Chapter 1: Moira

Prologue:

I was a 43 year old married housewife, with two sons and a daughter, when my new life began. The eldest of the two boys, Ian, was named in honor of my big brother, and my daughter, Fiona, after my mother. Ian and Fiona are 20 year old twins, and their brother, Sean, is the family baby at 17. My husband, Richard, will be 49 next month, and by the way, my name is Moira. As you may appreciate, all of us, except my husband, Richard, are very Celtic. Yes, we're descendants of Scottish immigrants; by my grandparents on my mother's side, and Irish on my father's side.

As I have mentioned, I have a big brother, Ian, three years my senior, married, and with one son soon to be 19, if I remember correctly. He's married to a hussy, oh, excuse my French, to a good for nothing wife, who luckily lives five hundred miles away and unfortunately is my husband's sister, ergo my sister-in-law; I also have, we also have better said, Ian and me, two younger siblings ten years my junior who can be considered the children of my parents' old age, and they are also twins. My family is big on twins, as you can see.

Our parents have a medium-size dairy farm on which they, besides providing the feed for their cows, harvest corn and other crops and fresh veggies to sell at the town market. We come from a small community in the middle of the big plain fields of Kansas, New Gotland is the town's name, and my husband, Richard, works in the sheriff office of McPherson County. My big brother, Ian, is an Agronomist, and went west to work for a big multinational agricultural company, and our family, as a whole, would meet only two, three times a year, and even then, not every year, on my parents' birthdays (both are in May), maybe at Thanksgiving, and at Christmas.

We used to get together at least six to eight times a year when we were younger and just married, but what with the passage of time and each family's obligations, such family reunions dwindled, and with luck, as I said, the whole family got together at least two or three times a year.

Just to let things be known, I should tell you before continuing with the story, that I was married, but not happily. On the contrary it was, at least to me, a hurtful marriage. I was married because I got pregnant 20 some odd years ago when I was in my second year in college, and Richard thought it was his duty to make an honest woman of me, ha, ha, ha, and my dad's shotgun also helped convince him, of course.

Our sex life had gone from bad, to nonexistent over a long time, but hurtful to me; we slept in the same bed because I was afraid doing otherwise, it was easier for my husband who didn't want to be giving explanations to the whole family, and that was all the romance I got from life.

A — Siblings

We always were very close, my brother, Ian, and me. It started as early as I could remember when we were toddlers playing in the mud together, taking baths together, and running around in the park by the house. We went together when I was old enough to go to school, and he being older always took good care of me; you could say I had a crush on him. I felt lost without him when he went to high school, so we were always hanging out together when I caught up with him in high school. We always managed to find time to talk and hang out when we could, even when he was in college and I was ready to graduate from high school. If anyone asked me, I would tell them I loved my brother, of course. I mean doesn't every sister? Then it happened.

It was one summer day before I was going to start college. I had just turned 18 a few weeks before, after formally graduating from high school; I was nervous about what it would be like to be in college and about guys my age. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about it because my big brother would be there, and he would look after me as he did many times before. Then I did what was usual for me.

We were alone in the house early that evening; Ian was in his room feeling sorry for himself about the end of his two year relationship with his girlfriend. So, as I usually did when we were kids, I ran up the stairs to my brother's room to try to get him off of what I thought must be his loneliness and boredom. I threw the door open without knocking first, and barged in. "Ian, can I talk with you about co..." and to my surprise, I found him with his pants on the floor and with his hand working very hard on a very hard dick.

The deafening cry was one of outrage and shame, "Holy shit, Moira, how many times have I told you to knock before coming in, don't you know how to knock on a door? " he shouted, as he scrambled to pull the bedspread over him.

"What the hell do you want this time, couldn't I have some privacy in this house?"

"Oh, Ian, I am really sorry. I didn't know, I didn't think, and, and ... I truly apologize," I said and couldn't help burst laughing at the sight of the tent in his bed mattress.

I loved my big brother because she wasn't like the brothers of other girls I knew from high school who are pretty nasty, humiliating, and sarcastic to their little sisters and their friends most of the time. Unlike them, Ian had always been my protector and mentor, and had supported me in so many ways while we were growing up. He was just out of his junior year at the state university and had turned 21 only a couple months ago.

"I just wanted to keep you company and talk to you about me in college and stuff." I went over and sat on the edge of the bed." Ian, I'm truly sorry I walked in like that, but don't feel bad that I saw you. Everybody does it, even me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, but you have to learn that there is something called privacy, and you can't barge in like it's nothing when a door is closed."

