07 Home 2
Copyright© 2013 by Banzai Ben
Present – Ben – At the cabin in the bunker
As Destiny and I finish our MRE's she smiles and makes a comment which makes me feel good, "I can see why everyone loves your MREs so much. I thought it would be bland or unappetizing but it might be the best camping meal I've ever had, almost gourmet quality."
With the door open, it was my turn to gather some information on Destiny so I ask, "Do you camp often?"
Her answer is a relative surprise but also reinforces my feeling that she's an unreformed hippy chick, "Ben, I don't have a house, a home or even a place to lay my head and haven't for a very long time so yes, I camp almost all the time."
I look at her waist length blonde hair (and remembered how much I hated growing my hair longer as part of my disguise) and question, "Isn't it a pain in the ass keeping all that long hair clean?"
She answers, "Not really. I guess I'm blessed because I don't have oily hair. And I do like to camp by water if it's available so I can wash it frequently. But that reminds me, I do need to braid it for the night. If I forget to braid it, it's a pain in the ass combing out all the tangles in the morning."
She begins to braid her hair then obviously enters one of her trances, comes out of it and suggests, "Ben, you might want to connect to Jennifer again, she needs you more than ever."
Once again I wonder how the hell she seems to know all the things she knows, and I begin to wonder if she might actually be a Shaman. I reply, "I'm going to turn out the light and then I will connect to her."
I am thankful as hell I had the foresight to turn out the light because once I connect to Jens I can't stop the tears from flooding down my face – I'm fucked because she's dead!!!
Present – Maria – In the equipment room
My Princess Boss has really fucked up this time! Actually, that's not right because Liz and I fucked up and my Princess Boss paid the price for our fucking stupidity. I've stopped the bleeding again and put the chest tube back in but I'm still waiting for the blood and ... Son of a bitch! Because of her depleted blood volume, she's going into hypovolemic shock1. Yeah, she has many of the warning signs: She's unconscious, her skin is cool and clammy, her normal rosy cheeks are pale as hell, her respiration is fast and shallow, and her pulse is rapid, weak and thready."
1 Hypovolemic shock - Hypovolemic shock is an emergency condition in which severe blood and fluid loss make the heart unable to pump enough blood to the body. This type of shock can cause many organs to stop working. Losing about 1/5 or more of the normal amount of blood in your body causes hypovolemic shock.
I open her IV wide open and order Liz, "Jens is going into shock! We need to force the fluids into her. Squeeze the hell out of the IV bag and whatever you do don't let it run dry."
I continue, "Bernie, we need that blood like yesterday so move your ass."
I point and order, "Then get me the damn crash cart - it's right over there."
Amazingly, Ivan pushes the cart to me then he says something even crazier than his normal crazy shit...
Present – Jens – In the equipment room
One minute I'm in my body and the next minute – I'm flying above it again like that time in Germany. Somehow Ivan sees me, points right at me and says, "Donaldduckson Lady fly around the room like Angel Princess."
Maria barks at him, "Get the hell out of the way brat and let me do my job!"
I remember how much fun this was in Germany so I just get ready to fly out and see what the hell is going on when I feel Ben trying to connect to my empty body. OMG hell no! Ben thinks I'm dead! I'm shocked at the pain he feels when he tries to connect to me - I didn't think he still loved me!!! I rush back into my body, feel instant relief from Ben and then something ruins everything...
Present – Maria – In the equipment room
I don't know what the hell the fucking Ivan brat is talking about Jens flying around the room like an angel, but I do know her heart has stopped and she's stopped breathing. I grab the defibrillator paddles off the crash cart; flip on the defibrillator, gel the pads, set the charge to 100 and yell, "Everyone clear." And I zap the hell out of her.
I wait but the ECG on the crash cart still doesn't show a pulse so I crank up the level to 200, wait for it to charge and yell, "Clear."
This time my Princess Boss's pulse returns and Liz congratulates, "Great job Maria."
Ivan interrupts the accolades, "Donaldduckson Lady not happy you broke her connection with Unca Ben."
I swear and begin to give him chase, "I've had my fill of you, you mouthy little son of a bitch! I'm going to spank the hell out of you until you can't sit down for a week!"
For being a little brat, he's damn fast and small enough he can hide under things. I almost catch him under one of the tables when I hear my Princess Boss order, "Maria, if you spank Ivan you are fired."
I stop chasing the brat for now, head over to see my Princess Boss and she tries to explain things to me, "Maria, Ivan is correct. I was outside my body until Ben connected with me again, then I came back and your damn shocking of me broke the connection. You've been a hell of a girl Friday for me. However, if you and Ivan can't manage to get along with each other, you're going to have to leave."
I console, "Jens, you just worry about getting well and stop pulling out all your tubes."
Jens countermands, "Then no more fighting from any of you, Maria, Liz, Bernie and even Ivan."
