I was tired of her attitude so I challenged her statement, "Masha, pray tell when was I supposed to do this? I surely couldn't last night because you wanted to get me off the phone as quickly as possible so you could be with Jack and then with Ben's disappearing today I didn't even think about it."
The line was silent for a few moments and I was shocked when Masha agreed and apologized, "Tatiana you are correct, I did not allow you enough time last night and with all that has occurred today I am not surprised it slipped your mind. Now you need to remember exactly what you told him about the car."
I thought for a few moments but for the life of me I could not remember what I told him. I hesitated then told Masha, "Masha, I am sorry but I don't remember what I told him about the car."
Masha hissed under her breath and threatened, "Tatiana, you had better remember what you told him or Jack will discover the truth about our lie to Ben. And if he discovers the truth about the lie to Ben then he will not help you fix the problem of your big lie to Ben."
Well this wasn't turning out like I hoped, so I promised, "Masha, I will try my best to remember everything I told Ben about your mythical car, however while I'm doing that I need some help from you."
Masha questioned, "Tatiana what in hades is wrong now?"
I took a deep breath and explained, "I was able to get the falsified records from the doctors and of course was able to enter them into Ben's medical chart myself, however the records department refuses to create the falsified appointments in the computer calendar for the records. They know me here so I cannot pretend to be FSB however you have done that before and they will believe you."
Masha took a moment then replied, "Tatiana, I will be right down to take care of this however you need to remember all the details you told Ben about my mythical car."
I wasn't sure I could but I did not lie when I assured her, "Masha, I will try my best."
Flashback – Masha and Jack – In Moscow
I looked at Jack and said, "Jack, Tatiana has finished everything other than having the appointments fixed in the computer calendar system. They have refused to comply so I need to go to the records department and rectify this problem."
Jack gave me an unusual look I hadn't seen before and then he commented, "Don't tell me you're going to use the FSB ruse again."
I briefly thought of lying to him, but I had so many lies going right now it was hard to keep track of all of them so I confessed, "Yes Jack, that was my plan."
He gave me a worried look and stated, "Masha are you crazy? Acting like you were a FSB agent is what got you in trouble in the first place. I'm putting my foot down because I'm sure as hell not going to let it happen again."
I did not like Jack being so bossy so I countered, "Well then Jack, how do you propose we resolve this problem?"
He gave me the smile I always liked, waved the cash in his hand and explained, "I haven't found a problem that enough cold hard cash wouldn't solve."
I thought for a moment and quickly hoped, "Since we're using the money Ben gave us for the car, does that mean we are not repurchasing my car?"
Jack laughed and shot down my hopes, "Hell no, Banzai gave us this money for that specific purpose. However, for right now we are going to use part of this money to fix Banzai's computer records. I will replace that out of my savings."
I had no other choice than to agree and answered, "Okay Jack, we both need to hurry to medical records before your Major arrives.
We left Ben's room and headed to the elevator. I hoped Tatiana remembered the details of what she told Ben of the car soon. Now this was interesting, Jack was unusually silent so he must be thinking about something, I wondered what it was...
I was trying to figure out my finances and how in the hell I was going to pull off paying to get Banzai's hospital records fixed and then replacing the money spent out of the ten-thousand dollars Banzai gave us for the car. Unlike Banzai, who didn't really need his monthly Sergeant's salary, I was forced to live off mine and purchasing Masha's engagement ring and the other little gifts I had purchased for her put a huge dent in my budget. I hoped we could repurchase Masha's car for the five-thousand dollars she sold it for since that would leave me five-thousand dollars for the bribe which I was sure was enough. Hell, I actually hoped that one-thousand would be enough for the bribe.
We were in the elevator; Masha grabbed my hand and questioned, "Jack a kopek for your thoughts."
I laughed and lied, "Sorry Masha that I was so quiet, I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you for my fiancée."
She smiled at me, gave me a hell of a kiss that finished right before the elevator opened. We walked toward the records department and Masha cautioned, "Jack, make sure you conceal most of that money."
I grinned at her and said, "Masha, I know better than to let them see that much cash so don't worry."
We entered the records department asked to speak with the manager, were taken to his office and then...
Flashback – Major M – Headed to the Moscow hospital
I was thankful as hell to be off that god-forsaken hunk of ice called Thule - but even more thankful to be away from Colonel Maggie! That bitch made my life hell every day I was gone with constant drilling, inspections and studying. She loved making me run in the extreme cold weather gear with a full military pack while carrying a heavy as hell M-14. She purposely set the initial pace so high that I would work up a sweat and then slowed down so I would cool off and then damn near freeze to death in my own sweat. I also had to keep my gear stowed perfectly at all times (even when I was in the fucking shower); if I fucked up on any little thing, she threw all my gear (including the extreme cold weather gear) outside and then made me recover it. Since I didn't have the cold weather gear I would damn near freeze to death and the fucking ever-blowing wind would invariably blow my gear across half an acre or more. When she wasn't torturing me with drilling or inspections, she had me studying all hours of the day and night. I had to read and memorize most of the Marine manuals because the boney bitch would test me on them and if I failed then she made me serve KP duty. I was sick and damn tired of potatoes and if I never saw, peeled or ate another potato my life would be wonderful.
I don't know if you remembered, but the fucking Old Man made us share a room with fucking bunk beds and she of course had the top. Well let me tell you, the nights were the worst! If the horny boney bitch didn't find some hard up bastard to fuck her, she used her damn vibrator, and when I say used it, she used it like a fucking jackhammer. I couldn't sleep because of all the moaning and groaning and shaking of the bunk bed. I was sure the top bunk was going to crash down on top of me at any time. While she was getting her worn out snatch slammed, either by some hard up clueless bastard or her vibrator she shouted insults at me – things like now this is what a real cock feels like – or damn I'm glad I brought the vibrator because it can satisfy me, unlike your puny cock.