"I know, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. The only thing I can think about is how you must feel now that your girlfriend is out of your life. I assume you guys had sex since you'd been going steady for two years," I said, trying to calm him down.

"We broke up just after her prom a few weeks ago, and I have needs..." then his voice trailed off.

"Damn," I said, "I know you must really be hurting, no pun intended, but you'll be dating someone else soon. You're a pretty cute guy for a brother, you know."

He smiled at that, "So, Sis, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, nothing important; do you want me to come back later so you can finish what you were doing?"

"No, no, that's OK. I'm not in the mood now anyway."

I took a deep breath before starting, "As you know, I'll be going to college next year and I wanted to know just ... well, just how things work, you know..."

He was smiling like a jerk, "So you want to know about professors, class materials, courses, class schedules, and all those topics?"

"Don't be so dense; you know very well what I want to know."

"That being?"

I slapped him in the leg over the bedspread, "Such as how the interaction between girls and boys and such is."

"Oh, you mean if you'll be able to fuck and such..."

At this point I was already fuming, He was pulling my leg and I could do nothing about it. He had the information I would need to not make a fool of myself.

I'm sure he saw the expression on my face; I was about to explode.

"OK, OK" He said trying to calm me down, "I'm not so sure about that, Sis. But I know that there will be so many boys after you when you get to school in the fall, you'll have to beat them off with a stick."

"You think so? You think I'm cute?"

"Hell Sis, I'd be the first to be after you if you weren't my sister."

I felt my face getting redder by the moment, and my head was getting giddy with his words, "Oh, come on, you can be serious, Ian."

"But I am, and I think I should tell you how things work there. Well," he said. "You're going to have a lot to learn in college besides your course work, and that's because a lot of those college boys are way ahead of you in experience, sexual experience."

"But I'm not going to fall in love..."

He looked at me as if I were stupid, "Who's talking about love? I'm talking about sex, like in fucking."

"But I'm a virgin, and always thought about keeping my maidenhood for my husband.

"He looked at me again as if I were from another planet, "OK, Sister, you can do that if you want, but I'm telling you right now it will be a very boring four years for you when everyone knows you're not available and the boys give you the cold treatment."

"So you're implying that I should become a slut?"

"Oh, for God's sake; I never said anything about being a slut, I'm only saying that you should give it a try if you find someone you like."

"Just like that?"

"No, not just like that. I will say that most of the girls I met in my freshman year were pretty ignorant about sex, and that's why I worry about you. I'd hate to think that boys are going to think you're some neo-virgin who doesn't know her way around."

"What about you, were you were considered a naive boy?"

"Well, yes, and that's why I don't want you to suffer. Ellen and I were sexually involved, that's true, but it wasn't..."

"Do you mean Ellen from home?" I was flustered and didn't know why.

" ... something that either of us had considered as permanent. Truth is, I've had a dozen sex partners since I've gotten to college, and one of them was an older woman professor. Of those, she was the one I've learned the most from, well at least most what I know."

"Wow, a professor." My face must have reflected my surprise and wonder, because suddenly my brother started laughing.

"That's right, little sister, woman professors are also women."

"I'm not so little, I'm already eighteen."

"That's right, and that's why I'm telling you what you're going to find at college."

"OK," I said, "We're together on this, but don't ever tell a thing to Mom and Dad."

"Right, the first thing you must know is how to protect yourself once you've lost your maidenhood to some lucky fellow. The campus medical center sells birth control pills to girls over 18 on a don't ask, don't tell, basis, and you should start taking them as soon as you get there. Still, since I don't know how reliable they really are, you should consider the other option."

My eyes were bugging out of their sockets. "What other option?"

"Are you that naïve, Baby? Listen, it's getting late, and Mom might be coming home soon. Consider this as sort of an introductory lesson, and we'll begin your real education when Mom and Dad head up to their friends' house on the shore this weekend."

I nodded. He kissed me on the cheek, and said, "Holy shit; who would have thought, when you were just learning to walk and I used to help Mom give you your bath all those years ago, that I would be teaching you how to use your little cunt years later."

"Ha, ha, ha, you wish that was true," I said, as he sniggered and I turned and sashayed to the door, wiggling my cute little ass. Each day until Saturday seemed like it was forty eight hours long. I was still struggling with the notion that my big brother and I were going to be friends with benefits, not in the biblical sense, mind you, but very nearly. When I now thought about our budding relationship, that expression wasn't even mentioned almost twenty five years ago.

Our parents left for the shore about nine Saturday morning. I stayed in my room. I wasn't even sure if Ian was still going to follow through with our plan and I was starting to think that it maybe wasn't such a good idea; maybe it would be better to let things go their own way until I went to college and saw how things were there.