Ivan promises, "I be good boy Donalduckson Lady and make you more pictures."
That makes me happy because he will be out of my hair. Bernie brings over the blood and I start the transfusion on my Princess Boss again. I look at Liz and suggest, "We really need to find some clean clothes for Jens and get her cleaned up."
Present – Mike (formerly Major and then Captain M) – At the hotel
I can't remember a time I've been more pissed off! This day has been worse than the time Glen sent me and Colonel Maggie to Thule together and assigned us to the same room. Damn, it's even worse than when I got blamed for Sgt. Blaine's shenanigans and was busted from Major to Captain. Just remembering how that happened reinforces my resolve to catch or kill that fucker and make him pay.
We finally reach the hotel. Two grunts had to carry me out of the Chinook on a stretcher because I busted up my backup wheel chair when I bailed out of the booby trapped Chinook. Things begin to go better as we approach the door because the concierge rushes out and says, "Here's your new wheelchair, Sir."
I snap an order, "Set the stretcher down beside the wheelchair."
The grunts manage to do that while almost tipping me off the stretcher. Then one of them asks, "Do you need some help, Sir?"
My fuse is short tonight so I lay into him, "Hell no I don't need any damn help! I've been doing this for years."
I twist sideways on the stretcher, pull the front of the wheelchair against my back, reach down with my hands and bend both my knees toward my chest. Then I reach as far back as I can and place both my hands on the side seat supports, push down with all my strength and slide into the new wheelchair. Once I position myself correctly, I reach down with my hands and put my feet on the foot plates then I try out the chair by doing a wheelie.
I complain to the concierge, "We will need to get the store that sold you this chair here first thing tomorrow morning to adjust the wheel bearings, and to also straighten the frame since it's slightly bent and doesn't track straight."
He answers, "Yes Sir. However, I'm sure I can get them here tonight if you need them."
The last thing I want is for anyone else to see me or smell me in my current condition so I order, "No, I don't want them here tonight, but do call them and have them bring me another chair like this in the morning. They can set both of them up the same."
He leaves, I look over and the grunts are still standing around so I bark, "What the fuck are you two still doing here? Don't you have something else to be doing?"
One of them answers, "Sorry Sir, the captain wanted us to ask when we should send the chopper for you in the morning."
I order, "Ten hundred and make sure you're not late!" The grunts take off like their asses are on fire and it feels good to be mobile again as I wheel myself into the hotel. Now to get rid of these clothes and take a long hot shower...
Present – Jack – In prison at the cabin.
After hearing Banzai's psychological warfare song, I realize it's time to make some plans so I command, "Everyone, move in closer."
It's hard as hell the way we are all chained together but everyone gets as close as they can, I whisper loudly, "If you can all hear me, raise your hand."
I look around the tent almost all the hands are raised except for a couple really old goats - of course they are also the farthest away from me. I point to the man next to them and continue, "Ask them if they have hearing damage."
He huddles them close to him and I hear him whisper my question, they all nod their heads so I decide, "What's your name?"
He answers, "John, Sir."
I want to fucking complain about the 'Sir' comment but decide I've been made the de facto commanding officer, whether I like it or not, so I order, "Okay John, you need to relay everything I say to them and let me know if they have any questions."
I look at everyone and begin, "Unless anyone else wants it, and I know there are some former officers here who are more than qualified, and since Glen is MIA, I am assuming command."
One of the officers raises his hand and I hope like hell he is going to take command but then he shoots me down when he states, "Jack, you've already done a hell of a job just keeping us from being shot. Plus with Banzai, your former sniper, here raising hell with the greenies I can't think of a better man to command this rag tag group."
Linus (the fucking bastard) kills any further hope of me being able to weasel out of this command, "Besides Jack, Jennifer put you in charge and even this tent is sort of Ben and Jennifer's cabin site."
I look at everyone, see hope in their eyes and I hope like hell I won't let them down. I take a deep breath and begin, "The first thing I'd like to say is I've never seen Banzai fight like this before. Usually we came into a place, killed them all and let God take those he wants. But he's being crafty as hell this time. Somehow he's figured out he needs to fight a guerilla war and tonight's opening salvo is a prime example of that. So we need to figure out ways that we can support his war without getting ourselves shot in the process. I am open for any and all suggestions."
The one officer interjects, "The tenets of guerrilla tactics are based on intelligence, ambush, deception, sabotage, and espionage resulting in the undermining of an authority through long, low-intensity confrontation. Because this is Banzai's property, the greenies are forced to play, as to say, in his backyard – so he already has superior intelligence. Tonight's actions by him have proven that he can mount successful ambushes and attacks. He has successfully avoided the attempts of the greenies to capture him so he is winning at deception. This leaves two parts where we can help, espionage and support of the local population – which in this case is us. However the killing of the Marine who refused to submit today proves that we need to be very wise and careful in how we perform these two functions."
