The Spirit Lives On
Chapter 2

Copyright© 2013 by R.J. Shore

Colin sauntered slowly through the peace and serenity of Princess Park, an undisturbed yet open green space that reminded him of the large meadow on his own homestead, one that bordered the river where his father lay in final rest. It felt good to be away from all the noise and activity of large crowds, and gave him time to sort out some of the confusion in his head.

Brianna. Even in her own element, she was the same insolent woman he'd met months earlier. Her greeting, when he'd first knocked on their door, had been friendly, yet still stand-offish. He'd expected some kind of false show from her, and had received just that. The person that she'd shown him was someone he could do without in his life, very easily.

And then, there was BethAnn. Like her friend and roommate, she, too, had changed, but he'd seen that happening between the first time she'd come into his life and when they'd left. He found her almost irresistible, even more now than when she'd first crawled into his bed during those first days when the two women had gotten themselves stranded. He'd been a little uncomfortable at first, having a strange woman sharing his bed like that. But through that first night, she'd worked her way past his fears, and into a special place inside him.

He'd been sad when they'd left, of course. Not so much because he'd have to suffer with a cold bed again, but because someone that had arrived as a stranger had become a friend, then a lover, but had threatened to become nothing more than a memory, albeit a warm one. He'd watched the little car disappear down the gravel road, out of his sight, and with it, the two of them out of his life. Despite the rocky start they'd had, the two had become ... well, friends, for lack of a better term.

As much as it frightened him to admit, BethAnn had become more than just a friend, and not because they'd shared a bed. Sure, he'd loved the things she did to him, the way she teased and fired up his senses, and how she made him feel inside. She'd shared more than that with him, though. He'd shown her where he lived, both physically and spiritually. He'd taken her to places on the homestead that no other human being, with the possible exception of his father, had ever seen. He'd explained their significance to her.

And she'd listened. Really listened, not only to the message from his lips, but from his heart, too. She'd opened up a portion of her very soul, embracing the land and all it represented. She'd adopted his world, then accepted him, and for that, he loved her dearly.

Not just once had she returned, but several times, with each one being her idea. She was there because that's where she wanted to be. If the lesson that his father had spent years teaching him was true, then she was his. The question was, did he want her in that way? To be her lord and master? To be the one responsible for her health, her welfare, and her happiness?

All these questions, and more, whipped around inside him, confusing him, leaving him feeling emotionally dizzy. But by that same token, if he didn't want her, why was he here? What had made him feel compelled to drive all the way to the city, just to be with her again, to see her, to talk to her, and if their morning had been any indication, maybe to make love with her? There was a reason, Colin knew, deep down inside, but he couldn't fathom what that reason was. All he knew was that he was in a strange place that he didn't know or understand, or even care for all that much, yet there was no compulsion inside to leave, to escape, to run away from it.

As he followed the asphalt-covered pathway, the whisper of leaves called to him, and Colin found himself being cradled by the serenity of a large oak tree, its sprouting canopy of green offering him shelter from the confusion of a world he didn't understand, or maybe even belong in. Gratefully, he left the path to cross over the manicured green of the grass, and surrendered to the tree's offer of shelter.

"Never thought a tree in the middle of a city could look so good, or be so welcome. Thank you, my friend", he spoke to the solitary planting.

Sliding down the rough-barked trunk, Colin allowed himself to settle on the ground, not sure whether he really wanted to follow up on his own introspection, still not decided if he even needed to. Maybe his questions had no answers, or if they did, maybe they weren't meant for him to hear.

Through the fog in his head, and his unfocused, blurred eyesight, Colin saw a little girl, maybe four or five, who had been walking with her mother, then had stopped to entice a little grey squirrel to accept an offered peanut. The squirrel, of course, not knowing one human from another, was wary to the point where it refused to get any closer to the child, yet hungry enough to hold its present position.

Colin slowly stood up, then approached the girl and her mother in a direction that wouldn't scare the little animal. Once he'd found himself standing beside the frustrated youngster, it became natural to squat down beside her, so that they'd both be on the same level, and could interact as equals.

"Hi", he introduced himself in a soft tone. "My name's Colin. Trying to get him to eat from your hand?"

"Uh-huh", the little one responded, her upset quite unmistakable.

"There's a trick to it, you know. Want me to show you?"

"Uh-huh", she repeated, not really convinced that he could help solve her dilemma.

"Well, first you have to let him get to know you. Right now, he's not sure if you're his friend, or an enemy that might hurt him."

"Here, Squirrel", the little girl called out with real hope in her voice. "I won't hurt you. Promise."

Colin chuckled softly, trying not to sound condescending, but still unable to dismiss the child's optimistic naivety.

"He's a squirrel, Sweetie", Colin started to explain. "He doesn't understand what you're saying. You have to show him."

"How?", she asked, not understanding what he was really trying to tell her.