I heard a knock at my door around ten o'clock, and when I said 'come in', the door opened and Ian appeared with a little grin, and said, "Good morning, Class. Are we ready for our first lesson in Sex-Ed today?"

He came in, sat on my bed, took my hand, and put it on his crotch over his pajamas. I felt something nice, warm, and firm. I squeezed it a little and let my fingers play with it; something was becoming firm and erect.

"Oh, what a naughty student you are to get so fresh with your teacher," he laughed. With that, he took off his tee shirt and sat there bare-chested.

"I thought," he said, "That we should begin with something you seemed to know nothing about for our first lesson, based on our earlier discussions, but it's so important if you want to be a real success with the boys. The way is to give good blowjobs."

I was astonished, utterly unbelieving, "You mean like, like ... putting that ... in my..."

"Yes, my dear sister, a blowjob is sucking a boy's penis with your mouth; it has its benefits, of course, because you'll want to be given the same treatment and believe me, it's very pleasurable when done well."

"But ... but ... I don't think I could do something so dirty." I tentatively asked my brother, "Have you done it, I mean have girls done it to you?"

"Yes, my love, I've done it and had it done to me, and I assure you that it's wonderful, both to the doer and to whom it is done to."

"But I have never done anything like that, and I'm not sure I can ever do it."

He nodded and said, "OK, you're right. We've all been first-timers." Then he stood up and pulled his pajamas and shorts down, and kicked them to a corner. He stood there stark naked, with his magnificent cock right in front of my face. I blushed and started shaking. My own brother was totally nude, only inches from me.

"It works much better if we both have our clothes off," he said, as he bent over and pulled my tee shirt over my head. Then he knelt down in front of me and pulled my panties off. My pussy was already wet, and he smiled seeing that I was ready for my first lesson. "You'll get used to being with a naked man this way."

"Are you going to make me suck it" I asked, shaking like a leaf. "Later," he grinned, and seeing as I was terrified, said "Don't worry, I'm joking. You have to pay attention to teacher right now."

"We'll use my finger, or we can use yours, if that makes you more comfortable."

With that, he scrambled up onto my bed, puffed the pillow up for my head, and sat in front of me Indian style, with his legs crossed; his hard penis was straight as an arrow with its tip pointing to the ceiling; my vaginal lips felt a little moist, but nothing more. The rest would come later.

"Now, give me your middle finger; I'm gonna start explaining the facts of life to you. You take the boy's or man's penis like this, and..."

He explained the basics of a good blowjob to me. He took my finger and started licking around the tip with his tongue, then he slowly took it and put it in his mouth, sucking at it like it were a bar of candy, moving it inside his mouth then he took it out and licked the finger from the tip down to the palm of my hand and back up several times. He put it in his mouth again when it was covered with spit, and returned to the sucking and licking.

I was getting hot and was squirming in my bed by then, with my vagina getting wetter by the second; the performance my brother was making with my finger was a very erotic, and my mind went blank at that moment.

Ian suddenly took my finger out of his mouth, and looking me directly in the eyes, said, "Your turn to practice; take my finger and show me what you learned." He extended his right hand, with his middle finger rigidly outstretched near my mouth.

I was nervous as I took his hand with mine trembling; I had never done anything so kinky, so weird, so exciting, or so thrilling. I was going to simulate giving a blowjob to my big brother; truth is that it was only his finger I was going to suck; truth is that it was only make believe, but I found the situation stimulating none the less. There we were, both of us naked on my bed, both sexually over-stimulated if his rampant erection and my wetness were any kind of proof.

We profoundly looked into each other's eyes and something, some kind of thunderbolt, went from one to the other; his penis was trembling and jerking with every heartbeat, my pussy was leaking something white and viscous, as a strong scent wafted up. He seemed to wake up from a deep sleep, shook his head as if to get out of a deep trance, softly took his finger from my hand, and getting up from the bed, said, "I think we better finish the lesson some other day," and he quickly exited the room.

B — The breakup of a sibling's relationship

We never finished the lessons on how could I become an expert on girl/boy relationships in college. We didn't meet alone again, and it took almost all summer for us to feel comfortable with each other again. Something in our relationship had subtly changed; I didn't know what it was at the moment, and I'm sure Ian also didn't know what had happened. It was a weird feeling; we were more united mentally than ever before in our lives, and we were uncomfortable when we were together alone at the same time. This sensation slowly disappeared with the passage of time, and our relationship was almost completely normal well into my first semester at college. We started to go out and spend time together again, so much so that some people made malicious comments about us, about how much time we spent together, or about the effort I always made to see him. But we were just really close. I suppose they were just jealous. That was just the way it was with us, we loved each other and liked to be together.

