Chapter 4

"It's just that I feel so dirty and degraded. I don't know if I want this." Simone started crying for the third time since she had come to Dr. Ryan's office. She had detailed how her husband had 'fucked her face', as Dr. Ryan referred to the incident and how she had masturbated after he walked off. She tried in vain to make Dr. Ryan understand how degraded and used she felt by her husband's treatment of her.

"I understand how you feel Simone. I am asking you to think about the total experience. When you described last night, you spent almost as much time describing your orgasm as you did describing getting your face fucked. What I am saying is that you need to get past the standard feeling and conceptions about sex and think about what you are obviously finding stimulating." Simone was staring at Dr. Ryan's shoes. They were impractical five inch heels, but beautiful nonetheless. Trying to calm her sobbing, her counselor's voice drifted in and out of her mind. She snapped out of her haze, hearing "Simone, look at me when I am speaking to you!"

Simone wanted to protest that she was a client, and it was not right for her to raise her voice. Instead she looked up and said, "Yes Dr. Ryan, I am sorry."

"I want you to follow this logic with me, so pay attention. You had a powerful orgasm last night, correct?"

"Yes, I did."

"And powerful orgasms come from enjoyable sexual stimulation, correct?"

"Yes"

"And you felt that the sexual stimulation you received yesterday was degrading, correct?"

"Yes, but..."

"Don't interrupt!"

Again, Simone wanted to jump up and protest, to tell this woman that she worked for her and she could not scold her like a child. Looking into those cold gray eyes, she could only say "I am sorry Dr. Ryan. Yes, I felt degraded last night."

"In addition, you freely admit that not only was the sex afterwards was the best you ever remember having, but you felt desire at the thought of having his cock in your mouth. Given all these facts, the only conclusion that can be reached is that you enjoy being sexually degraded, isn't it?" Simone hesitated, trying to look away. Finally, she looked up at her marriage counselor, a woman she had only known for a few days and sheepishly said, "Yes, I enjoy being sexually degraded."

Simone noticed a look of almost satisfaction on Dr. Ryan's face as she hopped off her desk. Clapping her hands together she declared, "Well then, I guess we are making break-through faster than I expected." She turned quickly, and Simone found herself once again struck by the woman's elegant form, much thinner and delicate than her own, as the doctor's hips swayed back and forth as she walked back around her desk. She preferred her own more curvy form, in particular her full breasts, which she also knew were Henry's favorite part of her body.

"Now I want you to understand, there is nothing wrong with these feelings you have. On the contrary, many women find that they are turned on when a lover dominates or degrades them sexually. You are in fact quite lucky to be a sexual match to your husband."

Looking in shame that the floor, Simone said, "I don't feel lucky, I feel like a dirty slut".

"Simone, I believe I told you to look at me when we speak." Simone looked up at this, the shame now making her face red. "The problem you have is based in your prudish behavior, the same behavior that has put your marriage at risk. You are lucky because you are a dirty slut, not despite it. Specifically, you are lucky because you have a husband who wants exactly what you have to offer. The sooner you embrace this fact, the sooner you will find the happiness you deserve. Now I want you to pay attention to me. Look into my eyes as I tell you this."

Reluctantly, Simone whispered in reply, "OK."

"No! Look at me while I am speaking to you."

Looking into her counselors cold eyes, Simone repeated. "OK."

"I think we have gotten very far in this session. Now, I believe you said Henry would be out tonight with a client. I suggest that you call him and ask permission to wait up for him. If he accepts, spend the afternoon thinking of a simple way to make sure that when he arrives in his home, it is clear that you are available to help him relax, available to serve him."

"Yes, I understand. I think that is a good idea."

"When you make this offer, Mr. Rand will likely see an opportunity open up in front of him. Smart, powerful men like him always see the options in front of them. He will take advantage of whatever he thinks he can get away with. I want you to repeat after me now. I will let my husband do whatever he wishes tonight without complaint. I will spend the night serving him without regard to my own pleasure or pain."

Pausing for only a moment, Simone repeated "I will let my husband do whatever he wishes tonight without complaint. I will spend the night serving him without regard to my own pleasure or pain."

"Well then, I think our session is over. Run along now." With that, Dr. Ryan picked up the phone and began dialing. Simone stood and walked off, dismissed like a child.

Once in her car, Simone quickly dialed her husband at the office. She heard him close the door to his office as he greeted her, and then in a lowered tone he said "Listen, Honey, I want to apologize for last night. I got carried away, I should never have gotten so rough with you and I shouldn't have called you a slut."

"Henry, do you think I am calling you to get an apology? You don't have anything to be sorry about. I had a good time last night. I was just calling because I knew you would be having dinner with a client tonight, and I wanted to know if you minded if I waited up for you."

There was a long pause, before Henry replied in a slow voice, "Sure, you can wait up for me." There was another pause, then "you're really not upset?"

"Of course not, I asked you to help me learn to suck your wonderful cock and a little rough stuff is fun sometimes." After hearing no response, she said "Listen I know how busy you are, I just wanted to be sure I wasn't going to be a pest tonight. I will be waiting by the door when you get home."

"OK, see you tonight Honey, I love you."

Tearing out the parking lot, she headed straight downtown to a shop she had seen before, but never would have walked into prior to today.

Hearing her husband's car finally pull up to the house, Simone rushed to the front door as fast as she could on her new black five-inch heels. They weren't like the ones she had bee admiring on Dr. Ryan earlier in the day, but those were part of the inspiration in getting them. She wanted to learn to walk in much more feminine shoes, especially with that sexy sway Dr. Ryan had. These were cheaper in look. Not trashy, but cheaper in a way that went with the rest of her outfit.