"See how his nose twitches? Squirrels, like a lot of other animals, think with their noses. As far as he's concerned, if he can't smell it, it doesn't exist,. But you have to show him that it's just you, and no one else. Know how?"

"Uh-uh", she confessed her ignorance.

"Here", he began to demonstrate. "Lick your fingers really good. Like this", and Colin stuck two fingers in his mouth, then slathered them with his saliva. The little girl imitated him perfectly.

"Nothing smells exactly like you more than your saliva", he informed her. "Now, all we have to do is give Mr. Squirrel over there the chance to sniff those fingers. So, now you're going to reach your hand out to him, but do it slowly. Don't want to scare him, do you?"

"Uh-uh", she answered again, while focusing her complete attention on the little gray object of her efforts.

"Okay, this is the hard part, but you can do it. I know you can. Now slowly, reach your hand out, then wait for him to come to you and sniff your fingers. Be very still, so we don't scare him."

The child did as she'd been told, almost frozen in place as she waited for the squirrel to react. It was several minutes later that the animal's curiosity overpowered its natural instinct to flee, and the squirrel inched forward slowly, its nose twitching at a furious pace, and the scent of this small human enticed it to consider trusting her.

"That's it, Sweetie", Colin encouraged her. "He's coming, but we still have to be patient. Okay?"

The girl started to answer his question, then realized that any noise from her could ruin her chances of success. Instead, she nodded her head slowly.

Eventually, her little gray friend had its nose almost right on her finger, and it was all the child could do to contain her elation. As Colin watched her concentrate, he softly continued with the words of encouragement.

"See? You're doing it, Sweetie. He's starting t trust you. Now, I want you to pull your hand back, slowly, and try not to scare him. Ready?"

In answer, the little girl began to retract her hand from the squirrel, who sat up on his haunches to keep an eye on this unknown creature before him, yet ready to flee at the first sign of danger.

"Has your Mom got something for you to feed him?", Colin asked the little girl, but looked to her mother for an answer. The woman, completely enthralled with what her daughter was attempting, offered him a small handful of unsalted peanuts. Colin reached a hand up to accept the bribe, then returned with the bounty in his open palm.

"Okay, Sweetie, here we go. Lick your fingers again, just like you did the last time, then take a peanut out of my hand when you're ready."

Still concentrating on the gray-furred animal before her, the child carefully licked the tips of all her fingers, then without breaking eye contact with the little animal, reached over and retrieved a single nut from Colin's palm.

"Good girl", he praised her. "Now, remember how slowly you went the first time? This time, do it just as slowly, but keep that nut in your fingers so that he can smell it, along with your scent. When you get your arm all the way out, just wait for him to come to you. Okay?"

With infinite patience, the girl eased her arm towards the squirrel, and when it was fully extended, waited for the little creature to make the next move.

"Patience, Sweetie, patience. He knows he wants the food, and he thinks he can trust you, but he's not sure yet. Let him make up his mind, and we'll see if he takes that nut from you."

Still enamoured with her results so far, the little girl waited for the squirrel to decide, her face a mixture of hope and anticipation. Colin caught himself holding his breath as he said a silent prayer that the child's patience would be suitably rewarded.

Now with less fear in his attitude, the squirrel took a chance, sniffed the peanut in the little girl's fingers, then picked it up with his prehensile forepaws. It was all the youngster could do to stifle a scream of delight, but she managed, and Colin was proud of her efforts and control.

"Should we see if he'll take another one?", he invited.

She struggled to contain her enthusiasm, but didn't dare move too quickly, for fear of scaring off her new-found friend.

"Okay, Sweetie, you know what to do. Pull your hand back slowly, lick your fingers again, take a nut out of my hand, then reach out to Mr. Squirrel. Ready?"

The youngster followed Colin's instructions fully and faithfully, successfully feeding the squirrel not only that nut, but a full half-dozen more, too. That look of awe on her reached a place in Colin's heart that he never knew existed before, and it felt good to find it, he decided.

"Sweetie, Mr. Squirrel can be a bit of a piggy", he started to wind down their session. "If he had his way, he'd sit here all day and eat your peanuts. But his little tummy can't handle that many, and if we give him much more, he'll keep eating, get a tummy ache, and get sick. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?"

With a sudden realization that her generosity could have a negative impact, the little girl let her reactions show on her face. Then with the same patience she'd shown until now, she slowly pulled her hand back, then stood up. Now looking into Colin's eyes, the gratitude that her eyes expressed shone like a beacon in the night.

"That was ... that was the most amazing thing I've ever seen", the child's mother offered an opinion. "Do you have children of your own, Mr... ", and she hesitated, trying to remember the name he hadn't given her.

"Blackthorn", he filled in.

She offered a hand to shake, and Colin began to reach out in acceptance, stopping to wipe off his fingers before taking hers in his grasp.