I always thought he was a handsome guy and it was a surprise to me that he never dated anyone steadily again. I figured he was just holding out for the right girl, and I didn't blame him. There were a lot of tramps out there. In my mind, I romantically thought whichever girl my brother wound up with would be the right one for him, and he had time to avoid making mistakes. When it came to these sorts of things, I thought timing was really everything, after all. Life has taught me just how wrong I was.

I found myself with no more classes one evening. My Chemistry 101 professor was sick, so got to leave early, and on the spur of the moment, I decided to drop in on Ian at his dorm before going to mine. I had been there a few times, so I knew my way around the buildings. I made my way through the campus toward his dorm after parking the car. The college was always full of people, and I figured Ian would probably be out with friends, but maybe I could catch him, drink a soda, and chat. I felt very 'college girl' that night wearing a white tank top and black skirt, with a pink band in my hair.

The truth was, one reason I went to see my big brother at his dorm was to check out the guys, his acquaintances that I would meet in the next year. High school boys had been mostly immature and I figured the older boys in college would be a little more mature. I wasn't much for dating, and I knew all about intercourse, of course; anyone living on a farm learns about it at an early age.

I slipped into the door of the building as a couple was coming out, went up the three flights of stairs, and made my way to Ian's room. I always liked to sneak up on him whenever I could, mostly at home, of course, so when I came to his door, I checked the handle to see if it was unlocked. It clicked open and I darted in with a big grin.

My smile froze on my face at the picture suddenly before my eyes; my brother, my playmate, the confidant to whom I had told things that not even my best friend knew, was naked in bed having sex with a woman. The woman turned her head at the sound of the door opening and saw me in the doorway. She uttered a cry of terror at the intrusion and tried to disengage my brother from above her.

With her cries and the scandal, my brother who didn't understand what was happening, turned his head in the door's direction, and I saw the look of surprise and the glassy stare he had in his eyes, before I turned and slammed the door shut. I had stopped him in the middle of coitus. If there ever was one, that was really a case of 'coitus interruptus'.

Our relationship changed dramatically from then on; we were no more siblings, companions, and accomplices; something had broken inside me that day. I didn't know what or why, I only wanted to have nothing to do with Ian, I went back home and entered a stage of alternating rebellion and depression that my parents didn't understand. When my brother came back home at the request of my parents, who didn't know was wrong with me and didn't know what to do, and he asked me what was happening with me, I just told him to fuck off and never talk me again. Silly of me. I went back to college, where I had lost a semester, and my mind was made up. If he could fuck, so could I, and it was then that my short wild spree started. Everything went wrong, and I now didn't have a big brother to advise me or keep me out of trouble. It was a short spree, because when Richard, a student I knew from our hometown who was a jerk, asked me to go drinking and dancing at a place where I would see and be seen by Ian, I told him yes to annoy my brother.

That party was a nightmare. Ian was there with a couple of his friends and girls, and his expression went sour when he saw me with Richard, and he didn't remove his eyes off me all night. I acted very crazy, and the more he looked at me, the crazier my behavior became. Not being accustomed to hard drinking, I was completely drunk by midnight, making a spectacle of myself to the screaming and cheering of the place crowded with students. My brother had left the place before midnight, so he didn't see me at my worst; but I'm sure the people he was there with and who didn't leave with him had to tell him everything with plenty of details.

My head was throbbing like mad, and my headache was so painful that it could be registered in the Guinness Book of Records the next morning. It was the same the next Saturday, only this time my brother got up and left the premises as soon as I got in the club. It was a rowdy night again and I was considered a slut by the end of the month.

I lost my virginity to Richard, and as luck would have it, my period went missing after only three copulations. That sobered me up in a hurry, and I knew I was in deep shit when my period didn't arrive for the second month in a row. I was so afraid of what Ian would do, tell, or think of me, that I didn't even think of asking him to help or to advise me. I didn't and our lives were tattered.

I went home and confessed to my parents what their stupid daughter had done with her life. My father went to talk with Richard's parents and explained the hard facts of their son's and his daughter's life in college to them. Richard's parents went to talk to him and asked him to get married and give a name to their grandson. Richard adamantly refused to throw his life away—his own words—for a stupid girl who didn't even know how to take care precautions not to get pregnant with a brat. It wasn't his problem, he said; he wasn't in love, wouldn't marry me, and that was all.

My father didn't agree with Richard; he was old school and he had always thought that if you put your dick in any woman's pussy and she becomes pregnant, that it's your obligation to take care of the mother and child. So he took his twelve gauge two barreled shotgun, put it in his truck, went to the town where the college is, waited for him, and convinced him to marry me or else, one late evening. We married and I wished I had remained a single mother after a few months.