Linus must catch the drift of things because he says...
Present – Linus – In prison at the cabin.
I figure out what the officer is saying so I clarify, "So, you're saying that we need to be passive-aggressive in our resistance?"
The officer agrees, "That's succinctly correct."
One of the men asks, "Speak in English because we need to know just what the hell are you suggesting?"
I gladly explain, "Passive-aggressive means that instead of openly defying a command or order, you find some way other than direct confrontation to achieve your results. There are many ways to do this and here are three of the most common methods: Procrastination, sullenness, and acting stubborn. You know, sort of how we already respond to orders by officers."
That comment gets everyone laughing (except the officers).
Jack raises his hand and interjects, "The biggest danger of being passive-aggressive is letting it go too far and becoming directly aggressive. I think we witnessed today how a directly aggressive conflict will be handled."
Masha raises her hand and suggests, "Many of us here have infirmities. Now would be an excellent time to use those infirmities in a passive-aggressive manner by moving more slowly or acting weaker than we are."
I provide additional things to think about, "We need to look for ways to force the greenies to do the work they want or expect us to do. For example, tonight we policed up the MRE pouches without being asked, why did we do that?"
One of the men interjects, "We did that because we're Marines not greenies."
That comment gets everyone laughing again so I wait until it dies down and finish, "Well, they sure as hell aren't treating you like Marines, so let's make them pay for treating you like this."
That gets a muted, "Hooooorahhhh!!!!" from the Marines
Jack finally says, "These are all good ideas that we can implement tomorrow. Knowing Banzai like I know him, he's going to keep that music going all night long which means two things: One the greenies won't be able to communicate with each other using their commsets, and two they aren't going to be getting much of any sleep tonight."
One of the Marines interrupts, "Well that's just great! Now we're going to have to deal with crankier than normal greenies."
We all start to laugh, Jack raises his hand and finishes, "Yes that's right, they will be on edge so make sure you don't push them over that edge. Now let's get some sleep so we're not cranky too."
One of the young guys adds, "And don't forget to sing or hum the song tomorrow."
Jack agrees, "Yeah, after they've heard it all night the last thing they are going to want is to hear us singing it..."
Present – Todd, Ira, Mira and Alex – At the cash
I waken and hear ... a song ... not just any song ... It's "Bad Things Happen To You" by Wednesday 13. I cough to alert everyone that I'm awake and then sign a comment, "I didn't know you were a fan of Wednesday 13."
Ira obviously (and strangely for her) states, "Todd, you are awake."
I can detect there have been some confrontations between the sisters when Mira taunts, "Ira, why did you vocalize the obvious?"
Ira sticks out her tongue (I marvel at times like this when they both act like children - albeit very deadly children) and replies, "My sassy sister, I was simply opening a conversation with Todd."
Alexi expresses himself and finally answers my initial question, "Todd, it is good that you are awake as I wish to express my gratitude for rendering aid to my sister Ira. The song you refer to is being transmitted on all the communication channels by Ben Blaine."
That information greatly interests me so I move in bed to become more comfortable and then sign two questions, "So Ben Blaine has arrived and I assume we are being used as hostages to try to trap him. Do you know who the commanding officer is?"
Mira informs, "His name is Mike..."
I rapidly sign an interruption, "Don't tell me that bastard is here! We're all in the worst danger possible!" I begin to move because I want to locate him and kill him. However my body does not cooperate so I moan in pain when Ira surprises me...
Todd, who I know to have saved my life, tries to locomotivate and moans in pain. I move closer to his bed (observing our beds are adjacent to one another), reach over, touch his arm, smile at him and offer, "Todd, if you are in pain my sister Mira can administer a powerful analgesic."
Todd signs in extreme agitation, "Ira, thank you for the offer. However, with Mike here I cannot afford to be incapacitated by pain relievers or by my current injuries. I notice they took my bow, knife and pistol, did they by any chance leave my pack?"
Alexi states, "Todd, they searched your pack however they only took the items they felt were weapons."
Todd with greater agitation signs, "Please bring me my pack immediately!"
Alexi fetches Todd's pack and when Todd opens his pack he signs, "They have totally messed up my pack - it will take me an hour to organize it again."
Then he holds up a container, smiles, sets it down and signs, "Good, they left it."
I pick up the container and upon investigation it looks like it contains herbs so I question, "Todd, why is this so important?"
I enjoy it as he smiles at me and signs, "Ira, this is the most important item in my pack. You will soon see once I have prepared it and we have both taken it. I promise you a most miraculous recovery."
I am slightly miffed and make a terrible face at Mira as she casts doubt at his assertions, "Todd, how can that be? My sister Ira and you are seriously wounded. It will take many weeks until you are fully functional."
Thank God he ignores her and instead he signs a question, "Alexi and Mira, I assume that both of you retained some weapons?"
I smile and answer, "My sister Ira and I have retained our tessens."