"And no, I don't have any kids. I live by myself, so the opportunity's never presented itself."

"You'd make a great father", she furthered her impressions.

"Yeah, I've been told that a couple of times", he supplied, "but like I said, the opportunities have never come along, so I don't know if it's true or not. Maybe it was never meant to be, in my case."

Looking back down on his young pupil, Colin couldn't help but smile at her look of awe and beaming accomplishment.

"What do you say to Mr. Blackthorn, Selena?", her mother reminded the child

"Thank you, Mr. Blackthorn, for showing me the squirrel", she recited her manners from rote.

"You're more than welcome ... Selena. If you can remember how you did that, you can make friends with all kinds of animals. Just remember not to feed them too much, okay? We wouldn't want them to get sick."

"Do you have animals, where you live?", the youngster wanted to know.

"Well, I have a blackfoot ferret that lives under my woodshed, and a raccoon that makes his home near my compost pile. Oh, and then there's Pepé", he rattled off the names he'd given to the members of his menagerie.

"Who's Pepé?", Selena wanted to find out desperately.

"Pepé? She's a skunk that lives behind one of the other buildings at my place", he told her.

"Eww! A skunk? They smell!", and her little nose wrinkled up in mock disgust.

"Not if you don't scare them, they don't. Actually, Pepé's getting to know me pretty well, but I still have to be careful not to scare her, or she will make a stink. But skunks make pretty good pets, if you have their scent glands removed. Pepé's a wild animal, though, so I'd never do that to her. She's my friend."

"Is that where you learned how to handle animals?", Selena's mother asked.

"I think they taught me", he chuckled. "And they're teaching my..."

The term, "girlfriend" almost slipped off his tongue, and at that point in his life, he wasn't sure it applied.

" ... a very good friend of mine all about wild animals", he corrected himself, yet found the trace of a tear in his eye.

"Sad memories?", her mother asked, having spotted the glint of moisture that he was trying to hold back.

"No, not really", he tried to defuse her questioning. "Well, one of them is. My Dad taught me all about animals, before he was ... before he died. But my friend? That's a good memory."

"This will be a good memory for me, and for Selena, and I thank you for sharing it with us."

"My pleasure", he replied, then realized that he truly meant it, too. The time he'd spent with Selena had meant more to him than he'd thought it would, and a happy grin pulled up the corners of his mouth.

"I'd love to stay and talk", he started to excuse himself, "but there's someone I have to meet. So would you excuse me?"

There was a banal exchange of pleasantries for a few moments, and Colin finally tore himself away from the scene he'd initiated. But as he headed to another part of the park, not only did his questions about Brianna and BethAnn come back, but they were joined by ones regarding parenthood, a subject he'd never even contemplated before. Was that something that he should consider? Was he even interested?

As he strolled aimlessly, all those questions kept chasing their own tails, slowly marrying themselves to feelings and emotions that were part of the same whirlpool of confusion, then divorcing themselves as others became evident to him. He was about to give up the search, when a quick flash of something made itself known in the periphery of his vision.

Turning his head to get a better view, Colin sought the source of that flash, and for a short second, he almost thought he'd seen the ghost of an albino stag. Whether it was real or a memory, he wasn't sure. However, it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. But the image remained in his head, and with it, a sense of peace and serenity began to flow through him, enough that he could comfortably set the introspections aside and return to the here-and-now for a while.

Colin found his way back to the little restaurant that BethAnn had suggested, and once inside, had no trouble finding her and Brianna. As he sat down, BethAnn greeted him happily, and there was an air of joviality that bound the two in a warm atmosphere of camaraderie.

Now close to his lover again, Colin permitted some of those troubling questions inside to resurface selectively. That far-away look grabbed BethAnn's attention, and she became a little concerned.

"Where did you go?", she opened her examination.

"Hmm? Who? Me?", Colin absently responded.

"Of course you", she localized her interrogation. "You look like you're a million miles away. Something on your mind?"

"Yeah, I guess so", he tried to dodge a further inquisition.

"Are you going to tell me what?", BethAnn pushed.

"Maybe later", he attempted to defuse her curiosity. "Maybe I should be asking you if there's something you want to share with me. Like, how your morning went?"

"Same old same-old", she replied, hoping to answer his enquiry, then get back to her own. "How about you? What did you do in the park?"

Colin described the incident with Selena and her mother, and as he did, Brianna carefully watched the changes in his eyes. There were so many that she wasn't sure what they were, or what they meant, but the overall impression was that Colin had opened up parts of himself that had previously been either hidden or ignored. It was that look of longing in his eyes, as he recited the tale of the little girl and her feeding of the squirrel, that impacted her most. Remembering her conversation with BethAnn in the early hours of the morning, a sense of agitation began to emerge with regard to her friend's dilemma.

 
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