C — The gap between siblings widens

Ellen, my husband's sister and double sister-in-law is one year younger than me, so I have known her well since before school. She had had always a streak of envy towards me. Everyone knew her as we grew up together in a small town before and after we left for college. Well, everyone knew everyone else in town. Ellen worked at the ice cream shop in town after class and during summers. It was one of those old-time family-run establishments, and in her case, served her parents as a way to keep her lazy self-occupied. I always thought she hated me because my big brother was always there for me, while hers didn't give a damn what happened to her. It had always been like that. She was a quiet enough, cute girl, if you like insipid blondes with insipid faces; those kinds of faces that don't say anything to you when you see them. She later became colorful and showy, without being beautiful when she was growing up through her teens and afterward; the kind of woman most men like to marry. I didn't think my brother would be one of them, and knowing what I know now, I see that I was right and he was wrong.

With my reckless behavior in college and my foul ways with my brother, I ruined not only my life, but his also. I got pregnant and it was only my ego that was bruised at first, and my whole body was bruised after a few months into my marriage. My soul sank when he, my brother, married the little tramp. I just couldn't forgive him his betrayal but then, betrayal to whom? I was his sister, married to his brother-in-law, whom was he betraying by marrying Ellen? I thought it was my hormones taking possession of my mind and driving me insane at that moment.

As I said, after my brother graduated, got a job with a big agribusiness, and immediately married the big slut, the vixen, the bitch, and went west to work, she went with him of course, not to work as she was the lazy one, but to live off and ruin him. How do I know most of this if we hardly talked to each other; by hearing my parents talk about it, or directly asking my mother about my brother's life.

Now that I think things through the passing of time, I never even loved my husband; I mean I was never 'in love' with him. He was only an accomplice on my short wild days at first, and that was because I knew him from our hometown since we were kids. I had never suspected him to have such a nasty, violent, unpleasant, and dangerous nature.

I always knew something was missing in our lives, Ian's and mine. We were both married, we both have children, and no matter how rough the times at our homes were, we never discussed divorce, not with each other, of course, as we were on just civilized speaking terms, but also not with our respective spouses, or even in a whispered comment to our parents.

Now that I know we never were 'in love' with our spouses, worst of all, we apparently never ever loved them, not even as a friend. We not in love and I force myself to ask the question 'why did we continue to be married for so many years?' I know my own answer; I was afraid, deadly afraid of my husband, but Ian? What made him live with a woman who only wanted his money and all that that money brings, and foremost, make his life as miserable as she could.

I had seen her doing that to Ian in front of the whole family; I can't even say her given name, that shrew, that harpy woman who always had something to complain about, making her own son blush with shame at family gatherings. My brother always looked at her with grief and disregard at those times, and I had seen her own son tell her to shut the fuck up and take his father by the shoulders and take him out of his mother's whining presence. I felt embarrassed when seeing and hearing how that mare, that whore, that shameless hussy, disparaged my brother during those times.

We didn't know it at the time, but things were on their way to getting resolved; not from one day to the next, but they would be resolved, and the solution was to come from the old country, one of our ancestor's countries. It had been a long time since the whole family was reunited, but it was a special occasion; a lawyer had come to our parents' home with a request from a Scottish solicitor. This is the beginning of our new story.

All my parents' offspring, their respective spouses, small and adult children, were coming to our parents' home during Thanksgiving week. Before dinner one night, my father asked us to gather in the dining room. Once there, he told us he had received a call from a lawyer who had received a letter from a solicitor in Scotland, the old country.

In the letter, father said, the Scottish lawyer made a request on behalf of his sick and with little time to live client, one Sean McIllroy, that some family from America, the only one he has, go to his town and distribute his belongings according to he law and the terms of his last will, as soon as possible. Mr. McIllroy was ninety four years old, so time was short.

Father broke the silence, "OK, boys and girls, what do you say, what do we do?"

We suddenly started talking all at once, and instead of having a civilized conversation, there was a cacophony of noises where no one understood anything that the others were saying or trying to say. I swiftly looked over to where Ian stood, separated from the rest of us with a drink in his hand and a sardonic look on his eyes.

"Boys, girls; please speak one at a time, so that we know where everyone stands on this matter," Father said, trying to put some semblance of order in the discussion.

My husband, Richard, was the first to talk, "First of all, who's the old fellow; I mean I know he's family, but I have never heard of him before."

"OK, Mom, you tell them, he's family on your side," said my father.